Chasing Rainbows

I checked my twitter and almost had a heart attack then started fangirling so hard I was jumping in my spot smiling so big my face felt like it should split in two and laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe and no sound was coming out.

A week ago I had sent a letter to Oli Sykes and today I opened my Twitter to find and message from him.

‘I got your letter and I want you to remember that it always gets better and that someone is watching out for you. Keep your head up and keep fighting. You are worth it. :)’

“MILEY HE RESPONDED!” I yelled and ran into my little sister’s room.

“What?” she yawned and rolled over in her bed to glare at me.

“Oliver Sykes actually replied to my letter.”

“Congratulations? I’m tired Anna. Go away.”

“It is three in the afternoon.” I huffed and walked out of the room.

“Don’t pout! It isn’t my fault you don’t have a life!” she hollered after me. Low blow sister. Low freaking blow.

I got to my room and remembered that he had messaged me and I did a happy dance.

“This is the best day ever!” I whisper yelled and started jumping in my spot. I was so excited I could’ve ran outside and ran laps around the house in my pajamas which were short boxer shorts and my sports bra. Thinking of that… I still haven’t gotten dressed.

“What did you go outside and see the sun?” my mom asked and walked into my room.

“No… I’m gonna go outside.” I said and waved my pointer finger at her. “So ha.” I pulled on my La Dispute shirt and my grey skinny jeans then walked out of room and past my mom who was staring at me funny. “What?” I asked when my hand touched the door.

“You are going outside why?” she asked and put her hands on her hips. “You know it probably wasn’t actually your idol that responded. It was probably his publicist or something. It is insulting that you have more faith in smoke and mirrors than you do in your own family.”

“Because those ‘smoke and mirrors’ have more faith in me than you and our family do.” I said and walked out of the house. “Ah it is bright it burns.” I growled and shielded my eyes. “Lets go.” I whispered and hopped down the steps. I got funny looks from my neighbors. I decided to ignore them.

I had a couple dollars and was going to the store and I had my headphones in so I couldn’t hear most of what people were saying. I saw a couple of girls from the school that I had gone to and they were laughing while looking my way. I looked down at my feet and walked faster. I could only imagine what they were saying. I caught something through a musical pause though. ‘Emo freak.’

“How original.” I grumbled and went through the electric sliding doors. I knew exactly though the store to where they had the Pepsi that I used to get everyday when I went to school. I was a caffeine junkie. I loved caffeine and I loved the chills and shivers that it gave me even more. The bad thing about going into the store is that I felt the need to lower the volume of my music so that they couldn’t hear it which meant that I could hear them.

“Momma why is her hair pink.” A little boy asked his mother. They were standing behind me in the line.

“I don’t know. It isn’t natural… there must be something wrong with her. Normal people don’t have colored hair.”

“Excuse me I can fucking hear you.” I said and glared at her. “There is nothing wrong with me being me but there is something wrong with being a close minded hypocrite.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah. I know that blond hair isn’t ‘natural’. Don’t judge me for dying my hair when you do the same.”

“You are my hero.” The cashier said and high fived me. I felt kind of bad when the lady huffed and walked away stomping her feet slightly. The boy turned back and smiled at me. “Seriously that was freaking amazing.”

“It was nothing.” I said and blushed. I paid the ninety nine cents and left with my Pepsi. I went back through the streets feeling like I needed to be home more and more every second. I was beginning to panic because it felt like walls were closing in on me. I felt like I was being suffocated. I broke into a sprint and hopped the fence around my yard and ran through the front door. I shut it and ran to my room. I shut that door and hopped into my hand made hammock that I had instead of a bed. I curled up in my blankets and took deeps breathes to calm down.

“Wow you really went outside.” Miley laughed and poked her head in through the door.

“Go to hell.” I snapped and threw a pillow at her. She laughed at me again and shut my door.

I hate this shit. I hate how she thinks that it is okay to taunt me. Yes I was afraid of going outside and yes I had some OCD issues. No that gave no one any right to be rude to me. I don’t know why it was so hard to deal with the criticism of others. I should be used to it after all these years. I wrapped myself up in my blankets and hugged my Jack Skellington pillow to my chest.

“Are you okay honey? You kinda blew through the house.” My mom said softly and walked into my room.

“Like you care.” I growled and put my head on my pillow.

“Why wouldn’t I care Anna?”

“Because you don’t care and neither does Miley. That is why you guys tease me so much and you wonder why I don’t want to hang out with you.”

“About that…. You need to get out more or I am sending you to the psychiatric ward.”

“I am NOT going to Cinapaw!” I shrieked and jumped out of my hammock. I almost fell on my face. “Why do you want me to go huh? Because I don’t want to spend time with you! I don’t want to spend time with you because all you do is criticize me! I never hear anything good from you!”

“Anna my decision is made and it is final. You don’t have to like it but you have to respect it.” She said and left the room. I mocked her words then sat on the floor.

“Fuck my life.” I whispered.