Christmas Without You

“You’re not going to be able to make it to the cabin for Christmas?” Emma asked, draping the string of lights in her hand around the bannister.

“Unfortunately not,” her mother spoke into the phone.

Emma stopped what she was doing. “Oh…okay,” she murmured softly.

“Oh honey, I know you’re this won’t be like every other year, but–“

“But it’s a tradition! We always come here for the holidays,” Emma interrupted. It was hard to mask the disappointment in her voice.

“It’s just…your father and I felt it would be nice to stick around Florida this year. We’ve always done white Christmas at the cabin in Elliot Lake. I want to spend a Christmas in the sand,” her mother replied.

Emma pinched her nose “You’re sure?”

“Positive”

Emma sighed. She didn’t want to argue with her mother –especially during the holidays. “Send me a picture of a decorated palm tree, okay? It’s not Christmas in the tropics without one,” she said, smiling despite herself.

She heard her mother laugh on the other line “Will do Em! Say hi to James for us!”

Her heart twisted. “He’s not going to make it either mom,” she whispered, sitting down at the top of the staircase.

She knew the response before it came out the earpiece of the phone. She had already anticipated the tone too. It was the same tone her sister had used when they’d talked an hour previously.

“Oh Em.”

And there it was. The corners of Emma’s mouth drooped. She never really did like pity, especially when she her spirits were already dampened.

“Why isn’t he able to spend Christmas with you?”

“It’s always really busy for him this time of year. Hockey doesn’t stop for the holidays,” she responded, trying to keep her voice level despite her throat thickening.

“Would you like us to buy you a ticket to Florida? You can join our sandy wonderland,” her mother suggested.

“Nah, that’s okay mum. It wouldn’t feel the same to me if I didn’t spend Christmas at Elliot Lake,” she replied, pulling her knees to her chest.

“You’re sure?”

“Positive,” Emma assured her.

“You call me Christmas morning, okay Em?”

Emma nodded her head, while tears pearled along her lower lash line. “Yes, of course I will,” she confirmed.

“Love you honey.”

“Love you too mom,” Emma said in farewell, and then hung up the phone.

She placed the phone beside her. The tears continued to well. She set her forehead on her knees and burrowed her face into her lap. The tears continued to well. They were threatening to breach the dam. This is nuts, Emma thought. I shouldn’t wallow in self-pity. She inhaled deeply. Just because I’m alone this Christmas, doesn’t mean I can’t have a good time. Happy with her resolve, she blinked back the tears and stood up.

“Looks like it’s just you and me Everett,” she said. On his bed by the fireplace, Everett the corgi lifted his head in acknowledgement.

“You ready to spend the holidays with me?” she asked rhetorically. Everett let out a resigned woof before settling back to sleep. Emma laughed.

“If you’re lucky, you may get some shortbread cookies,” she continued to chuckle.

Reaching for the lights, she went back to wrapping them around the staircase bannister. This was only one of the many tasks on her to-do list before Christmas morning. There was still the tree to decorate, cookies to bake, and gifts to wrap. Even though she’d be alone for Christmas didn’t mean she’d have to forgo the festivities.

That evening Emma decided she would keep her promise to Everett and make shortbread cookies. She had just started mixing the ingredients together, when the phone rang. She paused her stirring long enough to wedge the phone between her ear and shoulder.

“Hello?” Emma answered.

“Hey Em,” a rugged voice replied.

Emma’s pulse quickened. “James,” she spoke, unable to keep the smile on her lips from entering her voice.

“How are you?” He asked his voice slightly strained, as if he were stretching.

“I’m good, making shortbread as we speak.”

“Mmm, my favorite,” He hummed in delight.

Emma heard sheets ruffling on the other end. He must've been in bed. “You sound tired,” she noted.

James chuckled, “I am.”

“You sound sad. Your parents aren’t coming to the cabin?” he added afterwards.

“No they aren’t,” Emma replied.

“And your sister?” he asked.

She shook her head even though she knew he couldn’t see, “Nuh-uh, it’ll just be me, Everett, and a couple of good books.”
With a soft ‘oomph’ Emma pulled the dough out of the bowl and onto the counter. A cloud of flour rose up around the edges of the large ball of dough. She patted it down slightly, and then sprinkled flour over the top.

