You're Magic

I open the front door and find Pete laying down on the couch. He's watching TV and doesn't notice when I come in. "Hi, honey." I call, getting myself a bottle of water from the fridge. I'm trying to avoid our face-to-face interaction for as long as I can. It's only about thirty more seconds until he appears in the doorway. He's already dressed in jeans and a sweater, and he looks so handsome I almost forget about the tension between us.

"You're early." His voice is gruff and he crosses the room to lean against the counter across from me.

"By fifteen minutes. You ready?" I turn away from his gaze, sticking my water bottle back in the fridge. Things feel awkward, and I don't know how to smooth them over or forget. I've never felt such confusion over our relationship before.

"Just let me get a coat," Pete says, climbing the stairs to my room. "How's the foot?" His voice is muffled and distant.

"Better! Still hurts," I call, walking over to the foot of the stairs.

"Is it bruised?" He asks, stopping on the second to last step of the stairs.

"Yeah, a little."

"Let me take a look. A little could mean your whole fucking leg, knowing you." He sits me down on the bottom step with a chuckle and hops down to the floor. He pulls off my boot and sock, acting like things are totally normal between us. Maybe they are, maybe I'm just over thinking things. He's humming 'Somewhere Only We Know' as he unwraps the ace bandage, slow and careful. He lets out a low whistle. "I don't even know how you're walking. This is fucking gross, Evelyn." He raises his eyebrows at me and I roll my eyes.

"It looks worse than it feels, trust me." I wave him off, re-wrapping my ankle to put my boot back on. "It's okay," I assure him. Which is pretty true, even though it's throbbing something awful right now.

"If it doesn't get better in a few days you have to see a doctor, okay?"

"Fine. Can we get lunch now?" I stand up and pull Pete to the door. He stops in his tracks as I'm walking out.

"Can we talk?" He asks as I'm pulling on his hand. I sigh and shut my eyes, dropping his hand. He can see that I'm annoyed, which I am, because I don't want to deal with this right now. "Because I'm trying to pretend that it's okay that you left me to sleep alone, but it's really not."

"If you'd like." The way his voice sounds right now breaks my heart, and I can't help but give in.

"I would." We walk back into the living room and sit down on the sofa, a safe distance between us. I stare down at my hands.

"So, Evelyn, can you please tell me what the hell happened? I thought we were okay. I thought we were great, even. But then the stuff you said last night... I don't know. I'm confused."

"I don't want any shit happening, Pete. I don't want to fuck with you or your family and I don't want to give up everything I have here if we're not going to stay together. It's as simple as that." I shrug a little.

"It's the same argument every time, Masey!" Pete sighs desperately. "You don't understand. I've changed. I'm not going to fight you anymore. I shouldn't have said the things I said or did the things I did. I'm an adult now and it's been almost six years. I'm not that asshole anymore. Do you think I can afford to be with Bronx as my responsibility?" He tilts my chin so I'm looking at him. "I called you up with every intention of picking up where we left off and going further. I wouldn't waste my time if I thought it wouldn't work."

"But I'm just--"

"Can I tell you the truth?" Pete rubs his eyes and he looks tired and worn out. I nod and rest my chin in my hand. "I think you're stuck in the past. You haven't accepted that this isn't 2005 anymore. We're both grown ups now. I'm not going to do anything bad to you, but you're having trouble seeing it."

"I'm not hung up on the past!" I defend. "I'm just scared, Pete. My entire world changed when you called me. I'm trying to be careful. Of course I see that you've changed and that you're really sweet and nice and mature. I'm just being cautious."

"How many times are you going to tell me that?"

"It's the truth, Pete," I hiss.

"You can be as cautious as you'd like," he says, taking my hand. "Just don't let the past get to you. All right? We're going to be fine, Evelyn. We're gonna get married and have kids because you're my girl. You're all I ever wanted and more. When I lost you it was like part of me died. You got that? I'm not going to hurt you." He presses a kiss to the side of my head.

"Yeah, yeah," I nod. "Can we get lunch now?"

"Definitely," Pete kisses my cheek before standing, pulling me up beside him. "If shit's bothering you, just let me know," he tells me seriously. I say yeah, okay, and we walk outside to my car.

