The Only Thing I Ask

Leana looked down on her ring finger. There was a red and black tattoo all around at the bottom. She read it; JAMES. She rubbed it softly. It was a promise. Just another broken promise. Then all of a sudden she rubbed it quickly and roughly, as though she wanted them to vanish. Tears were falling down her cheeks. She can’t make them disappear now. Just like her memory of him. She can’t make them disappear. She wished that she could but she can’t.

Jude - Zoey’s dad - came into her life like a fairytale. Everything seemed perfect but she had always known it. She knew that sooner or later her husband will leave her. Working in that line of job, he’d risk everything.

But James Owen Sullivan was a rock star. He didn’t have to worry about him being shot on duty, didn’t have to fight in a war, he was perfectly safe. Leana gave her heart to him, led him into her life with her daughter and yet he left without saying goodbye.

“Miss MacFadden, you have visitors.”

She turned around. Her heart leapt immediately seeing six people were standing in her doorway. She ran towards them. One of the guests was holding Zoey, her daughter that she hadn’t seen for nearly a month.

Michelle immediately let Zoey go and the child went running to her mother right after her feet touched the ground. Brian watched with a heavy heart as his god-daughter cried into Leana’s arms. Honestly, all of their hearts broke seeing her like this. She was admitted to a psychiatric ward not long after Jimmy’s funeral because of her depression and they only can visit her once a month.

The guys had all volunteered to be Zoey’s godfathers while Valerie and Matt were more than happy to take care of the child while Leana recovers from her condition.

“Hush little baby don’t say a word, mommy’s gonna buy you a mocking bird.” Leana sang to Zoey but she cried even harder.

“Oh, you know that song?”

She paused.

“What do you mean everybody knew that song? I only sang it to my baby when she woke up in the middle of the night. Were you stalking me?”

She paused again.

“Oh James, you’re so funny!” she laughed.

Michelle couldn’t stop her tears from flowing, watching her friend like this. They were all Jimmy’s best friends, but Leana was the love of his life. She was the most devastated. She started talking to herself, or she claimed – an apparition of Jimmy – just weeks after Jimmy’s death. They couldn’t do anything. She was half-awake all the time. She’d always assumed that Jimmy was still alive and he was with her at all times.
Brian put his arm around Michelle. He had to be strong. He didn’t want to break down like Leana. He still has Michelle in his life and the band. Their friendship will not end with Jimmy’s passing away.

“Dude, I’m done recording demo for this song.”
“DEATH?”
“Yea, that’s what I’m gonna call it. You have a problem with it?”
“No. Not at all. If you’re into eerie shit like that, then I don’t fucking mind at all.”
“Hah. I knew you would say that. Then I’m going to change it.”
“To what?”
Jimmy pulled his tshirt up. It revealed a tattoo on his chest, written down across and along his belly.
“FICTION?”
“Yeah. My last song. That’s it. That’s the last song I’m going to record!”

Brian closed his eyes. How can he not see Jimmy was already saying goodbye before? How can they miss all the hints and signs of him going away? If he knew something like this would happen, he would’ve stayed sober that night. He would not have taken the dare challenge and just hung out with him all night. So that he could still see his face when the sun rise and help him through his suffering.

He felt a grip in his hand, and he opened his eyes to see Michelle was looking at him. Her eyes were red from crying so much. He looked around. All of them too, sobbed watching Leana like that. They did this on every visit although they’ve only been here three times.

*****************************************************************************************************

Brian watched from afar as Michelle and Valerie played with Zoey. Matthew’s house had become family-oriented instantly after he got married. There were toys everywhere, his walls had scribbles on them and there were childish alphabetic fridge magnets on his fridge now. Sometimes the magnets spelled something offensive like ASS-HOLE or MOTHAFUCKA and usually it was Brian’s fault. Depends on the alphabet count. Valerie always mad at him for doing that.

He drank his beer and stared at his fiancée intently. After Jimmy’s death, he had second thoughts about marriage. He didn’t tell anyone because usually things like this he would only tell Jimmy. Don’t get him wrong, he loved Michelle to death. They have been through a lot in their relationship. His trust issues, his ego and selfishness, Michelle’s secretive ex-boyfriend who happened to be an asshole of a famous rock star, and now this – the lost of their best friend.

It all made him think again, did he really want this? Life is so short, does he sure he wanna do this?

“Yo dude. You could drill a hole into her head.”

