A Will to Survive

The air was heavy with moisture so thick it felt like it was raining without a cloud in the sky. The Georgia heat was unbearable as the beating sun baked every dark surface until it was hot enough you could fry an egg on it. Even at this hour of the day it must have been at least 90 degrees. Daryl chose to keep Lacy on his bike despite her weakness rather than force the others into close quarters with someone who was ill. They were all afraid though they didn’t vocalize it. None of them wanted to get sick but Daryl knew he had already been exposed back in the prison that first day the same time she had and if not back then most certainly on the ride up. He knew if he was going to get it there was nothing to do about it. Knowing all these things taking her on his motorcycle seemed the best option. Lacy was holding onto his waist with much less vigor than she had on the trip up. He took every bump with more caution then might be necessary to avoid throwing her off the back. He recalled with a blush the way her cold hands felt on the sensitive skin of his lower stomach just a few hours ago. He thought he heard a moaning from behind him but he couldn’t tell over the loud roar of his bikes engine, he picked up his pace just a bit in case. The sun was setting now and it was clear they were going to have to stop for the night rather than go directly back to the prison. Daryl considered pushing on in the dark for Lacy’s sake but he knew how dangerous the roads were in the day braving them at night would put them all at risk. Daryl honked once to signal to Michone that he was stopping as he pulled off next to a boarded up farm house. It would have to do for the night though it looked like it might have been in rough shape even before the outbreak. When the bike had stopped and he had cut the engine Lacy still hadn’t let go of his waist. Daryl looked over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow to see what the holdup was. Lacy’s eyes were completely blank as she looked ahead of them towards the house. There was no recognition that they had stopped moving.

“Lacy?” Daryl prompted softly.

“Huh? Wah?” Lacy mumbled groggily. She shook her head slightly to knock the haziness from her mind.

“We have to stop for the night; we won’t make it back before nightfall.” Daryl continued still trapped within her arms. He was beginning to feel an unusual tickle in the base of his stomach at the length of her embrace. He quickly glanced over his shoulder with worry to the others beginning to exit their car. Lacy felt sluggish and drained as she drifted through her mind imagining what it felt like to die. After another agonizingly long moment Daryl sighed and broke her embrace by standing up. Lacy fell slack forward for a moment losing balance without him to stabilize her on the bike seat. Daryl quickly moved to catch her and help her stand up.

“Have you had any water today?” Daryl asked looking at the dim flat gray color of Lacy’s skin and the dry flakes on her less than rosey lips. She shook her head no rather than answering she wasn’t sure if her voice would even work. She had chugged a bottle of water last night but hadn’t had anything yet today. Daryl sighed and pulled a water bottle from the bag over his shoulder holding it up to her mouth as she gulped greedily her eye still unfocused.

“If ya weren’t sick that would be enough to do this ta ya, as it is you should probably drink the rest a this bottle. Wooh, but slow down or yer gonna throw it all up.” Lacy tried to control herself taking the bottle from Daryl and lightly sipping and holding the cool delightful moisture in her mouth. Her hands shook with the effort of holding the bottle on her own. Standing a distance back Michone and the others waited with weary eyes on Lacy’s back.

“Stay here by the bike I’ll be right back.” Lacy glanced over her shoulder and saw the others keeping their distance.

“Don’t worry the leper will stay away.” A pang of guilt hit Daryl as he walked passed her and over to talk with Michone who was the only one still standing and looking towards them. The others were retrieving their supplies from the trunk and gathering their weapons.

“We gotta stop fer the night, figured we’d hold up here till dawn, head out first thing.” Daryl waved a hand towards the house as he explained only now coming to a stop in front of her. Michone nodded looking at the house and readying her katana.

“What about Red?” Daryl noticed his nickname being used by somebody else and felt a wave of possessiveness pass over him.

“What, ya want me ta tie her ta the porch?” Daryl shot back in a growl. Lacy might be sick but he wasn’t about to chain her outside like a dog just so these sorry saps could sleep a little easier. She would just have her own room and they could all stay as far away from it as they desired.

“That’s not what I said.” Michone remarked coldly

“I just meant will she be alright until the morning?”

“Shes gonna have ta be, aint nothing we can do ‘bout it now.” Daryl remarked Michone nodded.

“How are you feeling? She’s been on your bike with you” Daryl noticed the distance Michone was keeping now. He was glad maybe everyone would give him some space tonight.

“I’m fine. “ Daryl’s response was short and biting. This situation was really beginning to grate on him. Daryl saw Michone looking over his shoulder and turned to see Lacy walking away towards the side of the house where there were trees clustered.

“Should she be going off on her own like that?”

“No.” Daryl replied watching her shrinking silhouette in the dimming light. Her figure was just a bluish outline drifting across the shadowy edge of the yard.

