Burning Embers
i don't want to be alone
A miserable week passed without Reed. Our house felt so lifeless, and I could tell it was taking a toll on my mother. She used to make an effort even with her severe illness. She'd drag herself out of bed and help Callie and Dahlia with homework, and then she'd sit on the couch and listen to Griffin chat about this and that while she knitted. If she was feeling strong enough, she'd even stand in the kitchen with me and help prepare dinner.
But that was all over without Reed. She hadn't moved since the night of the parade. I wasn't sure if her illness was getting worse, or if she'd just lost the will to live.
My mother wasn't the only one giving up hope either, but instead of disappearing into nothingness, Clay was trying to work himself to death. He just wasn't himself anymore. Granted, Reed always was the more spirited of the two, but Clay was never this way before. He used to laugh with Griffin and joke around with Reed. He'd steal snitches of dinner from out of the pot, and I would playfully scold him.
I missed that. I missed the old Clay.
I missed Reed.
My arms were elbow deep in dishes when I heard a knock on the door. I set down the pan I was scrubbing and dried my hands off. When I went to answer the door, I was surprised to see who was there.
"Blaze," I murmured. "Um, hello."
He was caring a large black pot, and the warm smell made my mouth water. Previously, I wouldn't be too surprised to see Blaze at my door with food from his family's shop, but after this week, I thought Gale scared him away. Blaze hadn't returned to my house let alone speak to me ever since his awkward run in with Gale the night of the parade.
I wasn't sure how I felt about that.
"Hi," He replied cheerfully. "My mom made a pot roast for your family."
My eyes widened in complete wonder. How did he go from refusing to even look my way to hand delivering an expensive and surely delicious meal from his mother?
"Blaze… she really didn't have to." I insisted.
"We know, but she wanted too." Blaze shrugged. "Reed always made my mom laugh whenever he came into the shop."
"Well, thank you," I said with much gratitude. "Tell your mother thank you so much from all of us."
"It's no trouble." Blaze said in returned.
He handed over the large black pot and began to turn away. I wasn't sure what compelled me, but I took a step forward and called out, "Blaze, wait!"
Immediately, he spun around. "Yeah?"
"Would you… um, would you like to stay?" I asked. "The scores air tonight, and well, I just…"
My voice trailed off. I don't want to be alone, I thought in my head. Gale, after much apologizing, told me he wouldn't be able to come over tonight. He and his new hunting pal spotted some wild turkeys over the fence, and they were going to hunt them.
"I know how you feel," Blaze nodded slowly. "I'd love to stay."
I smiled, but quickly turned away from him. Tears threatened to spill over my eyes. If anyone would know how I felt, Blaze would. It was hard to believe that he lost his brother just a handful of Games ago. I'm sure he felt like it had been ages.
Maybe it was wrong of me to have invited Blaze to stay, but I needed the comfort. I needed someone who understood my pain, and wouldn't just try to block it out like Clay. Griffin was my next best hope, but I couldn't stand to share my burdens with my baby brother. Even though he was just a year younger than me, he was still too young to have death and despair constantly on his mind.
"Thank you," I murmured.
The scores were being announced tonight, and my family and Blaze gathered around the small screen. Griffin balanced a bowl of pot roast on his knee and reached over to flick on the projector.
Caesar Flickerman was smiling brightly, his blue hair slicked back. I nibbled on a carrot while I listened to the other tributes scores. As usual, the pairs from District 1 and 2 did very well earning scores ranging from eight to ten. The boy from District 4, Wade Dawson, did surprisingly well with an eight, but the girl from District 7, Johanna Mason, got one of the lowest scores I'd seen in awhile: a three. The rest of the tributes just did averagely. No better, no worse.
"And onto District 12," Caesar finally announced. He tore off the seal of the envelope, opened it up, and pulled out a silver piece of paper. "Reed Elwood received a score of a… nine! Well done!"
My jaw dropped and my heart sped up.
"Ow, Leena." Blaze mumbled, flexing his fingers.
I didn't realize I had been grasping his hand the entire time. "Sorry," I breathed out as I let go of his hand.