Lunch is much better than I expected, and Pete and I act much more comfortable together. He complains about how I'm so Italian and he isn't and it makes me laugh. I mention the article but I don't show it to him because I figure he has no interest. Pete holds my hand while we eat and I think it's super cute. We have cannolis for dessert and I fall in love with Pete ten times harder when he laughs at me and wipes chocolate from my mouth. He takes a long sip of his coffee and taps his fingers against the red tablecloth. The restaurant we're at is fairly small and very busy, but it's one of the best Italian places I've found in New York.

Our lunch is long, but not nearly long enough and I never want to leave Pete again. I bring Pete back to my apartment at 1:30. He kisses me and I can't stop smiling. "I love you," he tells me, brushing hair from my face. "I love you a lot."

"I love you a lot, too." I grin and drop my key in his hand. "Don't lose that or I get locked out. And be home when I get back."

"Okay. We need to make a copy," he says before getting out of the car, which makes me smile more because he's indicating that he'll be here a lot more.

"I'll be home at 5:15," I call after him as he walks away. He turns around and gives me a smile and wave and I feel really, really great.

I leave work at quarter of five after sitting on my ass all day and I get some coffee. When Pete opens the door he's smiling, but what else is new. I hand him a cup of coffee and kiss his cheek. "Hi, Pete." I sigh, walking into the kitchen. I drop my purse on the counter and take a long sip of my coffee.

"Hi, honey, what's wrong?"

"Huh? Nothing, why?"

"You look a little... gloomy." Pete sits on the counter and kicks his feet.

"Just tired, I guess."

"So you don't want to go to Angels and Kings tonight and hang out with everyone?"

"No, I'd love to! What time?"

"I was thinking we could get some dinner and head over there around eight. Everyone else is getting there at seven."

"So you wanna be fashionably late?" I tease, drinking the last of my coffee.

"No. I just want to have a nice dinner with my lovely girlfriend before we party. Is that so bad?"

"Of course not, I'm just teasing you," I ruffle his hair.

"Good. I got you something today!" Pete screeches excitedly, hopping off of the counter. The details all come out in an excited rush. "I went out even though you told me I needed to be home before you and I didn't even know if I would be and I got coffee with Bebe and we were walking and I saw it and it was so nice and I knew it'd be great!" When Pete starts talking in run-on sentences I know he's excited.

"What could possibly be this exciting?" I grumble.

"Come on!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I mutter, meeting him in my bedroom.

"So what is it? Why are you about to pee yourself?"

"Look!" He pulls a black strapless party dress out of my closet. It's sort of satiny looking and it has little ruffles by the bottom. It's actually very nice.

"I like it very much, Pete! Thank you for thinking of me."

"I'm glad you like it! Are you going to wear it tonight?!"

"Of course I will. I think I have a jacket that will go with it just right." I sit down on the bed and lay back on the pillows. "What's for dinner?"

"I was thinking Japanese."

"Sounds good. what time did you want to go?"

"I was thinking we could leave around six thirty? I have reservations for seven."

I glance at the clock, reading five twenty-three. "All right, that's fine. Yeah, that's fine."

"Do you want to take a little nap and I'll wake you up around six to get ready?"

"Yeah," I yawn, snuggling under my comforter. Pete kisses my forehead before standing.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Pete." I close my eyes and I hear Pete walking over to my suitcase with his clothes. I start to wonder how he got so many here then I think that he probably had them sent out or something. I hear the shower running now and Pete keeps walking in between my room and the bathroom. I fall into a deeper sleep and the next thing I know Pete's waking me up. "No!" I whine, batting at him. "I just wanna sleep."

"Come on, babe. We gotta go."

I sit up with a tired groan and Pete smiles before placing a quick kiss on my cheek. I take a ten minute shower and blow dry my hair a little before giving up and leaving it a dark, damp, curly mess. I slip into the dress and Pete zips it up, muttering about how good it looks on me. I throw on a red cropped jacket and matching stilettos. I finish it off with my makeup, including red lipstick, some bracelets, earrings, and a silver heart pendant on a chain that Pete had given to me years ago. I look great, but I can't say I feel so hot. I don't really want to go out, but I know Pete really wants me to, so I'm sucking it up for his sake.

