The Black Parade

“What the fuck is going on?!”

I guess when you’re the leader of the Black Parade you’re supposed to know what’s going on, as Gerard was ranting and raving, rather impressively I must add, I was guessing that there were problems in administration in this place.

The one Frank liked to call Dave shrugged, looking a little lost himself, now that was a bad sign. When the overall guy in charge of this place looked a little lost that’s when you start worrying. I’m starting to think that joining this thing would not be a wise career move for me.

“He was supposed to die,” Dave explained, barely.

“Why could he see me?!” Gerard raised his voice and stormed around a bit more.

“In life you had a very strong connection-”

“What the fuck does that mean?!” Gerard snapped, interrupting Dave.

“And he has been bordering on the brink for-”

“Would you please make sense!” Gerard interrupted Dave again and this time Dave didn’t like it too much

“Would you let me finish my sentence!” Dave snapped, getting to his feet in one smooth violent motion.

“You know what, fuck this! I’m going… somewhere!” Gerard always seemed to ruin his exits by trying to explain too much, he should have probably left it at ‘going’ but he had to add a reason, didn’t he?

There was an awkward silence.

“Where can I find some shoes?” Nevaeh asked. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to defuse the tense situation or if she was just curious about the shoes.

“Here,” Dave huffed, he waved his hand and Nevaeh was suddenly wearing these rather attractive knee high black leather boots.

“Cool,” Nevaeh exclaimed.

“Um… could I-“

Dave interrupted me by waving his hand again and I had some shoes, finally. Except they were the exact same ones Gerard had given me before. Damn.

“Thanks,” I muttered.

“There was something I wanted to discus with you,” Bob stepped in suddenly.

“What?” Dave snapped, as he sat back down finally. I was guessing he was still a bit annoyed with the Prima Donna behaviour of his head parader.

“You know how we could always use new recruits?” Bob continued. Dave just nodded, not even looking at Bob as he sorted through a pile of files on his desk. “Well I think, just in my opinion, of course, that Nevaeh would be a grateful addition to the-”

“Yeah, whatever,” Dave waved Bob’s suggestion away. “Show her the ropes.” Bob looked sort of pleased with himself for that. Dave clicked his fingers and Nevaeh was suddenly standing in this very short, very revealing little black dress that looked sort of like a marching band uniform for a porn film. I was so glad I got this special dress now.

“Where’s the rest of this dress?” Nevaeh asked hopefully.

“That’s it,” Dave pointed out.

“Just this?” Nevaeh asked. She lent forward and tugged at the back that had ridden up considerably. “Ray, can you see my knickers?”

Ray covered his eyes. “I am not looking.”

“You’re not wearing knickers, sweetness, you’re wearing a thong,” Frank pointed out happily. Sick, little pervert.

“I don’t like.” Nevaeh pointed out. “Who designed these… things?”

“Gerard,” Frank answered, stifling laughter.

“That’s it, where is that fucker. Gerard Arthur Way I need to have a fucking word with you!” With that she turned tail and walked out of the office.

“She has good legs,” Frank grinned.

“Thank you Frank for that observation but I have things to do so would you all kindly get out of my office,” Dave instructed in a harsh voice.

Ray, Bob and I backed out of the room pretty quickly but Frank lingered.

“Thanks for all the wise words Dave,” Frank saluted.

Dave calmly stood, took his letter opener and chucked it at Frank’s head. Luckily or not, however you want to see this, Frank ducked just in time and it hit the door frame, injuring no one. Dave told him to leave with some very colourful language. I think Dave was having a mental breakdown.

“Jeez,” Frank sighed, “he’s losing his aim.”

“You shouldn’t wind him up, Frank,” Ray suggested.

“Gerard does it all the time,” Frank answered.

“And does He regularly chuck letter openers at Gerard’s head?” Bob asked.

“…No… But that doesn’t mean-”

“Just quit it Frank,” Ray stepped in.

“Fine,” Frank pouted and sulked as he stormed off.

“Well, I’ll be seeing you two,” Ray said as he too wandered off to do something. Which left me with Bob.

“I’ve been wondering Bob,” I started.

