The Black Parade

“I think she’s waking up.”

The world felt a bit weird, I wasn’t sure if up was up or down was down, or if I was a chicken. I was completely out of it and when I opened my eyes it took me quite a few blinks to realise it was Frank kneeling over me looking a little concerned. I tried to sit up but he pushed me down gently.

“You need your rest.” He told me softly.

“I’m dead, I’m sure the dead don’t need that much rest.”

“Death is supposed to be eternal rest.”

Considering that the last time I had seen Gerard he had scared the Hell out of me seeing him emerge from the shadows of the unfamiliar room made me jump. Thankfully there was no bullet hole in his forehead. What had happened? It wasn’t real, I was sure of that, but did they know what I had seen?

“Well this Black Parade crap isn’t eternal rest,” I muttered, sitting up, ignoring Frank’s attempts to push me back down again.

“We sorted Caleb out for you.” Gerard told me in a cold voice, he didn’t look concerned like Frank, or slightly confused like Nevaeh, but he looked annoyed and almost disappointed. Did he expect better from me already? That was my first pick-up on my own, and it wasn’t my fault whatever happened, happened, the fucking twat.

“Thank you.” I replied in a clipped voice. If he wasn’t going to be nice neither was I. I’m childish, okay? So shoot me.

“You’re welcome.” Gerard replied.

“Okay, would you stop this? Snide arguments give me headaches.” Frank interrupted. “I don’t care what’s up between you two but I want to know what happened to Gwen?” Frank asked, turning to me.

“I… don’t know.” I answered truthfully.

“My father,” Nevaeh started, looking slightly shocked, “he had a gun...”

“That was who that man was?” I interrupted her shaky words.

Nevaeh nodded.

“I suppose he was going to avenge your death,” Frank added in a blasé sort of way as if it happened all the time in the City of the Dead.

“Why?” Nevaeh asked. “I surely haven’t been gone for that long for him to suspect foul play, have I?”

“You’ve been missing for nearly three days,” Frank explained in a soft voice.

“Three days?” Nevaeh questioned, looking confused.

“Time works differently here.” Frank said.

“That doesn’t matter,” Gerard stepped in, “what matters is how Gwen managed to get herself shot.”

“Well maybe you could answer that for me.” Frank retaliated, anger creeping into his voice. “As you think you know everything.”

Gerard narrowed his eyes at Frank but ignored the blatant insult. “You were out for a long time Gwen.”

“I think I had a dream.” I said shakily. “Or more a nightmare.”

“What was it?” Frank asked, almost eagerly.

“You were there.” I pointed at Frank. He looked sort of pleased about that. “You offered me an apple from a pigs mouth, but you laughed and ate it instead.”

“A pig?” Frank questioned.

“But you were the only one not eating the pig.”

“That’s easy, I’m a vegetarian.” Frank answered. “Next. I’m good at this interpreting dreams thing.”

“She didn’t know you were a vegetarian before, Frank.” Gerard said suddenly.

“Well that was obviously what the dream was about then, to inform her that I’m a vegetarian.”
“The dead don’t eat, Frank,” Gerard retaliated.

“Ignore them.” Nevaeh said. “Carry on telling us about your dream.”

“You were there too. But it was mostly…” God I felt so ashamed to admit this, this could be interpreted in so many wrong ways, “Gerard.” They all turned to me with knowing looks then. “He was singing.”

“He does that a lot,” Frank said, rolling his eyes. Gerard shot him another glare and he started laughing.

“But I was in this dark hallway that was lined by bared doors and there were all these people reaching out for me, they wanted me to save them, to free them, but I couldn’t, and they kept grabbing at me, pulling, it hurt.” I continued.

“That’s easy,” Frank said, “they were obviously trying to tell you I’m a vegetarian.”

“Frank,” Gerard started threateningly, “shut up.” He turned to me then, his eyes very dark in contrast to his bright hair. “You felt like you needed to free them?” I nodded. Gerard just sighed, “continue.”

“You were at the end of a light, I felt safer if I got to you,” I blushed at that bit and Frank winked at me suggestively, “but then you dropped me, and that’s when I was at the banquette table.”

“What banquette table?” Frank asked stupidly.

