Bella

“For the last time, Acel, you look fine. You’ve fixed your tie more times than I can count,” Emory said. I drove down to her house, deciding to bunk with her instead of paying one hundred a night to sleep at a hotel. “The funeral is in an hour. I’m sure Bella’s waiting on you.”

I shrugged my shoulders, fixed my tie one more time. “Em, can you hand me my blazer?” She sighed, did so. I slid it on and buttoned it in the mirror.

I thought I looked fairly decent. My tie was straight, for the most part, and my dark hair was combed back. “Acel,” Emory complained. “Get out of the mirror and go over there to Bella. Don’t make her think that you stood her up.”

“How can you stand someone up when you’re going to a funeral? It’s not like we’re not going on a date.”

She hit me in the arm and pushed out of the bedroom, pushing my keys and my cigarettes into my hands. “Go, now. You have no more reason to be here at the moment. I’ll see you when the funeral’s over.” I knew not to protest with Emory. I never got anywhere when I did.

I trudged down the stairs, sliding my cigarettes and my keys into my pocket. Outside, it was colder than Louisa. I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my pants and walked across the street to the Davis household. I knocked on the door, gently and consistently, and then returned my hand to my pocket.

I could hear mumbles on the other side of the door and movement. And it took the Davis family approximately three minutes and twenty-three seconds to actually open the door, not that I was counting. Mr. Davis stood in the doorway, dressed in a suit and tie, and Mrs. Davis wore a black sweater dress that ended a couple inches above her knee. “It’s nice to see you here,” Gunner said. “You clean up well.”

“Thank you. You both look quite fancy, as well. Did Bella still want me to tag along or should I go home?” I didn’t mean to sound rude. I just didn’t want to be wasting time.

Tyler’s smile faltered. “She did, she did. Please don’t think that she didn’t. It’s just that the two of us have had no luck in getting her to leave her room. I tried to call Jasper to see if he could do it, and he tried, but so far, we’ve had no luck.”

I chewed on my lip in thought. “Would you mind if I gave it a try?”

Gunner moved to the side, as well as his wife. “By all means,” he said. “Go ahead.”

I thanked the pair quickly and went up the stairs. I missed being inside of they’re house. It was always so much warmer and homier than mine. I tried the knob of Bella’s door just to find out that it was locked. I reached up and grabbed for the key on top of the doorframe. Why had no one thought of that before? I unlocked the door and went into her room, but not before returning the key to its home.

Bella wasn’t hard to miss. She sat just in front of her bed, half-naked, her knees to her chest and her arms circling them. She was crying; I knew by the way she was quivering and the hiccups that emitted her. “Bella,” I cooed.

She looked up just slightly, revealing bloodshot eyes. “I didn’t think you’d show.” Her voice was quiet, hard to hear, but I managed.

“Why wouldn’t I?” She didn’t answer me. “Whatever it is, I’m sure that it’ll be fine soon. Get dressed, Bella. You’ve got a funeral to attend.”

“Jasper and I don’t date anymore.”

“Why?” I questioned, helping her up as I did so.

She smiled softly, even laughing some. “I don’t love him. My heart is somewhere else.”



The funeral was solemn and enough tears were shed to create a river. Bella stuck to my side, in her black pencil skirt and white button down. She wore a blazer over her shoulders, black to match everything else. I’d always hated funerals, but I wasn’t going to tell that to Bella.

I wanted to be anywhere but here. It just smelled like death and old people inside of the church, and the priest was all but sarcastic when he said, “She died much too young.” I could tell by his tone. Maybe it was because he knew the girl and dreaded her. Or perhaps it was because, from what I’d heard, Stacy wasn’t the most innocent child. Whatever it was, it wasn’t appropriate for a funeral.

Next to us, Stacy’s parents were weeping, mostly her mother. I felt bad for the two, losing their daughter in such an awful way. Bella was holding together well, though. She shed a few tears, but that was all.

Bella picked up my hand in hers, started rubbing her thumb gently across the back of my hand. “Can we leave now?” she whispered. “I can only keep this up for so long.” She didn’t wait for my reply. Bella let go of my hand and stood up, grabbing her carryall from behind her. “C’mon,” she said, grabbing my hand again and pulling me from the church pew.

I followed her outside silently. “It’s much colder out here than inside, y’know?” I’m sure she did. I pulled out the box of cigarettes from my pocket and lit on, placing it in between my lips.

“I know.”

“Do you want a cigarette? Since you’ve got into a new lifestyle in all,” I mused. “I’m guessing that that was the reason you shot for Jasper. He let you do whatever you want.” When she didn’t reply, I continued. “I won’t hold you back anymore, Bella. You’re old enough to make your own choices.”

Bella scoffed. “I make bad choices by myself.” She shook her head and sighed. “No, I don’t want a cigarette.”

“Good. You weren’t getting one anyway.”

I could see her smile from the corner of my eye. “Then why did you ask?” Bella walked in front of me and wrapped me in an embrace, careful not to knock the cigarette from my hold. “I’ve missed you so much! I don’t think you understand how much you coming here today means to me!” I wrapped my free arm around her waist, hugging her back. Bella smelled like lemons and I didn’t want to let her go.

“I’ve missed you, too, even if I don’t act like it.”

“Do you forgive me, Acel? Do you think that you could ever bring yourself to forgive me? I’ve done a lot of shit in the past few months, but I’m trying. I’m trying to get better.”

I nodded my head and blew exhaled smoke. “Of course I can forgive you. I’m no better than you are. And since we’re talking about forgiveness, I hope you can forgive me for leaving you in a time of need.” I took a deep breath. “But I wasn’t getting better and I couldn’t stay in a place where I was getting into fights all the time over drugs and other things. I should be the one begging for your forgiveness.”

“I was always a bit suspicious about that…”

“Yeah,” I said, laughing a bit because it was all a bit stupid. “You were in love with a wimpy drug addict.”

“I still am in love with you.”

“I know.”

We were silent again, listening to each other’s breathing. “Is it just me?” she asked. “Is it just me that’s still in love?”

“Bella, I never stopped loving you. I was so aloof because I wanted you to stop loving me. I don’t benefit you at all,” I explained. “You deserve so much better than me, Bella. You—”

She exhaled sharply before cutting me off and saying, “You don’t get to make those decisions for me. You’re the best bad decision that I’ve ever made.” Bella held on to me tightly. “Stay with me, Acel. Stay here.”

“I can’t. I’ve got a job. But I’ll tell you this,” I said, pausing to put my cigarette behind my ear. “I promise to visit you every weekend because I love you, I love you, I love you and it hurts to be without you. And when you graduate, we can run away together.” I tilted my head down to kiss her briefly. “Because I love you, I love you, I love you and it hurts to be without you.”