Pete tells me I look fantastic. I blush and don't say anything, taking his hand. We're on our way by six, and he stops at the bank and gives me fifty dollars for paying for dinner last time even though I don't want it. I hug his arm to me and lean my head on his shoulder. "I love you," he tells me randomly. "Have I told you that lately?" He giggles at his joke and this prompts him to (very badly) sing Have I Told You Lately That I Love You? for the rest of the drive.

Dinner is exquisite, yet uneventful, and Pete is so cute and acts like he's such a gentleman, which I know will change the second he's with Gabe and the rest of the crew (Gaby Baby makes Pete go wild).

We get to Angels and Kings at 8:17 and almost as soon as we're inside people are saying hi and shaking hands with Pete and everyone is smiling. Gabe comes bounding over yelling, "Look who decided to show up!" over the music before giving me a kiss on the cheek. We make our way over to where everyone is hanging out. It's honestly like a big Decaydance hangout, which I'm not complaining about because I haven't seen most of these boys in years.

I see Gabe dancing with a bunch of girls and Pete yells something like "Get some!" to him. Pete and I dance for a while and there's people snapping photos everywhere, but it's really fun and Pete's being hilarious and buzzed. My ankle starts to hurt so I ditch him and tell him to have fun. He ends up DJing and spinning stuff like Elton John and Cobra's new songs, which Gabe comes over and sings to me. I missed all of them, but I'm more than ready to go home.

When Pete comes to see how I'm doing it's already eleven thirty and he's had more to drink since the last time I've seen him. He asks if I want to leave and I tell him no and to find his friends. He smiles and kisses my forehead before running over to Gabe. I think he likes that he's allowed to party now that he isn't married anymore.

I only last until a little past midnight before I'm ready to head home, deciding if Pete wants to stay he can catch a ride with someone else. Pete spots me putting on my jacket and looking for my keys and he bounds over. "Whatcha doin'?!" He asks on wobbly legs.

"Getting ready to go. Can I have my keys?" I pick up my clutch and hold out my hand. He drops the keys into the center of my palm. "You can stay if you want," I tell him, checking my text messages and Twitter notifications.

"No, no, no. I'll come with you. Let's go!" Pete takes my hand drunkenly in his and we say bye to his friends. I tell them I'll catch up with them all soon, especially Gabe. The air outside is dry and cold and you can still hear the music from the club a block away.

"I'm freezing," I mutter, sitting in the driver's seat. The leather interior doesn't help me any.
"You look good, if that's any consolation," Pete smiles, resting a warm hand on my knee. My head's buzzing and the drive home feels longer than fifteen minutes. This is why I don't party, I remind myself.

Pete and I stumble inside and he slumps off to put on his pajamas while I get myself a bag of ice for my ankle and get a few painkillers in my system. I hold Pete's hand in mine when I'm lying down beside him and he's already snoring when I'm just tired enough to close my eyes.

*

The next morning I wake up at seven thirty with a headache and Pete's throwing up, hungover. I sit behind him on the floor and rub his back. "Man, you're hungover as fuck, dude." I laugh at him "Do you want pancakes for breakfast?" He responds by gagging.

"I can't even think about eating, man," he whines.

"Poor baby!" I kiss the top of his head before I stand up to get him a bottle of water and aspirin. I go downstairs to make pancakes and in twenty minutes Pete's downstairs, staring at the stack. "Well, what are you waiting for?" I laugh and hand him a plate.

"You're a saint," he tells me between mouthfuls. I smile and eat my yogurt and granola. I take a shower and get ready for the day and when I'm finished I find Pete in the living room watching cartoons. I tell him to hop in the shower and he says okay, hesitating to get up, waiting until there's a commercial break. He reminds me of a little kid, but I love it. I put on the news and watch the reruns from earlier for twenty minutes until Pete waltzes in wearing jeans and a t-shirt, hair damp and messy. He sits beside me and shuts off the TV, which makes me a little nervous.

"So, I'm leaving tonight at nine forty five," Pete sighs, his hazely-honey eyes locking with mine.

"Uh huh."

"Tell me the truth," he says. "Am I going to see you after this or is it over? Because you haven't been very clear and I'm confused." He holds my hand and laces our fingers together. "I'm not trying to change your mind or anything but I'm really in love with you and I'd like to keep you in my life, Evelyn."

I chew on my lip and I start to taste blood but I keep doing it because it keeps me quiet. I think for a few minutes and Pete never rushes me.

