Infernal

Nina's POV

I couldn't move.

There was nothing restraining me—I just couldn't bat a lash. But I was moving. Weirdest contradiction ever.

It felt like I was watching a recording from inside the TV—like I was inside the movie. I'd only felt this way once and I remembered it clearly.

When I'd gotten that vision from Cameron's past... This was the same feeling.

I wanted to take a step back when a tuxed-up Cameron left a room and made his way down the hall of... of their house! I recognized his look promptly. Dark shirt with a popped button, open tux and his often tousled hair sleek. It was from the night of the dance—the night when... when Fallens got to my family.

I had the urge to swallow, but couldn't. When had my Power come out? Why was I—

Cameron felt so close and yet like he could never touch me. He kept walking, not seeing me. Because I'm not actually here, I thought, this is a memory. His memory.

The scenery I hadn't been paying attention to, changed as Cameron ambled down the stairs. The living room was exactly how I remembered, big enough to turn into a dance studio.

Cameron groaned, catching my attention.

"You know," he said in a reasonably loud voice. "You have to be the only person who has neck-breaking speed and chooses to move slower than a slug."

I heard something slamming, then, a blur rushed stopping behind one of the couches. If this didn't feel like an outside-of-body experience, my heart would've ran a mile and back with happiness and heartache.

A near identical carbon-copy of Cameron grinned in the laziest way a cat stretching under the sun would. The sandy-copper hair contrasting with the electric blue was as breathtaking as I recalled, a merge of a beautiful sunset setting behind the purest ocean.

"Being fashionably late is my signature, bro, don't cramp my style." Cam rolled his eyes. "You're nervous." Phillip taunted when Cam picked up a tooled glass and poured himself some Bourbon. Nice.

"Nervous?" Cameron spat like it left a bad taste in his mouth. "Why would I be nervous? It's just another Winter Ball."

Phillip jumped over the couch's back, landing messily on the cushions not caring about wrinkled clothes.

"It's the first one you're going to." If I could blink I would've.

Cameron watched the liquor in his glass with interest.

"You're the one who likes that school spirit crap."

"Exactly." He sat, legs drawn up and a smartass smirk on his face. "Why are you going this year? Last year would've made more sense, you actually had a date—"

"You don't have anyone either, Dr. Phil."

Phillip arched a brow, still all-smiles to get under his brother's skin.

"I think you're going this year because of a certain blond Psychic."

Cameron heaved a sigh, drowning the glass. Phillip got off the couch brushing his clothes into place, when he walked towards Cam he pulled out his cell.

"What are you...?" he frowned stepping back.

"Making sure I keep a souvenir. You know, for future blackmail? It's not everyday I see my big, bad brother blushing—" the younger twin laughed when Cam tried to snatch it away. "Maybe I'll show it to Nina, it's really kind of adorable."

Eyes slitting, Cameron whooshed towards Phillip. Anticipating his twin's movements, Phillip did the exact same thing, ending up where Cameron had been standing.

Infuriated, Cam whirled, "I'm not blushing and I'm not nervous—stop taking pictures!" He yelled and I wanted to laugh, because Cam's cheeks were flushed.

"Who said anything about photos? Recording is so much more fun." Phillip's glib attitude caused Cam to shake in annoyance.

"Dick."

"Jerk."

Tucking the phone away, Phillip flashed two dimples.

"What now?" He murmured with a little distrust, like Phill was an unpredictable wild animal and he was trying to anticipate the next deadly move.

Phillip gave a brotherly pat to Cameron's shoulder.

"It's okay to want something, Cameron." Phillip murmured suddenly, too serious and frowning. "It's okay to be happy."

Turning for the door, Cameron ignored his brother and even asleep, I felt my heart beating faster.

"She makes you happy, brother, you just push her away because you think you don't deserve to feel that way, but you're wrong—"

Cameron slammed the heavy door throwing my world into a splash of blackness.