“Can you guys handle clearing the house on your own?” Daryl looked back to Michone. She nodded her consent as he took the chance to jog after Lacy who was almost out of view now.

“Hey!” he called out as he began nearing her.

“Thought I told ya ta wait by the bike.” Daryl called slightly out of breath. Lacy said nothing setting down the bag she was carrying with a shaky hand. She began unrolling a blanket and laying it under a tree. The sun was peeking through the trees as it got lower in the sky. The trunks were all casting long shadows along the forest floor with bright golden beams in between.

“What are you doing?” Daryl asked knowing that he didn’t want to be having this conversation right now.

“What does it look like?” Lacy replied sarcastically in between coughs, she sat herself down slowly on the blanket and looked up at Daryl’s looming figure. His hair had been blown around by the bike but it still cast a shadow over his blue eyes. He had one hand on the strap that held his crossbow on his back

“No one’s going to make ya sleep outside Red.”

“Nobody can make me do anything. I’m choosing to stay out here. It’s not for you guys I just don’t want to be inside tonight.” Lacy knew she wasn’t being completely honest she would blame it on her claustrophobia and truthfully that was part of it but she was staying outside because she knew she was infected. She knew she was sick and she wasn’t going to have anyone else’s blood on her hands. If they got sick because of her she knew it could mean their death. Lacy thought again about her death. Would it really be from some sickness? She had always imagined that she would go out in a blaze of fire taking down as many walkers as she could before going down. Daryl looked at the determination on Lacy’s face and knew that arguing it wasn’t going to get him anywhere.

“Fine.” Daryl said plopping on the ground next to her and taking out a bag of trail mix he had in his bag chewing each individual piece as he ate it.

“What are you doing?” Lacy asked looking at him sitting beside her.

“Well yer not coming in and ya can’t stay out here alone.” Daryl used his bag as a lumpy replacement for a pillow as he leaned against a tree trunk to get more comfortable. He wasn’t sure about what he was doing, staying outside wasn’t the most appealing idea but he didn’t think he would get much sleep regardless and her being alone outside would only weigh on his conscious.

“Aren’t you afraid of getting sick?” Lacy asked quietly not looking at him as she spoke instead picking apart a leaf on the ground.

“Aint scared ah nothing.” Daryl chewed a peanut until it was nothing but mush before picking up an almond and placing it between his lips. Lacy let out a laugh like a snort through her nose.

“Famous last words of many a dumb ass.”
“I been exposed ta this already anyway, either I’m gonna get sick or I aint, ya can’t change that.” Lacy burst into a series of thick coughs feeling her stomach muscles squeeze with every jagged breath. Despite the heat Lacy felt herself begin to shiver. She wiggled forward to sit in a suns beam to try and absorb some heat while it lasted. Daryl’s eyes hadn’t missed her tremors he leaned forwards and slid off his leather jacket. It was far too warm for it anyway he had only been wearing it to cut down on some of the wind while riding his bike. He silently reached out a hand towards Lacy presenting her with his jacket. She looked at it confused for a moment.

“I’m fine, really.” She insisted eying the jacket with large pained eyes.

“yer shivering, just stop being a pain in my ass and take it.” Daryl reminded himself that taking someone’s help when they offered it wasn’t his strongest suit ether. He couldn’t help feeling frustrated with her as she fought him on everything. She slowly slid her arms into the jacket wincing a little as her muscles resisted the movements. The leather smelled of cigarette smoke and earth as it enveloped her in his residual warmth. Lacy pulled the collar tight around her tucking her face into the collar and closing her eyes. She kept her elbows tucked closely to her body and her knees tucked towards her chest.

“If I ask ya ta stay put will ya listen this time?” Lacy nodded with a small smirk.

“If you’re sick of me already this is going to be a long night.” Lacy remarked playfully.

“Yeah it is” Daryl shot back with spite as he stalked back towards the house to check on the others and update them on his sleeping arrangements. How did he get himself into this situation? He never once was put into so many strange predicaments with another person in the group like this. What made her so different? Why was he feeling so drawn to her? She was just some nutcase survivalist with a death wish. Daryl walked through the over grown grass at an angle cutting towards the houses front steps He could feel the pull from the blades of grass as he shuffled his boots through it. He reached the porch in time to see Tyreese carrying a bag in the front door which was now hanging by one hinge limply. There were two biters piled on the far side of the porch like trash waiting to go to the curb. Bob peeked through the doorway at the sound of Daryl’s approach quickly looking behind Daryl to see if Lacy was following him.

“Where’s lacy?” Bob asked quietly eying Daryl skeptically.

