Carry You Home.

Josh felt bile rising in his throat, threatening to spill out of his mouth when he opened it. She has cancer. The girl that he's fallen completely head over heels for, the girl that he pictures spending the rest of his life with, the girl that he wanted to mother his children. McKinley has cancer.

He watched as tears slipping down her cheeks as she watched him gape in horror.

"I have cancer, Josh. I need you to go back to California and accept the fact that we broke up," McKinley said softly.

"What kind of cancer?" he asked quietly once he regained his voice, disregarding her requests.

"Uh, leukemia. Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, actually," McKinley replied.

"Acute, like small right? You don't have a lot of cancer, just a little bit."

McKinley let out a small laugh. "No Josh. Acute as in fast, quick to develop and spread."

"Were you just diagnosed or have you known?"

"I've known," she says in a small voice, picking at the skin around her finger nails before deciding to finally reveal her back story. "I was diagnosed when I was eleven. The first time I went into remission was when I was twelve. We actually went to go see RV to celebrate. But the party didn't last long and before my thirteenth birthday the cancer had returned. More chemo, then radiation, bone marrow transplants and an endless cycle of experimental medication, the cancer was finally gone when I turned fifteen. My parents were so thrilled and thought that I could go back to my regular life. But it wasn't easy, I'd come to greet cancer as a friend; my only friend, besides Olivia eventually. And now I was expected to go back to school and socialize with people that made fun of my bald head because of all of chemo, and they laughed and called me retarded because I was taking the slower classes and I had a tutor to catch me up. I couldn't handle it, I quit and took all the online classes that I could and graduated early, and by that time my friend came back."

McKinley looked up at Josh who remained silent; urging her to continue with the life story he was finally getting after weeks of probing for answers. "For most sixteen year olds they get a car for Christmas, for me I was getting the news that the cancer was aggressive and it would be really hard. It was, I was so sick all the time. If you think I'm thin and pale now, you should have seen me then. I could have gone as a skeleton for Halloween. But I fought. I fought for my parents and I fought for myself. I fought for all the things I hadn't gotten to see. When I was younger, I would read 100 Places to See Before You Die, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to all around the world, but I promised myself that as soon as I was healthy enough, I'd travel around the United States with just me and my luggage. Point at a random state on the map and that's where I would go. And when I went into remission again a few months before my eighteenth birthday, I knew that it was the perfect time. I'd be able to say that I saw my part of the world before I died."

"McKinley-" Josh whispered, bringing her out of her story.

"I'm not finished," she cut him before he had a chance to say anything else. "I knew something was wrong the day before we met, like I could feel the cancer coming back. The white blood cells that normally protected me were now out of control, wreaking havoc in my bones. But it wasn't going to stop me from my mission. Then we met, and I never in a million years thought that you, or any guy for that matter, would just saunter over and ask to have lunch with him, his brother, and his friend. I never expected to go to dinner with you, or invite you to my hotel. I was not that girl, I mean, I had only done it one other time and that was when I thought I was going to die and so did the guy and we both didn't want to die as virgins, but that's beside the point. Then you invited me to meet your parents, then you made plans for us to go to the baseball game, to Seattle, eventually we'd end up at your house in L.A. and you wouldn't take no for an answer. No matter how hard I pushed, you were determined to make me like you. But I'm glad that I ended with you, you're a good epilogue to my short story."

"I'm not going back now, there is no way that I'm leaving you after you told me all of that," Josh said sternly, his square jaw set.

McKinley rolled her eyes then closed them, resting her head back on her headrest. Josh watched her chest rise and fall as she takes steady breaths. "Josh, I'm tired of fighting."

"I too, so just let me stay. I want to be with you, I don't care if you have cancer and lose all your hair and start to look like a skeleton and get sick all the time. I want to fight with you."

McKinley let out another small laugh, the sides of her lips curling up into a smile. "Not you and I fighting. I'm tired of fighting to stay alive. It's exhausting and I've been doing it for such a long time. I've seen what I wanted-"

"You're giving up? You aren't going to fight back? McKinley, you can't do that, you're so young!" Josh shouted louder than he anticipated to but it deter McKinley any.

"I'm content."

"You're content?" Josh laughed as if that was supposed to be a joke. "What about me?"

"You weren't supposed happen," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Well I did happen, and it was real. Everything I said to you, felt about you; it was all real. It's still real. What am I supposed to do about it?"