I couldn't move. Only this time, the reason why was completely different. I had a body, I felt it and other things, too. Prying my eyes open, I wished the curtain would pull itself closed.

There was no itch across my veins, my Power had gone dormant. But there was something across my back, something that caused me great pleasure and incapacitated me. Cameron's arm worked as a band of lead, trapping my body on his.

I had no clue how we'd gotten this intertwined. One of his legs was between mine, I was lying on my stomach on top of his chest, a hand over his steady heartbeat and the other...

"You smell so good." My gaze shot up, seeing a pair of obsidian eyes sleepily open.

The arm on my waist held tight as he moved his shoulders and neck working out kinks as well as possible. I stared in awe, speechless.

A deep chuckle caused my head to swoon. His free hand reached for the one on his chest. Cam's fingers skimmed over mine delicately, and like a gentleman from times long past, he took it to his lips planting a weightless kiss. My heart thrummed heavily as his gaze flickered to mine.

"Hi," he said.

I think I stared for two whole minutes because his sexy lips curved.

"Hi... Good morning." I smiled feeling the warmth of his body against mine. This felt right on so many levels it scared me worse than a Zombie apocalypse.

"Sleep alright?" I nodded. Cameron blinked looking down. "So much for keeping my hands to myself..." he muttered to himself.

"It's okay—I mean, you didn't molest me in my sleep or anything creepy so... Your hands didn't get too happy." Unlike my nosy Power, I thought.

Cameron let out a short laugh and I begged the freaking Universe to make this last a little longer. I wasn't sure what to make of what I'd seen—I already knew Cameron cared and lusted for me, but... I also knew there was more than care between two people, more than physical attraction.

I felt it deeply.

Finding out Cameron had attended that wretched dance to see me, that he'd been nervous... it made me think he knew it too, just didn't want to accept it. Like Phillip had said, he thought he didn't deserve me. I wish I knew why.

"I like this," I said slowly. A dark eyebrow arched. "When it's peaceful and we're alone."

I blushed harder when he nodded, head lowering, a soft smile painted on his mouth. My lips shook at our proximity, a charge flooded the rest of my body.

"Five seconds." Cam whispered.

"...what...?" I heaved, getting drunk with his breath rolling over my face.

Someone tried the door. Didn't open. A loud knock later, I cringed. I'd spoken too soon.

Cameron's steel hold kept me on him like peanut-butter on jelly.

"What?" he growled to whoever.

"Get your ass out of bed—both of you! We have a Witch to see!" Courtney knew I was in here. That made feel dirty, like I'd been caught by my boyfriend's mom.

Cam's nose nuzzled my temple melting my worries into the gutter.

"Fun time's over, lovebird. The messed up reality called life awaits." I groaned—my hands grasped his biceps as he sat us up. "Never took you for the clingy type." He teased.

I glared, "I'm actually more of a kicking type." My knee slammed his thigh. He gasped a laugh.

I managed to slid off him, going for the end of bed.

"Violent little thing." Cam grabbed me from behind locking my back to his chest. "Keep your feistiness for them, okay?"

"No worries I have enough for all of you." I struggled out of his grip, but it was like going head-to-head with Superman.

"Good to hear that." I felt him grinning against my hair then rolled off to the side, standing up. Sunlight hit that golden skin of his making me think of rich honey. "You should leave," I cocked my head totally mystified by those rippling abs. Cameron's fingers began tugging down his boxers—

I swear the beating of my virgin heart was muffling my ears. Covering my eyes with a hand—or my face—I scurried for the door, hitting a bed corner on the way there. When I was safe on the outside, laughs fluttered from inside. First I wanted to charge back in, rip his tongue out and flush it. Then... then my heart did a weird back-flip and a smile tipped my lips as I walked for my bedroom.

I took a five minute shower, wrapping my hair in a hand-towel as I got dried off and dressed. I pulled a skinny, turtleneck with red rhombus' all over the place. V really liked patterns, nearly all the tops she'd bought had them. I was zipping my tight jeans when the door was pushed open.