“I don’t even know you that well and I know that’s a bad idea.” I hit Bob on the arm for his cheek.

“How long have I been here?” I asked.

“In the Land of the Living time span or City of the Dead?”

“There’s a difference?”

“There’s a big difference,” Bob answered, in a not very answery way, like many had a tendency to do to me here. “How long does it feel?”

That was a hard question. Truthfully I had no fucking idea. It didn’t seem that long because time didn’t seem to affect the City of the Dead, I hadn’t seen the sun set, I haven’t been to sleep, haven’t eaten anything, there was nothing to judge the time by.

“A few hours,” I answered vaguely.

“More like seven days.”

“What the fuck?!” I think Bob was just playing with me.

“No kidding, it’s been about seven days in City of the Dead time, which is approximately seven hours in the Land of the Living.”

“You are kidding me right?”

“Time goes faster here so that we get more time between picks up, hundreds of people die every day all around the world and there’s only about twenty of us in the Black Parade, that’s a lot of work for one person. So it’s levelled out. If time were the same on both sides we’d be swamped. You’ll get used to it.” He patted me on the shoulder and made to leave me.

“Hey, I’ve got more to ask.” I caught up with him and we walked towards the elevator. “What about normal human functions?” I asked. “Like eating and sleeping?”

“We don’t need to eat or sleep.” Bob answered.

“Is their still…?” I started vaguely; slightly embarrassed to ask what I was thinking. But I was just curious. It wasn’t like I was thinking of doing it with someone or anything like that.

“Still what?” Bob asked. God he was slow.

“You know, still…” I waved my hands around to make up for the words I couldn’t bring myself to say.

“No,” Bob shook his head, “I’m really confused.” I think he was just trying to annoy me now. I was fed up with this.

“Sex!” I exclaimed.

“I… err…” Bob went bright red in embarrassment, it was pretty funny, “I wouldn’t know.” Well he was a great load of help.

“You’ve been here for three years, right?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he answered.

“And you haven’t, you know, done it?”

“Well… I… being in the Black Parade takes a lot of time.” He explained, still blushing furiously. Awww, ickle baby.

“Can you still get it up though?” The doors pinged and opened onto the lobby.

“I’m finding this conversation rather disturbing.” Bob brushed my question off and attempted to run away, tricky bugger.

“Fine,” I replied prissily, “don’t answer my question.”

“If it’s okay with you I’d rather not.”

Fucking bastard. I’ll find out, you mark my words.

I wandered around with no real destination in mind, because for one I still didn’t know my way around yet, and two there was no one around to tell me what to do and three I didn’t know if I had my own portal yet or what. So I was at a bit of a loss for what to do. So walking seemed like a good enough thing to do to pass the time. Except other people weren’t so keen on letting me be.

“Shouldn’t you be doing something?” Gerard snapped at me.

I just shrugged. “Like what?”

“I… don’t know.” Gerard answered. He sighed and ran a hand through his short bleached blonde hair before slipping down the side of an apartment building to sit on the sidewalk. Surprisingly I didn’t find the bleached blonde hair that offensive to my eyesight, though I still did prefer the long black hair he had before, well, what I could remember from the posters on my sister’s walls anyway. “Sit down already you’re making me feel awkward.”

Again I just shrugged and sat down cross-legged next to him. “What’s up?” I asked in a half-hearted sort of way. I didn’t really want to know but I had this nagging feeling that he wanted to talk. I wasn’t sure why he’d pick me, but as I was here, and he was here, and we had nothing to do we might as well have a little heart to heart.

“Do you hate me?” He came out and asked straight away. It stunned me for a very long time.

“Why do you ask?” I decided to be diplomatic and not answer with something that might anger him even more, telling him that I found him very difficult most of the time probably wouldn’t go down very well right now.

“I get the feeling that everyone hates me,” he confessed.

“I think that’s called paranoia,” I explained, “and I think everyone suffers from it now and then.”

He shot me a side-glance, giving me a look as if I was stupid, I just shrugged and a smile curved his rather pretty lips. “Why did I choose you?”