"Way to go, Reed!" Griffin jumped up, his empty bowl falling onto the floor. "A nine! Leena, he has a shot at this. He got a nine!" Griffin swung his fists through the air.
Callie and Dahlia quietly giggled with glee, feeling hopeful for our big brother. Griffin was busy dancing around the room. Even Clay had a new spark in his eyes. My family was too busy celebrating, I missed the girl from our District's score.
"I can't believe it," I murmured excitedly. "A nine. Not even the boy from District 1 got a nine."
"Forget District 1!" Griffin cheered. "No one from our district has done that well since—"
As quickly as the celebration began, it was finished. Callie and Dahlia stopped jumping up and down, and Griffin's mouth hung open as he looked awkwardly at Blaze. Blaze was just sitting motionlessly on our couch, his green eyes cast downwards and his hands were curled into fists.
During all of the excitement, I completely forgot that the last person from our district to receive a nine was Ellis Whitlock, Blaze's older brother.
"I'm so sorry, Blaze…" I whispered.
Blaze stood up, grunted something inaudible, and walked out of the door. My siblings stood in the awkward silence, but I stood up and ran out after him. He was moving so quickly, I had to run to keep up.
"Blaze!" I called out. "Please, wait!"
"I'm fine," He snapped.
When I reached him, I caught his arm; he was as cold as ice. "Blaze," I said softly.
"You don't have to be sorry," Blaze insisted bitterly. "Ellis has been dead for over seven years. There was nothing I could do back then, and there sure as hell isn't anything I can do now."
"I know…" I admitted weakly. I was dreading watching the Games, watching Reed fight for his life, and I unable to do anything to help him. "I just wanted you to know… you're not alone. If you ever need to talk about it, I'm here."
Though Blaze was frowning deeply at me, his expression was unreadable. "Thank you," He finally said. "I am sorry about Reed, but who knows? Maybe that nine will meaning something more for him than it did Ellis. Maybe he'll get out of the bloodbath and have a shot." Blaze shrugged, squeezed my hand, and said, "For you and your family's sake, I hope that's what happens." Blaze leaned forward and kissed me gently on the cheek. "Goodnight, Leena."
I watched him walk away until I was standing alone in the street. My body was tingling and my heart was fluttering, but I wasn't sure if that was from Blaze or from the excitement. I stood in the street for a moment longer before whispering to myself, "Maybe…"
But that was all over without Reed. She hadn't moved since the night of the parade. I wasn't sure if her illness was getting worse, or if she'd just lost the will to live.
My mother wasn't the only one giving up hope either, but instead of disappearing into nothingness, Clay was trying to work himself to death. He just wasn't himself anymore. Granted, Reed always was the more spirited of the two, but Clay was never this way before. He used to laugh with Griffin and joke around with Reed. He'd steal snitches of dinner from out of the pot, and I would playfully scold him.
I missed that. I missed the old Clay.
I missed Reed.
My arms were elbow deep in dishes when I heard a knock on the door. I set down the pan I was scrubbing and dried my hands off. When I went to answer the door, I was surprised to see who was there.
"Blaze," I murmured. "Um, hello."
He was caring a large black pot, and the warm smell made my mouth water. Previously, I wouldn't be too surprised to see Blaze at my door with food from his family's shop, but after this week, I thought Gale scared him away. Blaze hadn't returned to my house let alone speak to me ever since his awkward run in with Gale the night of the parade.
I wasn't sure how I felt about that.
"Hi," He replied cheerfully. "My mom made a pot roast for your family."
My eyes widened in complete wonder. How did he go from refusing to even look my way to hand delivering an expensive and surely delicious meal from his mother?
"Blaze… she really didn't have to." I insisted.
"We know, but she wanted too." Blaze shrugged. "Reed always made my mom laugh whenever he came into the shop."
"Well, thank you," I said with much gratitude. "Tell your mother thank you so much from all of us."
"It's no trouble." Blaze said in returned.
He handed over the large black pot and began to turn away. I wasn't sure what compelled me, but I took a step forward and called out, "Blaze, wait!"
Immediately, he spun around. "Yeah?"