Tingle. Cam.

"Knock!" I gasped, buttoning the jeans, praying he hadn't glimpsed my black panties.

Cameron leaned on the door, arms crossed.

"Everything was quiet inside, I thought you were waiting for me to come and get you." When I stopped glaring at his freakishly handsome face, I noticed something.

"White," I stated like a first grader. "You're wearing white."

Cam tugged the hem looking down, like he'd just noticed. All this time, I'd only seen him wearing darker clothes, except for denim jeans. Maybe it was from habit but I liked dark colors on him, not that Cam looked anything less than perfect in his white sweatshirt, sleeves pulled up and all.

"You done?"

I snapped back into action, unfolding my hair towel. It was almost dry but I had to comb it or I'd be dealing with serious tangles once it was—

"What..." I chocked when my hairbrush vanished from my grip. Cameron had zoomed right behind me and was now holding it, examining it like a foreign object. "If you want to see the Witch fast—"

"Turn around." Cameron twirled his finger looking up into my eyes.

"Come again?"

"Turn around, it's a simple action. Do you need this much time to process it?" Grinding my teeth, I tried grabbing the brush back. "Too slow." His teasing little grin made me want to smash a knee between his legs.

"You're such a brat sometimes! Aren't you in a hurry for—ah, Cam!" I yelped when his fingers curled over my shoulders and I got whirled around, then pulled back a few steps and finally pushed down. We were sitting on my bed—well, he was sitting on the bed, I was on his lap. "You... what are you..."

Slowly, he disentangled my hair. I realized it felt slowly because Cam was being so gentle, but he was going at it a lot quicker than any human ever could. Then, he began brushing it and that he did human-paced. I was frozen, hands clasped between my knees, and chin slightly lowered. I felt like a doll or something equally fragile. Every so often Cameron tilted me against him, tipping my head up. He sorted my hair out, all of it. Not once did it hurt when he sunk the brush's teeth and pulled down.

"Who's a brat?" He mocked parting my hair to the side, kissing me behind an ear. My muscles went rigid. "I know how you can make it up to me."

A deep frown claimed a spot on my face. Twisting around, I faced his glinting midnight eyes.

"Whoever said I felt guilty?"

"Your body tells me everything I need to know—" I nearly fainted—everything? "Now," he licked his lips. "About how you can make it up to me?" I waited for something dirty, this was Cam after all. He was gentle and romantic one minute, perverted the next. "Wear your hair in ponytail."

"Huh?" He nodded telling me I'd heard right. "Why the heck do you want that? I thought you were going to ask..." I silenced myself, before my own words buried me alive.

Showing a wolfish smirk Cameron leaned close.

"What dirty little thing crossed your deviant mind, hmm?" He blew out a breath right above my lips causing me to shake. "Did you think I was going to ask for a kiss?" Cam's smirk widened when he heard my heart beating out of pace. "Don't worry, Rapunzel, if I want a kiss I won't ask—I'll just take it."

"Are you saying I'm easy?"

"I'm saying I don't wait around for what I want, I take it."

Cooling down, I cleared my throat, holding up a wrist between us. Cameron slipped the hair-scrunchy off, handing it over.

"Mine aren't any good, they always end up messy and—"

"I know." My mouth made an O. "I distinctively remember telling you how sexy it looked once. Remember that?" I did.

Shifting to the front so I wouldn't see his pinned eyes on my every move, I took the elastic band and pulled back the smoothed out waves, hating that I was about to ruin his fantastic work with my untidiness. I tried pinching as many stray hairs as possible, but they ran away from me like smoke.

"Happy now?" I murmured with a sulky expression. His two-thousand watt smirk spoke volumes. "Glad I could please you. Can we go now? Actually, where are we going? Didn't you say Witches were—"

"How can such a small thing like you have so many batteries? You haven't even eaten breakfast yet!" I lifted my finger about to argue— "I don't know where we're going, I don't know who we'll be seeing. I haven't talked to Rory, yet. And Witches... it's not that they're evil like Demons and Fallens—they're neutral. That's what makes them so damn dangerous."

