Sanctuary

"Relax a bit, why don't ya?" Jack teased, catching a glimpse of Alex from the corner of his eye. The senior was as relaxed as could be, reclined in the driver's seat with one hand on the wheel, the other arm resting on the console, and a faint grin on his lips. It almost made Alex uncomfortable, that Jack was so low anxiety right now.

Alex's adrenalin rush slowly melted away the greater their distance grew from his house, leaving him to fidget uncomfortably with anxiety in the passenger's seat. The realization that at any moment his parents could find him out had finally set in. He felt chilled to the bone, light headed, and more nervous than he'd ever been in his life.

"I just climbed from my bedroom window for you, Jack. A second story window. I almost got caught, too, asshole! And I had to climb on my belly across the damn back yard. I can't /just relax/. What if they figure out that it's just a bunch of pillows under my sheets?"

Jack's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Wow, are you serious? Wait, how did you get down from the window?" he asked as the car drove up a ramp and merged onto the interstate. With his free hand, he fidgeted with the radio knobs until a familiar song by The Black Keys began blaring, and he rushed to turn it down a bit.

Unfazed by the commotion, Alex just heaved another sigh.

"Why does it matter?" he grumbled in annoyance. "I climbed down the awning in the back. How far away is this place?" He was desperate to change the subject and talk about something that would get his mind off of what he had just done.

"About twenty minutes. Hey! How about I open up my tailgate and you just drive right up in there!"

Jack was now wearing a scowl, glaring into his rearview mirror at the small car that was following closely behind them. Alex couldn't help but crack a smile at the boy's disgruntlement, and that made his anxiety lessen just a bit. Something about Jack always took away even his worst of fears.

"I'm telling you, Lex, once you start driving, you'll feel my pain."

"Mhmm," Alex hummed, drumming his fingers on the console. There was a long, steady silence, before he began slowly, "I know I asked you this already earlier today, but...will there be drugs?" His eyes stayed locked on the buildings and cars and trees passing and refused to look look over at Jack.

The senior reached to turn the radio down even further.

"Well," he said, obviously struggling for the most appropriate answer, "I know a pretty good number of people that will be there who aren't exactly the kids you want to be messing with if you're cautious about drugs. I, personally, won't be doing anything. If you don't mess around with them, they more than likely won't offer anything. Does that make you feel better?"

"I guess so. I'm... I'm really sorry for being so shitty, by the way."

Jack turned to Alex, aghast, his hand moving to rest on his arm. "No, no! You're fine, Alex. Really. You know I don’t do any of that stuff either."

"Yeah, I know," Alex muttered, fidgeting with the window switch. "It's just… Seth made me a lot more leery about that kind of stuff, I guess." The last thing he wanted was to make the both of them upset right before a party, but he couldn't help but feel a knot in his stomach about the upcoming night.

The car was silent aside from the gentle rumble of the road beneath them and song barely audible on the radio.

"Alex?"

"Yes?"

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

Alex sighed, licking his lips and fidgeting even more with the switch. Where should he begin? More importantly, should he tell Jack at all? This part of the Brit's life was buried deep inside of him, never drawn upon, for it caused too much heartache. No one at St. Raphael's knew. They had no business knowing, anyway. But thinking back to the beginning of the year, he could recall that this was exactly what he wanted, someone to listen to his problems and actually give a damn.

Jack gave a damn.

"He was...well, is....a little over two years older than me. So, he'd be eighteen. You two would be in the same grade level. It was... maybe a year after we moved to the United States. He started freshman year at Towson. He was kind of like me. People say we sort of looked alike, too. Plus we were both shy and socially awkward."

"You're not socially awkward," Jack cut in.

"Anyway," Alex continued seamlessly, "I think that because he was so shy, but also wanted a group to hang out with, he was willing to befriend anyone who even spoke to him, you know? Of course, that didn't turn out so well. It never does. Our parents weren't very strict on us then, they always thought of America as a place full of sunshine and rainbows for some stupid reason. It didn't take long for him to find the wrong group of friends. By the time he was a sophomore I rarely even saw him anymore. He was never home. He was always 'out.' Whatever that meant."