“The one where you obviously offered her the apple, dumbass,” Nevaeh cut in, whacking Frank round the head for good measure.

“And all sorts of people where there, and it seemed like everything was separated. Bob, Ray and Nevaeh seemed to be the good, you motioned to them with your left hand.” I said, pointing to Gerard. “And Frank and Mikey were the bad, your right hand, the wine glass.” It seemed like something important. Gerard just nodded knowingly.

“Hey!” Frank protested. “I’m not a bad guy!”

“Shhh!” Nevaeh interrupted him, giving him a sharp slap to the back of his head.

“Owww!” He whined while rubbing his head. “Why does everyone feel the need to do that to me?”

“Because you’re annoying,” Gerard answered, a small smile on his lips. “Next question.” Frank pouted, crossed his arms over his chest and turned away, ignoring Gerard’s insult. Wise move.

“Do carry on,” Nevaeh said, “ignore the children.” That raised a smile from me.

“Then I was back in Caleb’s office, and you were there Gerard, but there was a bullet hole through your forehead, and you shattered.” It seemed so bizarre explaining it to them like this.

“Well I’m stumped,” Frank said suddenly.

“No,” Gerard muttered, “it all makes sense.”

“Would you care to divulge that to the rest of us then, O wise one?” Frank asked.

“Another time Frank,” Gerard answered, though I’d quite like to know what Gerard knew about my nightmare that I didn’t know. “But first I want to know why that bullet was able to hurt Gwen.”

“I suppose you’ll have to ask Dave,” Frank said, grinning at his own little joke again.

“No,” Gerard shook his head, “He won’t know any better,” he muttered. “What’s going on?”

“How should I now?” Frank shrugged.

“Mikey could see me, but he didn’t die, Gwen was affected by the living world, but she’s dead,” Gerard mused. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

“I think we can sum up something’s wrong,” Frank interrupted, “now we can go.”

“Why?” Nevaeh asked. “Do you have better things to do?”

“Could have,” Frank answered vaguely. Nevaeh just rolled her eyes and ignored Frank’s laughter.

“If it’s watching your girlfriend in the shower that doesn’t count as better things,” Nevaeh laughed.

“Damn!” Frank huffed.

“You little perve,” Nevaeh laughed.

“We do have souls to be collecting you know,” Gerard interrupted.

“Always work, work, work with you!” Frank complained as he stood up and brushed off his trousers.

“You know being a workaholic can really get in the way of your love life,” Nevaeh pointed out, she wasn’t even saying it in a suggestive way with knowing looks to Gerard or I, she was just saying it.

“Nevaeh has a point.” It was Frank who had to go and make it obviously wrong by winking at me. Gerard looked at me, an odd look in his eyes, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to think, but then there was something there, something familiar, something that he really enjoyed. I looked away quickly before I started blushing. I didn’t even know him and I’d made out with him! I was beginning to feel just a little bit slutty. “When was the last time you got laid, Gerard?” Frank just went straight ahead and asked.

“There’s sex in the afterlife!” Nevaeh exclaimed.

“Oh yeah,” Frank said knowingly, also sounding like he enjoyed it too much.

“I want to talk to you Gwen,” Gerard suddenly said.

“Talk, yeah,” Frank again said knowingly, “that’s what they call it these days.”

“Do you think of anything else but sex?” Nevaeh asked.

“Umm…” Frank had to think about that one for a while, “I think about Jamia a lot.”

“Awww, that’s sweet,” Nevaeh said, then quickly back tracked, “no wait, is she in the shower in your thoughts?”

Frank tried to put on a little innocent look but the evil smirk won over. Nevaeh then lunged at him and they proceeded to chase each other around the unfamiliar room like little children.
“Here’s our chance to slip away,” Gerard whispered in my ear before lacing his fingers with mine and heading out of the door.

“Can I ask you something?”

“If it’s anything to do with my sex life I probably won’t answer, just so you know.”

“No,” I muttered, shaking my head and trying my hardest to hide the smile, “do you know something about my dream I don’t?”

He looked over at me as we walked down the unfamiliar hallway, his look wary, as if thinking whether he should tell the truth or not, but in the end he just sighed. “I do.”

