Bella

It had been roughly a month since Acel and I last lay in the grass together, our hands entwined. It had been roughly a month since we last had a chat about the feelings we simply could not explain to each other. But as usual, I was in the Acel’s bed underneath the covers, with him. “I’ve been thinking,” he started by saying. He rubbed his bare leg against mine and placed his hand on my hip, his thumb pressing into it. “I’ve been thinking about leaving.”

“I predicted that this was coming.” Acel had been a bit off lately, staring deeply into thought. At first, I thought that maybe I’d flustered him with the questions about loving me that he simply could not answer. But I’d noticed a change in the way he looked at me, how he’d changed from looking at me as if he adored me to looking at me as if I he was only spending time with me because he had nothing better to do.

It dawned on me that I’d be alone again once he left, but I knew that he wanted to leave. I closed my eyes and simply breathed in the scent of his comforter, attempting to drown in them. Acel pressed his underwear-clad hips to mine, our pelvic bones grinding into each other. Periodically he would do things like this and I knew it was because he was horny. I opened my eyes and sighed in content, curling my fingers around his forearm.

“Did you ever catch onto the fact that I love you?”

I shook my head, stiffening just slightly. “You shouldn’t say things in which you don’t mean. A month ago, you couldn’t even say that you believe in love.”

“A month ago,” he repeated. “A month ago, I was confused in how I felt about you. All I knew was that kissing you and the taste of your lips was better than any marijuana, ecstasy, or whatever the hell else I’ve ever done. I’ve spent some time trying to unravel the feelings that I had for you.” He stopped grating his pelvic into mine. “I know what I feel for you now, though. And I’m pretty sure it has the title of ‘Love.’” He left me throbbing where I shouldn’t simply with impulse.

I shook my head again. “I feel as if you’re still confused, as if you’re altering your feelings just so you can tell me what I want to hear. You don’t have to lie to me, Acel. I completely understand if you don’t feel anything for me.”

He placed his knees on either side of me, pressing his hip bones into mine again. I let go of his forearms as he began lifting the hem of my blue tank top. He dragged the tip of his nails along my stomach, lightly grazing over it, sending a cold shiver down my back. “I’m not lying, though. I’ve never lied to you, Bella, and I don’t plan on lying to you now.”

He slipped his hands underneath my bra, running his thumbs lightly over my breasts. “What are you doing? You’ve never touched me like this before.”

“Perhaps, but I’ve been wanting to. I’m not going to do anything too lethal, I promise,” he said, whispering the last two words into my ear. I reacted with a simple arch of my back. Underneath the covers, he stripped my lower half. “Do you whine as melodically as you speak?”

Before I could construct a half-logical response, he silenced me by using his thumb to rub me and his other hand to stick his fingers inside me. I stiffened and pressed up into his hand. I had done this once before, with Jason, of course, because this was the most Acel had ever done to me. The sounds that I could muster up were just small moans that acted as signs to urge my boyfriend to go on.

He begged, “Say my name, Bella. Please.” And I gave in to his request, sputtering out his name unsteadily. I wanted more, but I knew he wouldn’t do it, for we both knew that we weren’t ready to take the next step with each other, and for I knew that he didn’t love me.