The Life of Me

Finally its all over with . So what happened was me and donovan continued to date and then he did this

donovan: tazz
Me; yeaaa
donovan: do you still like khalil
me: yes why
donovan; as much as you use too?
me: yes why
Donovan: well dont worry about having to lie when people ask if we are ''dating''
Me. smh ok donovan

so he broke up with me , first time for everything right? Thing is well then he wanted to get back together and i was just like no . I realize i really dont deserve donovan , hes too good for me. So maybe even tho i will always have love for him i need to stop making his life complicated and just let him go for now, let him go have fun.

Faceing the facts i am sadly in love kalael and i havnt ever denied it. So anyways me and donovan are still cool i love him none the less. But im still off punishment and i am not trying to get myself back on. Also you guys dont know austin so let me inform you about him .

Austin was the fist boyfriend i had this year , Hes in 7th grade but hes cute asf. Austin had kinda hinted that he would date me when he said he would rather date me than rayna i thought nothing of it tho. I ended up liking him so we knew we liked each other we just didnt speak on it. Rayna ended up going and telling him to ask me out and i really didnt want her too because i am not allowed to date and i didnt want to get in trouble. He asked me and i said no and then he just looked sad and rayna said its most likely because i was the first one to reject him . I cried that day ..i liked him so much . Then next day however i was like screw it and i told rayna i could date. She told austn and he said he already had a girlfriend. So i kept on liking him untill he was single again.

We ended up talking on facebook and he said he had a phone i could have and i thought it was a joke but he was serious. So i said do you always so this for girls and he said no only the ones i like. Then he asked me out and i said yes and i informed him that i wasn't girlfriend material and i wasn't allowed to do anything. He said he just wanted to be happy and i was like ok then. Next day he gave me the phone we dated for like three weeks and then i would facetime him when i got home sometimes. My sister ended up finding out about the phone and kind of flipped out about it but she came to just let it go and the only thing she didn't like was how rude he was to her.

Me and austin would argue alot we were like in bipolar love. I would get mad if he payed his game more attention than me and he would get mad if i didn't respond. Austin is the first who made me feel like i was a psychopath. He smoked weed (i call him stoner baby) and popped pills. Sometime he would talk about overdosing (he was really depressed) and i would threaten to kill myself if he did so he would threaten to kill himself if i did. We were really messed up. But we were in love. We ended up splitting getting back together then splitting again. Now every time he tries to get back with me i say no. Its not worth the headache and heartbreak.

He was sweet as hell tho and i still love him to death. He has given me a ipod for free tho and were still friends so were good.

Kalael on the other hand is my everything so we are not dating ..why?

well thats another chapter.....