A Love Like War

Before I opened my eyes I could already feel the aching pain rumbling inside my head, but the pain in my stomach suddenly hit when I found myself rolling out of bed with my eyes still closed as I ran to the washroom and spilled the leftover burning contents of my stomach. My loud retching must have woken up my brother because by the time I had finished, cooling my forehead on the porcelain of the toilet, Mike was leaning against the doorway staring at me with the utmost concern in his eyes. Upon our eyes meeting, he nodded as if understanding, and left the room. I got up with a groan and brushed my teeth until they felt numb and all I could taste was mint.
I didn't bother dressing yet, and instead put on my robe. I began tying it around my waist as I walked into the kitchen, sitting at the table. Mike joined me mere moments later and I lifted my head to see him approach with two cups of coffee. He placed them on the table and turned back, soon emerging with two plates as well. He placed the eggs and bacon in front of me and I gave my brother a soft smile before taking a sip of coffee and cutting into the eggs.
"She came back late last night asking for money. I turned her away with a suitcase of her things." Mike said quietly, as if talking to his coffee cup. I just nodded and continued to eat nonchalantly.
"How do you feel about it? I mean, I guess I could've seen it coming..." He continued, shrugging as he shoved in a piece of bacon into his mouth.
I just sighed. "I know it's terrible of me but I don't care. Us ending was inevitable, it's a shame we couldn't do it better."
Liar. I thought to myself. You hated her all along for what she did and you knew it.
"Now that's what I want to hear! God, I did not want to have heart to hearts all day. Now what do you say about going out to the bars tonight? Find some new ladies?" Mike winked at me before standing up and collecting our plates.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. The last thing I wanted was to fake emotion with another girl. But for my brother I could play pretend for one night, right? "Sounds great, Mikey."
"Vic, can I ask you something?" Mike asked minutes later, leaning against the wall and scratching nervously at his arms.
Nodding, I furrowed my brows and waited for Mike to continue.
"I'm really worried about you. Last time you came home your drinking was bad, but... Vic, it can't happen again. Are the nightmares worse? Because you know there's places you can-"
"Mike, no. I'm fine. See?" I smiled, gesturing to myself.
Mike just nodded and turned away, but I knew he didn't buy what I was trying to sell to him. With a sigh I got up from the table and went back to my room to get dressed. I took my time and emerged minutes later, dressing more casually than I did yesterday.
"Mikey!" I shouted, knocking on his door. "I'm going out and I'll see you later!"
Mike responded with a grunt on the other side of the door. Taking that as a que I went outside and began my walk towards the pier.
I want to see Kellin.
*****
Upon arriving to the pier, I took my time when I realised it was much earlier in the morning than I thought. The crowds were minimal, so I allowed myself to get sidetracked and sit on the beach. I removed my shoes and buried my toes in the sand, relaxing as I laid back and closed my eyes to bask in the morning sunlight.
"Victor! Michael! You two, come over here right now you rascals!" My mother shouted at us in Spanish. At 5 years old, Mike was already in more of a big brother role than I was.
"C'mon, Vic. Mom made sandwiches!" He moaned, tugging on my hand. He continued attempting to dig me out of the grave we made for me, my entire body except for my head buried in sand. It was our first trip to the shores of California and we couldn't have been more excited, doing ever possible beach activity our child minds could muster.
With a smile on my lips I sat up, watching the grains of sand fall through my fingertips as I recalled one of my favourite memories as a child. Noticing the larger crowds and the brighter sun, I decided now would be a good time to get up before it got too busy. Brushing the sand off, I stood up and began towards the pier with my eyes down. Based on today's perfect weather, it would be the kind of day Winnie would be down here to catch a tan with her friends. Or was she meeting that man the whole time?
Who the hell cares? I didn't.
I walked alongside the pier, putting on a facade that this was just a walk out of pure boredom. But no, this was a walk of determination. I felt confident as I knew I was getting closer, remembering that Kellin seemed interested too. I told myself everything was okay as I got closer and closer until I was there.
But he wasn't.
I looked around, whipping my head around to see if he decided to relocate. But there was definitely no sign of him. I felt upset, but then anger took over. What if I scared him off? Or worse, what if he wasn't interested in me?
This is another boy for God's sake, Victor.
With a sigh and gritted teeth, I walked the rest of the pier in attempt to piss my time away. By the time I was back to where Kellin should be, there had been a sudden crowd.
I came closer to the spot before noticing this was different. Not Kellin's booth, but a recruitment booth. It looks like they've stooped to a new low to advertise somewhere as popular as the beach, but desperate times did call for desperate measures after all.
I walked closer, to see what all the ruckus had been about. Was something going on, or was this all just the usual troop gathering?
"Urgent! Next week! Training included!" The loud mouthed guy at the booth shouted. Beside him sat a less active nurse, popping her gum as she passed the forms out. Adding a female to the mix was for the idea that men would come easier. In my opinion, it was just a pathetic excuse for these men to act inappropriate.
Once I was moved closer I took a form and a pen from the nurse. I smiled and tipped my hat at her, something she wasn't used to when I noticed the blush in her cheeks. Looking it over, I realized maybe going back out wasn't the worst idea.
I'd need something to do with my time, right? And it would definitely get my mind off of Kellin...
The idea had pushed me and before I knew it my signature was across the bottom page.
"Ah, Fuentes, glad you'll be joining us!" The man shouted. I looked up and recognized him as my only, well, liked co-fighter.
"Well if it isn't Barakat. Putting that sound box of yours to good use?" I asked, handing my sheet over with a smirk. Jack only rolled his eyes and snatched it out of my hand.
"I'm getting extra cash for this Fuentes. Shut it."
I nodded, instantly shutting up. Jack had a "roomate" living with him, another war veteran I'd been familar with. His name was Alex Gaskarth, one of the most revered guys in Southern California. That was until he was injured, losing a leg in battle. Since then he'd been completely unusable and trash to the government. Jack took care of him now, working two jobs when he wasn't off in war. Those nights I'd been in bunkers with Jack, we'd talk about Alex. And that their actual relationship status stayed between Jack and I, me being the only outsider who knew the truth.
"I'll be seeing you." I smiled, leaving the booth. As I pushed my way through the crowds, I noticed a certain raven haired boy brush past me and towards the front. My stomach dropped as I watched him, without hesitation, sign his form and hand it in.
No, no, no.