“Are you going to tell me?” I asked hopefully.

“I would have thought you’d be able to work some of it out.”

“I think I have.” He waited for me to continue. “The hallway, the dark enclosed space, obviously that’s my fear of something, feeling trapped, and all the people reaching out for me, wanting me to free them, that’s all the souls I’m supposed to collect.” I stopped and took a deep breath. I was about to confess. “I think I’m terrified of being the leader of the Black Parade.” I looked up at Gerard, awaiting his reaction, I was half expecting him to get angry, but he just offered me a sympathetic smile and wrapped me up in his arms giving me a tight hug, and to tell you the truth it was what I needed right then.

“It’s only natural to fear the unknown.”

“The thing is,” I started as I pulled out of the hug to get a better look at him, “I know what I’ve got to do, I just don’t think I can do it.”

“Just keep trying,” he said, already starting to walk me down the hallway again, “you might get better at it.”

“As if!” I huffed. “I got shot on my first go on my own, me, a dead girl, got shot, is that even possible?”

“I don’t know what’s going on either.” Well he was just full of answers, wasn’t he?

“Good lot of help you are,” I muttered under my breath, Gerard choose to ignore that statement.

“Do you understand the rest of the nightmare?” He asked, suddenly changing the subject.

“Vaguely,” I muttered in answer.

I understood the main gist of it but I just didn’t want to tell him. I knew in the nightmare I felt like I needed Gerard, that he could save me, but when I got to him he dropped me, obviously telling me I couldn’t rely on him. And then at the end he shattered, I was aware he wasn’t going to be here forever, he was going to move on, so I couldn’t rely on him, and the thought of being without him scared me a little. The Frank thing was kind of obvious too, and not that he was a vegetarian like he kept trying to tell me, but because of what had happened before that pick-up. Gerard was so close to telling me the truth of why he had committed suicide but Frank had suddenly appeared and Gerard had closed up. The why was the apple, I was so close to getting it and Frank had taken it away. I think, that one’s a little vague, there may be another reason behind that one that I haven’t quite seen yet. What I didn’t understand was why Frank and Mikey were the bad guys? I knew Frank could be a real annoying fuck when he put his mind to it and I knew Mikey was partly responsible for why Gerard committed suicide, but did that make them bad? It was all very confusing.

“It will come to you,” Gerard replied cryptically before stepping into the elevator. “But how about a few pick-ups to take your mind off of things?”

“You really are work obsessed.”

When Gerard cleared the portal it revealed a dingy bar, it was obviously late at night because there were four men in grey, drab clothing with brooms and cloths cleaning around these two boys. I say boys because they looked young, fifteen, sixteen, definitely too young to be in a bar at that time of night. They were deep in conversation over something. It bizarrely reminded me of that bit in The Godfather where Michael’s got to kill Sollozzo in the restaurant. It was all very confusing.

“What’s going on here?” I asked Gerard.

“Stupid teenagers,” he huffed before stepping through the portal. I barely had time to register my surroundings before a loud shot echoed through the room making me jump. I looked back to realise one of the teenage boys was slumped over the table and the other one was calmly tucking the gun back into the waistband of his jeans and walking out of the bar. What was up with youth culture today?

The kid sat up shakily, looking around in confusion, before his eyes met Gerard’s and widened incredibly, obviously he wasn’t used to bleach blonde dudes just appearing out of nowhere. But could you blame him?

“They’re going to clean up your looks.” Gerard started to this odd sort of sounding guitar thing that seemed like it should have been out of Bugsy Malone or something stupid like that, it also gave me strong urges to line dance, I don’t think that was what they were going for with it though. “With all the lies in the books.” Gerard approached the kid, who looked like he was eyeing the exits ready to make his escape. Gerard actually looked quite cheerful this time, I guess he was just in a good mood today. “To make a citizen out of you.” He did that thing where he pointed at something on the kids t-shirt and the kid looked down and then he flicked the kid in the nose. He was definitely in a weird mood today. “Because they sleep with a gun,” he grandly took a seat next to the kid, crossing his legs like a woman or a gay man, I’m not sure which, “and keep an eye on you son,” he pointed at the boy but he was smiling too much. “So they can watch all the things you do.”

