My Life in Bursts
December 7th, 2013
Mood: Extremely depressed
Music: In a World Like This by Backstreet Boys
Time: 9:30 PM
I am such a failure. Every time I pick myself up off the proverbial floor and take strides towards a better future, I somehow always manage to fall back down again just days later. Alfred, you were right about falling so that we can learn to pick ourselves up again, but let's face it, I'm no Batman, I'm just a loser with an inferiority complex and a canker sore. No, seriously, I have one right in my freaking mouth, and it hurts like hell. My throat hurts too. Oh, and I have a final exam, an end-of-term group presentation, and a load of other stuff that is all due this coming week on Monday and Tuesday. But I think I may have already mentioned that before.
I just wish the Backstreet Boys could teleport right into my room and comfort me and tell me it's all going to be okay. Their music has made this day a hell of a lot more bearable, but it still sucks, and if they could just show up here, right now, that would be awesome. And yes, I love that band, don't judge me.
You know, I wish someone could just give me a sign. I want God, if he's up there, to come down and lift me up again. I don't want to keep living like this, I really truly don't. I keep saying that I'm getting better, when in reality, I never do. I just complain and complain and complain. And I know, there are kids out there with no clothes, no shelter, no food, no parents, no nothing. I know that, I really do. But I just can't make myself realize how good I actually have it. This sorrow... it blinds me, makes me weak, and takes control of me like an unseen puppeteer yanking me around by invisible strings.
I hate knowing that this is all my fault, and that no matter how hard anyone tries to make me feel better, it'll always be me who decides my destiny at the end of the day. Me, and no one else. So really, if I can't even save me from myself, what else is left?
*sigh* God, if you want to bring the spiders back, go ahead. I have failed.
Music: In a World Like This by Backstreet Boys
Time: 9:30 PM
I am such a failure. Every time I pick myself up off the proverbial floor and take strides towards a better future, I somehow always manage to fall back down again just days later. Alfred, you were right about falling so that we can learn to pick ourselves up again, but let's face it, I'm no Batman, I'm just a loser with an inferiority complex and a canker sore. No, seriously, I have one right in my freaking mouth, and it hurts like hell. My throat hurts too. Oh, and I have a final exam, an end-of-term group presentation, and a load of other stuff that is all due this coming week on Monday and Tuesday. But I think I may have already mentioned that before.
I just wish the Backstreet Boys could teleport right into my room and comfort me and tell me it's all going to be okay. Their music has made this day a hell of a lot more bearable, but it still sucks, and if they could just show up here, right now, that would be awesome. And yes, I love that band, don't judge me.
You know, I wish someone could just give me a sign. I want God, if he's up there, to come down and lift me up again. I don't want to keep living like this, I really truly don't. I keep saying that I'm getting better, when in reality, I never do. I just complain and complain and complain. And I know, there are kids out there with no clothes, no shelter, no food, no parents, no nothing. I know that, I really do. But I just can't make myself realize how good I actually have it. This sorrow... it blinds me, makes me weak, and takes control of me like an unseen puppeteer yanking me around by invisible strings.
I hate knowing that this is all my fault, and that no matter how hard anyone tries to make me feel better, it'll always be me who decides my destiny at the end of the day. Me, and no one else. So really, if I can't even save me from myself, what else is left?
*sigh* God, if you want to bring the spiders back, go ahead. I have failed.