Status: Chapters coming...
The Short Life and Tragic Death of Stevie Daniels
Stubbon
John waited outside of my room as the doctors tired to get my lungs off the machine again, even if it was just a little bit they wanted them to be working on their own. Which they weren’t, of course.
John wasn’t allowed in the room while they worked on me, because he wasn’t family. This also meant my band wasn’t allowed in.
They gave up trying after awhile, discourage the doctor and nurse left the room. John came in right after the doctor left, getting the attention of the nurse from before. “Whats going on?” he asked
"I’m sorry, Sir. But I’m only allowed to tell her family-"
"I’m her fiance. Is that close enough?" he asked, taking her small hand in both of his large ones. He was a liar. We weren’t engaged. He never asked me to marry him.
"Oh sweetie." she said and sighed. "She still isn’ t responding to us turning down the amount of oxygen the machine is giving her body. I’m about to give her some steroids, to maybe make her lungs stronger."
John nodded. “Can I stay in the room for that?” he asked
She said yes. He sat on the couch and looked at me.
He looked at me two different ways now, and both cut me deep. One was hopeful, pleading, any emotion you could think of was rolled into this look and it was meant for me. I couldn’t help him, I didn’t know what to do. The second look was passive, not truly there. Like I wasn’t there, regardless of the fact his eyes were on me.
He was holding my hand, but his eyes held the second look.
As the nurse brought the needle to my arm John winced. She laughed and asked, “Don’t like needles?”
"No," he answered. "She doesn’t. You should have seen her get those tattoos."
"Why’d she get them then?"
"She’s stubborn." he laughed, some light coming back to his face. "Always stubborn."
"The best women are." she told him and left the room.
Damn straight.
"Stubboron." He laughed.
"I told her we were engaged. I hope you don’t mind." he sighed "Though you never were partial about marriage, which always kinda got me."
There was a pause.
"Remember our first date? Where I stupidly enough brought marriage up? You just scoffed and told me that you were never getting married. I was kind of hurt, as stupid as that sounds, you weren’t laughing at the thought of marrying me, but rather the thought of marriage at all. I shouldn’t have taken it personally, but I did."
At this point I wanted to cry. I didn’t cry when I woke up dead, but this made me want to cry, I felt the pressure of tears but no wetness. I guess ghosts- or whatever I am- can’t cry.
"Because," he continued. "I knew I wanted you to be the one I marry. The woman I had my kids with. I don’t want that with anyone else. I’ll never want that with anyone else."
He paused sucking in a breath. “I wish I did this before you were- you know…”
Dying? I asked
"I know it’s stupid- but I bought a ring. And whats even more stupid is that I brought it with me. Forgot a change of underwear, but I brought this." He laughed to himself. "I’m not going to get on one knee, because I want to do that when you’re cognizant, but I want to marry you Stevie Daniels, and I pray that WHEN you wake up, you’ll say yes, because I won’t do this with anyone else."
He took out the ring, beautiful- antique in style, and slid it onto my unresponsive finger. He got up and kissed my forehead.
"Sir?" the nurse asked coming into the room.
"Yes?" he asked looking up from me.
"Visitor hours are over."
"Oh…" he trailed off, looking down while taking my ring-clad hand in his own.
She sighed. “You can stay.” She whispered and shut the light off. “But shh. “
John smiled and nodded at her as she left the room, closing the door behind her, moving the reclining chair closer to my bed before taking my hand back.
"I love you, Stevie." he sighed.
It wasn’t until he was asleep that I worked up the nerve to talk regardless of the fact he wouldn’t hear me.
I’ll marry you John. But if I die, which I might- which I probably will, you’ll find someone else. That tear pressure came back to my eyes. You have to. You have to promise me.
I heard no promises.
John wasn’t allowed in the room while they worked on me, because he wasn’t family. This also meant my band wasn’t allowed in.
They gave up trying after awhile, discourage the doctor and nurse left the room. John came in right after the doctor left, getting the attention of the nurse from before. “Whats going on?” he asked
"I’m sorry, Sir. But I’m only allowed to tell her family-"
"I’m her fiance. Is that close enough?" he asked, taking her small hand in both of his large ones. He was a liar. We weren’t engaged. He never asked me to marry him.
"Oh sweetie." she said and sighed. "She still isn’ t responding to us turning down the amount of oxygen the machine is giving her body. I’m about to give her some steroids, to maybe make her lungs stronger."
John nodded. “Can I stay in the room for that?” he asked
She said yes. He sat on the couch and looked at me.
He looked at me two different ways now, and both cut me deep. One was hopeful, pleading, any emotion you could think of was rolled into this look and it was meant for me. I couldn’t help him, I didn’t know what to do. The second look was passive, not truly there. Like I wasn’t there, regardless of the fact his eyes were on me.
He was holding my hand, but his eyes held the second look.
As the nurse brought the needle to my arm John winced. She laughed and asked, “Don’t like needles?”
"No," he answered. "She doesn’t. You should have seen her get those tattoos."
"Why’d she get them then?"
"She’s stubborn." he laughed, some light coming back to his face. "Always stubborn."
"The best women are." she told him and left the room.
Damn straight.
"Stubboron." He laughed.
"I told her we were engaged. I hope you don’t mind." he sighed "Though you never were partial about marriage, which always kinda got me."
There was a pause.
"Remember our first date? Where I stupidly enough brought marriage up? You just scoffed and told me that you were never getting married. I was kind of hurt, as stupid as that sounds, you weren’t laughing at the thought of marrying me, but rather the thought of marriage at all. I shouldn’t have taken it personally, but I did."
At this point I wanted to cry. I didn’t cry when I woke up dead, but this made me want to cry, I felt the pressure of tears but no wetness. I guess ghosts- or whatever I am- can’t cry.
"Because," he continued. "I knew I wanted you to be the one I marry. The woman I had my kids with. I don’t want that with anyone else. I’ll never want that with anyone else."
He paused sucking in a breath. “I wish I did this before you were- you know…”
Dying? I asked
"I know it’s stupid- but I bought a ring. And whats even more stupid is that I brought it with me. Forgot a change of underwear, but I brought this." He laughed to himself. "I’m not going to get on one knee, because I want to do that when you’re cognizant, but I want to marry you Stevie Daniels, and I pray that WHEN you wake up, you’ll say yes, because I won’t do this with anyone else."
He took out the ring, beautiful- antique in style, and slid it onto my unresponsive finger. He got up and kissed my forehead.
"Sir?" the nurse asked coming into the room.
"Yes?" he asked looking up from me.
"Visitor hours are over."
"Oh…" he trailed off, looking down while taking my ring-clad hand in his own.
She sighed. “You can stay.” She whispered and shut the light off. “But shh. “
John smiled and nodded at her as she left the room, closing the door behind her, moving the reclining chair closer to my bed before taking my hand back.
"I love you, Stevie." he sighed.
It wasn’t until he was asleep that I worked up the nerve to talk regardless of the fact he wouldn’t hear me.
I’ll marry you John. But if I die, which I might- which I probably will, you’ll find someone else. That tear pressure came back to my eyes. You have to. You have to promise me.
I heard no promises.