Brian winced in his seat. He glanced over his shoulder; Matthew joined him in with a beer in his hand.

“What are you thinking about?” Matthew sipped his beer as he too watched his wife and Michelle playing with the little girl.

“Just Michelle.” He stared at her again. She laughed softly when Zoey handed her some toys to play with.

Matthew rolled his eyes. “Just get married already. You’re obviously crazy about her.”

Brian smirked. Yeah he is crazy about her. But is he crazy enough to marry her?

“How does it feel to be married?” he asked, looking at Matthew who was now struggling with the TV remote.

“Hm? Oh, marriage. Best thing ever, if you found the right person.”

“Well, doesn’t everyone say that?”

“They’re right. At the first week of marriage you wouldn’t feel anything different. It’s as though you’re still just dating her. But then, you’ll see her everytime you open your eyes. In your kitchen, in your living room, lying next to you. You’ll see her toothbrush next to yours, her perfumes lined up on top of your dresser, your clothes clean, and your food’s ready-”

“That was like having a maid. Except for that lying next to you and the toothbrush parts. That would be weird if maids do that.”

Matthew laughed. “Dude, my fucking point is, soon you realize you’re not alone in your life anymore. You have someone else to share things, share your feelings. Talk about your problems or your happy moments, whatever. You’ll feel protective, you wanna secure, that little feelings. Best feeling ever.”

Brian raised his eyebrows at him. “What happen to you dude? You’ve gone soft.”

Matthew laughed again. He was glad Brian can joke again. After Jimmy died, Brian just seemed lifeless. He didn’t even bother to answer anyone’s question and sometimes he cried watching comedy shows. But mostly he just stared at the floor, at the ceiling, or even at random things like Pinkly’s collar.

“I’m just sayin, man. If you feel that she’s the right one, just get on with it.”

Brian took a deep breath and continued to watch Michelle. She was already eyeing him, so when she was caught looking, she bit her lip and quickly looked away. Brian chuckled to himself. Nowadays she was being cute around him, like she had fallen in love with him all over again, but too shy to admit it. He got up from his seat and went over to her.

She was sitting on the floor, with Zoey playing blocks in front of her. Valerie left them alone and went over to Matthew when she saw Brian was heading towards them. Brian stood beside Michelle. She looked up slowly. Their eyes met, her heart pumped fast.

Michelle had no idea why, over the past few weeks she was falling in love with Brian all over again. She was already in love, but this time it made her heart flutter just by catching him looking at her. Probably because of their lack of togetherness - after Jimmy passed Brian had always been alone, and she too weren’t ready to face the real world. They both separated themselves for a while and only met at the ceremony of them being the godfathers of Zoey.

She missed him but too afraid to admit it. She missed his touch. But they were both too sad to even initiate anything. And now, three months later, her heart leapt again seeing him.

He sat down on the floor too, his eyes still watching her.

“Hi.” He greeted.
Michelle blushed and quickly turned her gaze away to Zoey.
“Hi.” But she replied him anyway.

He leaned down, his head tilted to the side trying to catch her eyes again. He looked silly doing that. When he finally caught her looking, he smiled brightly, showing his teeth.

“What are you doing, Haner?” she slapped him on his thigh and laughed nervously.
“Looking at you.”
“What are you looking at me for?”
“Because you’re an amazing view.”
Her cheeks went red after that. She felt hot all of a sudden. Brian was being flirty again, like the first time they went on a date at the beach.
“Well aren’t you a charmer?”
“Aren’t you beautiful?”
She stunned. His smooth reply made her flutter even more. She beamed at him, even bit her lip nervously.
“God knows that is my one and only weakness right now.”
She looked at him, eyes widened but still biting her lower lip.
“Come here, let me bite that.”
He took her face with both of his hands and tugged her lower lip softly with his teeth. He pulled away for just a mere inch to look into her green eyes. He was swimming deep into that green ocean, while she was drowning in his brown piercing stare.

Both of them breathed hard, and forgot that they were sitting in front of an innocent child, and in somebody else’s home. He crashed his lips onto hers and he immediately convinced that she is the right one for him. This woman had him begging for more, made him seduced and flirted, made him opened up, turned him into a raging jealous bastard and moreover made him into a complete man.

Michelle begged for his kiss to go even deeper and harder. They hadn’t kissed like this for a long while, after Jimmy’s death. They only shared a brief kiss on the cheek or on closed lips.

“Good God, go get a room you guys! Zoey is watching!”

