Oh, Saint Nick

I smiled fondly every time Evelyn dutifully handed me another strip of sticky tape, her face serious and her tongue hung slightly to the side every time she ripped a piece off the dispenser.

Happy, I hummed along to the Michael Buble’s voice playing through the speakers. Evelyn occasionally made little noises trying to sing along to the songs that she barely new. I had hidden the Wiggles Christmas CD just for the day to have a break. She didn’t seem to mind. Three loud knocks sounded over the music making us both pause. I ruffled her hair before heading to the door.

I only got a short second to recognise the familiar tanned face before gloved hands closed around my cheek pulling me forward until chapped lips were pushed against mine. My wide eyes met green ones before I closed them and grabbed onto Harry’s shirt, keeping him close.

His nose brushed against mine and his hand slid from my face. I opened my eyes to see him flash a quick smile before slipping past and into the apartment.

“Harry?” I questioned confused, turning around to watch him in the direction of the living room. He paused in the archway, Evelyn’s voice calling his name excited.

“Emmalyn?” He replied as Evelyn appeared in the archway and wrapped her arms around his leg, her grin was wide. I smiled down at her clear excitement, a welcome exchange from yesterday’s emotional storm.

“What are you doing?” I asked, hesitant to say too much in front of Evelyn’s joy.

“I’m refusing your out.” He responded, his eyes narrowing before turning his attention to the five-year-old hugging his leg. Swinging her up onto his hip he waltzed into the living room ignoring me completely. Sighing I shut the door behind me, not willing to fight how easy it was just to let him in.

I followed them into the living room to see Harry jiggling Evelyn around while they tried to sing Christmas Carols together. Harry singing incredibly loud and incredibly off tune. I almost wondered what I would be like to hear him sing properly, just to me, privately before deciding that this Harry, off tune and smiling widely was much more intriguing.

“Who wants hot chocolate?” I asked, leaning against the archway. Evelyn squealed and held up her hand, waving it around. Harry smiled at me from the floor his hands tight around Evelyn’s waist while nodding with her.

I moved to the kitchen, turning on the stove and placing a saucepan on it while going for the chocolate I listened vaguely to Harry and Evelyn chat randomly about anything that came to Evelyn’s head. I smiled as she told him about her adventures with Ellie the Elephant this morning. She had spent most of the morning gallivanting around the apartment with the stuff toy. Many times I had to stop her from climbing on top of the table.

They went silent suddenly and Evelyn’s small feet could be heard running up the hallway. I turned around to see Harry leaning in the doorway to the kitchen.

“She needed to go to the toilet,” Harry gestured. “can she go by herself?” he added unsure. I smiled and nodded.

“She’ll call when she wants help.” I told him, turning back around to the melting chocolate. “Seems to have trouble with the after care of going to the toilet.” Harry made an understanding noise behind me and I smiled into the pot.

“Evelyn is better today.” Harry commented, his tone neutral. I stirred the pot and waited a few beats before turning down the heat and turning around to Harry, walking to lean against the counter.

“About yesterday…” I began, knowing I had a lot to apologise for. Harry stepped forward and shook his head.

“You don’t need to apologise.” I paused and frowned at Harry. Had Ann told him everything she had said to me? “I know about the crash. How bad it was.” My heart stuttered while I looked at Harry shocked.

“How do you know?” He must have known yesterday when he read the article.

“Gemma mentioned something about it.” Harry said, coming in closer and rounding the corner of the counter. “And the article…” he trailed off and I nodded moving away from him and to finish off the hot chocolate. “And I might have did some digging.”

“You couldn’t have just asked me?” I asked offended.

“You kind of broke up with me?” Harry returned, confusion in his voice. I bit my lip and turned to him.

“Can we actually break up?”

“I would like us to be able to.” I paused and stared at Harry for a moment before Harry began to laugh. I joined in soon after. “I mean I would like us to be together.”

“So we can break up?” I inquired shooting him a teasing smile. He nodded anyway, sliding across the counter so he was closer. I grinned and pressed small kiss to his lips before pouring the hot chocolate into three mugs.

“Aunty Emmy!” Evelyn’s voice carried down the hallway. I shot Harry a look before heading after her. Someone knocked on the door as I reached the bathroom. I heard Harry get up and walk towards it.

“Alright sweetie.” I turned into the bathroom to see Emmalyn standing next to the bowl, her pants around her ankles. “Did you wipe yourself?” She nodded, a proud smile on her face.

“I can’t reach the button.” She pointed to the flush button, smiling I picked her up so she could reach before helping her pull her pants up and flush her hands. She proudly walked her way back out of the bathroom, her head held high. I shook my head at her and turned into the kitchen looking for Harry.

“Grandma.” I widened my eyes and watched as Evelyn ran up to Jacquie and received kisses all over her face. Harry shot me a worried look.

“What are you doing here?” I asked forgetting to play nice in front of Evelyn. Jacquie shot me a look.

“I came to see my granddaughter since you haven’t been answering your phone.” She responded coldly. I glared at her, moving forward to grab Evelyn, Harry stepped forward to stop me. I felt betrayed when he shot me a pleading look.

“Why don’t we go play in your room kiddo while your Aunty and her,” She threw Harry look filled with disdain before continuing, “man friend talk.” I glared at her as Evelyn happily led her from the room explaining that my man friends name was Harry and we weren’t friends. Not like Mason and I were but were friends like Mason and Dylan were. I could practically hear Jacquie’s confusion.

