First Impressions

It had been a week since I'd met him. I spoke to him every night, I'd learnt that his name was Josh.

Josh Franceschi.

It had been gradually getting colder and colder, and the threat of snow falling became more and more likely.

Now, when I spoke to him, we'd speak for an hour at the very least. Talking to him made me less anxious to get home to the warm.

I was on my way home from the studio again, and I'd stopped to speak to Josh. As we were talking, snow had begun to fall, and I made an offer.

I hadn't decided to say it. I hadn't made up my mind on anything, and I felt like a huge idiot actually coming out with it it. But we were both sat outside, in what was now heavy snowfall, all I wanted was to be in the warmth of my apartment, and there was no way I could leave him out here by himself, so I just said it:

"Wanna stay at my place tonight? It's not amazing, but it's warm." Josh's eyes widened slightly but he shook his head.

"No, I couldn't do that Oli, I mean you've already done a lot for me-"

"No I haven't. I've bought you a few coffees and shared a few bags of chips with you-"

"In my book, that's a lot. And you speak to me every night. Trust me Oli, when you live in a doorway, people prefer to ignore you, because it's easier, they don't feel as guilty, but you didn't do that. You speaking to me means more than any of that other stuff. I'll be fine here, go home." I sighed and stood up, looking around at everything that was already covered in a thin sheen of white.

"Josh just crash on the couch for one night, please? I'll feel guilty the whole time if I know you're out here while I'm in there." He protested several more times but I insisted so he just stood up with a sigh. When he was rolling his sleeping bag up and tucking it into his rucksack, I noticed he had a guitar. It was the first time I'd seen it.

"You play?"

"Oh, yeah, kinda."

"What kind of music?"

"Just my own songs, pretty chilled stuff." I offered to help him carry something but he gestured for me to hang on a second, all his belongings tied up into a neat little bundle and he didn't need me to carry anything.

We walked to my place, now exchanging thoughts on different bands, Josh wasn't too up to date on certain newer stuff because he'd been on the street for a few years now.

We got to my place and Josh set down his stuff in the hall.

"What are you doing?"

"Your place is really nice I mean...my stuff's kinda dirty I-"

"Don't be a prat, bring it in!" He laughed uncomfortably and brought his stuff in, leaning it up against the door.

"Want a drink?" Josh smiled.

We listened to music, played some songs, laughed almost constantly. I felt genuinely happy for the first time in what felt like too long, but not just happy, like I really had someone I could trust.

We must have fallen asleep because in the morning I woke up to an empty apartment, Josh's coffee mug washed and on the dryer, he and his things gone.

A note on the island said :

- thanks Oli -

And that was all.

I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, and the feeling didn't leave me all day.
I walked past Josh's spot five times. Yes, five times, hoping to see him.

But he wasn't there.

I was absolutely terrified that he'd just packed up and left, had I upset him?
Had I done something wrong?
What if Josh was actually on the run from someone? Or the police?
No, that wasn't it. Well, for all I knew, it could've been the case. I suppose I just didn't want to believe it.

Lee came round to my house that evening, just walking in, he never bothered to knock. I glanced over at him and flicked my chin up.
"Alright?" Lee asked, fetching us both beers and sitting down.

"Yeah."

"Right, Oli tell me what's going on, you've been off for days now. Is it something with the record? Cause I thought you'd be well happy for it, and me and the others have all noticed how much of a mardy arse you've been lately."

"Sorry. No it's nothing with the record." He leant forwards slightly.

"I met someone." Lee's face brightened and he clapped me on the shoulder happily.

"That's fantastic!! So why've you been so grumpy the last few days?"

"Because this person has kind of...vanished into thin air." Lee sighed.

"Sorry mate. That happens sometimes. But hey, you'll meet someone else."

"Not like Josh." He mumbled.

"Josh? What it's, he's a- oh!!!" I winced slightly as I awaited Lee's response. I wasn't too bothered, and I didn't think he'd mind, but there was a little part of me that wanted him to be ok with it, not prepared to lose two people in one day.

"Wow. Is he the first guy you've ever..?" I nodded and he did the same.

"Ok, blimey. Well, I'm cool with it, just wasn't expecting that is all." I couldn't hold back a bit of laughter.

"So tell me about what happened then."

I explained everything about Josh, how we'd met, how sweet and clever he seemed, how gifted with music he was. But how he'd then left without any trace of him.

Lee tried to make me feel better to no avail, and stayed for a few hours before having to leave.

"God I hope you're still around Josh." I mumbled to myself that night before drifting into a restless sleep, laden with dreams of big brown eyes, messes of crazy stubble, and a beautiful crooked smile.