You're Magic

Pete's knocking on the door around ten fifteen. Honestly it feels like he's only been gone two minutes. "Evelyn?" He hums, walking into the room. Before he shuts the door I hear Bronx running around downstairs, the dogs following him. Pete sits on the edge of the bed. "Do you want to get up yet?" His voice is sweet and he's smiling.

"Uh, yeah," I nod, sitting up. "I'm gonna hop in the shower."

"Okay. The Gremlin's downstairs."

I smile at Pete before I get out of bed and grab some clothes. I kiss his forehead before I leave him in the bedroom to take a shower.

His bathroom is actually clean and I'm surprised. But then I think it's probably because he never uses it anyway. He has these little action figures of him, Patrick, Andy, and Joe standing by the bathtub and when I heard about that from Cribs I thought it was a joke. Apparently it wasn't. I scoop up the dolls and toss them on the floor in the corner of the bathroom before I turn the shower on.

I've always liked to take showers, if you want to know the truth. I think they're great for thinking and getting clean, obviously. They're so relaxing. Pete, on the other hand, hates them. He thinks they're a waste of time and they don't do anything for him.

That's just one of those weird Pete Things. Just like how he won't smoke but he likes the smell of cigarettes or he freaks out over how he's dressed and then just lets his hair run wild. Or how he tries to make me go to bed and he will only sleep for two hours. Or the fact that all he eats is junk food even though he's in his 30s. I don't know. They're just Pete Things.

In a half hour I'm in the kitchen eating yogurt and I can hear Pete in the next room talking."I have someone I want you to meet. She's a very special person. Okay?" And suddenly I'm faced with Pete and an adorable Baby Boy. His hair is blond and curly and his skin is pale and his eyes are blue. So blue.

Pete gives me a kiss and Bronx stares at me with his eyebrows crinkled just how his father would crinkle his own. "Bronx, this is Evie." Pete's petting Bronx's hair and he looks a little nervous as his son stares up at me.

I stoop down to Bronx's level and hold out my hand. He shakes it all loose and not really caring. "Hi, there." I smile.

"Hi." His voice is high-pitched and soft and quiet and he's clinging to Pete's leg, half hiding now. I stand up and Pete holds my hand in his.

"Evie's going to be seeing you a lot more," Pete tells Bronx. All he does is nod and Pete sighs. "Do you want something to eat? Is that why you're so quiet?" Bronx nods and Pete lets go of my hand to cut up an apple. The way he talks to Bronx while he cuts up the apple and how he's smiling makes my heart melt. "How about you go play in the living room?" Pete tells him, handing him a plastic baggie of apple slices. Bronx nods and trots out of the room.

Now Pete walks over to me and hugs me. My nose is buried in his neck and he smells like a mixture of laundry, cologne, and baby. He kisses my mouth before saying, "I want this to work, even if we're a million miles apart." His forehead is resting on mine and his eyes are closed and his voice is sad. The way he says it makes me depressed and mushy at the same time. I don't know what I can do to make him feel better. I just want to scoop him up and give him anything. I want to give him everything.

"I know that," I murmur against his mouth. "I want it to work, too."

But the thing is, I already have it planned out in my head that it's not going to work out at all. Like preparing myself now will take away some of the sting when it happens. And we'll both go back to living our lives. He'll have his band and marry a nice girl that I'll hate, and I'll be a journalist married to some business man. I've been convincing myself of this the entire time I've been talking to Pete again. It's how it will work, I've told myself.

Isn't that how it always works? Leaving me unhappy and feeling like I never stood a chance?

If I had it my way, it would have always been me and Pete.

I take a deep breath. "But I don't think it will work, Pete. I don't want to mess anything up again."

He pulls away to look at me and his face is a mixture of hurt and confusion. "What are you talking about, Evelyn?"

"I don't want this to be a repeat of last time. No fighting or yelling or screaming or leaving. I just want us to be happy. I know it's a selfish request, but it's all I want."

"I'm happy with you," Pete mumbles, looking down at the floor. He's not holding me anymore and we're just standing in the kitchen hovering in front of each other.

"And I'm happy with you, too. Unbelievably happy, okay? But I don't want something to go wrong. I don't want to hurt you or your Baby Boy."

"You would never hurt me or Bronx." Pete shakes his head. "Why would you ever say that? We'll be happy and we can be away from the world and everything will be okay." His voice is desperate. "The only way you could hurt me is by not giving us a chance." I know it's sappy, but it makes me smile.

I kiss Pete's mouth and I hug him, soothing him, telling him it'll be okay and that we'll take it one step at a time. I tell him he and Bronx are top priorities and that I don't want to ever hurt them.

"So, we're together?" Pete's smiling into my neck.

"Yeah, Pete. We're together." I smile and I'm holding his face in my hands. For once I feel a little less shitty. And then we stand there in the middle of the kitchen like idiots staring at each other with these dumb smiles plastered across our faces. Then Bronx is calling Pete and he's out of my arms and in daddy mode.