A Will to Survive

Daryl emerged from the prison carrying Lacy’s bag and bow over his shoulder. The string of the bow rubbed against his bare skin as he walked. As he approached he saw her leaning over the fire pit and fanning it.

“Need some help?” he asked eyeing her frame. He noticed how the fabric of her cargo pants pulled tightly as she bent foreword. He quickly looked at the fire pit as her head shot up in his direction at the sound of his voice.

“Not at all.” She smirked as a small blaze began overtaking the twigs and branches that were neatly piled inside the pit. He grabbed a seat by the fire setting her bag down next to him. He had stuffed some of his own belongings in it since his bag was already out here and he was going to bring her the rest of her stuff anyway. At this point all their belongings were mixed together he noticed with a grumble. As Lacy sat beside him he produced a bottle of whisky from within her bag.

“Where’d you get that?” Lacy asked eyeing the bottle cautiously.

“Snagged it from Bob’s stash.“

“Won’t he notice it’s gone?” Lacy asked as Daryl began unscrewing the bottle.

“Maybe.” Daryl shrugged clearly unfazed. Lacy just laughed a little as Daryl took a big swig from the bottle before extending it towards her. He smacked his lips and cleared his throat but seemed all together unbothered by drinking the whisky straight.

“God, Dixon. I should warn you I never drank much in my life. If I wasn’t a light weight before all of this is definitely am now.” She took a gulp from the bottle now throwing her head back and making a face as she downed the cedar tasting substance. She shook her head as the burn lingered. Daryl chuckled beside her.

“I figure we earned ourselves a little recreational time.” Lacy nodded

“Did you tell anyone you were staying out here?” Lacy asked handing the bottle back to him. He leaned forward to grab it before leaning back and answering.

“Told Rick, Carol seemed like she already knew. “ Daryl mumbled looking over the fire swirling the whisky around the bottle.

“How is Rick?” Lacy asked remembering the scratches she had left vividly. Daryl took a swig and thrust the bottle back to her.

“He aint happy but he aint been happy in a while.” Lacy was beginning to feel the buzz of the alcohol a tingling in her toes and warmness in her cheeks.

“Are you happy?” Lacy asked eyeing him in the dancing fire light. The flames made dark shadows under his strong cheek bones it made him look menacing in the most attractive way possible. Daryl didn’t answer her he just made a ‘hmph’noise and snagged the bottle back taking a much larger gulp this time.

“What’s it matter. I’m alive.” Daryl finally said keeping his eyes on the fire still.

“Yeah. You are alive and that makes me happy. But that isn’t what I asked you.” Lacy kept her gaze on his face as he fidgeted with his hands biting at his nails that were filthy and purposefully looking away from her.

“What ‘bout you. Ya happy?” Daryl asked turning the question away from himself along with the whisky.

“Sometimes.” Lacy replied letting a small smile pull at the corners of her lips. The more she looked at him the more butterflies began shooting around in her stomach. She felt so powerful with the whisky there to loosen her lips. She relaxed as he finally met her gaze again.

“Sometimes.” Daryl repeated looking at her it was clear that was his answer too now. Their eyes stayed locked for a long moment. Before Daryl decided to stand up and go hunting though his bag for something. He looked a little less tense a little more wobbly and a lot more attractive, if that were possible, as Lacy watched him move about the little camp. She saw him grab some clothes from her bag and stalk over to the tent that was set up.

She still hadn’t changed from her Day in the mud though Carol Had cleaned off her skin she still looked like a mess. She decided while he was in the tent she could quickly slip into the clothes Carol had left. She pulled the dirt caked clothes away from her skin and tossed them on the ground finding the clothes Carol had left her seemed to be the ones she had shown up in. She smiled at the familiar Levis.

Just as she was pulling the jeans up to her waist Daryl began exiting the tent. He eyed Lacy up and down freezing in place when he saw her changing. The bare skin of her back was pale in the moonlight and the way her waist curved out to her hips had his eyes entranced. What caught his eyes most of all was her tattoo. He hadn’t known about it until now.