"Neutral? As in they're impartial?"

"As in, they can tip any way. They can stand with us or against us. Work for the baddies or for the goodies—get it? Witches and Warlocks are the only ones who know how to channel the essence around us—that's called Magic." He explained leaning back on his elbows. "There are many types of Magic, though."

I shifted off his lap, taking a seat beside him, looking intently into his eyes. "Adriel said God created Demons, Angels and humans—he said He didn't created other creatures—so where did Witches come from?"

Cam tilted his head, debating something.

"My father—" my eyes burst in size. "Well, it wasn't his call to do it—he was acting on orders from God. When His Power created humans—before He moved on—God gave orders to my father, telling him to deliver special knowledge to a number of selected individuals. My dad made more contact with humans than any other Angel—" he paused and I noticed a muscle jumping in his jaw. It happened every time he spoke of his father. Not his mother, though. "Anyway, my dad followed through. He visited them and passed on the information God had encrypted into his head for that special purpose, once his task was done, it vanished from his memory. Like it had never been there. That's why only humans who descend from those people know how to use Magic—it can't be taught to a random kid, either you're born with the knowledge or you aren't."

I lowered my head onto a fist, "But... why?"

"Why would He create Witches?" I nodded. "My dad thought it gave mankind a fighting chance if Angels ever turned against them. Some did, that's why they fell." He sat up like a bolt and nodded towards the door. "Q&A's over. Let's go see a Witch about a Hell Gate."

***

Pierre had been stationed outside my bedroom when we walked out. Cam's initial reaction had been a snarl until I handled things, asking why he'd been there.

"Romeo and your friend already went to the Witch's place, he told me to take you there when you were ready." He'd answered mildly amused by Cam's constant glare.

He'd guided us outside the mansion and into a black Jeep. We'd drove through skinny streets, some emptier than air, and after many turns Pierre had stopped the car. Now, here we were standing on the corner of Dumaine St. right outside a store with walls painted a dirty white, with metal bars on the windows and a wooden sign hanging over our heads reading Spiritus.

"It's Latin, means 'spirit'." Cam's lip brushed my cheek and I turned slightly to the left, looking up into fathomless eyes. "Voodoo isn't real, by the way." At my frown, he jerked his chin toward the live-sized voodoo doll on the wall. "None of the chants they give out work it's just for tourists and credulous humans. It wheels money in like you wouldn't believe." It wasn't too hard to buy that. Humans often turned to the occult because of despair, wasting what they had and hadn't.

Pierre pushed past the door, an old-fashioned bell rang as we walked in. Walls were lined with shelves, every last one had jars; there were charms hanging from necklaces and bracelets. Candles in different shapes and sizes were positioned across a long counter. There were so many things to see... I didn't know where to turn my head next. And there was a rosemary scent wafting from a incense stick, slowly burning into ash.

"Wait here." He said over a shoulder, going around the counter and parting a curtain of blue shimmering beads, disappearing.

Cameron tugged me, "Look here," he tapped a finger on a jar with some brown, cylinder roots, a vivid shade of red sap oozed from the clean cuts. "This is Bloodroot."

"The thing I tossed at Raphael?"

"The very same. Only yours was ready to aim and fire. This one still need to be brunt to ash. See, there are many plants and herbs with special properties but they only come out and play if you use them right. Bloodroot can paralyze someone if it's inhaled." I pointed at another jar, where bell-shaped, white flowers sprouted from a thick and fibrous rhizome root. "Ague Root, if you extract its oil and sprinkle yourself with it—like perfume—Demons can't touch you. They'll burn if they do."

"This is so cool..." I almost said he was so cool. He knows so much, I sighed leaning into his side.

"The library back home is filled with these types of books and I got really bored as a kid." He shrugged, like everyone knew plants and their supernatural abilities. "I can teach you when we get back..." hair shifted into his eyes. "If you want to."