Through the phone she could hear a door close. She also heard James protest in the background, almost as though he didn’t have the phone anymore.

“James?” she called out into the receiver.

“Hallo Em-ma, is me Evgeni,” a thick Russian accent blared through the earpiece. Emma laughed. With a voice as distinctive as his, he never needed to say his name. Yet it was something he had always done since they’d first met. It was a routine the three of them shared when the team was on the road. Geno usually managed to take James’ phone at least once while he was talking to her, just to shout a quick hello. It was endearing, similar to that of an older brother checking up to make sure everything was all right.

“Hi Geno, you guys fry some Ducks tonight? James hasn’t told me yet,” Emma said.

“You no watch game?” Geno pretended to sound shocked. She heard a muffled, ‘what!’ in the background.

“I don’t have cable at the cabin, remember?” She giggled.

“Ohhhh,” Geno spoke into the receiver.

“No tv at cabin,” He said this time his voice sounded muffled. Most likely to turn and relay the message to James.

“So, did you guys win?”

“Uh, yes we win. I got goal. Lazy got no goal, just assist,” he boasted.

Emma heard James say something inaudible in the background. “If you no want me to talk bad Lazy, come get phone,” was Geno’s reply. Emma heard a commotion on the other end of the phone. Shortly after Geno spoke to her again.

“Lazy misses you Em-ma. He don't say but I can tell,” Evgeni shared, still fighting to keep the phone away from James.

“I miss him too Geno.”

“Do you think you could give the phone back to him? I’d like to talk to him a little while longer before he has to go to sleep,” Emma asked.

Geno sighed, “Okay, bye Em-ma.”

A split second later, she heard her boyfriends voice loud and clear,

“He is right you know. I miss you –a lot.”

“I can guarantee you that I’m missing you more,” Emma whispered back.

James sighed, “I don’t like the idea of you spending Christmas alone.”

“Neither do I, but we’ll make do. Maybe we could Skype Christmas day?” she asked, hopeful.

“Sounds like a plan,” he answered, reciprocating her optimism.

“You should go to sleep. Maybe with a full nights rest you’ll be able to get more than an assist,” Emma chirped him playfully.

“Not you too,” James groaned, causing Emma to giggle once more.

“I love you,” she spoke shortly after, her heart fluttering at the words.

“I love you too,” he replied, and then he was gone.

Emma set the phone on the table. She scanned the room for her dog, but couldn’t find him. He loved shortbread and it seemed odd to her that he wasn’t around. There's only one other possible place he could be…her thought trailed off. She finally looked down at her feet. Everett was peering up at her with big brown puppy dog eyes. A puddle of drool was beneath him.

“Here ya go bud,” she said, flicking a chunk of dough to the ground. Everett gobbled it up and then continued to lick the spot it had been on the floor. Emma rolled her eyes at the sight.

“Silly dog,” she muttered, spreading the dough out with a rolling pin.



The next morning Emma decided she would get out the Christmas tree. Though it was artificial, it would have been sacrilege to use anything else. It took ten minutes to set up the seven-foot tree –the same amount time every year. From storage she’d also pulled several cardboard boxes full of decorations. From one she pulled a string of lights. On a stool Emma started from the top of the tree. She’d gotten about halfway when her sister called.

“How’s my little sister doing?” she asked, over the background chatter.

“I’m doing good. In the process of setting up the tree actually,” Emma responded, continuing to wrap lights around the branches.

“Mom and dad still have that old thing?” her sister said incredulously.

“Yup,” the word popped from Emma’s mouth.

“Jeez, that thing’s older than me,” she informed Emma, her voice blending into the commotion going on around her.

“Where are you? It’s really hard to hear you over the noise.”

“I’m at the mall. Have to do some last minute shopping before the big day,” her sister replied.

“Cutting it a bit close there eh?” Emma joked.

“Well you know me, disorganized in nature. Seems to only get worse around the holidays,” she chuckled.

Emma opened her mouth to fire off a witty remark, but her sister’s voice spewed faster through the receiver, “No-more-time-to-talk. Got-lots-to-do-Emmy. Talk-to-you-tomorrow. Bye now!”

Emma lowered the phone. She pinched her mouth and her eyebrows stitched together. Her sister sounded rushed. Emma had never heard her speak so fast in that tone before. Then again, she was in a crowded mall –a day before Christmas no less. She probably wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. Never one for crowds herself, Emma cringed at the thought of being wedged between multiple strangers.