There was a large bird surrounded in flames between her shoulder blades. It was hard to make out exactly what the tattoo looked like this far away with her hanging down her back but it looked beautiful. The hues of orange and yellow and red matched her hair perfectly and the birds spread wings danced fluidly over her shoulder blades as she moved. She pulled a black t shirt on over her head he ducked back into the tent not wanting her to know what he had seen. He came back out a second later wearing a much cleaner outfit. He wore a button up denim shirt with the sleeves torn off and a loose pair of jeans with his usual boots. He began walking back towards the fire when he saw a glint in Lacy's eyes.

“What?” He asked plopping down roughly and grabbing the whisky bottle again.

“Nothing.” She replied eyeing him suspiciously. ‘Oh shit” he thought to himself. He was sure she had caught him. ’Fuck it’ the whisky told him.

“Nice tattoo.” He said meeting her eyes with boldness.

“I knew it! How much did you see?” She slurred her words a little crossing her arms and leaning back in her seat.

“Just saws yer tattoo. What is it anyway?” He said his eyes trailing her tight jeans before looking at the fire again. He kept his face turned away as he handed the bottle back to her now that she was sitting.

“It’s a phoenix. I honestly forgot all about it. I guess because I can’t see it myself and I don’t really have time to think about it much anymore. Here.” She turned her back towards the light of the fire and began lifting her shirt up over her shoulders. She piled her hair up onto her head so he could get a better look at her tattoo.

“What ya doin’ woman. Put yer clothes back on.”

“If you’re still saying that you haven’t had enough whisky.” Lacy retorted with a mischievous giggle. Daryl sipped the whisky again and leaned forward now inspecting the tattoo. He had a few of his own one on his shoulder one on the inside of his bicep, looking at hers though he knew his paled in comparison. Up close he could see there was writing in the flames.

Above the bird were the words ‘I am not what I once was’ and below it ‘I am what I continue to become’. Daryl stretched out a hand and grazed his finger tips over her tattoo letting his hand graze her spine as he let it fall. Lacy felt a chill shooting through her body at his touch. Daryl couldn’t believe how soft her skin felt. Lacy pivoted in her seat her breath hitching in her throat at her boldness. She didn’t feel nearly as confident as she was behaving.

Daryl was seated so close behind her watching her carefully as she turned to face him staying completely still. Lacy slowly slid into his chair with him so that her legs were on either side of him. He was rigid in his seat gripping the arms of the chair tightly.

“What ya think yer doin’ “he asked trying to keep his eyes on her face.

“I don’t know but I can tell you what I’m not doing, I’m not over thinking.” Daryl smirked slightly as she repeated his words from earlier. Lacy's lips met Daryl’s and she felt that her heart would beat out of her chest. With their lips moving in rhythm all the world was forgotten the walkers, the death, the pain and the loss all washed away from them. Daryl rested his hands on Lacy's hips now releasing his grip on the chairs arms. He hadn’t brought the whisky out expecting this. He had hoped it would help him feel numb for a while, this was so much better.

Their kissing grew heavier and more urgent. Lacy pulled her lips away and began planting soft kisses along Daryl’s jaw and just under his ear. Every ounce of his body was responding but his mind was beginning to panic. He pulled his head away sharply.

“Whats wrong.” Lacy asked quietly leaning back to look into his eyes.

“Nothin’ I just…” Daryl trailed off he couldn’t meet her eyes anymore. He didn’t know why he had stopped her.

“Hey” Lacy said putting a delicate hand to his chin forcing him to look her in the eyes again.

“We can stop. “ Lacy's heart was heavy she didn’t want to stop her mind was screaming for this to go on forever, to never let the moment end.

“It’s been a long time’s all.” Lacy smiled pushing her hair behind her ear. He loved the way her lips pulled back over her teeth the way her eyes crinkled just a little. She was more beautiful than any girl he had ever kissed.

“Don’t over think it.” Lacy parroted again. She wanted to wipe the doubt off of his face. She could see the hesitation in his gentle blue eyes, the same eyes that could be so steely and fierce.

“Im nuh good fer ya.” Daryl mumbled.

“Don’t even think that. How could you? After all you have done for me. Just let me thank you.” Lacy's voice grew soft and caressing as her words went on she leaned down to Daryl again and softly kissed his lips. He caved to his desire letting her move her kisses along his neck and to his ear. Her soft nibbled and warm breath was making his pants grow tight. He let his hands wander up her small rib cage he felt like he could crush her with his bare hands he restrained himself afraid of hurting her.