Gerard wagged his finger at the kid accusingly but he was still grinning and it really didn’t help create the desired affect, considering the kid just looked sort of confused.

“Because the drugs never work.” He clicked his fingers and the four cleaners began banging their brooms on the floor in time with the drumbeat. This really was like Bugsy Malone. “They’re gonna give you a smirk,” Gerard continued singing, looking quite lively, “coz they got methods of keeping you clean.”

The cleaners reached the clear centre of the bar where all the chairs where stacked on top of the tables and they grabbed their brooms with both hands and began using them like canes or something. I think Gerard’s seen one too many musicals for his own good.

“They’re gonna rip up your heads.”

The cleaners did an odd sort of complicated turn with their brooms. It was rather cool.

“Your aspirations to shreds.”

The cleaners landed on their knees, brooms held out.

“Another cog in the murder machine.” Gerard stood suddenly, probably in anticipation of the chorus. “They said all…”

The cleaners suddenly got to their feet using the brooms as supports and sort of jumped very high doing odd splits.

“Teenagers scare the living shit out of me,” Gerard was actually sort of shimmying to the music, he seemed to be getting really into it, “they could care less as long as someone’ll bleed.” The cleaners continued to dance with their brooms while the kid looked on in confusion. “So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose,” Gerard balled his fists and pretended to look violent, it was just sort of laughable really, “maybe they’ll leave you alone but not me.”

The music suddenly stopped, waiting for the verse to come back around.

“The boys and girls in the clique.” Gerard advanced on the kid again, this time dragging him to his feet and into the centre of the emptier bit of the bar. “The awful names that they stick.” Gerard sort of danced backwards, he really was too happy today, and left the kid alone in the centre only to have the cleaners surround him and hold their brooms up in a square around him effectively baring his escape. “Your never gonna fit in much kid.” The kid was turning swiftly looking for an escape as the cleaners circled him still holding him in his broom prison. “But if your troubled and hurt,” Gerard sang, “what you got under your shirt,” he mimed lifting his top up but stopped before we got to see anything that interesting, damn, “will make them pay for the things that they did.” He looked at me and smirked, obviously realising I wasn’t minding the idea of him taking his top off.

“They said all,” and suddenly he climbed onto the table where the kid had been sitting before, “teenagers scare the living shit out of me.” He began to get rather into it as he watched the cleaner’s dance around the boy with their brooms, stopping him from running every now and then. Poor kid, must be scared out of his tiny mind. “They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed,” Gerard motioned me over suddenly and grabbed my hand, pulling me up onto the table with him, “so darken your clothes or strike a violent pose.” This time he did a gun with his hands pretending to shoot me and I did the fists, I couldn’t think of anything else violent, but I’m sure it made for an interesting image. “Maybe they’ll leave you alone but not me.”

It then went into this rather interesting guitar riff that made me want to line dance even more, it was amazing, I’ve never had an urge to line dance this much. The cleaners were doing some very interesting moves around the kid with their brooms now, but they weren’t line dancing, alas, I was denied that treat. Though Gerard had my hand and was twirling me on top of the table, pulling me in to do his hip trick. I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face, I think this was the most fun I’ve ever had on a pick-up, and Gerard seemed so happy for once.

“They said all,” Gerard suddenly jumped off the table to join the cleaners who were circling the kid once again blocking his path. “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me,” Gerard addressed the kid, who was again looking very scared, “they could care less as long as someone’ll bleed so darken your clothes or strike a violent pose maybe they’ll leave you alone but not me. All together now.” Gerard yelled and the cleaners began singing too, so I thought it only right to join in, even if I didn’t know the words. “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me, they could care less as long as someone’ll bleed, so darken your clothes or strike a violent pose, maybe they’ll leave you alone but not me.” Gerard then decided to do some more weird screeching things, he likes doing those noises, doesn’t he? “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me, they could care less as long as someone’ll bleed, so darken your clothes or strike a violent pose, maybe they’ll leave you alone but not me.”

And then it was all out musical ending with the cleaners sliding on their knees to pose around Gerard who was standing behind the kid with his hands on his shoulders. Gerard Way should definitely do musicals.