Save Me

It was June 13th, the day before my birthday, and I was at the Carnival in Orange County, California with my mother Tammie. I’m turning seventeen tomorrow and I really didn’t have anything planned for a party or anything. I mean, you’d think I’d have this big extravagant party with a shit ton of friends and all, but not even close. I was probably just going to hang out with my mother for the day and potentially just hang out around my house on the interwebs, most likely facebook and tumblr. I wish I had more going on but I wasn’t exactly what you’d call “popular” at school so I didn’t have any friends to invite over or hang out with. You see, I’m the outcast who likes to be by myself a lot of the time unless I need to be acquainted with somebody for a project or something. It doesn’t bother me too much for I usually am a loner in any situation.

I like being alone. I like my quiet.

Don’t get me wrong! I’m a really sweet girl who enjoys socializing with people and I like hanging out with others. I’m a Gemini, for God’s sake, so of course I do but I’ve been alone most of my life, so I’m used to it. I don’t have many friends so it doesn’t bother me to be alone a lot of the time. Of course, a lot of people are annoying and stupid, which is why I like my quiet and why I like to be alone.

My mother, Tammie, elbowed me in the ribs and handed me some yellow and blue cotton candy with a grin on her face. “It’s such a beautiful day today! Don’t you agree, honey?” she questioned, looking up at the sky through her tinted shades.

The temperature was around 78 degrees and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky but it was slightly breezy, which was relieving from the heat. “It is rather gorgeous, if I do say so myself.” I spoke with a grin on my face and I took the cotton candy from her, stuffing it into my mouth. We stopped walking to watch a couple clowns joking around and my mind began to wonder off but was quickly brought back when people started laughed and clapping.

I chewed on my bottom lip and looked over at my mother with a sighed. “Mom... What happened to dad?” I questioned sheepishly, ducking my head slightly.

She slowly looked over at me before sighing and shaking her head, “Jamie, hun, I’ve already told you this before.” She stared at me for a little bit before looking back at the clowns.

“I know.” I mumbled to her and shrugged my shoulders, “I want you to tell me again.”

She gave me a frustrated sighed and continued to watch the clowns, hoping I’d drop it in which I did, knowing this subject upset her.

My mom and my dad had known each other since first grade and practically fell in love with each other by the fifth grade. Cheesy sounding, I know, but that’s how my mother worded it when she told me a while back about how they met. They had dated throughout their highschool days and when my mom had gotten pregnant with me, my father left her – never speaking to her again. He didn’t give her any reason or notice that he was leaving, but just up and left out of the blue. My mom knew that neither of them were particularly ready to have a kid and she figured he walked out because he was scared, which I suppose was reasonable. Apparently, a few years ago he drunkenly drove out into oncoming traffic and got kill instantly when he got into a head on accident.

I’ve never seen a picture of my father nor do I even know his name. All I know about him is the simple little stories that my mother told me about him over the years and that it. It honestly hurts, you know, to not know anything about your father and to find out that you never will because he died in a car accident. It hurts to know that I’ll never find out why he walked away from my mom and why he didn’t want me. I wish I could’ve meet him before be passed away.

My mother looked over at me and sighed, giving me a sympathetic look. “Alright honey. I think it’s time to leave.” She led the way back to the parking lot and we climbed in. She started the car and began driving for the highway.

I leaned back in my seat, finally happy to be sitting down and happy to be out of the heat as the air conditioner began to blow on me. I had fun at the carnival, but the head was beginning to get unbearable.

“You know I don’t like to talk about your father.” My mom mumbled, not even looking over at me.

I knew that talking about my dad made her sad and even uncomfortable, which I why I didn’t bring it up often... I typically let her do it on her own, which happened a couple times. “I know.” Muttered with a sighed, “I get it.”

Soon enough, she pulled into the driveway of our house and cut the engine of the car. She looked over at me and frowned, “Sweetheart.”

