Killer

Sidney stood at the door of Rylie’s room with his heart in his throat, unable to turn the knob his fingers were gripping so tightly. He was terrified to see the human he’d been trying so hard to put out of his mind. So terrified of seeing the memories, trophies, a room that mimicked his own and remind him of all the promise he’d stolen for one stupid goal. But as he tried to keep the blood at bay, Annie came to his mind. Her amber eyes staring into his, alive and full of emotion, replaced the cold, dead eyes of Rylie. The way her eyes had fluttered closed before she kissed him, taking the place of her brother’s staying open as Sidney was pulled from the ice. Feeling her heartbeat against his chest when she hugged him wiping away the memory of feeling Rylie’s stop. She had already done so much to keep his nightmares away, to help him start to put himself back together, and now she needed him.

With that he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before finally opening the door. It creaked eerily and Sidney couldn’t keep the thoughts of horror movies from his mind and he flipped on the light. As his warm brown eyes took in the room he finally understood why Annie couldn’t bear to enter, it was so filled with memories that it nearly suffocated Sidney. He felt like all the photos of Rylie with old girlfriends and gripping his sister tightly were weighing down on his chest, slowly crushing him as his ribs gave way before cracking under the pressure. He turned to leave, feeling as though he might drown in Rylie of he didn’t, but he thought of Annie again.

If he was having this difficult of a time, he couldn’t even imagine what this must be like for her. How was she breathing? How was she going on, especially having to do all this alone? The thought weighted on his already heavy mind as he forced himself to turn back, knowing he was all the poor girl had left right now. He let his eyes move over all the photos again until he saw something that caught his attention. His heart stopped as he walked over to a framed photo, his feet moving on their own as he took in the only photo above Rylie’s bed.

A signed picture of Sidney from his rookie year. He was celebrating a goal in the photo cheering loudly, and most likely cursing knowing himself, with a stupid grin on his face. Right on the photo was his handwriting, sloppy and illegible as usual.

Rylie,
Keep up the good work, and I hope to see you on the ice someday!
Sidney Crosby

Sidney felt a wave of nausea as he struggled to remember signing this, but so many photos were shoved at him every day that nothing came to mind. He fell against the wall, his hand the only thing keeping him upright as the floodgates burst open, bringing back the tidal wave of blood, those glassy eyes, Rylie begging his idol to save him. It was too much as Sidney felt tears sting his eyes, blurring his vision as he struggled to keep from throwing up.

He felt arms around his waist, a face pressing into his back, and turned around to see Annie, tears rolling down her cheeks as she gripped Sidney tightly. She was shaking again, worse than he had ever seen her do before. He was about to wipe his eyes and try to comfort her, but her words cut him off.

“It’s okay Sidney.” She whimpered. “We’re going to be okay.” He didn’t even know what to say to her attempts to console him, so he simply gripped her back, running a hand through her hair before nuzzling his face into it, breathing in the scent of her shampoo and letting the vanilla enwrap him and take him away from the dark place he’d entered. But as Rylie’s blood started coming back, he knew he needed something else, something stronger than Annie’s comforting scent. He needed her, she was the only medication he could hope for, the only thing that could take his mind off that crimson ice.

He tilted her chin up, looking into her eyes, those perfect, shining eyes lined with those long lashes. They were swollen and red from crying so much, her nose red and her dark hair wild and unkempt. She was an absolute disaster, but he’d never seen a more beautiful woman. A voice in the farthest reaches of his mind, the logic driven away by the disturbing images in his head, begged him not to do what he was thinking of. But he needed to hide from the grief, the horror, and he knew she did too. So without a word he pressed his lips to hers, gripping a handful of her hair and begging her to respond. She was stoic for what felt like eons, but finally she kissed him back.

He wasted no time, scooping her up in his arms and getting her out of that horrible place, shutting the door before the memories could catch them and drag the two of them back down. They’d dealt with enough death, and right now they needed to celebrate life. So Sidney kept his lips to hers in a soft, sweet kiss, letting her arms wrap around his neck as he walked her into her bedroom.

