Sanctuary

For the entirety of his afternoon classes, Alex's mind was consumed by the mysterious upperclassman. 'What is his name?' 'What kind of music does he like?' 'Did he notice my New Found Glory desktop wallpaper?' All of these questions plus more swarmed his head and left him fidgeting constantly with anxiety.

But the question that frightened Alex the most was, 'Why is it that I don't want to kill myself anymore, just because I met him?'

Not only did he not want to do away with himself, he was also smiling for once. Just a few hours ago, everything and anything ticked him off, but for the remainder of the day, he found himself grinning ear to ear for no reason whatsoever. 'Alex, he's just a lanky kid with a bracelet. Get ahold of yourself.' 'But... he smiled at me when he saw me staring at his bracelet. That has to mean something!'

Alex was going to be sick if his brain continued doing this to him. But he couldn't help it. The older boy had given him hope without even really doing anything. He had also given him more anxiety, because with the optimistic thoughts of their could-be friendship came the worry that he was one of those drug addicts, he was one of those party frequents, etc.

But he'd never know if he couldn't get up the nerve to talk to him, and right now, the odds of even seeing the boy again were slim. This was a large school, and he had never seen the face before. Then again, he was never really looking for a face like that. In fact, ever since he'd begun here, he hadn't really paid attention to anyone's faces. How could he worry about having friends or a girlfriend when he was too busy trying not to bust into tears?

The final bell rang, pulling Alex out of his own little world of thought and into the real world. He began acting without even thinking about it, packing up his things and heading out the door while staring off into space. But then his mind took control again and began scanning the crowd. He was looking for that familiar face without really meaning to.

He managed to reach the main entrance without seeing him once. 'Damn.'

Alex's heart was in his throat as he climbed onto his bus. He had been so eager to see the boy before the day ended. But by the looks of it, the only way he would see him again was if he had a computer issue during lunch. Maybe he could fake a computer issue...

'Why do I care so much?'

With a disheartened sigh, he plopped into his usual seat as the bus began to lurch forward. All he could think about was the boy, and sadly, he could only barely remember what his face looked like. In his daydream, he could see only a tall, thin figure that went to concerts with him, jammed with him, sat in his bedroom and listened to music with him.

The boy in the seat diagonal to his own produced his laptop bag. On the hard, black case was a label which had his name on it. Every student in the school had this label; however, each grade level had a color coded label. The boy's was white. He was a senior.

"You're a senior?" Alex found himself asking without even thinking about it. The young-faced brunette looked up at him, a bit surprised that a stranger was speaking to him. Alex was surprised he was speaking to him too.

"Yeah."

'Here goes nothing.' "Do you happen to know the name of the kid who works at the help desk during fifth period? He's either a junior or a senior. Very tall, brunette, big nose."

The boy thought for a moment, and to Alex's dismay he shook his head. "No... I don't think so. Sorry."

And with that, Alex sank down into his seat and began unraveling his headphones so that he could listen to music. He tried to convince himself that the kid was probably just like all the rest of them. He tried to drown out his broken daydreams with music.

"Wait!"

The sophomore looked up at the stranger hopefully.

"I think his name is Jack Barakat. He's the one that helped me when I had trouble during fifth period the other day."

Alex could barely contain himself as he unlocked his iPhone and tapped the Facebook app with record speed. God, he felt like such a creep. 'At least it doesn't alert someone when their name is searched,' he thought to himself with a light chuckle as he tapped in the letters. There it was, a name with '3 mutual friends' beneath it.

As the Brit dug through his thankfully unblocked profile, a smile slowly crept across his face. Jack's profile was the proof Alex needed to conclude that the two boys should be friends.

The upperclassman's profile picture was a candid shot of the himself playing a sweet guitar in a dimly lit and very nice looking venue. The same applied to a majority of his other photos. The few pictures where he wasn't playing guitar, he was leaning against a wall looking professional, or standing with a large group of friends. Regardless, Alex could tell that this kid knew what he was doing.

This all took place on a Wednesday, but it wasn't until Friday night that Alex gathered up the nerve to actually send Jack a friend request. In the meantime, the younger boy was a nervous wreck. 'Surely he'll recognize me and wonder how the hell I got his name.' 'I'm going to come off as creepy as hell.' 'He probably won't even accept it.'

It took a deep breath, a count to three, and a quick tap/close the app, for the deed to be done.