Eventually they caught on to the fact he had started smoking. They flipped their shit, of course, but I think that they eventually realized that weed isn't exactly a killer. So they gave him a good talking-to and just cracked down on how often he went out. He stopped going out as much, but he'd always have the creepiest fucking people over. I never told my parents but…" Alex swallowed hard to keep himself from vomiting.

"I once walked in on him, um, how do I put it? Doing a line? Yeah, he and his friend, in his bedroom."

Jack's knuckles went white on the steering wheel, his eyes wide. "Oh, wow," he breathed as the car rolled down an exit ramp.

"I don't know... Anyway, he always found ways to get his hands on that kind of stuff. He was just a time bomb ticking, you know. But, strangely enough, he didn't die of drug use. Well, technically. His drug use got so bad, he had to drop out of school. He got kicked out of the house dozens of time. I mean, he eventually came back each time, but… he was a wreck, Jack."

Alex's eyes became watery and he bit down hard on his lip to stop himself from crying. He was becoming so overemotional lately. But that was what death did to you, it broke you down to the point that you were practically raw emotionally.

"Then in March of last year, my mother found him hanging from a fucking rafter in the basement. He didn't even say goodbye. He just... up and left without a warning, didn't even a note." The Brit was becoming hysterical. "I guess he just got sick of disappointing my parents, sick of the arguing. It was constant arguing. Constant, Jack. Sometimes he would swear up and down he'd get clean, but then he'd just fall back down again and my parents would threaten to kick him out and it goes on and on."

Jack's car came to a stop near a large gathering of other vehicles surrounding a home. After he shifted the car into park, he relaxed into the leather driver's seat. Alex hadn't realized it until now, but his own skin had gone pale and he was clenching to the door handle with great force.

"Alex, relax, okay?" the lanky boy exhaled, "I want you to listen to me. The past is the past. We can't really change it, but we definitely can't just dwell on it. Your brother made mistakes, sure, but that doesn't mean that they automatically just fall onto your shoulders. I'm sorry about the whole situation, I really am. In fact, even though I haven't done shit since freshman year, I swear to you right now... that I will stand beside you in your whole anti-drug lifestyle. Does that make you feel better?"

Alex paused, contemplating if he was offended by this stupid act of pity. If there was one thing he didn't want from Jack, it was pity. But, deep down, the bloke was genuinely comforted by the boy's words. He was a genuine kid. Of course, just having him around made Alex's day that much better. But it was good to know that Jack was on his side. He was like his second home, offering him shelter against the storm that raged around him. "Thank you, Jack," he whimpered, a smile playing on his lips.

Their eyes met now, the vehicle becoming silent aside from the gentle rain that drummed lightly on the tin roof of the car.

"No problem," Jack whispered in return.

Then, as the two boys' eyes met, Alex felt that sick-to-his-stomach feeling that he hadn't felt in so, so long. His heart was racing in his chest, his skin was covered with goosebumps, his brain was turning to mush. 'Oh no… oh no, is this really about to happen?' Sure enough, Jack's deep brown eyes flicked down towards Alex's chin for only a brief second before moving back upward to meet his eyes once again. The younger boy leaned in, but only by centimeters.

But then Jack was pulling away, reaching for the door handle with that goddamned dorky grin. "Well, we better get going. Are you ready?" he asked.

That little shit had done that on purpose, just to tease him! Alex couldn't tell whether he was actually disappointed he hadn't made a move, or relieved that he didn't have to kiss him and regret it later. He was still convinced he was straight as a line, after all.

"Jack, wait," Alex found himself saying without even a second thought.

"Hm?"

Jack turned, their chocolate eyes meeting once more. Again, Alex felt the intense emotion, even stronger now. His lips twitched. He wanted this, it was for sure. He longed to know what Jack's lips felt like against his own, and, honestly, that scared him to death.

With a small movement of bodies, his wish was granted. They leaned in, and their lips ghosted each other for what felt like an eternity. Finally, Jack had the nerve to apply pressure.

The way Jack's lips felt against his own was beautiful, amazing, breathtaking. All of the positive adjectives in the English language couldn't describe the way that the two felt as their lips gently collided. Of all the first kisses that Alex had had, this kiss was by far the most the most emotion-filled.

