Southern Love

It's been almost a week since Kellin moved in with my family and me. It has been an incredible week so far. I've shown Kellin all the cool places around town, we went on dates every single night with the benefits it provides and the most important; I've fallen even more deeply in love with him. Today, we had in mind to plan our wedding. We couldn't wait any longer, we just couldn't to be married. I had in mind a big and extravagant wedding while Kellin had the opposit idea in mind. Today would hold a lot of discussions and compromises. But for now, Kellin was still asleep and I hate waking him up. He looks so peaceful and beautiful when he sleeps. Plus, he gets all grumpy when someone pertubates his beauty sleep. I got downstairs and was met by my parents. They really did appreciate Kellin. They consider him as their third son, which makes me really happy. We are one big and united family.

''Good Morning Son!'' My mom said. ''Had a good night?''

''Morning Mom!'' I replied. ''Yeah I did, Kellin is still sleeping.''

''Yeah we kind of guessed that you guys had a real good night.'' My father added.

''What do you mean?'' I wondered.

''Let's just say your room is next to ours.'' He replied. Oh damn, they heard us.

''Oh, eum, well that is kind of embarassing.'' I answered feeling my cheeks turning to red.

''Don't worry Vic, that's a normal thing, we're really glad to see you happy and that much in love with someone.'' My mother said. ''We thought we would never see that spark again after Jenna and you broke up. Speaking of Jenna, I forgot to give you something.''

My mother handled me a letter. It was from Jenna. Just seeing her name on the enveloppe made me sick.

''This came in the day before you got here, I just forgot to give it to you.'' My mother added.

I should have just thrown the letter away, but my curiosity got the better of me. I made my way to living room and took place on the couch. I opened the letter and began reading.

Dear Vic,

You probably aren't reading this, you must have already thrown it away after seeing my name on it. But if you are reading, I would like to apologize once more. I can't live with what I did. I can't live with the fact that I took someone's life away. I never wanted that to happen, I was just jealous. I never wanted him to die. If only you knew how truly sorry I am. Everyday is a nightmare. I never meant to hurt Kellin or you. Never. I can't live with myself anymore. People found out about what I did, I don't know how, but they did. People hate me. I don't belong anywhere now. I wish I could turn back time so I wouldn't do what I did. If we don't see each other again, I just want you to know that I will always love you and that I will always carry you in my heart. You deserve what's best and that isn't me. I took away what was best for you. Not a second goes by without regrets and pain. I hope you'll find the strenght to forgive me one of those days. But I won't get my hopes up. I wish you the best life you can have Vic.

Jenna.

The letter made me cry. Even though I didn't appreciate Jenna, I couldn't help but feeling sorry for her. I've been so rude to her, but I never took the time to think about how bad she must be feeling after a couple of months.

''What are you reading?'' My lovely sleepy boyfriend asked as he took place next to me.

''Nothing important.'' I replied. ''Let's just watch TV.''

''Are you okay babe?'' Kellin asked.

''Yeah, why wouldn't I be?'' I answered as I turned the TV on.

''You seem sad. I hate seeing you sad.'' Kellin said as he placed a kiss on my cheek.

''It's nothing, don't worry about it Kells.'' I added as I kissed my perfect boyfriend of mine.

''I love you.'' He whispered.

''I love you too.'' I replied. I did my best not to cry. Jenna's letter just made me realize even more that soon, I wouldn't be able to hear him say those words to me ever again. That in a few months, I would never be able to kiss him again, make love to him, see him smile, hold him tightly in my arms. It hurt, it just hurts.

''...the young blond girl was found dead in the garage of her house in San Diego. She was found hanged by her mother earlier this Thursday morning.'' The journalist on TV said, catching my attention. The images were showing a familiar house.

''Oh my...That's Jenna's house.'' I whispered loud enough for Kellin to hear me.

''You mean...?'' Kellin said.

''Yeah, that Jenna. I can't believe it.'' I said sadly.

''Yeah, that is a shock.'' Kellin added.

''...family and friends will be able to tell her one last goodbye this saturday at 10 AM at the little chapel on Palm Street.'' The journalist went on. That made it for me, I couldn't help the tears to fall down.

''Babe what is wrong?'' Kellin asked hugging me tightly.

''I-I just feel bad Kells.'' I replied. ''I'm still so pis-pissed off about what she did to you, but I-I didn't want her to die thinking I hate her. I lied when I said the letter I was reading was no-not important. It was from her Kells. She sent it to me a few weeks. She was telling how sorry she was and how her life became a nightmare. She told how much she couldn't live with herself anymore and that she never wanted to hurt us. She told me that she had no friends anymore and she wished I would forgive her. But-but it's too late now Kells. She is dead. I could have had help her. I could have been nicer to her.''

''Shhh babe it's not your fault.'' Kells whispered. ''It's nobody's fault.''

''You must think I'm crazy for not being happy she died because of what she did to you, but it just makes me all sad.'' I replied.

''I don't think you're crazy at all babe.After all, you two have been so closed for a long time before I came in. Those good memories will stay. It's okay not to hate her. I forgave her a while ago. I really hated her at first, but I accepted my destiny.'' He said to comfort me. ''It is a really sad story, I didn't want her to die anymore.''

''Would you be okay by attending her funerals?'' I asked.

''Of course baby, as long as you are okay with it.'' He replied.

''It's the least we can do.'' I replied quietly. ''Do you mind if we plan our wedding next week, I don't have the mind for that right now. All I want to do is lay in bed, cuddling with you.''

''I was going to ask the same thing.'' Kellin answered as he held me tighter, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

-------------------------

''I'm going to be sick.'' I said as we walked up the stairs of the chapel.

''Breathe Vic.'' The perfect Kellin replied. ''It's going to be okay.'' He held my hand tighter and we made our way in the chapel. The images broke my heart: Jenna's coffin, less than 10 persons in the room, a serie of pictures of an happy Jenna on a screen.

Kellin and I took place in the middle of the room. My eyes were fixed on Jenna's closed coffin and the pictures of her. Kellin held my hand tightly the whole time. It was a hard moment for both of us. I felt so sorry for her parents, her family and her few remaining friends. I couldn't imagine the pain they were going through. It must hurt terribly to lose someone you love. I would have to go through that with Kellin, but I didn't want to think about it or cause a scene. This ceremony was for Jenna and nobody else.

''Does anybody else would like to say a few words about Jenna McDougall?'' The priest said after Jenna's mother said the most beautiful speech I've ever heard. As he asked his question, the diaporama was showing a picture of Jenna and I, when were still in high school. I didn't hesitate in standing up and going to the front. Kellin gave me a reassuring look, telling me I was doing the right thing.

''I knew Jenna since I was very young.'' I started. ''We grew up together and shared amazing memories that will always remain in my heart. Jenna was my little sunshine. She was always happy and smiling. She was a true friend, someone you could count on. What I loved the most about her was that she knew how to make you feel special. She had this ability to make you feel like the most incredible person on Earth. Jenna tought me a lot. She showed me that life is short and that you need to enjoy every single drop of it. I will always remember Jenna McDougall, she was a huge part of my life and it's hard saying goodbye.''

I was shaking as I ended my speech. I meant everything I said. Even though she made bad choices and had vices, Jenna was an incredible person that shouldn't have died that young.

''Let's pray for her soul.'' The priest said as I sat next to Kellin. I held his hand tighter and didn't fight back the tears from falling. Jenna is gone for good. I loved her, I hated her. But more important than that, I will forever miss.