A Drop in the Ocean

With my extremely sensitive vampire hearing, I could hear Jake talk with the guys about me in the softest of voices as Emily and I walked away. I felt my heart do that pitter-patter thing while listening to them. A part of me was very glad Emily didn’t have wolfy hearing nor vamp hearing, or I knew she’d have noticed and questioned me about the sound my heart had just made.

“Jake looks extremely happy tonight,” Emily commented as we got closer to her home. You could smell the fireplace going inside, the wood-smoke coming out of the chimney. It had such a wonderful aroma: it made me feel like I was ‘home.’ “I really hope he is… I know he’s wanted this for a really, really long time. I feel so bad that he’s had to wait five years for it, but, I don’t think my Mom would have survived had I been born full grown,” I teased and Emily couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m really glad Bella did survive, even if it meant her becoming a vampire. I know Jake will admit to it now, but before… he wouldn’t admit that her becoming a vampire was better than dying completely. None of us would have admitted it,” Emily said as she unlocked the door and allowed me into her home. It had been a while since I’d been in here but nothing looks to have changed in the length of time I’d spent away.

For a long time when I was younger when my Mom felt like having ‘girl time’ with someone other than another vampire—she and I would come here with Jacob. Jake would disappear with the guys for a while and Mom, Emily, and I would just sit and talk. Although when I was younger I did less talking and used my gift much more often to project my thoughts into others’ minds.

“That’s what we’ve talked about tonight, Jake and I…we’ve talked a lot about the past. I thought talking about the past on our date would make it awkward…keep thinking back to Jake being a big brother figure to me. But in all honesty I’m just glad he’s always been there. It makes me love him even more…” my voice began to trail off after stumbling over those words. I just admitted I loved him, didn’t I?

“I believe you’ve always loved Jake. As a big brother, a protector, a best friend…but I’m glad to hear that maybe those feelings have grown to become something more. When a man imprints… to feel that kind of love…to know that kind of devotion; it’s really amazing, Renesmee.” To hear Emily speak about it that way, I was quite giddy over the fact that we were both the ‘imprinted.’

“We should start a monthly group for the imprinted,” I teased and Emily laughed as she began to heat up two bowls of Chili, one for Jake and one for myself. “Oh, is that fresh homemade bread?” I asked and Emily nodded. “Help yourself. I made quite a few loaves. I was going to give a few to Sue for your Grandpa.” “I’m sure he’d love that,” I said with a smile and took one of the loaves and wrapped it in one of the cloths sitting beside it.

“I’m sure Jake will love homemade bread with the Chili. I hope you made it spicy,” I commented and she laughed. “I always do, Ness. I always do. The wolves like things spicy…Sam’s no different than Jake when it comes to that.” I laughed at the way that she made it sound like all the wolves were alike: in a way, I guess they were. Sam and Jake was quite a bit alike…maybe it’s because they’ve both been Alphas.

“If I remember right,” said Emily as she sat the warmed bowls of Chili down on the counter to go tend to the fireplace. “Your Mom really liked spicy food as well. When she would come to my house with Jake, she loved my cooking.” I watched as Emily poked at the fire with a metal poker.

“I definitely inherited that, then,” I admitted with a small laugh. “I adore spicy food. I adore food in general though. I’m not terribly picky about what it is that I eat as long as it looks good, or smells good, and above all else…taste good.” I listened as Emily laughed at what I’d said. I’m sure she could relate; all good cooks have a deep appreciation of food or at least they should.

“I wish my family ate human food sometimes. That’s why Jake takes me out to eat so often… he has for the last year religiously and sporadically before then.” I admitted and lent against the counter, watching as Emily walked towards the wood pile. “Here, let me.” I crossed the room rather quickly and took a few small pieces and put it on the fire.

“Oh Ness, you didn’t have to.” “Already done,” I said with a small giggle. “I by as well put this vampire strength to use sometimes. Most of the time, I live rather humanly,” I admitted and grabbed a bowl of Chili and the bread, leaving Emily to carry the other bowl of Chili and a couple bottles of soft drink underneath her arm.

