My Life in Bursts
December 2nd, 2013
Mood: Angry and depressed
Music: Strife by Trivium
Time: 8:38 PM
I feel like I'm being punished for the bad behavior that I've displayed over Thanksgiving break. I say this for a couple of reasons....
Last night, I found a spider on my bathroom counter when I was brushing my teeth, then, when I went to go to sleep, I found another one on my bedroom wall, and this morning, before I went to school, I saw a big one near the front door. In fact, I almost stepped on it. I didn't even know it was there in the first place. Oh, and rewind a bit, because after I brushed my teeth this morning, I saw a giant fake mosquito flying around in my bathroom. I managed to corner it in the tub and kill it, but still, it freaked me the heck out even though I was barely awake.
It's beyond ridiculous. Normally, when you see a spider, that's the end of it, and there won't be another one coming for at least a few days; but it seems like I've now broken a new record and then some.
So am I being punished? Is God being a dick to people with arachnophobia now? If that's the case, I better start praying.
In all seriousness though, I know I need to shape up. I've been making a lot of changes and improvements to my life over the past few months, and I've become a better person because of it, but I'm starting to slip up again, big time.
I blame that on both my birthday and Thanksgiving (my birthday was on November the 25th, by the way). What do both of these special days have in common? Well, they're both supposed to be great and fun, but every time they come around, I only ever feel depressed, overwhelmed, and jealous. This is because I'm nowhere near any family members besides my parents, and I have no friends outside of the internet.
Then, when I go on Facebook, I see all of these pictures from friends which show them smiling and having a great time at holiday parties and such with friends and family. It makes me so jealous.
I know, I know, it's my fault for not making the most of it. It's my fault that I don't have any friends. It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault. I'm already rubbing it in my own face enough as it is. Why do you think I'm listening to that song mentioned above? Aside from my obvious obsession with the band, the lyrics to Strife perfectly capture the essence of what I am thinking and feeling. I can relate to it so well it hurts.
And with that said, I think I'm just going to end it there. Thank you, Mibba, for letting me get these things off my chest.
Until next time....
Music: Strife by Trivium
Time: 8:38 PM
I feel like I'm being punished for the bad behavior that I've displayed over Thanksgiving break. I say this for a couple of reasons....
Last night, I found a spider on my bathroom counter when I was brushing my teeth, then, when I went to go to sleep, I found another one on my bedroom wall, and this morning, before I went to school, I saw a big one near the front door. In fact, I almost stepped on it. I didn't even know it was there in the first place. Oh, and rewind a bit, because after I brushed my teeth this morning, I saw a giant fake mosquito flying around in my bathroom. I managed to corner it in the tub and kill it, but still, it freaked me the heck out even though I was barely awake.
It's beyond ridiculous. Normally, when you see a spider, that's the end of it, and there won't be another one coming for at least a few days; but it seems like I've now broken a new record and then some.
So am I being punished? Is God being a dick to people with arachnophobia now? If that's the case, I better start praying.
In all seriousness though, I know I need to shape up. I've been making a lot of changes and improvements to my life over the past few months, and I've become a better person because of it, but I'm starting to slip up again, big time.
I blame that on both my birthday and Thanksgiving (my birthday was on November the 25th, by the way). What do both of these special days have in common? Well, they're both supposed to be great and fun, but every time they come around, I only ever feel depressed, overwhelmed, and jealous. This is because I'm nowhere near any family members besides my parents, and I have no friends outside of the internet.
Then, when I go on Facebook, I see all of these pictures from friends which show them smiling and having a great time at holiday parties and such with friends and family. It makes me so jealous.
I know, I know, it's my fault for not making the most of it. It's my fault that I don't have any friends. It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault. I'm already rubbing it in my own face enough as it is. Why do you think I'm listening to that song mentioned above? Aside from my obvious obsession with the band, the lyrics to Strife perfectly capture the essence of what I am thinking and feeling. I can relate to it so well it hurts.
And with that said, I think I'm just going to end it there. Thank you, Mibba, for letting me get these things off my chest.
Until next time....