When Love Is Lost.

The worst part about dying is knowing that people are going to forget your name. They quit thinking about you eventually, and they dry their eyes and move on. Occationally they remember the way you smiled, the way you laughed, or the way you'd fall asleep in their arms. It's a natural fact of life. When someone dies, the world doesn't stop spinning on it's axis, the seasons do not fail to change, and the sun does not refuse to shine the next morning. People wake up day by day, slow and sadly forgetting about you, and you can't stop that. You just have to sit back and watch, as people begin to forget about you.

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Taking seats at the movies was hectic, each person wanting to sit beside someone else, and then making someone move over. It was like we were playing musical chairs, while receiving amused looks from everyone in the movie theatere. After we were finally settled, from left to right, Zayn, Heather, Niall, Jani, Me, Harry, Louis, and then Liam, all began to get ready for the movie. The previews began with everyone constantly saying, "I wanna see that!", or "That was so bad ass!" everytime an action stunt was preformed. The movie began. Harry tried to play it cool. He yawned, stretching, placing his arm behind my back. I laughed, and leaned into his side. He smelled of clean laundry detergent, and mint, the smell inveloped my nose, causing me to smile, hugely at him. His arm was muscular, and enticingly warm. I turned my head slightly at his ear, simply stating, "You know the last guy that did that move accidently elbowed me in the temple?" This caused him to bust into laughter. His laugh was so warm, so kind-hearted, it was a laugh that would help a person on their dying bed, get up and moon-walk out of there.

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A little more than halfway through the movie, my stomach lurched. I could feel the vomit threatening to come out of my nose if I kept trying to calm myself to not vomit on Harry's overly worn out brown boots. "I'm going to the bathroom." I announced, getting up and making a bee-line for the bathroom. I ran to the first stall, barely making it before my stomach convulsed, and heaved. I stayed there on the bathroom floor. I heard the door open, as Jani knocked on my stall door, and ased, "You've been in here for 15 minutes, I'm just checking to make sure you're not dead." She laughed as the words spilled out of her mouth. Yeah, you'll be doing a lot of that over the next few months, maybe year. I opened the door half way, peeking my head out. She pushed the door open, I believe trying to use the bathroom when I realized out of my stupidity I'd forgotten to flush the puke that was in the toilet. She looked at it, then back at me. "Are you pregnent or something? Did I miss something?" She asked plainly a smile threathening her lips.
"We can talk about this later. I'm really going through Loki withdrawls, I've gotta get me a piece of that." I stated finding an excuse to leave. I found my way through the theatere popping a piece of gum into my mouth, and back to my seat. Harry instantly looked at me with his emerald green orbs. His eyes displayed the most abundant amount of concern, as I took my place beside him. His arm snaking its way around my shoulder, bringing a smile to my lips. He smiled, leaning into my ear. "I thought you might of fallen into the toilet." He said in his adorabley thick british accent. His voice was like honey, sticky and sweet. I was stuck on every word he said. Breathing his scent was like the ultimate high, that I never wanted to come down from. It made me what to just roll around in his laundry for possibly the rest of my life(If that doesnt make me sound weird I dont know what will).
"I'm just fine, back and better than ever, if you must know." I smiled at him one last time before turning my attention back to the movie before me. Jani finally had returned to her seat, finding her seat beside Niall, whose arm, just like Harry's had wrapped around her shoulder, drawing circles into her upper arm. The smile that rested on her lips was enough to tell me that she was enjoying Niall's attention.

