Pain

The trees were in their Autumn beauty as I walked by the side of the lake, thinking of her. Today she was supposed to stay with her boyfriend since it was their one year anniversary but instead of that, she called me and asked if she could meet me in one hour.

I was really tired thanks to the work that had built up in the office but still, I wasn’t able to decline. After hearing her sweet voice on the phone, I wanted to be with her so much that it burned my heart sweetly, and I accepted without any second thoughts. I grabbed a bite at the office and then left to meet her, not bothering to step to my house first to get out of that black suit.

Under the October twilight; the water mirrored a still sky. The twenty-sixth Autumn had already come upon me since I first counted, and hers was only the seventeenth. The age never made a difference in our friendship for she had the mind of a mature adult. She was smarter than most women around my age by far and that made her the perfect woman in my eyes. I was old enough to know that no one was perfect but she had managed to make me love her flaws as well. She was the most important person in my life and I wanted to keep it that way.

I kept walking as I watched the leaves leaving the trees and falling on the ground. The cold air of the season, as well as the couples walking hand in hand made me wish I was holding her soft hand, intertwining my long fingers with her slender ones. The scene unfolded in my mind like most of my forbidden dreams, and only the thought of looking deep into her light brown eyes as she stared back into my dark brown ones, made me smile to myself.

I kept walking with small steps as I thought of what she might have to say. It was possibly something that had to do with her anniversary and her boyfriend. I was really glad that I was always the one she turned to, the one she could depend on for everything. Even if she wasn’t mine as a lover, she was by my side as my best friend and that had to be enough for now. I loved her so much that I wished for her happiness more than mine. If she was happy with that guy, then I was happy for her.

‘’Stephan,’’ her voice called to me, and I looked to my left seeing her walking quickly towards me. Her black coat hugged her curvy figure nicely as her straight, long, brown hair danced along with the wind. Her steps sounded heavy against the ground thanks to the black boots she wore.

‘’He broke up with me,’’ She whispered once her head was against my chest and her hands went around my waist. My left hand went around her waist while with the other one I caressed the top of her head like I would if she was my child. We stayed like that for a few minutes till she pulled away and walked towards the nearest bench, with me following close behind her.

‘’What happened?’’ I asked wanting to know why he would do this to her on their anniversary. I was so angry and so sad, as I watched her tears spilling one after another. She was the most understanding and kind woman I have ever known, why would any man leave her when he should have cherished her feelings? She was a pure, beautiful creature that I loved beyond imagination, and I hated seeing tears running from my angel’s eyes.

‘’He never loved me in the first place, he just wanted to sleep with me because of a bet,’’ she said and I was ready to go find him and break his bones one by one before I heard her voice again, ‘’don’t do anything crazy Stephan. He’s not worth it!’’

I didn’t reply to her but she knew I’d do everything she asked. I‘d never do something she didn’t want or something to hurt her. She was precious and I didn’t want to lose her for any reason or anyone. I just stayed there watching her cry and it broke my heart to pieces, a million small pieces. She loved someone who didn’t love her back and I knew the feeling all too well, since I had been there myself for the past two and a half years.

By the time we left, her eyes were swollen and her tears had dried. I secretly hoped that was the last time she cried, but I knew it was impossible for we are humans after all. We walked beside each other while talking about the funny times we had together and my mind played the memories like scenes from movies on my mind. She was smiling again, forgetting her pain for a while and that brought a smile on my face. At least I had brought the missing smile back on her face.

And more than anything else, I wanted to be by her side forever…even as a friend.