“Because you did.” I think my answer was pretty accurate, don’t you?

“I’m not even sure why myself.”

“It was fate.” I made ‘mystic’ sounding noises and waved my hands around for effect.

“No, it really wasn’t.”

“Fine then, ruin my moment Mr. Way,” I sighed over dramatically.

“Moment officially ruined.” He replied with a pleased little grin.

“Oh, get over yourself you… you… pin prick!”

“Harsh,” he grinned. I attempted to hit him but he grabbed my wrist with ease and held my arm away. “Be nice, sugar.” I was kind of frustrated that I couldn’t hit him so I was stupidly struggling, which in turn made him grab my other wrist and before I knew it he was pushing me backwards against the sidewalk and pinning me to the ground. Not good. Though he just stared at me, a rather lustful look in his eyes, that worried me ever so slightly, but he didn’t attempt to do anything.

“Um… Gerard…” I was going to ask him to get off of me, because I was feeling slightly awkward in this situation but he just smiled at me and I found myself not wanting to ask him to get off.

“Why did you try to deepen the kiss?” He asked playfully.

“Guess,” I huffed, rolling my eyes.

“Why don’t you tell me, sugar?” He continued in the same playful voice, he pushed his hips down against mine and grinned as I squirmed.

“Because you’re like mega hot and I want to like have your babies, and like you know-” I responded in my best fangirl impression but he stopped me suddenly by smothering my lips with his own. And ha! This time he deepened the kiss first. Guess he was just as eager as me. He let go of my wrists and I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. He was an amazing kisser when he got into it, trust me. We were both rather getting into the kiss, and my little question about getting it up was answered for me, when an impolite cough broke us apart. Well actually, I pulled away; Gerard growled and moved onto my neck.

“Fuck off Frank,” Gerard snapped between kisses.

“Dave wants to see you,” Frank said happily, obviously glad to be the one that caught us at it.

“Tell him I’m busy,” Gerard snarled.

“Can’t,” Frank replied, looking almost ecstatic at the prospect of annoying Gerard, “he’s got a special pick up for you.”

“Fine, all right!” Gerard huffed and finally got off of me, which I was kind of sad about.

“You should sort yourself out first,” Frank laughed. Gerard just shot him a death look before storming away. Damn you Frank! Damn you and your impeccable timing. “Sorry, were you two having fun?”

“Go fuck a tree Frank!” I snapped.

“Tree’s aren’t really my thing, sweetness, but maybe you’d like to…” He grinned suggestively at me.

“I’m too high class for you Frank, sorry,” I smiled mockingly at him before I pushed past him and started walking off in another random direction.

I could hear Frank still laughing as I stormed off but thought better of turning and starting a fight with him, I was better than that. Not that I was that annoyed that he’d stopped Gerard while we were having some fun, because I didn’t want it that much, it was the fact that he was rubbing it in.

I wandered around aimlessly for a little longer before I saw Nevaeh who was also wandering around aimlessly.

“You don’t happen to know where I can find Gerard?” She asked, she looked sort of pissed off and she was still tugging at the amazingly short dress.

“He’s with Dave again.” I answered.

“What’s his real name?”

“I haven’t got a clue,” I shrugged.

“He’s like Death, right, the Grim Reaper?”

“I suppose.”

“Cool.”

There was a rather long pause. I couldn’t help thinking about Gerard. He acted like the right little tortured soul, and there was an air of mystery around him that confused me. And considering if I was thinking about kissing him I should know these sorts of things.

“How did Gerard die?”

“Huh… what?” Nevaeh stuttered. “I thought everyone knew?”

“Pretend for one minute that not everyone knows who MCR are.”

“Okay. Well, you know how he’d sworn off drugs and alcohol?”

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?” She asked sounding rather surprised.

“You’re forgetting that not all of us were big MCR fans when we were alive.”

“God, you deprived person.” She sighed and shook her head in disappointment. “Anyway, he hadn’t had anything for nearly three years since he quit so he went a little mad with it.”

“I thought he set himself a light?” This was all starting to get too confusing.