When we got back. As in, we were going to survive, and when we returned we'd still be close—that sounded terrifying and amazing.

"I'd like that." I bit my lip. "A lot."

Cameron gave me a dimpled smile, something close to shyness roamed that expression. To stifle a blush, I found a pretty flower with outer rose-pink petals, and the inside a creamy tone, the fern-like leaves appeared heart shaped.

"A Bleeding Heart," his words sounded softly. "It doesn't do much. They say if you crush it while thinking about the person you love, you'll find out if they love you back."

"How? Does Cupid pop up or something equally freaky?"

Cam snorted a laugh, "Nothing that elaborate. If the flower's juice is red, you are loved back. If it's white..."

"You're not." He nodded.

I fell silent, dragging my eyes from the Bleeding Heart. Talking about love and flowers with Cameron—about a future—made my stomach all twisty. I couldn't figure out what pushed our gazes together, or who touched whose hand first, I did know that his long fingers were curled into mine—

"Left them alone for five minutes... It's a miracle their clothes are still on." Rory's voice came from the curtain of blue beads playfully, but our hands dropped away and we straightened.

Smirking in a way only he could pull off, Cameron leaned on the shelf, mouth swooned shut until a young woman—a good head taller than me—caught his eye. Dark, caramel curls hung over round, misty eyes and her small mouth was pursed, in either thought or wonder.

My inner-bitch tried to claw its way out, urging me to hug Cam's arm or something equally childish and possessive. Breathing a big one, I shot down the need.

"This the Witch?" He flatly asked, giving one nod towards the stone-still girl.

Courtney took a few steps from Romeo's side, as if stating a point to him, then scowled lightly in Cam's direction. I didn't mind his apparent lack in manners.

"You're a Nephilim? For real...?" The words were awed, small.

Romeo rolled his eyes and Pierre chuckled quietly, hanging by the far end wall behind the counter. Cameron stared at her with a frown.

"Yes," he said.

"I've never met one before." What was she? A groupie? "I thought Angels were forbidden from having... relationships with humans." She meant sex.

Cam shifted with hidden discomfort. I could feel he didn't like being probed like some specimen, especially in front of all these people. Not that he'd ever admit to it.

"And I never met a Witch." I stepped between them, taking a stand. "So, how are you going to help with our Hell-Gate-problem?"

Her eyes seized me up. A lip corner turned in half a smile.

"I never met a Psychic, either." My face slacked, a little. "They told me about what you are, about your problem. If we're getting straight to the point, I think there's a spell I can try. My name's Sabine, by the way."

And just like that, Sabine revealed a stronger composure, bewilderment out the window, she set her hands on the counter, hauling her body weight easily, sitting on the wooden surface. I wondered how many kinds of Magic there were, how powerful it was and if all Witches had the same level of power.

"Okay," Cam stepped forward, arms dropping. "What's the spell?"

Sabine reclined on her elbows, crossing a leg, totally at ease with being surrounded by two Cambions, a Nephilim and a Vampire. Took some confidence.

"I'm sure you know Witches can channel and bend the essence around us, some do it with nature elements, talismans, charms—my family's Magic has always been about channeling the essence of celestial bodies, by that, I mean things like planets, stars, comets—you catch my drift." Cameron was quiet and unresponsive, like all she said made perfect sense. "This is a spell—a ritual—only a member from my bloodline can perform, because it involves drawing energy from the moon."

The moon. We needed it full. Could she like... make it happen faster? No, that had to be impossible.

I hated the way Cameron's eyes were lit, two sparks that would shine in oblivion, soaking up the hope she was giving him. He hadn't even heard it all—what if it didn't work? I'd hate for him to crash and burn.

"Cameron," Courtney spoke up. "This is a dangerous spell. I had no idea when Romeo first came to me—"

"I don't care." The words were bold. True. "Whatever I need to do, I'll do it." A shiver creepy-crawled its way down my spine.

