Oh, Saint Nick

“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve.” Evelyn announced proudly, to Harry when we met him out front of his house. Harry laughed loudly and swung her up in to his arms pressing kisses to her face. I watched them and smiled happily as he coddled her; pulling her beanie down further to cover her slightly pink ears.

“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve.” Harry said, turning to me and pressing a quick kiss to my cheek earning giggles from Evelyn.

“Come on inside, the heaters on.” Harry tugged on my hand and brought us both inside to the deliciously warm home that smelled like cooking food. “Mum’s making us lunch.” I nodded at Harry and followed him into the kitchen, nervously picking at my coat.

Ann looked up at us and smiled, instantly dropping what was in her hands to come over and greet us. Evelyn giggled as the attention was on her before Ann turned to me. I met her eyes briefly before looking towards Harry. He frowned, obviously noting the awkward tension in the room.

“Why don’t you take Evelyn to Gemma, Harry, she really wants to see her. Do you mind helping me out Emmalyn?” Harry hesitated while I looked conflicted between him and Ann before smiling tentatively at her. She smiled and tugged me towards the counter. Harry left after a moment and disappeared through the house, shouting for Gemma.

“So what did you need help with?” I asked Ann, peering into the bowls she had on the counter, trying to remove the awkward tension from the air.

“Emmalyn.” She began and I fronwed not wanting to have an argument with her. “I owe you an apology.” Relief flooded as I smiled more genuinely at her.

“You really don’t.” I said waving her off, just wanting to put everything behind us.

“I really do. It was horrible what I said and I thought I was doing the right thing by my son. I guess I have to realise that despite his age Harry’s done a lot of growing up while touring. And he is more of a man then my boy anymore. So what I’m trying to say is that Harry is perfectly capable of choosing exactly what he’s ready for and I would be happy to welcome you and Evelyn into our family.” I flushed darkly under Ann’s gaze and cleared my throat awkwardly.

“Harry and I have only just started dating, we’re not that serious yet.” I tried to assure her. “But thank you.” I added on earning a smile in return before she pulled me into a tight hug. I hesitated for only a moment before hugging her back. “Now what did you need help with?”

Ann gestured to what she was making and I easily fell into conversation with her while working around the kitchen making the sandwiches she had begun preparing.

“What are you and Evelyn doing for Christmas?” Ann asked, curious. I shrugged while rinsing off bowls that had been used.

“We’ll have too see her Grandparents at some point.” A point that would surely ruin my day. “But otherwise we will just be at home, I was going to cook her favourite food and just play with her gifts. There’s not a lot of family around here for us and Mason and Dylan are spending time with their families.”

“Well why don’t you come here with us? Celebrate Christmas here?” I turned to Ann shocked; she was completely serious, her eyes not wavering from mine while she waited for a response.

“Thank you but I can’t. This is your family time and it wouldn’t be right.” I quickly shook my head, not wanting to intrude on Harry’s Christmas.

“We would love to have you and Evelyn here. It really wouldn’t bother us.” Ann insisted. I shook my head quickly and avoided eye contact. It wouldn’t be right. I didn’t know if I would feel okay spending time with another family when you were supposed to be with your own. “Okay, sure, I understand. The offer is there though, whenever you want it.

“Hey Emma!” I smiled at Gemma, glad for the interruption. I accepted her hug and Ann shooed us out of the kitchen. “Harry’s showing Evelyn our Christmas Tree.” We walked into the large, homely decorated, living room where a monstrous Christmas Tree sat placed in the corner. Presents were spilling out from underneath it and spread across the floor towards the television. The lights had been turned on although they weren’t as bright through the day. It was beautiful and too much at the same time.

“Harry went a bit over the top on decorations.” I looked at Gemma surprised. “He gets OCD about how to decorate the tree so eventually we all give up and sit and watch him rearrange the whole thing.” I laughed, amused and watched Harry point out different ornaments to Evelyn. Eventually he placed her down onto the ground and walked over to Gemma and I.

“Can I talk to you for a moment.” Harry mumbled, not waiting for an answer but instead grabbing my hand and leading me towards the winding stairs next to the living room. I glanced behind to see Gemma kneeling down next to Evelyn who seemed entranced by the tree.