“Set er on fire in a field.” Daryl mumbled darkly as he pushed past Bob through the doorway looking for Michone. He wondered briefly if his comment had been heard by Tyreese. He didn’t want to set him off on another rage fit but he couldn’t help the bitterness he felt at Bobs question. When he found Michone she was sitting perched on a counter in the kitchen sliding her katana against a sharpener she found in one of the drawers.

“Red says she’s staying outside.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’ll stay with her” Daryl leaned his hands behind his back against the counter a few feet down from Michone who paused her work now to look at Daryl.

“Really had to twist your arm on that one.” Michone poked at Daryl’s motivations with a smirk.

“What’s that supposed ta mean, I’m just tryin’ ta keep you sorry bastards alive till we get back.” Daryl swung his arm loosely at her looking back to the door frame that now held Bob.

“Look. All I’m saying is, I don’t see anyone else cozying up to her as quickly as you.” Michone smiled fully letting the white of her teeth peek through her large ebony lips. She taunted Daryl with her eyes her shoulders were relaxed as if poking the bear didn’t frighten her at all.

“I’ve already been exposed to whatever this shit is. Same time as her. You guys don’t need to get sick too. That leaves me to go out there with her.” Daryl said nothing else turning to go scrounge up some blankets before returning to Lacy. He resented Michone's comments prickling at the implications of him sleeping off alone near her. Daryl turned away from a hallway closet with his arms full of blankets to see Bob approaching him hesitantly.

“Here take her these, It’s an antibiotic. Maybe if this is an infection this will help her get some sleep.” Bobs hand was stretched to cover the gap between them. Daryl tucked the pills into the breast pocket of his shirt double checking that it didn’t have any holes first.

“Thanks doc.” Daryl muttered his appreciation before heading back towards where he had left Lacy. As he began to near the cluster of trees the sun had almost fully set only a slight purple hue was left cast over the foliage. A soft melody drifted to Daryl's ears causing him to stop and listen. Ahead of him Lacy was singing softly to herself. Daryl dared a few more quiet steps forward before stopping and crouching down to listen.

“'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Don't need no roads
In fact they follow me
And we just go in circles
But now I'm told that this life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it”

Daryl hadn’t noticed himself leaning forward while he listened until he was off balance twisting his foot quickly to try and maintain squatting. The turn of the rubber soul of his boot on the damp grass made a loud squeaking noise which startled Lacy into silence. She peeked around the tree she sat at the base of to see Daryl scrambling to stand up and appear as though he was walking. It was too late though she had seen him. Daryl decided the best way to handle the situation was by completely ignoring it.

“Brought you some meds help ya sleep.” he dug two fingers into the pocket to grab the small white pills and hand them over.

“Wont we have to take turns sleeping?” Lacy asked trying to hide the fatigue in her voice.

“Nah Tyreese can see us from the porch. He and bob are taking turns since neither a them have ta drive tomorrow.” Daryl set to work laying out the blankets he had brought from inside. He threw himself down onto them with a grunt and tucked his hands behind his head.

“Thank you.” Lacy said softly looking away into the darkening sky.

“Fer what?” Daryl replied his curiosity getting the best of him.

“For letting me ride on your bike, for the Journal, for staying out here with me tonight, for
Everything.” She looked back at his face now her heart bursting from her crystal eyes.

“s’Nothin’” Daryl mumbled shifting uncomfortably under Lacy’s gaze. He felt his blood pumping in his veins and his heart quickening. She didn’t look real sitting a few feet away hidden in a veil of total darkness. She could have been a figment of his imagination.

“I think we need a fire.” Daryl averted her gaze as he began clearing away a spot to build a fire between them.

Daryl was quickly able to erect a make shift fire pit as Lacy gazed on, watching his every movement from behind her elbow as she coughed. Daryl managed to scrounge up a decent sized pile of wood and began to set up a bed for the fire. As he did so he would take the occasional glance in Lacy's direction to ensure she was still conscious. He kept waiting for her to take the medicine he brought her. Instead he saw her slip it into her own pocket. Before dazing off with her eye lids only half open.

“Y'all with me red?” Daryl said over his shoulder, a mixture of concern and obligation in his voice.

“Why? You disappointed?” Lacy scoffed with a hint of playfulness in her voice. Her statement followed by a series of coughs.

Daryl smirked slightly, followed by a look of puzzlement. He quickly felt his pockets of the tattered leather vest that dawned his chest, and slowly moved to the pockets of his pants. He had lost his lighter, and panic started to over take him. Trying not to show Lacy his moment of error he calmly and slowly got up and approached her.

Lacy now lying down on her blankets shifted herself up to see an approaching Daryl. His silhouette seemed powerful and comforting. Lacy started to see why the others were drawn to him, and why they followed Daryl and Rick. They made them feel safe, and Lacy started to fall into his web of safety.