“Oh, he did, though Gerard’s not a stupid fuck, I suppose in some way he did want to suffer, but he took a load of pills and alcohol to sort of numb himself before, he wasn’t stupid.”

“So he numbed himself with pills?”

“Yeah, numbed himself then doused himself in gasoline, lit a match and… well, the rest is history.”

“But why?” That’s what I really wanted to know.

“How am I supposed to know? That’s not common knowledge, from what I’ve heard I don’t think the rest of the band even know why either.”

Well that was good, that made everything that much clearer, thank you Nevaeh for sorting all of that out for me.

At that moment Gerard decided to appear again.

“Hey, you, I’ve got a bone to pick with you!” Nevaeh jumped right in there, cornering him.

“About what?” Gerard sighed, sounding rather tired and fed up.

“Do you call this a dress?” Nevaeh asked, stepping back for him to get a better look at all of the dress, though she really didn’t need to step back for that.

“I think that’s what they’re usually called,” Gerard replied sarcastically.

“Where’s the rest of it?”

“Sugar, you’re dead, you’re stuck with that body, you’ve got a great set of legs, and if I was you I wouldn’t complain about showing them off.”

Nevaeh just huffed in annoyance and stormed off.

“Gwen,” he offered me his hand and I took it without thinking, “there’s something I’ve got to show you.”

Instead of using a portal the scenery around us just began to dissolve until the City of the Dead was replaced with a tent. I wasn’t sure where we were but there were these military style cots lined up in rows around the edge of the tent, on each one was a body, some of them were moaning and groaning, some tossing and turning.

“What are you showing me?” I asked Gerard.

“The death of a man named Emanuel,” Gerard answered, already walking down the length of cots looking for the man. “We will be taking him to Hell today.”

“I saw Ray do that.” I stated. “His whore of an ex-wife, she went up in flames, it was kind of distressing, I really don’t want to see it again.”

“You’re going to see it a lot in this line of work, Gwen, I suggest you get used to it.” Gerard said before stopping before a man of Mexican decent.

“Don’t I have a say in this, what if I don’t-” My words were interrupted by a loud explosion and I found myself cowering even though I knew it couldn’t hurt me. Gerard didn’t even flinch and he just stood there staring at me with a cocky smile.

“We get to play with them, Gwen, it’s half the fun of this.”

The music came out of nowhere once again, I was expecting it by now, but this song sounded different, it kind of had a European folk song feel to it, I actually liked it. But there was the sound of explosions from somewhere, distant, but still there. The man, Emanuel, suddenly caught my eye and I knew he was dead, it wasn’t that dramatic to tell you the truth, I was quite disappointed. I could see this glint in Gerard’s eye that had never been there before, not with the other souls, with the others he was always sort of sympathetic and understanding, to a degree, but not this time. I could see he didn’t approve.

“Mama, we all go to hell.” He started softly, offering his hand to the confused man. The man took it and allowed himself to be pulled from the makeshift hospital bed. “Mama, we all go to hell.” He repeated, patting some dust from the man’s blood stained khaki shirt. “I’m writing this letter,” he pulled a letter from the man’s shirt pocket with a flourish, “and wishing you well,” he ripped it into little bits. “Mama, we all go to hell.” He chucked the bits over the man, and they rained down over him. Emanuel was starting to look a little afraid now, trying to catch at the bits of paper fluttering around him but Gerard began dragging him away.

“Oh, well, now, Mama, we’re all gonna die.” He sung it in a rather mocking, over exaggerated way as he pulled the man out of the tent, into the desert. People were milling around, other soldiers cleaning guns, officers giving orders, soldiers hydrating, soldiers dehydrating, soldiers passing a Thai mail order bride catalogue between them enthusiastically, but everyone looked slightly bored, slightly insignificant. “Mama,” Gerard grinned and gestured to all the men around, friends of Emanuel’s I do believe, considering the look on his face, “we’re all gonna die.” And suddenly every man there was slumped on the floor, covered in blood, and very much dead. I knew it was an illusion, a trick, but Emanuel didn’t believe it, his face blanched incredibly at the sight, his mouth opening and closing as if he wished to ask for an explanation. Gerard was having too much fun with this. That glint in his eye was almost terrifying. “Stop asking me questions I hate to see you cry.” Gerard traced an imaginary tear down his cheek. “Mama,” he clicked his fingers and everything was back to normal, “we’re all gonna die.”