"It's okay... if you don't want me," he murmurs eventually. "I understand. I mean, I guess I don't. But I do."

I kiss him even though there's a nice cut on my lip. He holds my face to his tightly, refusing to let me go. I pull myself away, staring into his eyes. "I think... that I would never not want you." I tell him, my words measured in perfect increments. "Because I am very much in love with you. I'm sorry that I wasn't clear that this was going to continue, even if we're a million miles apart." Pete smiles and presses his mouth to my temple. "I guess my only request is that we're careful, okay? Obviously if we don't work, we don't work, but I don't want you to have four wives and Bronx four moms. I don't want you to end up having a shitty VH-1 dating show. Is that fair?"

"That's so beyond fair." Pete's beaming at me now.

"And we're gonna take it fairly easy, all right? Just like all those years ago."

"Except now you've got a Baby Boy to take care of," Pete reminds me sweetly. "And he loves you."

"And you know how much I love babies."

Pete laughs and stands up. "Can we go out?" He asks, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Sure, Pete. We can do whatever you want."

We walk around the city for a while and Pete goes into the quirky shops and have falafels for lunch. We head back to my place around twenty of two and cuddle on the couch to watch Fantastic Mr. Fox. "Evelyn, can I ask you something?" Pete says, playing with my hair as I try to watch the movie.

"What?" I mumble sleepily, glancing up at him.

"I'm not trying to rush you or anything, but I just wanted to know when you'd consider moving in with me?"

"A year, I guess."

"When would you say yes if I proposed?"

"Year and a half, two years. Anything after two years for sure, I guess. I'll never say no."

Pete goes quiet for a really long time. His hand curls around my shoulder and I look up at him. "That's perfectly okay with me. I can wait."

"Do you think she'll be angry?" I whisper, bringing my legs on the couch to sit criss-cross. Pete's hand drops down to my leg and he runs his finger along my jeans. He thinks about it for a minute and I'm already distracted by the movie.

"I don't think so. I mean, we're on good terms and she seems okay. I'm pretty sure she knew part of me still loved you."

"Did she ever say anything?"

"Once or twice she'd said something about it."

"What did you say?" I hug my knees to my chest, resting my chin on top of them.

"I told her part of me did still love you, but it didn't change the fact that I loved her." He takes a breath and runs a hand over his face. He shifts to sit on his feet. I keep my eyes fixed on the TV except I'm not really concentrating; more than anything I'm trying to pretend we're not having this conversation. "And I really did love her, Ev. How could I not? She was nothing but nice and sweet and she made me feel okay again. She gave me Bronx."

"I understand." We're quiet for a couple minutes. I blink my eyes and they're tearing up. I bite my lip and stare at my fingers with chipped electric blue polish.

"Did I say something wrong?" Pete's voice is low.

"No."

"Okay." The word hangs between us and suddenly it's very awkward. Even though I'm unusually sad and I don't want to break the silence, I do.

"Do you want to fuck or something? It's your last day, I'm feeling sad and this is super awkward."

Pete lets out a loud, contagious laugh. He stands up and starts to walk up the stairs and I follow him. He's still chuckling as his arms curl around my waist. "What?" I smile, leaning up to press my lips to his. He pushes me onto my bed and takes off his belt.

"You."

"What about me?" Pete pulls my shirt over my head and drops it onto the floor.

"You're the only girl that could as me to fuck because there's an awkward silence and have it work."

"I guess I can use that to my advantage then, huh?" I lean back on my elbows, watching him as his shirt falls to the floor. He stands in front of me and leans down, kissing my cheek with his hands braced on either side of me.

"I guess you can."

At 3:59 Pete and I are laying in bed, silent. He lets out a long breath. "You make me want to be a better Pete," he whispers out of the blue. "So do a lot of other things. But you do."

"I'm pretty sure the only reason you're on the planet is to be beautiful and charming and to make people feel good." I laugh and pull the comforter around myself tighter.

"I think you're more beautiful."

"Then I must be the prettiest thing in the world then, huh?"

"The prettiest and most beautiful person, easily. But you know I'm a sucker for sunsets."