She turned back to the unfinished tree and knelt down to string the last bough with lights. Cord in hand, she twisted the tree to the closest electrical outlet. Plugging in the lights, the tree illuminated simultaneously with Emma’s mega-watt smile. Satisfied, Emma dug around the box for garland. Out from the depths she pulled a large roll of plaid ribbon and then proceeded to unwrap it from the spool. The deep red, vibrant green, and royal blue plaid pooled at her feet. When she’d reached the end, Emma ascended the stool. However, she had to stop when she could no longer freely pull the ribbon up to her new height. Looking down, Emma’s line of vision landed on Everett. He had part of the ribbon in his mouth.

Everett tugged on the ribbon. When Emma pulled it back, he tugged harder. She pulled the ribbon back again. “Stop it,” she said sternly. Everett’s tail began to wag. He yanked the ribbon in his direction again. Great, Emma thought, he thinks it’s a game. Keeping a firm grip on her end, Emma got off the stool. Everett backed up, the ribbon still clenched between his teeth. He tugged at it again. “No Everett,” she told him. His head wrenched from side-to-side, maintaining the taut, long string of ribbon linking them. Emma made a lunge for him, but Everett was too fast. Her end of the ribbon slipped free of her grasp as he ran from the living room and upstairs.

“You little turd,” she muttered, going after him. She threw her hands up in exasperation when she heard the phone ring. “Hello?” she huffed.

“Is this a bad time?” James asked, startled by her tone.

"No,” Emma began, letting out a frustrated sigh, “Sort of. Everett just ran off with my garland the pint-sized mongrel.”

She listened to James’ hearty laugh on the other end, “Is that all?”

Emma’s lip slung up in a lopsided smile. It felt good to hear him laugh –even if it was at her expense. “Yeah, we had a bit of a tug-o-war and he managed to get it. He’s probably hiding somewhere upstairs with it,” she explained.

“Pint-sized mongrel indeed,” he managed through more laughter.

Once James was able to calm himself, Emma asked him, “To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?”

“I just wanted to check up on you. Make sure you were doing okay. You know, typical boyfriend stuff,” he said nonchalantly.

“I’m doing great, really. I’ll need something to do this afternoon though. You know, to break up my reading time,” she smirked, mimicking his tone.

“Any suggestions?” She asked.

“As kids we used to make snowmen. Mom always said that they were the first to welcome guests to our home,” James explained.

Emma smiled at the sentiment. “I like that,” she told him, “Thanks for the idea.”

“Any time,” he replied.

Emma bit her lip, “Are we still good for our Christmas Day Skype?”

“We sure are.”

“See you tomorrow then,” she said.

“Looking forward to it,” he told her, a tenderness taking his tone.



Emma woke up to the telephone ringing.

“Hello?” she answered groggily.

“I have a surprise for you,” James’ voice came through the receiver.

“It’s two o’clock James. Can’t we do this in the morning?” she groaned.

Emma heard Everett’s bark from downstairs and his subsequent scratching on the front door. He wanted outside. She groaned again at the idea of having to leave her warm bed.

“It is the morning,” he responded.

“I mean later morning,” Emma grumbled.

“Em, I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important,” James urged.

She flipped the covers over. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she hoisted her body up. “What would you like me to do at this ungodly hour?” she asked, sobering up slightly.

“I want you to check the front door. I sent your Christmas present a couple days ago and I think it may have come in late last night,” James explained.

Emma yawned, “Hold on. On my way down.”

The pads of her feet tapped softly on the hardwood floor. She descended the stairs with ease, though sleep still clung to her every move. Everett saw her approach. His ears perked up and he barked again. She hushed him but he was still adamant about going outside. He nudged the door with his nose to further prove this.

“Is that Everett?” James asked.

“Yeah it is. Perfect timing by the way, he wanted out just shortly after you called,” Emma replied.

Emma opened the door and Everett bolted outside. Cold air barged through the open space. It slammed into her body full force as she half-heartedly attempted to shield herself with her free arm. Her gaze dropped to the doormat. “What exactly am I looking for?” Emma asked.

“You’ll know when you see it,” he replied, the hint of a smirk in his tone.