“Lax' darlin' I got this” Lacy heard as Daryl passed her. Capitalizing on this alone time Lacy decided to do something she might not get to do for very much longer: she reached into her jacket and pulled out the journal she had been given recently. With it she drew a pen and lost herself in the journals pages, recounted everything that has happened to her since the turn. So little time had passed, yet to her, it felt like years.

Daryl had to be no more than fifteen feet away from Lacy when suddenly something shiny caught his eye. The bright moonlight caught his lighter in the tall dark grass. He bent down, and with a sigh of relief picked it up. He could feel the cold of the metal in his hand. He narrowly dodged a bullet on that one; he had had this later for nearly 10 years, losing it now would have been rough. He started to march over toward Lacy hearing how pained her rasping cough sounded as he approached.

“Let's get some fire started, warm up tha' corpse of yours” This was Daryl’s poor attempt at a joke, which given the circumstances seemed a little inconsiderate.
Lacy made no reply.

“Red? Y'still with me?” Lacy made no sounds. Daryl rushed over and completely forgot about the fire as he went into survival mode. He grabbed her up and quickly pressed his hand to her neck. No pulse. Panicking he looked at her with critical eyes. She was so very pale and frail looking, he looked down at her hands noticing a small amount of blood splattered into her palm. Looking back up to her face he saw the smallest dribble of blood by the corner of her mouth, realizing she had coughed it up. As he put her down to draw his knife he grabbed her wrist...a pulse. “Great” he thought, but then before he could think about being relieved, he quickly realized that if he didn't get Lacy back to the prison and Hershel fast, Lacy wouldn't survive the night. He grabbed her seemingly weightless body and slung her over his shoulder. Adrenaline kicked in and he could feel his heart racing inside of him.

“WAKE UP! MON' WE GOTTA GET BACK TO THE PRISON!” Daryl yelled as the rest of the group rushed out of the house to see what the chaos was about.

“Whats wrong? What is all this commotion about?!” Michone asked but she quickly was able to see the answer before her eyes. “Is she dead?” she asked.

“NO! But if we don' do somethin' fast she will be let’s go! Open the door im puttin' her in the back” Daryl headed toward the door of the vehicle but was met with a sword in his face.

“If you put her in there, with us, you're risking all our lives. And I can't let that happen Dixon” Michone struggled to get these words out. Her face was guilt ridden, but she was firm in her words.

“We gon' do this ri' now? Here? With her in my arms?” Daryl said this in an unfamiliar tone. He sounded angry, just as he had been way back when he met Rick for the first time, when he discovered they had left Merle on that damned roof. Goosebumps ran down his neck, while rage filled his face. Was it love? Fear? Helplessness? Daryl didn't even quite know how to feel.

“Fuck you! Ill bring'er with me then! Y'all better keep up, I ride fast when lives depend on it!” Daryl said this as he jogged over to his bike, Lacy slung over his shoulder like a rug.

“Daryl wait! We don't know if she will turn!” Bob said this with genuine concern in his voice.

“I ain't in a mood to take life advice from a deadbeat alcoholic. Now do somethin' useful and help her up.” Bob fearing potential infection scrambled to find something to cover his face. Daryl picking up on this quickly grabbed a rag and through it in his face in a rather aggressive manor. Time was of the essence.

Knowing Lacy couldn't hold on by herself, Daryl quickly pulled a piece of rope from his pack and tied Lacy to himself as Bob helped lay her into his lap. He could feel her chest heave under her weak breathing. Her heart beat against his leg. He could feel her struggle, such a strong woman, such a weak state. Proving once more the unpredictability of this hell they now live in. Daryl knew this could be the end of him, if she were to turn while he was tethered to her, he would be defenseless. The unrest was clearly visible on his face and Bob soon acknowledged this.

“Daryl, look you don't need to do this, you know that! There are other ways. I could try to give her the medicine.” Bob tried to put Daryl at ease, but to no avail.

“We ain't got time t'try! She needs Hershel!” Daryl revved his bike; the sound filled the area and echoed throughout the property. “If you guys are smart, you'd head out soon, th'sounds gonna bring every geek for miles down on us.”

“DARYL! SHE DROPPED THIS!” Michone screamed over the roar of Daryl’s bike, and quickly tossed him the small bound book. It was Lacy's journal.

Daryl quickly glanced at it, and then hastily tucked it into his vest. He shot a nod of thanks at Michone and the others, and Michone returned the nod, hers more a nod of luck. With one final rev, Daryl sped off into the night, the dirt kicking up under his back tire. The race against time was on. Daryl had to save Lacy; he wouldn't let anyone else he cared about die.