The Life of Me

So last time i updated you guys knew i was dating donovan right , ok so later kalael teted me and said we need to just give up its not working all that typical bullshit . I freaked the fuck out it was horrible i felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest i got him to give me another chance and i was out of my mind happy , it was amazing how many tears i had shed in twenty minutes , I felt like life was ending . H e was my world. I couldn't be without him. No one will ever understand my relationship with kalael not even i will. But i do know that without kalael i feel dead he gives me that spark , yea i might be mad at him majority of the time and i give him hell , but i love him . I love every single part of him down to how he annoys me. But yet i cant get over him and as much as it hurts me i never really want to let go of him . He makes me happy in a different way. Sometimes i wish i was with him soetimes i dont . Dosnt change the fact i love him.

Point was pretty soon i herd that he and tori were doing stuffa nd it made me feel pretty stupid so i decided hes right. Lets just end it. I gave up and me and donovan fooled untill we got bak together. I do love him alot hes someone i really dont wanna loose, really i cant say much besides i love him and i love us.

BUTTTTTT its so hard to be around kalael and keep acting like i hate him i thought i could do it but i cant . Im not ending nothing with donovan but i cant cut kalael all the way out its just not possible .

I would also like to tell you guys what happned with damont so it was my cousins birthday party and we were going to a hotel and i was getting hella pretty since when im surrounded by boys i dont wanna look grossand like as soon as i got donei hear my uncle say hi to DJ who is damonts dad so i go and kinda hop down the steps and flutter my eye lashes and damont , he kissed me so he must be happy to se me right? .... NO! he acted like a jack ass he started talking about me calling me a hoe and a thot and i was fake and you know hoe when a girl has sex with a guy he goes and tells all his guy friends and they laugh about it and think les of the girl? Well thst id exactly what damont did he got everybody to think bad about me and even my favorite cousin started calling me a thot .

At some point i He was a jerk t every time he tried to talk to me i had the fuck you attitude. Pretty soon we were talking again and he ended up trying to get another kiss and this time i was like fuck no you are not going to treat me like shit and then expect another , im not someone you can play . Later on after facetiming donovan our aunt picked us up . Lil cousin let it slip about me and damont . I lied and denied it and they playes along . We get to the movies and me and big C start holdin hands. I did this only because i was lonley . So really i just used him. Later we went onver his house and i guess he started thinking i liked him which i dont and we were playing aroound and chillin and it was all good we had good conversations since he use to go to our school (hAMS) we got ice cream then left.

The next day when i got home i talked to donovan for awile and andy tells me charles is tryin to get in touch with me and hes acting obsessed trying to figure out who i like and what i like in boys and if i like im. Then he starts hitting donovan up and is like are you dating her , whats her number and donovan was like no nigga gtfo of here with that and then he starts saying donovan is soft and then tells him to ask me what me and him did tryin to make donovan feel salty and then i hit him up like what do yu wznt then he starts lieing saying donovan said we fucked and im sloppy seconds anc again im like what do you want and hes tryin to have a convo and im like no nigga not after you disrespected my boyfriend like he thought he was gonna get anything from me.

Lesson to learn .....you cant keep a secret.