A moment later, the two boys were pulling apart, staring at each other with wide eyes. It had happened so fast, it was almost as if both of them were too in shock to know where to go from there. So they sat in silence for a moment, just admiring one another, until Jack leaned forward as fast as lightning and snatched another peck on the lips. Then the two of them burst into fits of giggles, now shy in the presence of each other.

Alex was sure now that this was absolutely right.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The moment that the two boys stepped into the massive house, which was filled with kids their age and older, it seemed that people were constantly coming up to Jack and initiating conversation. It was evident that he was popular among this crowd of sketchy looking guys and girls in sweaters with neon colored hair. Perhaps some of that had to do with the fact that the seventeen-year-old had been in the music scene since he was only fourteen.

Each person to come and greet Jack was also introduced to Alex with, "This is my friend, Alex." As Jack said this, however, Alex noticed that he hesitated before "friend" each time. This had to mean that he was thinking exactly what Alex was thinking: 'Where on earth is this going to go?'

True, two people who had just kissed and already confessed their feelings to one another were bound to become a "thing" sooner or later. But when would that be for this duo? Also, how on earth would he explain that to his parents, or to his friends? There was no way he could. It would have to be kept a secret, even if that wouldn't be fair to Jack.

As the minutes passed, the crowd seemed to grow more and more dense. Alex found himself smothered in people before long, much like in his recent dream, only this time he wasn't quite as uncomfortable with the situation. He actually enjoyed being compact this way, surrounded by people with whom he felt like he belonged. Those surrounding him didn't know his name, and he knew none of theirs, but they were together as one, big, punk rock family.

Presently, Alex was following Jack down to the basement, weaving their way through the people who smiled at him as if they were old pals. Then, without a warning, there was an abrupt movement of people to his right, and a bony kid with his head shaved on both sides was shoved into him, his drink covering Alex's front half.

"Shit, I'm sorry, mate," the boy apologized, his voice accented so thickly that it was obvious he was from Northern England. He turned back to his friends. "Look what you did, asshole, you shoved me into this poor lad!"

Now the skinny boy was facing him once again, an eyebrow lifted and an unamused expression on his rugged face. He was more than likely around Jack's age, though the creases on his face made him look much more older and weary. Something about this kid was also vaguely familiar. "You alright? I mean, besides your clothes being soaked."

Alex nodded, his eyes wide. He probably looked a fool, but he hadn't met another Brit since he'd left the country, so he was ecstatic about this encounter. It almost made him homesick.

"I'm good. Are you from England?" he responded stiffly. The other boy rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, obviously annoyed with getting this question once again. Alex knew the feeling all too well.

"I am too," said Alex, peeking over the other's shoulder to find that Jack was returning for him since he had continued forward, thinking he was still following.

"Oh really?" The male held a fist out now, a simper showing on his face. "I'm Matthew. From Manchester. And you?"

Alex tapped his knuckles against Matthew's frail fist. "Alex. London."

From over Matt's shoulder, Alex could see Jack's face, a caterpillar eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Hey, my friend's waiting for me. I'll see you around, alright?" Alex said, shuffling past the boy and toward Jack.

"Yeah, sure," said Matt, eyeing Jack for just a brief second, giving Alex a small wave, then returning to his conversation with his friends.

"Who was that?" Jack asked as he grabbed Alex's wrist and began pulling him through the crowd again.

"Some guy named Matt. He was British, like me," Alex chimed.

Jack stopped in his tracks, turning to face him with wide eyes.

"Matt? And he was British?" he asked, his face resembling that of a person who'd just witnessed a bad train wreck.

"Yeah? What's the big deal?"

Jack pulled him closer abruptly, then leaned down to whisper in his ear. "I know his name, but I never knew what he looked like. He's a bad guy, Alex. He has a very bad reputation. He's the kind of person you need to stay away from."

There was a part of Alex deep down inside that was had a child-like curiosity to know what on earth this kid did to give him such a bad reputation.

After the older teen made Alex swear that he wouldn't get involved with the mysterious stranger, the couple made their way down to the basement, where the concert would actually be taking place. They had barely been in the dimly lit room five minutes when a couple of kids up on a makeshift stage began playing their instruments.

