How I Cheated Death

Being pulled from my deep slumber I felt the familiar lips brush against mine to wish me a good-morning like every other. I opened my eyes to find his staring deeply back into mine. All the memories of last night came back to me in a wave of serenity. The dancing, the laughter, the love I felt for this boy.
"Good-morning," I managed to mutter between stretches.
Once I was relaxed once again Justin scooped me into his arms and we just laid there for a while, neither one of us talking. Moments like this were my favorite, when we could enjoy the silence together.
"Yesterday was so amazing Tara, thank you for going with me. I didn't expect any of this to happen the way that it did," were the next words that came out of his mouth.
"I didn't think it would play out like this either.."
"So are we back together or are you still going to keep me hanging?"
I had to think for a moment considering all the previous arguments we'd had and how he'd been seeing his ex while we weren't together. Originally we were supposed to go to prom as friends and friends only, until in one of our pictures he took my face in his hands and kissed me. I was thinking of doing the same thing only he carried out the actions. I loved Justin, he was everything to me. So my only reply could be, "can I ponder on this a little longer? I promise to have an answer for you soon, I just have a lot on my mind.."
I could see the disappointment in his face not only because I could recognize it but I'd put that look on his face several times in our months of knowing each other, "I guess so, but I'm not going to wait around forever, Tara."
"I know, I just have a lot on my mind right now.."
What I didn't expect for him to just sigh and pull me closer and we both just closed our eyes and drifted off to get a couple more hours of sleep before I had to go home.

~~~~~

The next time I awoke I was alone.
Had I really hurt his feelings in telling him that I didn't want to give him an answer right away?
I know last night was full of kisses and holding each other close while dancing and twirling around at our high school prom but I wasn't sure if I was 100% sure if I wanted to try this again.
I tucked the thoughts into the back of my head and swung my legs over the bed and looked around the room.
My dress was on the back of the chair in the corner and I was wearing on of his larger t-shirts that he usually kept around for me to sleep in. His suit and dressings were scattered on the dresser and nothing else looked out of the ordinary. The last thing I recall before crawling into bed was him unlacing my corset and stepping out of the dress only to have his arms around me in an embrace I'd never had from him before. I'd never felt this much love radiate off of him like I'd felt last night. He pulled me into bed and covered my face with kisses and just held me close until we drifted off.
I stood up and pulled on the extra pair of jeans I'd packed the day before because I knew I would end up staying over. I grabbed up my bag and quickly walked into the bathroom that was right beside his room and shut the door. I pulled out my toothbrush and brushed my teeth while checking my still-curled hair for any knots. I might as well have kept my curls because it still looked as good as when the stylist had done them the day before.
I grabbed a washcloth and ran some cold water over it and held it to my face. My mom had always told me it was some old Irish remedy so I've been doing it ever since I was younger.
I dried off my face, applied a little mascara, and put the toiletries back in the bag.
I dropped my bag into his floor and went off to find Justin. I stopped in the doorway of the living room and seen everyone was surprisingly awake and happy this morning. Stacy, his sister, looked up and me from the floor beside the couch and asked, "want to go with me to get breakfast?"
"Well yeah! Where we gonna go?"
"Bojangles, where else?" She was quite tickled at that.
I looked in his direction and he looked kind of lost and wasn't paying much attention. I kissed him on the forehead, "we'll be back soon."
"I know," was all he said and we were out the door.
I knew she was about to bombard me with questions about how the night went and if I had any advice for her first prom the nest year so I'd actually prepared myself on the walk to the car.
Surprisingly she didn't ask many questions about it, prom that is.
"So does this mean you're gonna be part of the family again?" She looked over and smiled her toothy grin at me.
All I could manage back was a half smile and a "we'll see, it all depends on how the cards are dealt this time around."
"He really does love you, ya know. He just has a funny way of showing it if he's showing it at all."
"I know he does, Stace, trust me. I just have a lot on my plate right now with the whole him and Ashley thing. I'm sure you understand."
"I do, I just think you shouldn't hold that grudge forever. Ya'll are meant to be together."
After that was said all I could do was give a few moments of silence. I'm not sure how many times I've heard that phrase about he and I in the months we've been together. Apparently we were the only people that would put up with each other's bullshit and still loved each other afterwards.
"Is Pher coming over soon?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm going to pick him up while everyone else is eating breakfast." She smiled as she answered, the mood in the car instantly lightening. Then she went on about telling me how long they'd been together now and how she thought he was the one. I kind of scoffed at the thought of there truly being a "one" for somebody. But then I had to reconsider my comments because she and I were totally different people.
"I hope everything turns out great for you guys." was my last wish to her.
We pulled up to the drive-thru and ordered everyone's food. The girl on the intercom sounded like an idiot. We had to correct her a few times because she'd choose the wrong things on the order-point inside. I know Stacy and I had deep southern accents, but I know people can understand us.
After we got our food and made sure everything was in the bag we were on our way back to the house.
After a few moments of listening to the radio and jammin' out, she turned the volume knob down and said, "no matter what happens with you two I still love you like my own sister and momma loves you like one of her own."
"I know Stacy, I love you guys as well." The thought of actually having people that loved me made me feel better.

~~~~~

"You two gonna come to the Harley Davidson store with us?" Tracy asked as we were finishing up breakfast and our joking around with each other.
"It's all up to Tara if she wants to go, I'm not sure when her mom wants her to be home." Justin answered.
I piped up, "it's okay, I don't think mom would care, I could just tell her we wanted to rest a few before I came home."
Tracy smiled and replied "good, you can see the new bike Stanley wants to get."
Stanley is Tracy's husband. They've been together for a few years now and I hear amazing stories about them all the time. They hardly fight and they've got to have one of the best relationships I've ever seen parents have.
"Now if only Stacy and Pher would get their butts here so we can head out!" she went on about how Stacy was never on time for anything and right on cue we heard the doors to her Mustang shut and the front door open.
"Do you care if I drive my car up there instead of us all pile up in your car, momma?" Justin asked.
"No, that's fine. Whatever you feel would make you more comfortable."
"All right, we'll just follow you up there and I'll just take her home afterwards," he spat. He got up and walked out of the living room.
After a few minutes of sitting there and listening to his family talk I got up and followed the direction he walked off in. I found him laying in his bed on his back with his arm over his eyes, like he does when he's frustrated.
"Knock, knock," I joked and I moved to sit on the bed beside him. I put my hand on his chest and asked, "you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind." Then he sat up and put a wall up between us that wasn't there this morning.
That was his biggest problem, always putting up walls that didn't need to exist.
"Oh." was all I could say and I got the notion that he was uncomfortable so I grabbed his hand and said, "look, last night was amazing and if it's any constellation it helped your case tremendously. I didn't agree to be your prom date to just be your friend and then not talk to you again afterwards, I had hopes of fixing this too. But you have to work with me on this instead of shut me off, Justin."
"It's hard to work with you on this when all you want to do is just think about it," he scoffed.
"Look, I'm sorry I don't just want to jump into this again, I want to take things at a different pace than before. Forgiveness isn't just an apology and what you're apologizing for isn't ever thought of again."
"You're right. I don't know how many times I have to say I'm sorry and I don't know how long you're going to punish me but I love you Tara and I want you to know that."
"I love you as well Justin. We'll talk about this later, at my place, where there's less pressure, okay?"
"Fine." He answered and Tracy walked in and asked if we were ready to go.