Pyro
I/I
“One day you’re going to start a fire with your matches, you unsafe oaf.”
“I thought you enjoyed arson, brother.”
“Surely it isn’t arson when it’s your own property.”
“Neither of us have law degrees, so neither of us are wrong.”
“Oh so diplomatic, Thor; let us just face that I am always right.”
“No, brother, for you are not always right; an example of this is when you attempted to convince me that the latest Kings of Leon release is by far their best – you were wrong, not only because my friends and I disagreed but also the all-knowing NME disagreed with you. Six out of ten stars, Loki, that is not their best.”
“I understand completely, I like only four of their songs, all I was saying was that Supersoaker is one of my favourite Kings of Leon songs and, probably, one of their best. I was not applying that to the whole album. Perhaps you should listen to my sentences in full, Thor, rather than merely selecting fragments of my speech.”
“I love listening to you speak, brother, it’s one of the great joys of my life.”
“Oh, stop it, you.”
“I’m being sincere.”
“I know you are, but you’ll make me weep in embarrassment.”
“-”
“-”
“Hearing you rant about Carl Barât’s wasted talent, or professing your overwhelming adoration of Johnny Marr, or reciting Shakespearean soliloquies whilst you make lunch, or screaming the answers at the television when University Challenge and Pointless on are all things I look forward to when I return home. Despite not understanding half of what you blather on about, I listen and I take it in. I become engulfed in delight when we can both discuss something, yet I manage to make a tit of myself, like not fully listening to what you’re telling me. I apologize, brother, it’s just, I’m a rather excitable fellow.”
“You’re one of the most darling people I know, Thor. You are the beacon of light to dark souls such as myself.”
“You wish you were a dark soul, Loki – you’re made of marshmallows underneath that hard exterior. You’re like one of those marshmallows you accidentally leave out and it dries and has this shell-like coating, but once you sink your teeth into it, the marshmallow is still soft on the inside.”
“Are you saying I’m a stale and crusty marshmallow?”
“Effectively, I am.”
“I’m going to impale you, brother dearest.”
“With what, Loki, my honey-bear? Your sword? Your dagger? A pole you happened to have on your person?”
“You attempts at sexual innuendos are shameful. If you wish for me to impale you on my sword, you must only request.”
“So it goes.”
“Did you just q-”
“Quote Kurt Vonnegut? Yes, I did, Loki; I wasn't lying when I told you I enjoyed Slaughterhouse 5. I do read occasionally.”
“-”
“You said you had bought Jake Bugg’s new album, we must listen to it.”
“Turn the stereo on, I must fetch it from my bag.”
“Hurry yourself, Loki – we’ve been waiting a year to hear this!”
“I know, I won’t be any faster with you pestering me.”
“-”
“-”
“Loki, is the stereo plugged in?”
“I thought you enjoyed arson, brother.”
“Surely it isn’t arson when it’s your own property.”
“Neither of us have law degrees, so neither of us are wrong.”
“Oh so diplomatic, Thor; let us just face that I am always right.”
“No, brother, for you are not always right; an example of this is when you attempted to convince me that the latest Kings of Leon release is by far their best – you were wrong, not only because my friends and I disagreed but also the all-knowing NME disagreed with you. Six out of ten stars, Loki, that is not their best.”
“I understand completely, I like only four of their songs, all I was saying was that Supersoaker is one of my favourite Kings of Leon songs and, probably, one of their best. I was not applying that to the whole album. Perhaps you should listen to my sentences in full, Thor, rather than merely selecting fragments of my speech.”
“I love listening to you speak, brother, it’s one of the great joys of my life.”
“Oh, stop it, you.”
“I’m being sincere.”
“I know you are, but you’ll make me weep in embarrassment.”
“-”
“-”
“Hearing you rant about Carl Barât’s wasted talent, or professing your overwhelming adoration of Johnny Marr, or reciting Shakespearean soliloquies whilst you make lunch, or screaming the answers at the television when University Challenge and Pointless on are all things I look forward to when I return home. Despite not understanding half of what you blather on about, I listen and I take it in. I become engulfed in delight when we can both discuss something, yet I manage to make a tit of myself, like not fully listening to what you’re telling me. I apologize, brother, it’s just, I’m a rather excitable fellow.”
“You’re one of the most darling people I know, Thor. You are the beacon of light to dark souls such as myself.”
“You wish you were a dark soul, Loki – you’re made of marshmallows underneath that hard exterior. You’re like one of those marshmallows you accidentally leave out and it dries and has this shell-like coating, but once you sink your teeth into it, the marshmallow is still soft on the inside.”
“Are you saying I’m a stale and crusty marshmallow?”
“Effectively, I am.”
“I’m going to impale you, brother dearest.”
“With what, Loki, my honey-bear? Your sword? Your dagger? A pole you happened to have on your person?”
“You attempts at sexual innuendos are shameful. If you wish for me to impale you on my sword, you must only request.”
“So it goes.”
“Did you just q-”
“Quote Kurt Vonnegut? Yes, I did, Loki; I wasn't lying when I told you I enjoyed Slaughterhouse 5. I do read occasionally.”
“-”
“You said you had bought Jake Bugg’s new album, we must listen to it.”
“Turn the stereo on, I must fetch it from my bag.”
“Hurry yourself, Loki – we’ve been waiting a year to hear this!”
“I know, I won’t be any faster with you pestering me.”
“-”
“-”
“Loki, is the stereo plugged in?”
♠ ♠ ♠
Cary Grant at the top is necessary, so screw all those who think he isn't. Cary Grant is always necessary.