Harry lead me into the first room on the right and shut the door behind us. The room was fairly spacious with a large double bed sitting in the middle of the room up against the dark purple feature wall. All the furniture inside matched together well, not like it would have if Harry had chosen the furniture himself. It didn’t come across as a room that Harry had spent his childhood growing up in. Instead it seemed more a room his Mum had kept and decorated for when he came back to visit. She had obviously tried to make it as homey as possible with pictures and old ornaments of memories lying around.

Harry’s clothes were, surprisingly, not inside his suitcase. Instead they must have been placed neatly inside the closet like he had taken time to unpack and set up the room. Like he wanted to be at home and comfortable.

“I heard what my Mum asked you.” Harry broke through my thoughts and took a place on the edge of his bed. I joined him, pulling my legs up under me and turning to face him. “It’s okay if you want to come here for Christmas, I was going to ask you anyway.” I shook my head at Harry and reached out to grab his hand, trying to find a way to tell him why I couldn’t.

“Christmas is a time for family and Evelyn’s my family. It’s her first Christmas without her parents and I kind of want it to be just family, us enjoying the day together and remembering them both. If we come here I don’t think either of us will be comfortable. But thank you, really for offering. It means a lot.” I smiled at Harry as warmly as possible. He nodded, like he understood and squeezed my hand.

“Well there’s always next year.” Harry grinned wickedly and I blushed in return. He expected to be around next year, he expected us to be able to come and celebrate Christmas with him next year.

“I talked to Santa.” I blurted out as Harry moved to stand up. He stopped and turned back to look at me, curious.

“About what?”

“If he was real.” I offered weakly, blushing at how ridiculous my own words sounded.

“And?”

“And I don’t know. I think I might possibly be going insane for even asking a man if he was real. But he just said these things and I guess they made me think that maybe.” I groaned and lay back on Harry’s bed, pressing my face into his sheets that smelt exactly like him. They were comforting. “I also asked him something else.” I admitted, looking up to see Harry raise an eyebrow expectantly.

“When we first saw Santa, Evelyn made a wish and I didn’t hear what it was.” I told Harry, sitting up to face him properly again. Wanting him to know that I was actually being serious about this. “Then the other day she told me what it was.” Harry waited his eyes alight with curiosity.

“She wished that I wouldn’t be lonely anymore.” I blurted out, Harry eyes furrowed together in confusion. “And that later on that same day she made that wish you walked into my life. You and your perfect everything that loves Evelyn and stayed in my life no matter how stressful and dramatic it is. You keep hanging around and wanting to be with us and I thought…”

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Harry growled out, rolling his eyes. “You cannot seriously think…”

“That you were Evelyn’s wish for me, that you’re not here of your own free will.” I but in over Harry, he glared dangerously at me. “Of course I do Harry because you waltzed into our lives and won’t leave and don’t get me wrong I don’t want you to leave. But Harry I don’t understand why you would want to be here so I asked Santa and he said that it was fate and that he couldn’t make you, that it was supposed to happen which actually means that you kind of were made to, though and-.” Harry’s mouth cut me off rudely and the rest of my words were lost against his lips.

He pushed a hard rhythm, not taking it slow or soft like our previous kisses. Instead he was insistent and relentless as he pushed me further back on the bed until I was lying down, with him hovering over me. His tongues swept past my lips easily and danced around mine. His hands moved from my cheeks to my neck to my waist and back up, constantly touching and I muffled a moan against his lips, my own fingers curling into his hair tightly.

He pulled apart with a gasp and hovered over me, both of us panting unevenly. He settled over my hips and stared down at me, his green eyes staring relentlessly.

“I sound crazy don’t I?” I sighed, leaning my head back and staring at the ceiling, a sigh slipping from my probably swollen lips. Harry bent forward and nipped my lower lip as if to make sure it was as swollen as possible.

“I’m here because I want to not because Evelyn made some stupid wish. I’m here because I want to. Do you need any other reason then the fact that I love spending time with both you and Evelyn.” I shook my head as Harry dragged his nose from my ear down to the hollow of my throat, his breath making me shiver. “I can’t believe you asked Santa if I was your wish come true.” Harry snorted into my neck after a moment. I groaned and pushed against his chest until he rolled off me.

