Finding My Way Home

The first thing that went through my mind when the girl with black hair turned to face me was: It can't be. Her long black hair perfectly framed her pale face. Large brown-green eyes widened in shock. Her lips slightly parted, the color of blood red from lipstick. Her small, faint freckles dotting the corners of her eyes. The same small cute nose as always. She is horrifyingly skinny, her collar bones protruding even more so than they used to. Her face looked sunken in, but nothing too severe to take away her immense beauty. Her eyes used to hold so much life, they look dead now. No spark, no light...nothing. Her face is coated with makeup. Nothing that isn't flattering however. She has mascara, a small amount of eyeliner, red lipstick, and compact on; from what I can tell. I almost don't recognize her, but this is a face I have dreamed about since the day I met her. This is my Cassie.

I can tell she is in complete shock. I don't think she ever expected to see me again. I never expected this either. I'm feeling a rush of emotions. Hurt, shock, anger... love? I never thought I would see her again, and here she is. She's sitting in arms distance, alive as ever. My dead best friend is sitting right in front of me! If she was alive all this time, why wouldn't she have said something? Why didn't she come for me? I've grieved, stopped living my life and I find out she's alive! I now know the emotion that's most present... rage. I loved her and she didn't have the decency to tell me she wasn't dead? What about her mother? Her mother is dead inside thinking she lost her daughter. How could she ruin our lives and not tell us there was no reason to be sad?

"Sidney this is my mother Alyssa." Angela smiles at me, slightly tugging on my arm. She somewhat pulls my gaze from Cassie. All I want to do is throw my arms around her for some reason, but I for some reason it doesn't sound like a very wise idea.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Larsen" Larsen is Angela and her mother's current last names. Between marriages she picks up her first husband's, Angela's father's name.

"Please call me Alyssa, everyone else does. Sidney this is my fiancé Gregore Jacobs." Alyssa smiles proudly. I extend my hand to shake his, my eyes reverting back to Cassie. She has dropped her gaze to the table cloth, with a nervous expression, probably hoping I don't do something irrational.

"It's nice to meet you Sidney. This is my daughter Elizabeth Jacobs." He says proudly. Now I'm thrown into a whirlwind. Her name is Elizabeth Jacobs? This man is her father? How did any of this happen. I want so desperately to ask what happened, when did all of this happen? Her parents had the last name Laurent. Her name is Cassandra Laurent. She is not Elizabeth Jacobs, is she?

"Nice to meet you Sidney, I'm Elizabeth." She says with her angelic voice. I can't believe I just heard her talk. Her voice sounds perfect saying my name. It's like nothing has happened. She just said my name. my best friend isn't dead, she's sitting right in front of me. She extends her hand out to me, with a small smile. Her smile used to light up the room. It doesn't even reach her eyes anymore. Her eyes are pleading for me not to do anything erratic. I want to ask her what is going on, but for some reason she's scared I'm going to say something stupid.

"Hello Elizabeth, it's a pleasure to meet you." I reply taking my hand in hers. Sparks fly instantly, my hand tingles from the feel of her soft skin. It feels so unbelievably right, like I was meant to hold her hand all my life. I shake her hand, letting it linger for just a second. She draws her hand back, and looks down again. Angela pulls on my arm for me to sit down. Angela, I forgot she was there. I take the seat directly across from Cassie... I mean Elizabeth. She has her head buried in the menu not daring meeting my eyes.

"So Sidney, Alyssa tells me you are a hockey player, is that correct?" Gregore asks me.

"I am. I play for the Pittsburgh Penguins." I reply.

"That must have been a difficult dream to obtain." He says.

"It was very difficult for me and my parents, but I always knew I had someone supporting me." I counter and look at Cassie again. What do I call her now, Cassie or Elizabeth?

"That is very good. Elizabeth is also very driven, she is a novelist. Angela your mother hasn't told me what you do for a living." Gregore inquires.

"I work as a secretary at a dentist office at the moment. I'm taking online classes to become a certified makeup artist." Angela says proudly. A flash of disappointment flashes across his face, but he quickly hides it.

"Very well. Elizabeth why don't you tell them about the book you are currently writing." He says looking over at her.

"Okay... I'm currently writing a book about the social injustice between men and women in the workplace, an idea my father actually proposed. I am making substantial progress on it." She responds. She's not the same Cassie, Cassie was never that formal when she spoke. She had a vocabulary that far exceeded mine, but she always told jokes and was lighthearted.