"Would you… um, would you like to stay?" I asked. "The scores air tonight, and well, I just…"
My voice trailed off. I don't want to be alone, I thought in my head. Gale, after much apologizing, told me he wouldn't be able to come over tonight. He and his new hunting pal spotted some wild turkeys over the fence, and they were going to hunt them.
"I know how you feel," Blaze nodded slowly. "I'd love to stay."
I smiled, but quickly turned away from him. Tears threatened to spill over my eyes. If anyone would know how I felt, Blaze would. It was hard to believe that he lost his brother just a handful of Games ago. I'm sure he felt like it had been ages.
Maybe it was wrong of me to have invited Blaze to stay, but I needed the comfort. I needed someone who understood my pain, and wouldn't just try to block it out like Clay. Griffin was my next best hope, but I couldn't stand to share my burdens with my baby brother. Even though he was just a year younger than me, he was still too young to have death and despair constantly on his mind.
"Thank you," I murmured.
The scores were being announced tonight, and my family and Blaze gathered around the small screen. Griffin balanced a bowl of pot roast on his knee and reached over to flick on the projector.
Caesar Flickerman was smiling brightly, his blue hair slicked back. I nibbled on a carrot while I listened to the other tributes scores. As usual, the pairs from District 1 and 2 did very well earning scores ranging from eight to ten. The boy from District 4, Wade Dawson, did surprisingly well with an eight, but the girl from District 7, Johanna Mason, got one of the lowest scores I'd seen in awhile: a three. The rest of the tributes just did averagely. No better, no worse.
"And onto District 12," Caesar finally announced. He tore off the seal of the envelope, opened it up, and pulled out a silver piece of paper. "Reed Elwood received a score of a… nine! Well done!"
My jaw dropped and my heart sped up.
"Ow, Leena." Blaze mumbled, flexing his fingers.
I didn't realize I had been grasping his hand the entire time. "Sorry," I breathed out as I let go of his hand.
"Way to go, Reed!" Griffin jumped up, his empty bowl falling onto the floor. "A nine! Leena, he has a shot at this. He got a nine!" Griffin swung his fists through the air.
Callie and Dahlia quietly giggled with glee, feeling hopeful for our big brother. Griffin was busy dancing around the room. Even Clay had a new spark in his eyes. My family was too busy celebrating, I missed the girl from our District's score.
"I can't believe it," I murmured excitedly. "A nine. Not even the boy from District 1 got a nine."
"Forget District 1!" Griffin cheered. "No one from our district has done that well since—"
As quickly as the celebration began, it was finished. Callie and Dahlia stopped jumping up and down, and Griffin's mouth hung open as he looked awkwardly at Blaze. Blaze was just sitting motionlessly on our couch, his green eyes cast downwards and his hands were curled into fists.
During all of the excitement, I completely forgot that the last person from our district to receive a nine was Ellis Whitlock, Blaze's older brother.
"I'm so sorry, Blaze…" I whispered.
Blaze stood up, grunted something inaudible, and walked out of the door. My siblings stood in the awkward silence, but I stood up and ran out after him. He was moving so quickly, I had to run to keep up.
"Blaze!" I called out. "Please, wait!"
"I'm fine," He snapped.
When I reached him, I caught his arm; he was as cold as ice. "Blaze," I said softly.
"You don't have to be sorry," Blaze insisted bitterly. "Ellis has been dead for over seven years. There was nothing I could do back then, and there sure as hell isn't anything I can do now."
"I know…" I admitted weakly. I was dreading watching the Games, watching Reed fight for his life, and I unable to do anything to help him. "I just wanted you to know… you're not alone. If you ever need to talk about it, I'm here."
Though Blaze was frowning deeply at me, his expression was unreadable. "Thank you," He finally said. "I am sorry about Reed, but who knows? Maybe that nine will meaning something more for him than it did Ellis. Maybe he'll get out of the bloodbath and have a shot." Blaze shrugged, squeezed my hand, and said, "For you and your family's sake, I hope that's what happens." Blaze leaned forward and kissed me gently on the cheek. "Goodnight, Leena."
I watched him walk away until I was standing alone in the street. My body was tingling and my heart was fluttering, but I wasn't sure if that was from Blaze or from the excitement. I stood in the street for a moment longer before whispering to myself, "Maybe…"