“Technically I asked if you were Evelyn’s wish come true.” I defended weakly as Harry clutched his stomach and laughed louder. I swatted at his head and stood up from the bed. “Come on, Evelyn’s probably tortured your family enough.” I tugged on Harry’s hand, pulling him up from the bed.

Before we could step to the door he tugged me back and pressed a quick and light kiss to my lips. I smiled at him softly before leading him out the door and down the stairs, our hands linked together and a warm glow spreading through my body.

We walked into the living room to see Gemma holding a finger to her lips. I turned to see Ann and Evelyn, turned away from us, facing the tree.

“You know when I was younger my Daddy died too. And every year for Christmas he would hand out the presents, kind of act like Santa’s little helper. So the first Christmas we spent without him I spent crying all morning and I wouldn’t open up any of my presents. I ended up making my mother cry too, all because I didn’t want anyone else handing out presents because that was my Daddy’s job.” Ann choked slightly on tears and Harry’s arm slipped around my waist, pulling me tightly against his body.

“I realised when my Mum started crying that I was hurting her too because I wasn’t the only one who lost him you know?” Evelyn nodded at Ann, captured in her story. “So the next year I made it my mission to hand out the presents. Then I didn’t feel like anyone was taking my Daddy’s place instead every year that I do it I remember him. I remember his laugh and his face and how he talked. I remember his hugs and his warmth and the way he always made me warm and happy even when I didn’t know why I was crying.” I clutched tightly to Harry, lower lip trembling as I tried not to cry too loudly. Ann let her own tears flow freely while holding Evelyn tightly to her.

“It’s okay to miss your Daddy and Mummy sweetie. But the best way to remember them is to keep doing things they loved. Like putting the star topper on the Christmas Tree.” I watched helplessly as Evelyn buried her small body into Ann’s embrace.

-

Evelyn had been quiet since we got home and I didn’t know how to comfort her. I didn’t know if Ann had made her feel better or just infinitely worse. I had been close to crying for the rest of the day and after lunch I had insisted that Evelyn and I go home to just be together in a more familiar place.

Evelyn had stayed quiet though, not talking much except to say thank you to Ann for lunch and pulling her into a hug. She held onto Harry tightly as well, almost looking like she would protest when it came to leaving him but instead she clambered into the car and let Harry buckle her in.

I hadn’t dared hope that Ann’s words had meant anything to her and it wasn’t until much later when we had both showered for the night and were ready to go to bed that anything happened.

I found her in the living room instead of in her bedroom. The box in the corner of the room had been tipped over and Christmas ornaments that wouldn’t fit in the apartment had been strewn around it.

In Evelyn’s hand sat the sparkly gold star that was supposed to sit on top of the Christmas Tree. Our Christmas Tree had been looking incredibly bare and less jolly without it.

I made a noise to let Evelyn know I was in the room but otherwise I waited, patiently, not wanting to overstep. She stared at the star in her hands for a long time before she finally turned to me. Her eyes held a determination that made my breath catch. It was like Erin was shining through her.

“I want to put star on top.” She told me plainly, her eyes not even hesitating. “But can’t reach.” I nodded and stepped closer to her.

“I could lift you up sweetheart.” I offered gently, running my fingers through her hair gently. She nodded and tightened her hold on the star. We walked towards the tree and I waited a moment in case she backed out before bending down to pick her up. I could feel the little tremors through her bed as I held her closer to the tree. She reached forward, clumsily, and eventually managed to slip the star onto the tree branch made for it.

I stepped back when she was done and lowered her onto my hip. Her small fingers wrapped themselves tightly into my shirt, like she was afraid I would let her go, while we both stared at the now finished Christmas Tree. I turned and pressed a kiss to her temple, wanting to tell her how proud I was and how proud I knew her parents would be but that wasn’t a conversation that was needed right now. Now we needed easy and simple not long dramatic, heartfelt speeches.

“Did you want to sleep in my bed tonight?” I asked her softly. She nodded and turned her head away from the tree to rest on my shoulder. I turned away and headed out of the room, flicking off the lights as I went until we were both curled together, blanket pulled tightly over both of our heads.