Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Isolation
Days went by, with Pierre and Susan becoming an actual couple, and he still kept coming to me for dating advice.
The days turned into weeks which again turned into months, while life slowly turned into routine. Wake up, being forced to go to school, sitting there pretending to pay attention, getting to lunch and hating the surroundings that consisted of mentally fucked up teenagers and ’happy couples’ who wouldn’t last for shit even if they were going to ’get married right after graduation.’
Yeah, 'cause those marriges always work out. Please, they end up divorced before they’re even old enough to move in together on their own.
After school it was just going home, and usually not doing anything unless Seb or Ash came to drag me out of there.
I know I was isolating myself, and I know I had no reason for doing so, but I just didn’t feel like doing anything lately. I just didn’t have the energy. So most of my days passed in my room, alone or with someone there with me. It didn’t really matter, I just didn’t feel like going outside. I didn’t feel like facing the world, or the people in it. The people who seemed to be constantly looking down on me, as if they all knew something about me, something bad, something that I didn’t even know myself.
I didn’t even feel like eating a lot of the time. Just the thought of food seemed to make me sick to my stomach. I lost a lot of weight, and people noticed. I could sense it, both from the way they would sort of avoid talking about it, and the concerned looks they seemed to send me if I turned down food, or only had one slice of pizza. No one brought it up though, as if they were scared.
I knew they thought I had gone anorexic or something, but I hadn’t, I swear I hadn’t. I wasn’t starving myself, my own body was starving me, but somehow I didn’t feel it. I did get hungry at times, and when I did, I could eat more than any normal person does in a week basically. But that only happened about once every one to two months.
The only one who didn’t seem to be frightened by my sudden isolation and food intolerance was Seb. He would say anything, not force feed me, but he did tell me that I did in fact need to eat. If I didn’t I would make myself severely ill.
I had basically already passed that. I had started snapping at anyone who remotely irritated me, and even passing out from time to time. I just couldn’t understand it. I didn’t mind anyone else eating in front of me, I just didn’t get hungry.
I started avoiding being with everyone at the same time, mostly because that usually didn’t only include the guys, but Susan as well. I’ll admit that she had changed, but she still annoyed the living crap out of me, even if she was a better person now so to speak.
I was happy for them, I really was. They seemed to be happy as ever, and apparently under the impression that they were completely and utterly in love. Maybe they actually were. I don’t know. I should just forget about everything that has to do with the both of them. Past feelings that never really went away.
First impressions are crucial, and my first impression of him was simply ‘Matthew.’ And dealing with it the right way isn’t exactly something I pride myself in. And especially not after what happened about three months after my isolation started.
The days turned into weeks which again turned into months, while life slowly turned into routine. Wake up, being forced to go to school, sitting there pretending to pay attention, getting to lunch and hating the surroundings that consisted of mentally fucked up teenagers and ’happy couples’ who wouldn’t last for shit even if they were going to ’get married right after graduation.’
Yeah, 'cause those marriges always work out. Please, they end up divorced before they’re even old enough to move in together on their own.
After school it was just going home, and usually not doing anything unless Seb or Ash came to drag me out of there.
I know I was isolating myself, and I know I had no reason for doing so, but I just didn’t feel like doing anything lately. I just didn’t have the energy. So most of my days passed in my room, alone or with someone there with me. It didn’t really matter, I just didn’t feel like going outside. I didn’t feel like facing the world, or the people in it. The people who seemed to be constantly looking down on me, as if they all knew something about me, something bad, something that I didn’t even know myself.
I didn’t even feel like eating a lot of the time. Just the thought of food seemed to make me sick to my stomach. I lost a lot of weight, and people noticed. I could sense it, both from the way they would sort of avoid talking about it, and the concerned looks they seemed to send me if I turned down food, or only had one slice of pizza. No one brought it up though, as if they were scared.
I knew they thought I had gone anorexic or something, but I hadn’t, I swear I hadn’t. I wasn’t starving myself, my own body was starving me, but somehow I didn’t feel it. I did get hungry at times, and when I did, I could eat more than any normal person does in a week basically. But that only happened about once every one to two months.
The only one who didn’t seem to be frightened by my sudden isolation and food intolerance was Seb. He would say anything, not force feed me, but he did tell me that I did in fact need to eat. If I didn’t I would make myself severely ill.
I had basically already passed that. I had started snapping at anyone who remotely irritated me, and even passing out from time to time. I just couldn’t understand it. I didn’t mind anyone else eating in front of me, I just didn’t get hungry.
I started avoiding being with everyone at the same time, mostly because that usually didn’t only include the guys, but Susan as well. I’ll admit that she had changed, but she still annoyed the living crap out of me, even if she was a better person now so to speak.
I was happy for them, I really was. They seemed to be happy as ever, and apparently under the impression that they were completely and utterly in love. Maybe they actually were. I don’t know. I should just forget about everything that has to do with the both of them. Past feelings that never really went away.
First impressions are crucial, and my first impression of him was simply ‘Matthew.’ And dealing with it the right way isn’t exactly something I pride myself in. And especially not after what happened about three months after my isolation started.