Southern Love

I've been by Kellin's side for seven whole days, an entire week. Nurses and doctors kept telling me to go home, to get some rest, but I would refuse. Honestly, I did look like a mess. I had only two quick showers in a week. How could I look great, or simply take care of my look when my husband was passing away through the days in front of me.

I didn't want to leave the hospital, I wanted to be with him until the end. I promised him I would be with him until the end. I am not a liar. Inside of me, I still had this little hope that we would wake up, even for just 10 seconds, so I could see his beautiful eyes one last time, tell him how much I love him one last time. But it's crazy, this is real life, not a stupid movie. But I still had hope. I had to keep the faith. For him.

It was now 9:00 PM and visitors hours were over, except for me. They let me sleep on a tiny and incomfortable bed in Kellin's room. Actually, I barely slep for the past week. I would stay awake all night long, I was too scared he would be gone by the morning. So here I was, sitting next to him holding his tiny little hand and talking to him like I've been doing every single day.

''Hi babe, it's me, again.'' I said sadly. ''I wonder if you can hear me, like if your soul is smiling right now, to the sound of my voice. Anyway, I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare. I wish I could turn back time, to that day where your destiny was changed. I still feel like I'm responsible of everything that is happening. I'm so sorry my love, I should be the one laying on that bed right now. I should be the one who's closed to death right now. You should be the one who gets to live. Amazing persons like you don't deserve to die so young. Angels like you deserve to be happy for their entire life... I just love you so much Kellin, so much it hurts. I knew that this would happen from the start, and I don't regret me decision, it was the best decision I've ever made... but I didn't think that it would happen so fast and that it would hurt that much. I tried to prepare myself for when this day would come...but you are never ready to say a final goodbye to the person you love the most on this planet. You are never ready to say farewell to the love of your life. You will always be the love of my life Kellin. You helped me be who I am today. You made me a better me and I probably wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have my heart, and you'll take it away with you. I just wish you could wake up before you're gone. Please Kellin, wake up. You can't leave me without saying goodbye! You need to wake up, for me, for us. I love you Kellin, please, please wake up. Even if it's just for one minute, it will be worth it...''

And with that, I bursted out into tears, just like I did the previous nights. It just hurt so freaking much, I can't handle it. How could I? Suddenly, I felt a small pressure on my hand. Please be it...

''Kellin?'' I whispered.

''Mhmm.'' He replied quietly.

''Oh my. Babe you're awake!'' I exclaimed, crying tears of joy and pain.

''Yeah..'' He replied in a weak voice. ''Are you crying?

''Yeah, I am...'' I answered. ''How are you feeling?''

''Bad...'' He said. ''I can't remember anything that happened after getting on that plane, but I kind of have a clue of what is happening, I'm feeling it...''

''I'm so sorry baby...'' I said sadly.

''Baby, I don't want you to be sad.'' Kellin said. ''You will get through this, you will get through this for me. You will live a beautiful life, a long one. You will never let go. For me. You will find happiness in other things. You might find somebody else, who knows. But I'll always be with you. In your heart, in your memories, in you. I'll never be that far. You'll just think of me and I'll be there. Promise me. Promise me you will hold on to this life for me! Promise me you will live for both of us. Please.''

''I promise.'' I replied. ''But it's going to be so hard...''

''Remember I'll always be there.'' Kellin added.

''I will always remember you, you'll always be my heart.'' I replied.

Kellin looked at me and gave me a small smile hidding so much pain. I hold his hand a little tighter and smiled back at him. I need to be happy for him. I need to be happy for the both of us.

''Can you turn on the radio Vic? Kellin asked. ''I need to hear some music.''

''Of course baby.'' I answered. I stood up from the chair and walked to the little desk where the old radio was. I put it on Kellin's favorite channel.

''And now, for the first time on radio, I introduce you to a still unknown band from San Diego called Pierce The Veil...'' The animator said.

''No way...'' I whispered.

''Ladies and Gentlemen, here's King For A Day from Pierce The Veil ft Kellin Quinn. Enjoy.'' He added.

And the first notes to our song started. Our song was playing on the radio. I couldn't believe it. I went back to my seat next to an happy Kellin as the song went on.

''It's our song baby!'' Kellin said. ''It is us, on the radio.''

''It's amazing right?'' I asked happily.

''You made all of my dreams came true Vic, you really did.'' Kellin said with his eyes full of tears. ''You're my everything. You are all I ever wanted. I promised myself I wouldn't cry when this day would come but I can't help it. It's not the fact that I'm going to die that makes me sad, it's the fact that I'll never see you again. It's the fact that I won't be able to kiss you anymore, look at how handsome you are. But be sure that wherever I'll be when I die, I will still love you, forever. You are extraordinary Vic Fuentes. Thanks for everything. I can say I had a short but perfect life with you. You gave me joy, hope, faith, but most of all, you showed me what true love was. And that is real rare thing. And I'm more than happy, as a 18 years old boy, to know what it is. You need to be strong for me, you have to be strong. Other people count on you, there are many other lives that you can change for the better. That is what angels do; they bring good and beauty wherever they go. And remember, I'll never be far. Keep in mind all those amazing memories we shared, from day 1 to this day. As long as those memories live, I'll never be dead. I will live as long as you remember me...''

''I'll always remember you Kellin Quinn.'' I replied.

''I love you Vic, so much.'' Kellin said.

I placed a delicate kiss on his lips. His lips moved with mine as we were both crying like crazy. We both knew we might never have that chance again. We kissed for minutes and minutes, his lips still tasting amazing and good. Then they stopped moving as this horrible sound resonated in the room.

''I love you too Kellin.'' I replied before bursting out into tears.

----------

It's been 5 years since Kellin passed away. Have I fell into deep depression after his death? Yes. I've been depressed for almost 2 years. I attempted suicide so many times, becaue all I wanted to do was to join him in the other world. Has there been one day where I haven't think about him? No. He is always on my mind. Do I miss him? Like crazy, you have no idea. Have I gotten better? Yes. Because I promise him I would.

You can never feel 100% happy when you lose someone you love so much as I love Kellin. Love in the present tense, because yes I still love him. I don't think there will be a day where I will stop loving him. Because true love last for lifetime, and my time on Earth isn't over. Even though he isn't physically here with me, he is still alive. In my mind in my heart, he lives. When I think about the things we did together, when I pass by the chapel where we got married, I feel him with me.

My friends and family have been very supportive. They helped me getting better. They've been really patient with me. I owe them a lot. They are amazing and I don't know what I would do without them.

Have I met anyone since Kellin died? No. I just don't feel ready. Maybe one day I will. Just like Rose found love after his true love Jack died. True love never ends, but you still can find love. I believe that is what Kellin would want. He would want me to live a normal life, for us. He would want me to have a family, like we would have. He would want me to be happy.

I will always love Kellin, until the end. This is a promise I intend to keep.