A Love Like War

"Victor Fuentes. If I didn't know better, things would look like I had a stalker on my hands."
I let out a nervous chuckle before replying. "I could say the same for you, Quinn."
I instantly felt nervous with the idea of rooming with Kellin. What if he tried to make a move on me, or worse, what if I tried with him? I knew the idea of the latter was painfully likely and I was terrified.
"I promise I'm not all that bad. I shower and brush my teeth, that's the best you could ask for in a roomate." He chuckled. Kellin appeared much more relaxed than I was, as he sat slumped in his corner wall, legs crossed at the ankle as he stretched out. He had taken off the uniform shirt and was wearing a black tank top, the color striking against his pale skin. His boots lay at the foot of his bed, both on their sides with the laces splayed out. His suitcase, beaten and tattered, peeked out from under his single bed.
All in all, he looked right at home. I on the other hand, looked ready to run.
"Ha, yeah. And promise not to murder me in my sleep, I have enough of that to worry about out on the field."
A flicker crossed his face before he went back to his smirk. I knew if I blinked I would have missed the sudden display of emotion in his expression.
"Got that right. How many times have you fought the fight around here?"
I bit my lip as I thought. "Uh, I guess as long as it's been going on, a few years? About 10, maybe 12 battles?" I shrugged.
Kellins jaw dropped.
"And you're....you're.... shit! Wow, that's, wow. A fuckin' lot. How have you...?" He sputtered out, confusion clear on his face.
"I mean, I've been shot a few times, but I haven't died. So I guess I'm doing okay. Take my advice and just do whatever it takes to get out alive. I'm sure you know what I mean." I said.
Kellins expression still didn't change as his mouth stayed agape. And I couldn't help but fight the thought of how adorable he looked.
"You've been shot? And I...no, I don't know. This is, uh, my first." He said nervously, tucking his legs into his chest as he suddenly became vulnerable to me.
"W-wait, first? You mean you haven't...?" I gape. Nearly all newcomers I've ever crossed died within the first few battles. The idea of losing Kellin was something I wasn't willing to think of.
"Nope." He simply shrugged, popping the 'p'. "Never interested me."
I nodded in understanding but I still couldn't get the idea of Kellin's first time out of my mind. It was as if I wanted to just send him back home and tuck him into bed, feeling like it was my duty to ensure his safety.
"So, uh, you're not going to mope around about your girlfriend or anything right?" Kellin asked after a few minutes of silence. His eyes never met mine as I stared in confusion. After failing to reply he looked up. His face changed from confused to upset in an instant. "Shit! I don't stalk you! I promise. God, that was stupid of me. It's just I've uh, seen you on the uh, pier before. With a girl."
I stayed silent.
"Vic, I'm sorry. Rewind. I didn't mean for it to come out that way." Kellin said, his expression sad as he bit his lip.
"It's okay," I said. "But um, we're not together. Anymore." Moving my position on my bed to laying down, I stared up at the ceiling to avoid eye contact. If there was one thing I hate, it's a pity look.
"Shit, I'm so sorry. She didn't deserve you anyhow."
I instantly looked over to Kellin as he clapped a hand over his mouth.
"I mean-"
"It's fine. She cheated, end of story. I'm, uh, going to sleep." I said, my nerves exploding inside of me. Did he mean what he said or did it just come out?
"No! Please don't." Kellin exclaimed, standing up suddenly as if to stop me. Noticing the gesture he sat back down and looked at the ground.
"Please. I don't- I don't want to fall asleep last." He said quieter. If I were any further away the words wouldn't have been heard.
"Okay." I smiled at him. Kellin seemed surprised at the gesture but quickly relaxed.
"I'm sorry for being so...weird. It's just that I'm nervous, you know?" He admitted, laying back in his bed. His arms were positioned behind his head and I watched his muscle flex under the scarred skin.
"Don't be nervous. I'll be here." I said quickly.
"You don't know how much that would mean to me." Kellin yawned, moving his hands to snuggle into his pillow. He took in a deep breath as his eyes fluttered, hair falling in his eyes. It took every muscle to not move over and tuck it behind his ear.
It was only a minute after his breath began to deepen and I knew he was asleep. Smiling to myself, I followed and got comfortable in my own cot. I threw a glance at him every few moments to make sure he was alright. I was tired but the feeling in my stomach wouldn't let me sleep.
I was scared.
Maybe it was for myself. But I remembered the boy in the bed near mine, and realized I worried for him more than myself.