We started our trek back out to the beach, smiles on our faces. “It’s good to hear you live humanly, though. You’ve got all your life to live immortally,” Emily had quite the point there. I hadn’t really thought of it that way: enjoy living life as a human now while you can pass for it… worry about living like a vampire later. “Damn, something smells good,” I heard Jake’s voice as we got pretty close to the bonfire. The butterflies in my stomach couldn’t help but to get all jumpy again.

“Chili,” I grinned and handed him the bowl in my hands and sat down next to him, taking the bowl from Emily and the soft drinks as well. “Wow, Em, I didn’t expect homemade Chili. You know I always love yours,” Jake said in an appreciating tone of voice and dug right into the steaming hot bowl. “Homemade bread, too,” I unclothed it and tore a chunk off, handing it to Jake. “Fuck yes, jack pot.”

Emily started to giggle at his enthusiasm, sitting back down next to Sam who wrapped his arm around her. I smiled at the way they acted around one another. “I think Jake likes my Chili better than you, Sam,” she commented and Sam made a small growl, chuckling. “Nobody could like anything you do better than me, wolf girl,” he purred and I found myself grinning like an idiot as I began to eat my own bowl of Chili.

“Oh God, Jake isn’t kidding with the praise. This is the best tasting Chili I’ve ever had, Emily,” I admitted and found myself eating it quite fast…just as fast paced as Jacob. I was probably the only girl who could keep up with his pace in eating. “Just don’t let Grandpa Charlie hear me say that. He’ll tell you Sue’s is the best this side of the Rockies.” I was pretty hungry though so I slowed down the talking and picked up the eating. Last night, this morning, and popcorn at the movies…those were the first times I’ve had human food in over a week. I’d had animal blood last week… I was surprised my eyes weren’t still golden.

“I’m really glad you like it. It’s a variation of Sue’s recipe, really; we all use the same family recipe but just do it a little different than the other one. I add more spicy things, as I told you…Sam likes it hot. I could always make another pot sometime and jar it up for you to take home. I’m sure Jake wouldn’t mind taking it to you,” she commented and Jake nodded his head immediately. “So long as you remember to jar some up for me and my Dad, that is,” Jake commented with that grin of his. “Any excuse seeing me,” I teased and sat my empty bowl down into the sand. Of course Jake had already finished just a moment before me.

“Never excuses,” Jake purred and I felt my spine get a shiver from that tone of voice: I most certainly wasn’t used to him sounding like that with me… I felt his warm, strong hands pull me into his lap. I gazed down at him and blushed, raising my eyebrow. “In front of all the wolves, Jake, really,” I questioned and he gave a soft chuckle. “Why not, Ness; they understand better than anybody else…”

“Ugh, you two,” Leah made a fake gagging sound which made me laugh. I turned my head some and smiled as I saw Emily with a digital camera. “What is it about pictures tonight? Aunt Alice had to take some of us as well.” “Perfect moments deserve to be captured,” said Emily as she started to take some photos. Not just of Jake and me but of everyone sitting around the bonfire. I guess in a way it was a very picturesque evening; spent with friends on the beach around a bonfire, eating Chili and s’mores. What could possibly be better?

Honestly, I would be glad to have sets of these photos for a scrapbook. Vampires…we’re largely into scrapbooking. You should see the collections we have spanning over the last hundred years. Especially scrapbooks of my Mom and Dad’s relationship… mostly compiled by Aunt Alice or Grandma Esme…or even Grandma Renee. Seems to be more of a vampire woman hobby and not vampire man, they just like to have journals spanning the course of centuries…mainly my Father Edward, and Grandfather Carlisle.

“What time is it?” I asked in a soft voice and due to me being his lap, Jake shifted a bit to be able to look at the watch on his wrist. “Eleven thirty. We still have an hour and a half before I have to get you home,” he admitted and I smiled in relief, laying my head against his shoulder. “Good, I was afraid our night was going to abruptly end. It’s gone too perfectly to end so soon,” I mumbled against his shirt and felt him rumble with gentle laughter.

