Therapy

That night, when I went to bed, all I could think about was the scars that I saw on Alex's wrist. Not only were they deep, but they looked recent. I hadn't said anything to him because I was afraid he would yell at me, but I really wish I had. What if he does it again? What if I could have stopped it? Ugh, I hate myself.
I miss my sister and brother. I wish I was still back at home in my own bed, not here in this cold, dull building with a bunch of people I hadn't even known for more than 24 hours.
I sighed and rolled over onto my side, hoping I could get some sleep. I'm really grouchy when I don't sleep. I quickly prayed to god that tomorrow would be a better day than today was.

"Jack It's time to get up, we have to shower and be ready for breakfast in less than an hour!" Zack yelled in my ear, shaking me violently. I groaned and rolled over onto my side and opened my eyes to look at the clock. 8:09 am. "Zack why on earth do we have to be up at 8:00?!" I complained, hoping that if I kept refusing to get up he would go away.
"Because life sucks that's why, now get your lazy ass up before I drag you out of the bed!" Zack threatened jokingly. I sighed and pushed my self up to a sitting position before getting out of the bed. I'm so not a morning person.
Thank god for shower curtains. If it weren't for them all of us guys would all be showering together in one big room. But luckily we have curtains separating us, so we don't see each other's junk. I don't need or want to see that.
After I showered I threw on my favorite Blink 182 t-shirt and a pair of navy blue sweatpants. I don't like wearing skinny jeans because they make my legs look disgustingly large.
I tried my best not to look horribly miserable as I walked out into the meeting room with Zack. Hayley saw me and grinned, immediately heading over to me, quickly followed by Jenna. "Good morning sleepy head, how'd ya sleep?" She asked, ruffling my hair playfully. "Not bad actually" I replied. This was true, I had honestly slept pretty well for the first time in a while. Just then the warm grin that had been plastered across Hayley's face quickly disappeared. I turned around to see Alex walking in with Tony. He looked like hadn't slept in days, and he was wearing a large grey hoodie with matching baggy sweats. He looked like he'd just made a drug deal.
"Woah what the fuck is up with you Gaskarth?" Beau asked, laughing loudly at the poor boy. Alex sighed, then looked down at the ground. "I don't feel well" He muttered, his voice lacking any sort of emotion. Before Beau could respond, Tony stepped in front of Alex defensively.
"Guys leave him alone, he's had a rough night, now go back to your stupid conversations and leave him be" Tony hissed, crossing hims arms across his chest firmly. Alex said something that sounded like a Thank you, but was too quiet for me to actually hear.
Alana came in and said it was time for breakfast.

Breakfast went somewhat better than dinner had. I ate half a piece of toast, and a couple bites of an apple. Nobody said anything about me not eating much, but I could tell everyone was aware of it.
After breakfast we all met up in the meeting room to discuss what the rest of the day was going to be like.
"Since you've all been pretty good this week, Dr. Thomas and I have decided to let you guys have the day to yourselves" Alana informed us, receiving cries of "Yes!" and "Thank you!" from almost everyone in the room. I know how I planned on spending the rest of the day. Sound asleep in my bed. Just then I turned around to see Hayley running over to me
"What are you going to do for the rest of the day?" She asked excitedly, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. "Sleep" I replied matter of factly, earning a frown from her. "That's lame as fuck!" She cried, putting on her best pouty face. "I'm lame as fuck" I smirked, and before she could continue her argue, I turned and headed to my room.
When I got into my room, I turned on my Blink 182 CD and laid down on my bed. I had only been here for less than a day emotionally drained. I was in seriously need of a good nap.
But, just as I felt my self beginning to fall asleep, I heard a knock on my door. I groaned, pressing my face into a pillow. "Come in" I muttered into my pillow, hoping the person wouldn't hear me and would just go away. I heard the door open, and I rolled over to see Alex standing in the middle of my room.
"Hey, can we talk?" He muttered, his hands rubbing together shyly. I tried to look him in the eyes, but he was staring at the ground intently. "Yeah" I whispered, motioning for him to come sit down next to me on the bed. He slowly walked over to me, plopping himself down and the bed before turning to face me. "I just want to apologize for being so arrogant" Alex blurted out, scratching his head nervously. He sounded genuinely sorry, and I felt bad that he had gotten so worked up over the whole situation. I hate it when people pity me.
"It's fine Alex, people were bound to find out anyway" I assured him, giving him a weak smile. He returned the smile before speaking again. "But you're right, I don't know shit about you, and I'd kind of like to change that" He added hopefully. He was honestly so adorable. No. No he wasn't. Being gay is wrong. But It didn't mean we couldn't be friends. "I'd like that".

*ALEX'S POV*
It had been a week since since Jack first arrived at St. Maria's, and since then we had pretty much became inseperable. Jack was the same age as me, but I was 6 months and 4 days older than him. He had two siblings, a brother and a sister, and he happened to live about 15 minutes away from my house. He began to let his guard down to reveal the fun loving, carefree wild side of him. He was still struggling with eating, but I was trying everything I could do to help him through it. He still didn't know about my self harm problem. And I didn't plan on telling him anytime soon.
I was undeniable crushing on the boy. I couldn't let him know how really fucked up I was. He would never speak to me again if he knew all the things I had done. I just wanted him all to myself. But I'm pretty sure he's straight. He's always talking to the other girls in the program, and I'm pretty sure he has a crush on Hayley.
Or maybe i'm just paranoid. I haven't felt this way about anyone since Lisa left me, and I'm not sure If I'm ready to be in a relationship again. But I had an idea.
When Jack walked up to me after lunch, I knew what I had to do. "Hey Alex!" He exclaimed, grinning warmly at me. I returned the grin before responding to him. "Jack, since we have 30 minutes before rest hour, can we go back to my room and talk?" I asked, hoping to god that he would say yes. "Uh... sure" Jack replied nervously, giving me a questioning look. He was obviously confused.
"Don't worry, I'm not mad at you, I just want to talk" I assured him as we walked to my room. When we entered my room, I let out a sigh of relief due to the fact that Tony wasn't there. I needed to be alone with Jack for this.
I plopped down on my bed before motioning for Jack to join me. He sat down on the edge of my bed awkwardly, adjusting the blankets so they were just covering his feet. He was so fucking cute, I just wanted to lean over and kiss his stupid face.
"So, uh, what did you want to talk about?" Jack asked, his face full of curiosity. I smiled, and scooted a little closer to the younger boy.
"Jack, I need to tell you something. And it's going to be kind of awkward, but I need to get it out of my system. Jack, I like you a lot" I finally admitted, smiling warmly at Jack. He returned the smile before responding to me. "I like you too Alex, you're a great friend!" He exclaimed. I rolled my eyes at how oblivious the kid was. "No Jack, I mean I like like you. Like I have a crush on you" I explained to him.
The smile that had been plastered on his face slowly faded away. "Alex, that's not right. You can't like me. It's wrong" He muttered, looking down at the floor. Wait was he serious? Did he seriously not like me back? No one has ever not liked me back! "Why is it wrong?" I asked, touching his arm lightly. He quickly pulled his arm away before responding to my question.
"Alex being gay is against the bible. I don't like you like that. I'm sorry" He muttered, before standing up and hurrying out of my room.