“And when we go don’t blame us, yeah,” and suddenly the music went flat out. Gerard grabbed Emanuel by the collar of his ruined shirt and began dragging him past his friends. “We’ll let the fires just bathe us, yeah,” he pushed Emanuel in front of someone who he obviously knew, but they ignored him completely, obviously being unable to see him, but Emanuel didn’t know that, and it worried him. “You made us oh so famous,” Gerard mocked, grabbing Emanuel’s chin and forcing him to meet his eye. “We’ll never let you go.” Gerard patted Emanuel’s cheek mockingly. “And when you go you’ll return to me my love.”“Mama, we’re all full of lies.” Gerard continued as the verse came back round; he began dragging Emanuel away by his collar once more. “Mama,” he turned round to face Emanuel properly, “we’re meant for the flies.” Another click of Gerard’s fingers and a grave looking man in a morbid black suit was standing beside Emanuel with a tape measure, measuring him up for size. “And right now they’re building a coffin your size.” Emanuel’s eyes were wide in fright and he tried to escape, but Gerard yanked him back and he sagged in Gerard’s arms. Why was Gerard trying to scare him so much? Why did he seem to hate him so much? “Mama, we’re all full of lies.” The grin on Gerard’s face was frightening.

“Well mother what the war did to my legs and to my tongue.” Gerard sang, gesturing to Emanuel as he began to walk backwards, dragging the poor soul with him. “You should have raised a baby girl.”

“I should’ve been a better son.” Emanuel gasped as his lips moved and he sung the words without seeming to want to. What was Gerard doing?

“If you could coddle the infection,” Gerard tweaked his nose, smiling from ear to ear, “they can amputate at once!” He declared excitedly, pulling Emanuel up to stand on his feet properly. Coddle, interesting choice of word, I wonder if Gerard actually knew what it meant? I’m guessing he probably didn’t and was just using it to make himself look smart. “You should have been-“

“I could have been-“ Emanuel corrected, again not seeming to want to, making Gerard smile triumphantly.

“A better son.” Gerard finished with a smile.“And when we go don’t blame us, yeah.”

It went flat out again but suddenly we weren’t in this part of the desert anymore; we were in a town, a shantytown, gunfire suddenly everywhere, loud explosions making me cover my ears in fright. Gunfire was issuing from the makeshift buildings to the left, corrugated metal roofs and sandbags for parts of walls, and now barricades. Soldiers, American and British alike, to the right, behind trucks and dug in trenches, firing blindly at those inside. Emanuel fell to his knees but Gerard just kept dragging him by his collar into the middle of the gunfight, the bullets whizzing straight through us. Dirt erupting from the ground like fountains splattering us all. I hurried after Gerard, scared of being separated from him. I didn’t know what he was doing. But I knew I didn’t like it.

“We let the fires just bathe us, yeah,” Gerard sang, dragging Emanuel along by his collar still. The soldiers to the right were “la-la-ing” pleasantly as they shot at the men to the left, all their actions seemed to be in time with the music, and they swayed as they did it. “You made us oh so famous,” Gerard turned to face Emanuel once more, giving him a mocking grin again. “We’ll never let you go.” Gerard continued to drag Emanuel, now scrabbling along the dirt on his hands and knees to follow Gerard, who was heading towards the most peculiar sight. A woman, of some considerable age, was standing atop a jeep in the centre of the fight, she seemed almost as if to be conducting the two sides, playing them off against each other. She was dressed in a long, flowing, black dress that moved flawlessly with every movement of her arms, as if she was floating. Gerard suddenly stopped. “She said,” Gerard indicated the woman.

“You ain’t no son of mine,” she scolded Emanuel. Gerard turning and grinning at him too, singing along pleasantly as if this was the most fun he could ever think of having. “For what you’ve done they’re gonna find a place for you and just you mind your manners,” Gerard wagged his finger at Emanuel disapprovingly, “when you go.” Holding the note he kicked Emanuel to the floor, his foot on his back. He leant down very close to Emanuel to sing the next words. “And when you go, don’t return to me, my love.” The woman finished.