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The movie ended and the boy's were louder than ever, talking about their favorite parts, and characters.
"Kile, It's only three o'clcok! Lets go back to your house, and invite the boys. WE CAN GO SWIMMING." Jani said excitedly into my ear. I thought this plan over before grabbing my phone to text my mom and ask if it were okay with her. Her reply was quick that she didn't mind. Also letting me know that she was out of town for the night. I think my step dad Mitchell had probably told her he wanted them to go hiking. My mother hiking was enough to make me laugh at the thought. She was certainly not a very fit woman. I turned my head away from my phone to look at the boys, "So, do you guys like swimming?" They all shouted all kinds of crazy answers. I instucted them to go get their swim suits, since most people don't just have those on hand. We left splitting up, while Jani, Heather, and I began sitiuating the house, and changing into swim suits. I don't know why I even bothered to put mine on. I didn't even want to swim. The thought itself made me truely exhausted, or maybe I actually was truely exhausted. We sat in the living room while Jani texted Niall the directions. They are really quite simple, just head straight from the square, the movie theatere was only a block from house.
"So, I get the feeling you really like Niall, and you really like Zayn?" I said to both Jani and Heather. They both blushed instantly. Jani couldn't hide the squeal that busted through her perfectly braced teeth, "HE'S SO EFFIN' CUTE! He reminds me of the puppy I never had!" Which was a lie, Jani had had COUNTLESS puppies, all dying different ways, some running away. I really can't blame those puppies. We all laughed, Heather leaning over clutching her stomach, and Jani looking at Heahter and I like assholes because we laughed at her admitting that she liked him. Heather and I regained our composure, and Heather smiled at me. "I like him. He's not loud and rambuntious like the rest of them, and he's really smart. I like that he looks forgein. I love forgeiners." She said lightly looking my way. Jani just smiled my way, icy blue crystal lakes narrowing in my direction. "I think that Harry is quite smitten with you. He looks at you like he just got a puppy on Christmas morning." She stated as I blushed violently.
"What is with you and puppies today, Jani?" I asked giggling at her. Causing them all to join in, the laugh was cut short as there was a knock on the door. I peeled my body from the chair with carefulness because I felt extremely weak. This Chemo was kicking my ass. I opened the door with a smile as all five boys filed in, smiling and laughing, and being OVERLY loud.

The day with the boys ended well around 9. The day had consisted of loud boys, flirting, and aggresively trying to drowned each other. I, myself, just sat in the chair beside the pool, smoking a cigarette ever so often watching and laughing and having small talk. Everyone saying their goodbyes, Jani and Niall hugged goodbye, as did Heather and Zayn, Harry was the last to walk through the door, turning before he finally got out of the door. He grabbed my left hand bringing it to his mouth, and kissing it ever so gently. "It was a pleasure to hang out with you girls today. I'll look forward to doing it more often." He smiled realeasing my hand as it dropped back by my side. My mouth fell gaping, but before I could even regeister what had just happened, he was already through the door. I shut the door, thinking about the single kiss to my hand that sent rivers upon rivers of icy cold water down my back. I couldn't imagine what it would be like for him to kiss my lips. I imagined it'd be like a match lit brilliantly inflamed, catching the end of a fire work, sending it sky rocketing right before the explosion. The boys left, and it was only us 3 girls.

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Jani and Heather gushed over Nial and Zayn for another hour, before sleep exhausion had finally taken over Heather as she headed up to my room. It was lights out for her, and time for best friend bonding time. We decided we'd watch a movie. We discussed our options before I told her I wanted to watch A Walk to Remember. We settled in with a big bowl of popcorn, and a few Dr. Pepper's at our reach. The movie played for a little over an hour, as we were both blubbering with tears, as the credit rolled. I side glanced Jani seeing her still crying. I inhaled felling like I haven't done that in a while. I turned my body to her pulling my legs into myself, with my knees to my chest. Tears still streaming out of my own eyes, as Jani wiped her last few away. "I have terinal cancer, Jani," was all that came out of my mouth before tears blurred my vison again. Jani's mouth tightened at the corners, as she looked at me silently debating whether it was true or not. My facial expression must of showed exactly how truthful I was being, before her head dipped a little, and the first single tear was shed, turning those beautiful icy blue crystal rivers a dull and lifeless blue. Dying will not be easy, and I can't stop the break in my heart slowly growing bigger, as I tell my best friend, the friend that was there when I experienced my first heartbreak, the friend that would sit up all night listening to me bitch and complain that my dad was a wanker, the friend that would always have my back no matter what, that I can't be here anymore.