A Love Like War

Dinner was silent.
Mike and I ate, looking up at each other every few moments. It would be our last meal together for a while, potentially forever. We both were desensitized to death after our parents died, knowing that at any time we could lose someone... even each other. I realised I was staring at Mike when he gave me an awkward side smile and a chuckle.
"Don't be giving me that look, hermano." Mike said quietly.
"What look?" I muttered, swallowing my food.
"You know, the look ." Mike said, imitating a sad face at me. I chuckled and pretended to brush it off, rolling my eyes.
"You're a character Mikey. That's for sure. Life's gonna get real boring without you."
"Then you should've let me come too." Mike mumbled under his breath.
I took a deep breath, clenching my fists and unclenching them. "Michael..." I said warningly. "Don't bring it up."
Mike sighed and got up, his chair scraping behind him. He collected his plate before wordlessly turning around and going into the kitchen. Gritting my teeth I followed behind.
"You have no reason to be upset, here. I'm-"
"You're what, Vic? Saving me? Newsflash, we're all going to fucking die in this mess! The least I want is to be by my brother's side! Do you know what it's like worrying sick being stuck here? Working a bar job while my brother is off killing and defending, watching the people around him drop left and right? Only hoping he isn't the next one to fall? And I'm expected to sit and wait for that slip of paper telling me your coffin will arrive soon?" Mike shouted, exasperated. His long lanky arms thrown around as he gestured for effect before falling flat, and he was staring at me.
I opened and closed my mouth, gulping like a fish. I was speechless.
"Please don't leave like this. I'm sorry." Mike spoke quietly, stepping towards me. His arms wrapped around me and squeezed the life back in.
"I promise, I promise to be safe Mike. I don't want to lose you, and I'm doing my best to protect you from that. If you were older you'd do anything to stop me, wouldn't you?" I said into his shoulder, his height too massive for me to speak near him in our hug. We soon pulled apart at arm's length.
"Yeah. I know Vic." Mike smiled sadly at me. I got up on my tip toes and ruffled his hair.
"Chin up, solider." I winked at him before turning around and getting my things. "Now time to get outta here."
Mike nodded and scurried behind me, lifting my final bag.
We began the short walk to where the pick up/drop off was occuring, already a noticable crowd had gathered. Mike and I talked absentmindedly to each other, mostly to get our minds off of the inevitable. We talked about Mike working, about the new girl he's seeing. Soon enough we found ourselves standing silent, the truck in front of us as the surrounding noises of goodbyes reminded us of the inpending situation ahead.
"I guess this is it... again." Mike sighed, then smiled. I nodded and without warning threw my arms around my brother and held him tight.
"Stay strong bud. I'll see you again."
Passing me my bag, I threw it in the truck and climbed in after it. It was then I looked up to see a familiar pair of blue eyes staring at me.
"Kellin." I choked out.
"Looks like we'll be brothers in arms or something like that, right?" Kellin winked at me. I couldn't help but notice the marks on his face as they gradually began to fade, only striking the match in my mind of where he could've gotten them from.
I nodded and bit my lip before looking down to avoid eye contact, wishing I didn't feel as nervous as I did.
We sat quietly as the rest of the men came in, our knees nearly touching as we faced opposite of each other. Occasionally I'd look up to see his eyes downcasted, a true sadness in his expression. It only made me want to ask what he was thinking about, but I had to look away to stop myself.
It's not healthy to think this way. You like girls. I told myself. Ignore what happened in the past, you're not into guys.
As soon as my mind went into that dark crevice I tried to store away, I instantly felt myself feel angry. My fists clenching, jaw tightening. It wasn't until I felt a hand on my knee that I suddenly felt calmer. I didn't need to look up to see who it was, the electrifying jolts of his touch told me right away.
"Alright men! Out out out!" A sudden shout and squeal of tires took us all by surprise as the truck was opened and we all began to scatter out, losing Kellin in the process. My face fell but I continued to move forward and push my thoughts -- and feelings -- away.
****
It felt like ages had passed when we arrived at the camp after the at least hour long journey. Our bags were taken away and sent to our set rooms while we were led to the preparation area.
"Strip for search." The voice on the loudspeaker came on. A few newcomers looked around confused and I only shook my head at their innocence before beginning to take my own clothes off. Knowing how it worked, I wore the least favourite of my few things, knowing I'd likely never see them again. The clothes were collected from the floor and pilled into the arms of the working nurses and doctors before thrown into a massive bin and wheeled off.
We all stood, completely naked and vulnerable. I kept my head low and eyes closed, my hands crossed over my junk to protect myself from the next step -- spray shower.
I knew it was coming down the line by the sounds of groans and moans from the men who didn't protect themselves. The sudden spray of ice cold water hit me and I hissed, covering myself even more until it moved on. I stood, shivering, for minutes until a small towel and uniform was passed to me. I dressed as quickly as I could before towel drying my hair, removing the elastic from my wrist and tying it around my locks before tucking it into my cap.
After standing in formation for longer than I remembered, we were dismissed to find our living quarters. Our names, posted alphabetically, were listed outside the door of the preparation area with the number of the section we were listed to. I tapped my finger across the board as I located my room, finding the only Fuentes on the list.
"Section 17, section 17." I muttered to myself, turning towards my room. It was a short walk until I found the little area and walked in, crashing onto my bed. I could've fallen asleep right there and then if I hadn't heard the creaking of the bed beside me. My eyes flying open, I looked over to see my new roomate.