“That’s right,” Gerard added with a devilish grin. He leant down and grabbed Emanuel by the back of his shirt and began marching towards the jeep in time with the song, I could do nothing but hitch up my skirt and run after him, avoiding the explosions coming from all around us. “Mama, we all go to hell.” A man ran out from the shantytown on the left, guns blazing and screaming something indistinguishable, he was immediately shot right between the eyes. “Mama, we all go to hell.” I screamed as his body fell right before me. “It’s really quite pleasant except for the smell.” I skirted around the dead man feeling sick but still just following after Gerard. “Mama, we all go to hell.” He chucked Emanuel at the base of the jeep the woman was standing on. “Two… three… four… “ Gerard conducted pleasantly.

And with every wave of the woman’s hands, in time with the music, that Gerard copied, over exaggerating each movement, bodies began to burst from the dust all around us, half-decayed, bloody, gruesome men, men of all ages, some only boys, their looks of fierce determination. Gerard was screaming, but in excitement it did seem, howling with glee would be the correct term. What on earth did he think he was doing?

“Mama,” he turned to the woman with such adoration. “Mama,” he raised his arms to her. “Mama.” He turned back to watch the scene, the bodies still rising from the earth, some dressed in solider uniforms, he was still howling. “Mama,” he gave Emanuel, who was cowering by the base of the jeep, covering his ears against the screams, a sharp kick in time with the music. “Mama.” He did it again and I grabbed his arm to try and stop him. “Mama.” His voice was full of fury as he yanked his arm away from me. “Mama.” He leant down and grabbed Emanuel, turning him so he could face the woman, looking up at her expectantly, waiting.

“And if you will call me your sweetheart,” she sung it softly by herself, everything else suddenly quiet around her. “I’d maybe then sing you a song.”

“But the shit that I’ve done with this fuck of a gun,” Gerard sung, grabbing Emanuel by his collar once more and pulling him away from the jeep towards where the soldiers were before but suddenly they were gone replaced with just an endless expanse of desert. “You would cry out your eyes all along.”

I followed after them and when I turned I almost screamed. The soldiers, and the men they were fighting, and the dead men from the ground, were all joined together in one large group, now nothing but empty desert around for all the eye could see. The woman was leading them now as they all advanced on us. Gerard had Emanuel on his knees before us, hand gripping the back of his neck tightly, Gerard’s eyes were sparkling with glee as he watched the scene unfold, almost with pride. Emanuel was screaming, tears gushing down his cheeks.

“We’re damned after all, through fortune and flame we fall,” the crowd sang in rousing tones, grins on all their faces as they advanced on us. “And if you can stay then I’ll show you the way to return from the ashes you crawl.” With his free hand, Gerard seemed to be conducting them again. Fire was bursting in tongues from behind them, the explosions still so loud, and their voices too, so powerful, I wanted to cover my ears again, but I couldn’t move. They were so close. They were going to hurt us. I instinctively cowered behind Gerard, unsure why I thought I’d gain any comfort from him, he turned and gave me a cocky smile. Well screw him then. “We all carry on.”

“We all carry on,” the woman echoed, holding her hand to her heart, something white now clutched in it.

“When are brothers in arms are gone,” the crowd continued loudly.

“When are brothers in arms are gone,” the woman repeated, gesturing to the legion of men around her.

“So raise your glass high,” all those with guns raised them to the sky and fired blindly, “for tomorrow we die and return from the ashes you fall.” The men finished, grabbing hold of Emanuel and dragging him into their depths while Gerard howled the last word gleefully.

The woman took the white thing, now revealed to be a handkerchief, and dabbed at her eyes mockingly, while surveying the men around her, Emanuel screaming in terror, the dead men and soldiers tossing him between them like a rag doll. She let it drop from her hand with a flourish and when it touched the dirt ground everything disappeared and Gerard and I were left standing on the empty parade street, alone.