They pulled apart suddenly, their mouths wet and dripping a little. Brian smiled, ignoring Valerie’s nagging. Michelle wiped the traces of her lip gloss on his lips and smiled back.
Brian stood up abruptly, but dragging Michelle along. His pulse was racing.

“Guys, we’re going home first. We’re gonna fuck. Tell the others we said hi.” Brian casually and lazily muttered before he ran out, taking Michelle by the wrist.

“Uh, sorry we can’t stay for dinner!” Michelle yelled from afar as her body was being pulled away by Brian.

Valerie who was holding Zoey in her arms, rendered speechless. Her mouth dropped open in shock. She hadn’t had the chance to cover Zoey’s ears as Brian used offensive word around her. Matthew on the other hand just laughed watching them go.

“That asshole. Smooth as fuck.”

******************************************************************************************************

“Michelle, let’s get married.”

Her eyes widened when Brian suddenly emerged from sucking her breasts, but his hands still busy kneading and pulling. His hips stopped thrusting for a bit. She was gasping for air, but then he slammed into her again, without giving a chance for her to reply.

“I- want - to marry you - so much.” He claimed as he thrust harder and faster.

She can only scream, as he took her to the edge of pleasure. Her hands gripped tight on the headboard, her legs wrapped around his muscular body.

“Yes baby – let’s get married.” She panted. But then screamed again with one large slam from him and he went stiff as he released himself inside her.

It was a quick and hurry sex, but it was the best she ever had with him.

“But aren’t you guys busy? We haven’t pick out a date yet.” She asked as her breathing gone slower and he eased himself out to lie next to her.
“All tours were cancelled. We’ve yet to release our new album by the end of this year. In the meantime, we can get married.”
“Are you sure you wanna do this?”
He looked up to her, who was leaning on the headboard.
“There’s nothing more that I wanted.”
She gleamed back at him. She can already picture Valerie’s excitement in finding dresses for her. Her heart dropped a little, remembering Brian’s missing best man. Her facial expression fell.
“A penny for your thoughts?”
She smiled again, and took his face in her hands.
“I’m gonna be the best wife you’ve ever had.”
He smirked. “I’ve never had a wife, but go on.”
“I’ll cook for you, clean for you, blow your wood every morning,”
Brian raised his eyebrows. “Tempting.”
“Have your children.”
His eyes searching for hers, convincing himself that he wanted children in their life. He loved Zoey and just by watching her, can make his heart melt.
“I want a little Brian Haner Jr.” he scrunched up his nose and Michelle kissed the tip of it.
“As many as you want.”
He grinned widely, showing his fanged teeth before he devoured her lips again.

******************************************************************************************************

“Brian, I still feel that electricity between us from the first time we met. I promised to never let it fade away. From this day onwards, I take you as my husband, my best friend, my possessive bastard, and promise to love you, hold you, and take care of you in sickness or in health, for as long as we both shall live.”

“Michelle, I was a lost cause when I met you. You showed me the way, you bring the light in my life that I could never replace it with anything. Starting today, from this moment onwards, I take you as my loving wife, my best friend, my other half, my missing puzzle piece, and promise to love you, and hold you, in sickness or in health, for as long as we both shall live.”

Brian and Michelle united in a perfect kiss after they were pronounced that they are now husband and wife. She was wearing a beautiful strapless white flowy gown while Brian looked exceptionally handsome in his black tuxedo, without his bowtie. His hair was combed back and it made him look even hotter than he already was. The crowd applauded watching them.

Matthew stood by Brian, being the best man and his wife, Valerie became the maid of honor. Leana was also there, as she was recovering and became Michelle’s bridesmaid along with Tona. They wore beautiful strapless turquoise dress with diamond glitter at the bottom part of it.

Outside, it was a beautiful spring garden reception, themed with white roses. Zacky was on stage with Matthew, they were performing Dear God acoustically, a song that meant a lot to Brian and Michelle. They danced slowly to the song. Brian sang along softly, only she can hear him. Her heart still pounded fast when he touched the small of her back and shivers were sent down her spine when he kissed her neck occasionally throughout the song.

“I wish Jimmy was here.” Michelle muttered under her breath. It was actually a taboo topic for Brian but today he didn’t feel that way. He felt like Jimmy was actually looking down at them, and smiling.
“He’s here, baby. Somewhere in our hearts.”
Brian looked up.

Thank you for the light, Jim.

He said towards the clear blue sky.

Anytime, bro.