“I don’t even know his name.” I mentioned, scrunching my face up and resting my hand on the side of my face.

“Please don’t start.”

I pursed my lips, obeying her, and nodded.

“I’m sorry.” She replied.

“Mom, I get it. It’s cool, don’t worry about it.” I told her, unbuckling my seatbelt and getting out of the car, closing my door. I walked up the pathway and stopped when I my mom got out of the car and called me name.

She walked over to me and sighed, nodding at me. “James.”

“What?” I questioned, making a face and furrowing my brows at her.

She chuckled at my response. “His name was James.”

“Oh.” I nodded and was silent for a second, “Do you miss him?”

She nodded her head and shrugged her shoulders, “Of course I miss him. He was my first love... He was my first everything.”

I pursed my lips and nodded at her, feeling slightly guilty that I was the one who drove him away. “Did you love him a lot?”

She only responded with a nod of her head.

“Well, that’s all my questions for today.” I mentioned, earning a chuckle from her. I walked up to the front door and unlocked it, opening it and walking inside with my mom following me. I walked over to the home phone as it began to ring and pressed it to my ear. “Dunn residence; Jamie speaking.”

“Jamie, girl! You’ll never guess!” I heard over the phone and chuckled.

“Shelby, you goober, why didn’t you just text me? What is it?” I asked.

“I tried but apparently somebody phone is off asked me out!” Shelly mentioned, “Anyway, Brett asked me out.”

“About time” I smiled, “I’ve watched the both of you crush on each other for the past three years.

“God, I know, right? Anyway, get your ass over here and help figured out what I’m to wear!”

“Alright, I’ll be right there” I hung up and grabbed my keys. “Mamma, I’m gonna go to Shelby’s house for a little while.” I mentioned, turning and looking at my mom.
“Alright, be safe.” She said told me sitting on the couch and letting out an exhausted sigh.

I walked to the door “Always am.”

I walked into the door and closed it behind me. “Ayee, I’m home. Mom?” I looked at the note on the table beside me and read it.



I rolled my eyes and crumbled the note up, tossing it back onto the table and heading up the stairs. I greeted my dog Flea with a pat on the top of his head when I reached the top of the stairs and then walked into me room, closing the door behind me. I grabbed my laptop and hopped onto my bed, opening up the internet and opening a normal tabs.



I opened my eyes and saw my mom standing there with a gigantic smile on her face as she began t chant “Happy Birthday”.

“Ugh. Too early mom!” I groaned and pulled a pillow over my face.

“Come on, get up! Come downstairs!” My mom pulled the covers off of me and removed the pillow from me face.

I moaned and got off the bed, following my mother down the stairs and into the kitchen. I rubbed my eyes and over to the coffee maker and cocked my eyebrow, noticing there was already some coffee made.

“I made some coffee for you, obviously.” She chuckled.

I grabbed a coffee mug and filled it with some coffee and then added some creamer and three scoops of sugar. I walked over to the table and yawned, resting the side of my face on the table. “What time is it?”

“Ten fifteen.”

A loud slamming noise happened in front of me and I immediately jerked my head away, seeing a small sized box in front of me. “Mom!” I whined, “I said not to make a big deal out of this.”

“Oh, sheesh. I’m not making a big deal out of this. It’s a simple little picture for goodness sake.” She grinned.

I slowly tore the wrapping paper off of the box and pulled out the picture frame that was it in. it held a picture of me and my mother that we had taken together while on the beach during summer last year. “Aw.” I grinned and looked up at her, “I love it, thank you.”

“I knew you would.” She chuckled at me and nodded, “Go hang it up.”

I stood up and walked over to her, pulling her into a hug before grabbing the frame and taking off up the stairs and into my room. I set the frame on my dresser beside the three other frames that I had there that were also picture of me and my mom. I rather enjoyed having all of these pictures of me and my mom. I liked our friendship and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.