"You go home and invite Avan and some other friends over and you have a party, you get wildly trashed and you see a pretty girl and you take her back into your room and you kiss her as you remove her clothes until the pretty but naive girl is naked in front of you, willing to do whatever you say because you are Josh Hutcherson. You lay her on the bed and claim her as yours. First it'll be slow but then you'll begin to pick up speed and you'll dig your fingers into her hips, but you won't leave bruises because she doesn't bruise like a peach, but you'll lose yourself in her and momentarily forget about a break up that you had with some girl that you'll never see again."

"Why are you doing this? Why are you telling me to go have sex with an imaginary girl while you're across the country lying in a hospital bed, taking your last breaths? Are you doing this to hurt me, is it funny to you, some sick and twisted joke or something?" Josh questioned.

"It's not a joke; I want you to do all of that. You're going to be filming soon; your plate will be so full that I'll slip your mind. But when something happens to remind me of you, I don't want you to remember me as the sick girl with IV's and the feeding tube. I want you to see me how I am now, with hair and a smile. You deserve to be happy, not sad and sitting in some waiting room waiting for the doctor to pronounce me dead."

"Stay with me tonight then, please?" Josh begged. He wasn't ready to give up but he saw it pointless to continue in this circle.

"I can't, I have another doctor’s appointment. They want to discuss my options."

"Then let me stay with you. Just one more night with you, I need this." McKinley nodded in agreement. "Give me the keys so you won't leave while I get my things."

"I'm not going to leave, I promise."

Josh trusted her and rushed into the hotel and into his room to grab his bag. He quickly checked out with the lady at the front desk before running back to the hotel parking lot. McKinley was still sitting in the same spot, unmoved. Josh let out a sigh of relief as he got back into the passenger side of the black sedan, buckling his seat belt as McKinley got back onto the main road.

The drive back to her childhood home was quiet. McKinley thought that she had won and in the morning, her and Josh would say their final goodbyes. Josh was using the time to think of more things to say to her, because he'd have to be dead himself to leave McKinley.

There was a beep when the front door opened and McKinley walked into the house with Josh trailing behind her. She found her parents sitting at the kitchen island, waiting for her return.

"Josh is staying over tonight. I'm taking him to the airport before we go to the doctors. Goodnight," McKinley said briefly before turning to ascend up the stairs and towards her bedroom.

It hadn't been touched in a year. McKinley knew that her mom had come in and did some dusting, maybe fluffed a pillow or two or came in just to look at the few pictures she had of her and Olivia in frames that sat on her bookshelves. But everything was the same, grayish-blue walls, black furniture, white bedding, a large mirror standing in the corner next to her closet door. A large picture of Marilyn Monroe hanging above her bed. A plush, antique looking chair with black bird cages woven into the burlap color fabric sat next to the window that out-looked the backyard.

McKinley briefly wondered what her parents would do with this room once she was gone. Leave it as some sort of shrine; turn it into a workout room or another guest room? She ignored the thought, it was unsettling. McKinley tried to put a brave face on for the sake of others, but she was scared. She wasn't afraid of not making the right decision on whether she should fight or not; she knew that it was her time to go. What was most frightening, what terrified most people were the daunting question of what comes next? She never gave much thought into Heaven or Hell, she isn't religious. But now that the time has come, she wished that she could muster up just a little bit a faith in that her life wouldn't just end with her being buried six feet under, trapped inside some elaborate coffin. She hoped for something other than just a final sentence and a period one the last page at the end of a book.

McKinley ignored Josh for the moment as she stripped from her jeans and tops to put on a pair of black sweats that she got out of her dresser, and a gray and red knit top. Before climbing into bed, McKinley opened her suitcase to retrieve Mr. Wiggles.

"Are you going to join me or are you going to stand in the doorway?" McKinley asked as she settled beneath the blankets.

"Oh, uh yeah." Josh quickly pulled his tee shirt up and over his head as he toed his tennis shoes off before unbuttoning his shorts and allowing them to fall from his hips and onto the ground as he climbed into bed beside McKinley.

McKinley snuggled herself further into the mattress, she had missed her own bed. Hotel beds were all nice and comfortable, but nothing beat familiarity, except maybe Josh's bed. She let Josh wrap his arm around her waist and bury his face into her neck. She was being selfish for allowing this. Allowing these feelings to continue but she'd allow herself to be selfish for just this moment; she's only human after all.