This makes me kind of really happy because it reminds me that Pete doesn't put me above everything else. I don't know how to explain it, but I'm glad he doesn't idolize me, I guess. Because he could think I'm better than everything and everyone, but he doesn't. He knows he can still love his fans or his friends when he loves me, and I'm glad I don't take that away from him. And even though he can love and appreciate all the other things in the world as much as he does me, he still looks at me like I cause the sun to rise.

"I'm going to miss you," Pete hums, rubbing circles against the small of my back.

"I'm gonna miss you too."

"I'll call you every day, you know. I don't want to miss out."

"Whatever you want."

"And you can come over for Christmas if you'd like. And maybe some weekends Bronx and I can come over?" Pete's overly excited right now and it's wearing me out.

"If you want."

"Is something bothering you, Evelyn?" It's silent save for the sound of the heater vents releasing warm air into the room.

"No," I say, but in reality I'm really sad and I don't want him to go. But he knows this already so I feel like it's useless to tell him about it.

"Sweetheart," Pete says in that I know you're lying voice.

"I just don't want you to leave is all. But I've got work and you have stuff to take care of."

"I don't want to go. You're the only place that feels like home. Especially when you stare at me with those big green eyes and with your dark hair all crazy. I don't want to go when I trace your pale skin or when I see you smile. I don't want to leave the sleepy comfort of your voice and your kisses are enough to keep me rooted here for eternity. But everyone has to do things they don't want and it makes me feel a little better knowing you share and understand that pain."

"Pete," I breathe softly, my eyes brimming with tears. "How did I go so long without you?" I touch his face briefly before wiping a tear from my face. He looks like something straight from a dream. My eyes drift to the clock and now it's 4:17.

"I need a shower," Pete smiles a little sadly and sits up. He presses a kiss to my lips. "Man, do I love you." He ruffles my hair and walks into the bathroom. I feel around on the floor on his side of the bed to find my pajamas from this morning. When I do I slip them on and head to the bathroom to wash my face. Pete's whistling in the shower. Fucking whistling.

"Do you want pizza for dinner? I don't feel like going out." I say, pulling a brush through my hair.

"Sounds good!" Pete calls just as I'm leaving the room.

It's 5:29 now and Pete and I are devouring a pepperoni, sausage, and green pepper pizza, sitting on the counter in the kitchen. It makes me nostalgic for when we'd be home alone and my parents were out of town. They would always leave us pizza money and we always got the same thing from the same place. This tastes almost as good. Pete gives me a kiss on the cheek, pulling me out of my memories. He hops off of the counter. "Can I borrow your suitcase?" He asks, going up the stairs. "I'll get it back to you."

"Yeah, of course," I say, following him to my bedroom. I sit on the bed and watch him as he folds clothes and throws them into my suitcase. "You want this?" He asks, holding out his Stay Gold hoodie.

"Yeah."

He smiles and leaves it on my bed. I stay put on the bed and watch him pack, snagging a couple T-shirts.

"I won't have any clothes left if you keep taking them," he says, zipping the suitcase. "I'll have to walk around naked."

"Hey, I'm not complaining!"

Pete kisses me and it's slow and serious, offsetting the humor previously in his voice. "I love you Baby Girl," he whispers smiling a little. His voice is doing that thing where it sounds like molasses and honey. "No matter what I love you."

"I'm in love with you so bad," I grin, hugging him to me.

"The past two weeks have been so much fun and sad and really, really great. I have no doubt about loving you." Pete stands up and walks to the other side of the room. "We better get going soon," he mutters. "It's five after six."

"Six thirty, all right? Come here."

"Perfect," he murmurs, turning around to look at me. His eyes are a little watery and it makes me sad. "What?" He asks, sitting beside me. He sniffs a little, and I can see the tears lining his eyes. He's trying to act like it's nothing, staring down at the carpet.

"Nothing, Pete." I sigh, rubbing his back. My voice is just above a whisper."Why are you crying?"

"I'm not," he hiccups, rubbing his eyes.

"Pete," I say firmly. He pulls away from me, and the tears streaming down his face absolutely break my heart. I've never seen Pete so sad, so broken. His voice is a little hoarse when he speaks, clearing his throat.

"I don't know. I'm sad, okay? I'm just sad."

I wrap my arm around his shoulders and he rests his head against mine. I can't find the words to comfort him or help him. "Okay," I murmur, the word hanging heavily between us. "We'll be okay."