Status: Complete | Finished <3

Southern Love

It can't be real

Vic's P.O.V.

​​​​​I just couldn't believe what happened. Kellin broke up with me, we were over. It couldn't be real, it just couldn't be. Yet, it was. The pain was intense, more than it had ever been. As I layed down on my bed, tears couldn't just stop falling. I was angry, but more than everything, I was devasted. How could he say he loved me so much he had to let me go? How could he say something like that? If he really did loved me, he wouldn't have betrayed me. He wouldn't have done something like that. Do you know how it feels to feel your heart break into millions of little pieces inside of you? Do you know how it is to feel it explode in you, hurting you in every single way possible. It's worst than being burned alive. It just takes away all of your feelings, that life inside of you, your strenght, your desire to live. I felt empty, so dead. No words can explain how much of a mess I was. I've been so dumb. Stupid love. Why do we get attached to people when all they do is leave and never come back. Some say some of them come back, but my hope flew away, all the good in me just left my body. I've be so stupid to think that someone like Kellin could fall in love with me, I've been so naive to give him all of my trust, giving him all of me. I didn't want it to be real, I was just wishing it was a terrible nightmare, but I failed at waking up, it was reality. Kellin was my reason to smile, to fight, to go on in life...but now he was gone. I had nothing left, nothing.

​Time flew slowly, but I didn't care. I just wanted to lay in bed forever. I was impressed of how many tears could fall from my own eyes. The pain was just to real, I felt like time could never erase it. Why did he have to do this me? I would have done everything for him, give him everything. I would have given him my own life because I'm madly in love with this boy. How could he not noticed it? I thought my breakup with Jenna was a tough one. Yet, it was sweet delicious candy compared to this one. This one was like a stone hitting your head taking it away on its fall. When I was younger, I thought people were stupid to get so depressed after a breakup. Now I get it. The pain just reminded me of everything. Every second, the pain provoked flashbacks of me and Kellin: our kisses, the first time we had sex, his laugh...all of him. I just wanted everything to stop. ​​​​Life is so unfair. What have I done to this life? Why can't it just let me me be happy and live my life the way I want?

​It was already 10PM and I was in need of something that would help me forget: alcohol. Lots of alcohol. I didn't care of what I looked like. Usually, I would take time to fix my hair and dress clean, but what was the matter when my reason to do it was gone. I made my way to the bar where there was already a mass of people dancing. I sat at the bar and ordered a few shots. As the night went out, I kept drinking. I was drunk. And there is one thing I love to do when I'm drunk: dance. I made my way to the dancefloor and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. ​​​​The music was terrible, but I didn't care. I showed my best moves to the crowd that didn't give a damn about me. Usually, Kellin would have been there with me, but now he wasn't. I was on my own, I would always be. I was so dizzy, and it was so hot in there. Blame it on the alcohol I guess. It helped me forget about Kellin a little, but a part of my mind couldn't forget. It was too hard to forget everything we shared, it was impossible. I started not to feel good. I couldn't have fun anymore, I was afraid I'd never will. I exited the bar and made my way to the beach, THE beach.

​The moon was beautiful that night. Perfectly round. The sky was filled up with stars, they were my only friends now. I sat on the sand. Just the feeling of it made the tears fall down again. Why does everything have to remind me of Kellin? Is this what my entire life is going to be like for now? Everything I'll do will remind of that guy who broke my heart in million, but who I'm still madly in love with and that I'd do anything to get him back. Anything. I was cut off of my own horrible and desperates thoughts as I felt a weird and well-known feeling in my stomach. ​​​​In a second, I threw up all of the alcohol I've drunk that night, there was a lot of it. I felt pitty for myself, I could have never imagine I could turn into such a miserable shit. My friends would probably laugh at me right now. I have always been that confident yet sensitive kid who would always find a way to see the good in the bad. I wasn't him anymore and I would never be it again. There was only one thing I wanted more than everything: Kellin. And there's no way I'm getting him back. The thought of him will never leave me alone, the pain will never fade away.

​I stood up and my legs were shaking. But all of this pain was about to stop. Forever. I walked slowly towards the water. The feeling of the cold water on my feet reminded me I was still alive, and that is was the latest thing I wanted. If I die, I'll never feel the pain again. I have always been someone who believed there was something after life on Earth. I believed I'd see Kellin again, soon. I believed that in this other life, nothing could seperate us anymore, that he'd want me back, because we would have the infinity in front of us. I took a deep breath and kept walking through the water, just if I was trying to join the moon. The water was so cold, it would be the last thing I'd feel from my living.

​''I'll always love you Kellin, we'll see each other again, I promise.'' I talked to myself. ​​​​​​​​

​And I took a last breath, kept walking in this cold water of the night, until no part of my body could be seen above the water. Say goodbye to the pain, something better is waiting for me on the other side. ​​​​
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