Everett was making his way through the yard slowly, but surely. Emma could see his head bobbing as he leapt through the snow.

“Everett get back here!” she shouted, slipping into her coat. James could hear the door close, followed by the sound of snow crunching beneath her feet.

“I don’t see anything on the front porch,” Emma spoke through chattering teeth.

“Everett, come!” she called. She could see the corgi look at the tree line, which hid the road. Emma whistled, but he seemed to be distracted still. With a final snap of her fingers, Everett was at her side.

“It could’ve been placed at the end of the driveway by the mailbox. You should check there just in case,” James suggested.

A plume of breath billowed from Emma’s mouth. “James, it’s cold outside. I’ll walk down to the main road later. If I don’t head inside now, I may turn into a snowman,” she told him, trudging her way back to the front door.

“Speaking of snowmen, how dare you use a rock for his nose? Everyone knows a snowman should have a carrot nose.”

Emma stopped in her tracks. “How do you know that? I never told you what the snowman looked like…” her voice trailed off, the weight of what she said sinking in. Her heart pounded rapidly upon realization.

She spun around to find James walking up the driveway, phone to his ear. It couldn’t be, she thought. She blinked twice, but he was still there. He was still coming towards her. The phone slipped from her hands. A distinctive ‘thud’ echoed as it landed in the snow. He was actually there. He was within running distance. Go, her mind pleaded with her body, run to him.

She watched him stop just long enough to put his phone into his pocket. Then she ran. He saw her approach and a smile broke out on his face. It grew when she propelled herself at him. Emma jumped into James’ arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and her own arms around his neck.

“You’re here,” were the only words she managed to gasp.

“You’re actually here,” she repeated, hugging him closer.

“I invited a few people along too. I hope that’s okay,” he informed her, his grip on her torso tightening.

Emma looked up from James’ shoulder. Tears flooded her eyes immediately after. Her mother, father, and sister were walking up the driveway. James had brought her family with him.

“Surprise Em,” James spoke softly, lowering her to the ground.

She looked up at him, eyes wide. She looked back to her family; then to him again. Her hand rose to her mouth, and she started to laugh through the tears. They were all here. They were all together for Christmas.

She opened her arms to embrace her family. Her mother kissed Emma’s cheek, while her sister wiped away the happy tears sliding down Emma’s other cheek, and her father patted her back comfortingly.

“I can’t believe it,” Emma said in complete shock.

“Was this the plan all along?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder at James.

All four nodded in response.

“James set it all up,” her sister explained, “Had everything planned out months in advance.”

“Wow, what a surprise,” she sputtered in amazement.

“Was it worth waking up for Em?” he asked, his familiar half-smile in place.

Emma extended a hand to pull him into the group hug. “Definitely,” she replied.

The huddle lasted only thirty seconds. “Let’s go inside before I freeze to death,” her sister exclaimed, motioning towards the cabin.

“I second that motion,” Emma agreed, grabbing James’ hand and heading towards the door.

It didn’t take long for everyone to settle down into their respective rooms. After they had promptly fallen to sleep, Emma went back downstairs to the living room. Too excited to sleep, she stood in front of the tree, the same ecstatic smile she’d had since she’d received her surprise pulling the corners of her mouth.

James snuck up behind her and wrapped his arms around her torso. “Merry Christmas Em,” he whispered in her ear.

Emma turned to face him, her eyes sparkling in the tree light. “Merry Christmas James,” she whispered back, a dazzling smile stretching across her face.

He kissed her forehead, the scruff on his chin tickling her skin.
“Best Christmas ever?” he asked, kissing her nose.

Emma nodded. “Best Christmas ever,” she confirmed, kissing his mouth.

“Hey! That was supposed to be my next move,” he exclaimed.

“What’s stopping you from doing it anyways?” Emma asked, a smirk playing upon her lips.

James snorted, amused by her retort. He lowered his gazed upon her exuberant face again and slowly, the smile on his face grew –it even crinkled his nose. “I love you,” he spoke earnestly.

“I love you too,” She replied just as sincere, gripping the front of his sweater. “Now stop being lazy and really kiss me,” she ordered playfully, tugging him closer.

He leaned them over, one hand resting on her lower back, the other holding her hand against his chest. “Yes ma’am,” James chuckled and then placed his lips once more upon hers.