"That's very impressive Elizabeth." Angie replies coldly.

"So, when is the wedding?" I ask trying to lighten the tension.

"We're not sure yet. Alyssa wants a December wedding though." Gregore replies. I can see a faint eye roll from Cassie/Elizabeth. Well at least Cassie is still in there somewhere.

"I just love the winter season! Don't you?" Alyssa nearly squeals in delight.

"So festive." Cassie/Elizabeth replies with a slight smirk. I see her "father" give her a harsh glare almost as a warning.

"Angela are you excited to have a stepsister?" Gregore asks.

"I'm excited. I'm looking forward to getting to know her." Angela says slightly snarky.

"Likewise." Cassie/Elizabeth replies her eyes burning holes into Angela. Cassie always had the talent of pointing out fake people, though I'm not saying Angela is fake, but Cassie never liked Angie's personality type. Cassie always claimed they were like barbies, and tried to avoid them at all costs. She would never deal with their crap either, always one to call them out on it. That was always something I admired.

"Is the wedding going to be here or in New York?" Angela asks.

"In New York od course. I've always wanted to be married at the Plaza." Alyssa gushes.

"That will be so romantic!" Angela squeals along with her mom. Meanwhile, Cassie/Elizabeth is busy rolling her eyes and looking away from the table. Her cellphone begins to ring quietly, and she whispers something to her father before getting up to leave. Its just now that I realize she is overdressed for the heat. A long sleeve sweater, jeans, a pair of heels, and a scarf tied around her neck. It's boiling and she's dressed like that? Maybe it wasn't as hot in New York?

"Pardon Lizzie, her boyfriend Mathew was calling. His flight to Pittsburgh was delayed." Gregore informs the table. My heart drops, she has a boyfriend? It feels as if she's cheating on me? How could she do this?

"What does Mathew do for a living?" Angela asks. I really don't want to know, I fear it will make me sick .

"He's a lawyer at my firm, the best actually. I plan on leaving him the practice after I retire." He replies proudly.

"How long have Mathew and Elizabeth been together?" Angela asks.

"About a year now. I'm very proud of their relationship." He replies and I see Cassie/Elizabeth walking back to the table.

"Sorry about that." she apologizes after rejoining the table.

"No need to apologize Elizabeth, I was just informing everyone of Mathew." Gregore replies placing his hand on her shoulder. She slightly flinches at the contact but neither he nor anyone else at the table seem to notice.

"Oh... Yes, we're very...happy." she replies wearily. Almost as if she doesn't want anyone to know about Mathew.

"How long have you and Sidney been dating?" Gregore asks Angela.

"'bout six months now." Angela replies and kisses my cheek. I catch Cassie/Elizabeth cringing away, almost as if it pains her to see me be affectionate with another person.

The waitress comes and we all order our food, its only then I discover Cassie/Elizabeth is fluent in French. When did she learn that? As we eat the table makes small talk, and I busy myself with stealing glances at my best friend. I notice she's barley touched her dinner when the waiter comes by to clear the plates. Her asks her if she wants to box up the dinner. She politely declines and claims the food won't hold. This must be why she's so thin. The inevitable time in the night occurs when we part ways. I don't want to let Cassie/Elizabeth go, I just found her again. I want to ask her a million questions, but the looks she's been giving me warn me something is awry. She's almost afraid of causing a scene. She flinches a lot as well. We all say goodbye and as we're leaving I hear that angelic voice again.

"Sidney, I believe this fell from your pocket." She says handing me the folded paper with nervous eyes. Almost nervous her father will notice I didn't really drop this piece of paper. I take the folded note from her, our fingertips slightly touching.

"Thank you Elizabeth. have a nice night, and I hope to see you soon." I say smiling.

"It truly was good to meet you Sidney." she replies the smile finally reaching her eyes. I nod at her and force myself to turn from her and walk away. Each step I take away from her is living hell. Its like I was finally able to breathe again, and my oxygen source is being ripped from me. Something from me feels missing, something that I didn't know was lost up until this point. I just want to turn around and run back to her, take her in my arms and never let her leave ever again. I just want her back. I open the note and in her neater handwriting read the contents of the note.

'Sidney, I know this must be difficult. I promise to explain when the chance is present.
-Always, Elizabeth'