“You aren’t going to break me Dixon.” Lacy murmured against his lips. Daryl grabbed a strong hold onto Lacy's thighs lifting her as he stood from the chair and carrying her towards the tent. He tried not to stumble as he navigated blindly. He couldn’t bear to pull away from her captivating kiss. He was glad he had left the tent unzipped earlier. They ducked inside never breaking their lock on each other’s hungrily swirling their tongues in unison.

As Daryl set Lacy down he pulled his shirt off over his head. Before he could wiggle all the way out of it her lips were trailing along his stomach. She was already unbuckling his belt and Daryl felt a rush of relief as some of the strain was lifted and his jeans fell loosely to his knees. He felt a little ridiculous in just boxers and boots but was too occupied to care too much. Daryl bent to Lacy's exposed chest caressing her collar bones with soft kisses as she withered beneath him. Lacy couldn’t keep her eyes open she was too lost in her own body at the sensations that were rippling through her.

Lacy had always shied away from sex she had backed out at the last second or shut down completely to avoid what was happening. This was so different and new. She wondered, as pleasure set her soaring, if she had discovered the difference between sex and making love. Daryl reached behind Lacy to unclasp her tattered bra and tossed it aside. He could have looked at her lying there for the rest of the night but her eager hands weaved into his tangled hair and pulled him down to her darling lips. Every touch her fluttering hands made on him felt like drops of warm honey.

Daryl’s hands shook as he fumbled with her tight jeans and he felt Lacy’s smile against his lips as she reached down to help him. Before long the were entangled in each other’s arms with nothing to inhibit their skin coalesce in their embrace. Daryl broke their impassioned kisses and asked her in a staggered breath with a heaving chest.

“ Ya sure about this Red?”

“I’m more sure now than I’ve ever been.” With that statement, they we off again: spinning endlessly in their mutual ecstasy as if they had never stopped. The haze of alcohol was completely lifted as the adrenaline and urgency with which they melded grabbed hold of them completely. The initial stab of pain was overshadowed and long forgotten as Lacy swirled in a pool of bliss. Daryl could think of nothing but pleasing Lacy. Anything she reacted to he tried to memorize. He quickly caught on to what she desired feeling so much more enjoyment from witnessing hers. Lacy was amazed by Daryl’s expert movements and arched her back as she felt her peek approach.

“Daryl” Lacy couldn’t help bet yell out in the privacy of the tent. Daryl felt goose bumps shooting across his back hearing his name on her lips. Lacy's toes curled and her fingers dug into Daryl’s shoulder clutching him as close to her as physically possible as white light blossomed behind her eyelids. Daryl couldn’t contain himself any longer Lacy's peek was enough to send his rocketing into view. Daryl sank into Lacy's embrace panting under sudden exhaustion. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so good. Both of them were out of breath and sweating but Lacy couldn’t help the string of giggles that erupted from her now.

“What?” Daryl asked fighting the smirk that was tugging on the corners of his mouth.

“I’m just happy.” Lacy said between giggles. Daryl had never been one for cuddling but he hated the feeling of separation he was having. He pulled her back to him cupping himself around her and burying his face in her neck.

“I’m happy too.” His southern growl barley reaching Lacy's ears. Lacy began quoting one of her favorite poets to Daryl not stopping to feel embarrassed by the sappiness of the moment while in his embrace.

“The moment eternal - just that and no more - When ecstasy's utmost we clutch at the core While cheeks burn, arms open, eyes shut, and lips meet.”

“What’s that?” Daryl asked recognizing the rhythm she was speaking in to be different from her own.

“One of my favorite poets. Robert Browning.” Lacy stated stroking Daryl’s forearm lightly.

“I don’t know no poetry ta quote ya.” Daryl said his hot breath on Lacy's neck.

“That’s okay, English major remember? Ill quote the poetry and you keep doing everything you just did. Then we never leave this tent again and live happily ever after.” Daryl chuckled the rumble from his chest was soothing against Lacy's back.

“Wouldn’t that be somethin’” Daryl sighed tracing Lacy's tattoo with his calloused fingers. Lacy began to wiggle out of Daryls grasp

“What ya doin’ ?” Daryl asked.

“Shouldn’t we get dressed?” Lacy asked pushing her hair out of her face.

“uh uh get back here.” Daryl said bear hugging Lacy's small frame back to his chest.

“I aint done with ya yet.”