He tasted like the oatmeal he’d eaten for breakfast, but his lips were so soft she didn’t care. When she was in Sidney’s arms there was no funeral to be arranged, no body waiting in the funeral home, there was nothing but Sidney’s warm, strong hands as he set her down so gently before crawling over her. He pressed another soft kiss to her lips before letting them trail down her neck, causing her to tremble, but not from grief. She hadn’t been with anyone since Rylie was in the juniors, men never understanding why she always had to ditch them to go to her brother’s games.

But Sidney was so different from all of them, from any man she’d ever heard of. He looked into her eyes like they were on their honeymoon, not hiding from the inevitability of what was in her brother’s room. Every touch was soft, hesitant almost, as if he was afraid he might hurt her. And the way he looked into her eyes made her heart flutter, she had never felt so beautiful before as he just stopped, looking at her in complete awe. And as he sat up to pull off his shirt, she couldn’t resist to sit up and do it for him, kissing every inch of skin she could find to just try and make this last as long as possible.

He could barely breathe as she kissed him so softly, the feeling of her lips on his skin sending a wildfire through his bones. And when the fabric finally came off, her slender fingers just sliding over his chest, Sidney couldn’t help but lunge at her, needing to get something off the stunning woman under him. So he returned her favor, his rough hands making her stomach seem even silkier as he slid her shirt up and off. She breathed his name, her eyes fluttering shut, and Sidney just froze. In that moment, he couldn’t imagine a single other place he’d rather be then right here with her in his arms. He leaned down, kissing her softly to savor the moment. But just before he was about to say something he might have regretted, a knock echoed through the apartment.

They both sat up, Sidney hopping up and helping her onto the carpet before pulling her shirt back on for her. She just looked at him before doing to same, kissing his collar bone before the fabric hid it from her once again. He just looked at her for a long time, both of them wondering if maybe whoever had knocked just kept them from making a huge mistake as Annie cleared her throat.

“I should-”

“SIDNEY CROSBY!” They both froze at the holler from the front door, a voice unfamiliar to them both. He looked at Annie, boldly taking her hand as he walked her to the front door, wrapping an arm around her waist He kissed her temple, silently promising everything would be alright as he finally opened the door. He felt his heart drop when he saw the two police officers before him, their eyes hidden by reflective sunglasses, making them seem inhuman as one of them pushed Annie away before grabbing Sidney. “Sidney Crosby, you’re under arrest for the voluntary manslaughter of Rylie Beckett. You have the right to remain silent…”

Sidney’s ears began ringing as the officer not speaking turned him around, pulling his arms behind him before slamming them into handcuffs. He spun around to see Annie, tears running down her face as she just stood there, completely frozen. He had no idea how long it would be until he could see a judge, how long until he could pay his bail and hold her in his arms again. He had no idea if she would be able to hold on without him, to move forward without completely losing her sanity. He was so much more terrified for her then himself, even if he’d be locked up with thieves and murderers for God knew how long. As the officer detaining him began to shove him out the door, Sidney fought back, turning to look at his reflection in the sunglasses.

“Please, let me just say goodbye.” He pleaded. The officer looked at him for a long time before letting go, and Annie ran to Sidney, gripping him. He wanted to hold her, but the handcuffs bit at the skin of his wrists when he tried. So he just pressed his cheek to hers, trying to memorize just how soft her skin was.

“I didn’t do this Sidney.” She whispered, gripping him tightly.

“I know.” He promised. As he pulled away, he pressed his forehead to hers, his dark eyes searching hers as they caught in the sunlight outside, making them sparkle. “Annie, I…” He wanted to say it, he wanted to give those words to her more than anything in the world, but they wouldn’t leave him. He knew it was too much, that she was still fragile. So he sighed, pressing his lips to her forehead. “You can do this, be strong for me okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Sidney.” She murmured, letting her hands move up into his hair. “I forgive you.” He blinked back tears, nuzzling his face against her hair again until he was pulled away. And as the door closed, he wished he could have had the courage to tell her he was falling in love with her.