The next morning, he woke up to two notifications on his phone.

'Facebook: Jack Barakat has accepted your friend request.'

'Facebook: Jack Barakat: "Hey, do I know you?"'

~~~~

It took a few moments to register that Alex had received a message from Jack. In fact, it took him a good two minutes to even remember who Jack was. Alex's world was a blur until it registered that the mysterious boy he had met a few days ago had not only accepted his friend request, but also taken the incentive to chat him first, and he sat up in bed with a jolt. His fingers couldn't move fast enough to unlock the device.

'Alright, so he doesn't recognize me,' he thought to himself as he waited for Facebook to load. 'That's good. He can't call me out for being a creep now. But, shit... what do I say? I can't just say I went around asking for his name like some kind of stalker. Maybe I could say he was in my suggested friends?' He thought for a few moments before typing up his response.

Alex Gaskarth: 'Well. We go to the same school and you look really familiar. I'm not sure if we've ever actually met, though.'

Moments after Alex's message was sent, a little chat bubble appeared to indicate the other boy was typing a response. 'Oh, God, he's going to call me out!'

Jack Barakat: 'Oh ok, yeah you look familiar too. What grade are you in?'

Alex sighed with relief. Either he truly didn't recognize him or he was just playing dumb as to not embarrass the younger boy. How sweet of him.

'Should I lie about my age too? Surely a senior would rather be caught dead than talking to a sophomore. Right?'

Alex Gaskarth: 'Im a sophomore -.- how about you?'

'I'd rather take a risk than deal with the humiliation of him finding out later on that I lied.'

Jack Barakat: 'Im a senior'

Alex Gaskarth: 'Lucky'

Jack Barakat: 'I know its great!'

Alex Gaskarth: 'Just 3 years left for me :P What are you doing after high school?'

Jack Barakat: 'Well unless my band get signed by some miracle, I'm probably going to Towson U.'

Alex realized now, thinking back to the photos on the other boy's profile, that most people don't play at venues alone, and the group of boys he had seen Jack standing with in a few of his photos looked like musicians themselves. He briefly wondered what their band name was and what kind of music they played. He'd save that question for another time, though. He had bigger fish to fry.

Alex Gaskarth: 'Sweet, that's where I'll probably go too. What kind of music do you like?'

The Brit crossed his fingers.

Jack Barakat: 'Uhh Fall Out Boy, Blink 182, My Chemical Romance, New Found Glory, that type of stuff.'

Alex couldn't help but grin, pleased he had found someone much like himself. Well, somewhat. All he knew so far was that the boy played guitar and liked his kind of music. There was still a vast ocean of things left to discover about Jack Barakat. But Alex was optimistic.

'Please be different, Jack. Please don't be like all the other kids.'

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

After having chatted on Facebook for quite a few hours, Jack finally admitted that he was out shopping with his parents and, for simplicity's sake, gave Alex his cell phone number.

For the remainder of the weekend, the boys texted back and forth non-stop. Alex learned that Jack was an only child, had attended a private school his entire life (though he had his disliking for Catholicism), played guitar for the school's jazz band, dyed his hair every summer since school prohibited it, ate mostly pasta, and the list could really go on. Hell, on Sunday afternoon, Alex had mustered up the courage to ask if the upperclassman "did anything illegal." He was drug free aside from the few times he had tried marijuana freshman year.

Each little fact that Alex learned about Jack made him love the boy even more (in a totally no-homo way.) After knowing him only a few days, he was beginning to develop a trust in the boy, something he did with very few people.

'Dude, I'm so glad I met you,' Alex texted him on Sunday night as he half-did his English II homework. Sure, it sounded like something straight out of a chick-flick, but it was the truth. Ever since he had met the boy, he had had a totally different outlook on things. He was happier, and he still wasn't sure why.

'Yeah, same here :) tbh youre cooler than most of my friends haha,' Jack responded.

The fact that he apparently had the same effect on Jack had Alex smiling through to the next day, another dreadful Monday. For the first time in his school career, however, it wasn't such a dreadful day after all. Jack spotted him between first and second period, and, if Alex wasn't mistaken, his face lit up when he saw him approaching. A fist bump was exchanged, and it left Alex grinning from ear to ear again.

'Why the fuck does he make me smile like this?'

'Maybe it's because he's my only friend and I'm just excited. Yeah, that's it.'

But what Alex didn't realize was that the reason was much deeper than that.