As the night progressed, Alex managed to have the time of his life. The music was great, the people around him were great, everything was great. Of course, Jack had been correct earlier when he said that there'd be a bunch of kids here involved in the drug scene, but the two kids managed to have fun in their own unique way.

"I'm thirsty as hell," Alex grunted after only an hour or so, pushing damp locks from his forehead. Such a tightly packed basement was hot as hell and the air was thick as molasses from the sweaty bodies of those around him.

"I'll go get you a drink," Jack cooed, ruffling his hair and sashaying away before Alex could even ask if he could go with him. Though being alone scared him to death, he figured that Jack wouldn't be able to find him in the crowd if he moved, so he stayed where he was and simply enjoyed the music.

"So we meet again," a voice to Alex's left said slyly. The brunette turned on his heels to see Matt standing right beside him, his narrow face contorted into a half-smile. Alex was unsure whether he had tracked him down or it was just coincidence that he'd found him again, but he was a bit uneasy nevertheless.

'What if he's a mass murderer-slash-rapist and I'm his next victim...'

"You know, you actually look really familiar. You're from London, you say?"

Alex gave a stiff nod. This was definitely a scene from a bad movie.

The older Brit tapped his chin for a moment with a thoughtful expression, until his face lit up dramatically. "I've got it!" he shouted, punching Alex gently on the shoulder. "You're Seth's brother!"

"Y-yeah… I," was all Alex could mutter. How the hell did he know his brother? Who was this kid?

"I was a good friend of his. Sorry to hear about… y'know."

Alex stared at Matt blankly for what was probably an awkward amount of time. This was definitely the weirdest situation he'd ever been in. He'd never seen this kid a day in his life, yet he somehow knew him?

That's when all of the confused thoughts rushing through his brain began to click. He didn't know this kid, but he had definitely seen his face before in the most unpleasant of circumstances. He was the boy that had been hitting lines in Seth's bedroom near the beginning of his brother's downfall. Matthew was the reason that Seth wound up the way he did.

Alex was petrified now. He was face to face with his brother's killer, and it was vital that he got out of this situation, fast. But he couldn't just walk away, could he?

The feeling of Jack's skinny arm snaking around his shoulders never felt so sweet.

"Can I help you?" Jack asked, his glare venomous.

Matt raised an eyebrow, perhaps confused as to why Jack had such a snide tone. "I was just having a conversation with your mate here," he said slowly with his hands raised in innocence. It was true that he had technically done nothing wrong.

"I see. Well, I'd like it if you carried on, alright?"

Matthew hesitated a few moments, giving Jack a nasty face before wandering off in the opposite direction. Alex felt Jack's body relax against his own, and he then vowed to himself that he would avoid this kid at all costs. Not that he would ever see him again, anyway.

"I never realized you had that in you," said Alex as he took the red solo cup that Jack had returned with (which was very cliché, by the way). He could have explained to Jack that he did, in fact, know Matt, but he figured it was best to just drop it. He was /not/ going to ruin Alex's fun, not tonight.

"Yeah, me either." Jack shrugged nonchalantly, not bothering to remove his arm from his shoulders. But Alex didn't complain. He couldn't have cared less what the people around them were thinking, because in this moment, everything felt absolutely right. Well, asside from the fact that he was beginning to feel fatigued. He dismissed the feeling, thinking it was just getting late and he was always kind of sleepy on Friday nights.

Five minutes, one song, and half a drink later, however, the weary feeling had grown worse. In fact, it was becoming more than just a sleepy feeling. The room was moving beneath his feet. The sound of the blaring music was growing faint.

Alex turned to tell Jack that he wasn't feeling too great, but the lanky body was no longer standing beside him. "Jack?" he called out, stumbling forward in search of his friend. "Jack?!"

The room grew more and more out of focus with each step he took. The faces he passed as he blundered through the crowd became morphed together, until everything became nothing more than a giant, moving blur. He was aware that he was going to collapse at any given moment. 'I've been drugged. I've been fucking drugged.'

"Alex? Are you alright?"

Alex managed to stumble into Jack's arms just as the lights went out.