“I don’t know if it’s been perfect…” he teased quietly into my ear, making a chill run up and down my spine once more. These feelings, these urges…they were so new but, I let my body react the way it wanted to… My nails dug into his loose fitting tee shirt. “Stop doing that, Jake… it’s not fair, because I can’t do it back to you…” I mumbled; you could hear a slight whine to my voice. I wanted to make Jake feel the same way he made me feel, this new…wonderful feeling. I’m sure the other wolves were having a field day with this behind my back…

“You do it to me, Renesmee; I just don’t show it as easily as you do… but trust me, you have that control over me and then some,” he whispered, his hot breath hitting my ear so perfectly as he spoke. My back started to arch instinctively because of it, my chest pressing against Jake’s.

“Dammit, Jacob Black,” I whimpered, growling into his ear now as my nails continued to dig more roughly into his chest. “Ness,” Jake shifted a bit beneath me and made a mewling sound as he did so. I was surprised I could make him do that, so I pulled my head back and my eyes gave away that I was slightly startled. “Told you, you could do it to me,” Jake chuckled. I gazed down into his eyes, slipping my fingers into his somewhat short black hair.

“I had no idea… I’ve never had control over somebody before, not in this way at least,” I whispered and felt my cheeks flush pink. This was…this was romantic and I’ve never been romantic before. I had control over my parents, to a certain degree: if I said jump, they’d ask me how high.

I had control especially over Aunt Rose; she loved to spoil me with this and that. It was like I was her daughter instead of my Mother’s; sometimes I really wondered if I was. But again, this, what I had over Jacob was completely different.

“You’ve had it over me your entire life, Ness. You’ve no idea how far that control goes… if you wanted me to jump off a cliff, I probably would,” of course I had to stop him right there with a small snort-laugh. “Don’t even. Mom says you guys used to do that for fun… so that’s not like saying you’d do something you’re afraid of for me…” I teased him and he cackled. “You caught me, but I’d still do anything for you.”

Those words made me blush, naturally; and I was just about to say something else when I heard a small voice behind me. I think my ears were finally coming back around to hearing everything around me instead of just focusing on Jake’s velvety voice and the crackling of the fire. Part of me wished we could be alone… but I hated to drive our friends away.

“It’s getting a little late,” said Emily and I turned my head back towards them and saw she and Sam were standing up to leave. Leah and Seth stood as well. “We’d best get in, too. Mom will have a fit if we don’t get some sleep before church in the morning,” Seth admitted.

“Plus the whole drive back into town,” Leah groaned at the thought, I could tell. I had forgotten for some reason; guess it slipped my mind because of how muddled my mind was in general thanks to Jake, that Seth and Leah lived in Mom’s old house now with Grandpa Charlie and Sue. For the longest time when I was a child and Grandpa was first ‘dating’ Sue, she and the kids still lived in their house out here on the reservation.

I had heard from Leah that a lot of people on the reservation didn’t exactly like that their Mother had begun dating my Grandpa…something about it showing she never loved Harry or something, which I thought was a load of bullocks from the get-go even as a child. Part of me wondered if Grandpa would actually get married to Mrs. Clearwater… I was just glad he had somebody to love him and somebody to love in return; they really did seem to be made for one another…

“Is it okay if we stay out here longer?” I was brought out of my thoughts by the burning question at the back of my mind so I asked Jake and he nodded, I was glad he wanted to stay even though everyone else was leaving. “Thanks for the food Em, and the company, everyone,” Jake thanked his friends and we all said our mutual goodbyes. “We’ll talk tomorrow,” I said to Emily and to Leah as well and they said goodbye before everyone started walking off in their own directions.

Sam and Emily towards their home not that far from here, I could still see smoke coming out of their chimney in the distance; Leah and Seth walked another way, where I imagined Leah’s car was parked. Paul and his girlfriend along with Embry and his, they walked together back towards what I imagined was one of the guys houses. I wasn’t sure whose house was whose other than Sam’s and then Jake’s of course.