“What are you doing?” I hissed at Harry, ripping my arm out of his hold.

“What were you doing? You looked like you were about to take Evelyn and run.” Harry gestured wildly. He fit so seamlessly into our lives but there was still so much he didn’t know, secrets that I wasn’t sure how to tell or if I even could yet.

“She wants custody of Evelyn.” I told him bluntly. “I’m Evelyn’s godmother but Jacquie and her husband have decided that they want custody of her. Apparently I’m just not doing a good enough job.” Harry looked shocked and speechless. His hand hesitated before running up my bicep trying to comfort. I let him do what he needed to do to feel better while I watched the doorway that Evelyn had disappeared out of, miserably.

“Can they do that?” Harry asked eventually. I shrugged and moved away from him to sit on a stool on the counter.

“Apparently they seem to think so. Evelyn’s happy here though; we don’t have problems. As far as I know everything I do is satisfactory in keeping a kid alive so I don’t see why they should take her away.” I rubbed my neck trying to ease the tension in it.

“I could call Helen? She can help.” Harry offered, walking over to stand in front of me. I shook my head but shot him a small smile.

“It’s fine, there’s an old friend of Ethan’s that I was going to call. He told me when everything happened to call him if I ran into any trouble.” I explained to Harry. “Ethan and he had apparently made a pact along time ago to look out for each other’s families if anything happened to them.” It was slightly morbid how much preparing people do in their everyday lives in case they die. But sometimes it unfortunately pays off for the people who are still alive.

“How come her grandparents fight earlier for her?” Harry asked, his hand coming up to cover my own at the back of my neck and take over the small massage. I sighed and closed my eyes before fluttering them up at Harry.

“They couldn’t even look at her after the crash.” I told him, his forehead furrowed together making me want to reach up and smooth the lines. He shot me an amused look when I did. “They said she looked too much like Ethan and they couldn’t deal with it. Because it wasn’t hard for me to look after the only link I had left to my sister. It wasn’t hard for me to go and identify their bodies after, after…” I closed my eyes tightly and tried to push away the images. The cold and dull feeling of the hospital as I walked through back from seeing my sister and her husband dead on a cold surgical table. Evelyn waiting for me unknowing of what I had just seen.

“I’m so sorry I have no idea how that must have been.” Harry moved forward, standing in the gap between my legs and pulling my face into his chest. I let him hold him but I wasn’t going to cry. The comfort was nice but I had become an expert on pushing the pictures and emotions away. “That must have been hard to explain to Evelyn.” I shook my head at Harry.

“I didn’t. I haven’t. I don’t know how too. I was waiting for the right time but...” My thoughts travelled to the shoe and watch in her wardrobe. The drawings and how much interest Jacquie seemed to have in her lately. “then she started drawing the crash and I found a pair of high heels and a watch in her wardrobe.” I was already standing and walking away from Harry. He called my name but followed after me as I walked down to Evelyn’s room where she was chatting with Jacquie. They both stopped as soon as I walked in the door. Evelyn looked guilty. I tried to stay calm while asking Jacquie to come outside. Harry, thankfully, stayed with Evelyn to distract her.

“You told her, you told her didn’t you.” I hissed at Jacquie the moment I had her in the living room. She raised herself up to full height and tried to look stronger, intimidating but I was sick of her and her pretense that she was better, that she knew more. I was the one that had looked after Evelyn after everything.

“She needed to know, and you hadn’t told her so we did.” She told me firmly, her eyes held no room for argument but I didn’t care.

“That wasn’t your decision.” I took a step towards her, glaring.

“I am her grandmother.” She responded, offender. I rolled my eyes.

“And I am her guardian. I am the one who looks after her and decides what she is capable of. You think you can call yourself her grandmother when you abandoned her when she needed you most. You refused to look at her, even open the door for us when I needed you. You, as far as I’m concerned, need to earn that title back because I swear to God if you fight me for her I will win and you will not see her again is that clear.” Jacquie opened her mouth to protest but I reached forward to grab her arm, dragging her towards the door. I heard Harry shut Evelyn’s door and I was glad she wouldn’t hear any of this.

“You think a five year old is capable of handling how her parents died. She’s drawing pictures of them dead, she’s hiding their stuff away like secretes in her cupboard because you tried to push her against me. Don’t act like you did this because you wanted her to know, you wanted her to distance herself from me.” I glared at Jacquie not caring what she had to say in defense. “Ethan would be ashamed of you.” I hissed, slamming the door in her face before she could react.

I was breathing heavily when I turned around to see Harry standing in the hallway, his face unreadable. I almost expected him to leave, to follow Jacquie and get the hell out of my dramatic life. I watched in disappointment when he reached for the scarf he had hung on a hook before walking towards the door and me.

“You need to talk with Evelyn.” He told me, his face serious when he leant down to press a kiss to my cheek. “And then you need to talk to me.” He continued and opened the door. I watched him, wide eyed and lost at his determination. “I need to know everything and you need to talk about it.” He leant forward and pressed one more kiss to my forehead before promising to call then shutting the door.

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against the wood, remembering what Harry had said yesterday. That he was falling in love with us both. He wasn’t leaving.