Sabine leaned forward, evaluating the young man before her.

"Courtney said Gabriel was your father," I noticed the slow heave his chest did at his dad's name. "This ritual will only work if that's true."

"It is." She smiled.

"Gabriel was connected to the moon, God made it so every Archangel had a connection to a celestial body. That way, if they got too weak, they would be able to draw some considerable amount of strength. The essence in Gabriel's Power was the same as the moon—there's a bridge between his blood and the moon. Since the full moon isn't going to show for another month, I can't tap into its full potential, not without a direct link." She looked at Cam. "You can't draw energy from the moon, it's an ability only Archangels have, but you're his son—your blood still has that property. I can force it open and extract enough energy to open the Gate."

While all their faces shone with knowledge, mine drew a blank. A bad taste was left in my mouth, like bile. I was out of my element. I'd never felt like this whenever Cam showed how much he knew—about everything. So why now?

Cameron's eyes were strictly paused on Simone's. He hadn't looked once at me, I knew it was stupid to feel outed, especially when we could be near a turning point, but... I couldn't fight the feeling that this girl—this stranger—understood something I didn't. Because they'd been raised in the same supernatural environment.

I was a newbie with no fighting power who, so far, had gotten her family killed and my best friend dragged into Hell. I'd struck luck twice, paralyzing Raphael and killing that other Angel... just dumb luck.

It made me think—again—how V would've been a better choice to come along, not matter how Cameron denied it and explained that I kept him grounded. He needed people who could fight, protect themselves. Sabine would help him a ton more.

I fell back a step, looking to my shoes.

"That's a great plan," Rory started with a bitter undertone, I frowned, turning to face her. "Now tell him the part where he might die while you're harboring the full moon."

My eyes whiplashed Sabine's.

"He could die?" I breathed, angry. "You should've mentioned that on advance, not get his hopes up and—"

A hand caught my elbow, I'd been marching towards the Witch without realizing it. Cameron's mouth was set in a straight line.

"Nina," he said through gritted teeth. "Shut up." The command wasn't loud or mean, but soft and low.

I tugged my arm away, a rush to string multiple curses girls shouldn't know became hard to swallow.

"Why might I die?"

Sabine slid off, leaning on the counter near Romeo.

"You understand what I need you for?"

Cameron nodded, "You need me as an intermediary—like an open door between the moon and you."

"Right. Through that 'door' I'll pull energy and lock it in a moonstone. Think of it like an electrical current, it courses from the moon, through your body and into the stone." Good analogy. If my mood wasn't so sour, I would've smiled because electricity was Cameron's specialty. "You know how each light bulb has a limit? Like, if you give them to much they'll blow up? Well, it's the same with the human body. All the energy I'm going to pull out might fry you."

"You're saying he might blow up?"

Sabine rolled her eyes at the older Cambion.

"No. I'm saying his brain might burst which will cause massive bleeding, and with all the moon charge his Power might not work fast enough." She shrugged meekly. "I've never done this ritual before, obviously. You're the only person besides your father or your brother that can be used, so I can't guarantee anything—I can't give you a percentage of success and failure. But... but personally I would wait for the full moon."

"I don't need your opinion. I don't care. I can't wait for the next full moon—I need to get inside Hell as soon as possible, and if you can do this ritual, I'll do it." Was it wrong that I wanted to throw a brick at his thick skull? "I'm doing it."

He turned on his heel, stealing those abyss-deep eyes away, and stormed off for the door—the bell sung before the slam.

I didn't speak on the ride back to the house. Between me and him, Rory sat with a grimace. She could feel the bursting storm inside both of us. When we were finally alone and walking down the hallway to our rooms, I blew out a heavy sigh, stopping.

He didn't stop, so my hand lurched for his. That did it.

"It's too risky." I hissed. "You heard what she said, didn't you? You might die. There's a good chance it won't work and you might not make it."

"It's a chance I'm willing to take."

"No," my voice cracked. "Cam... don't. Please wait—please! The full moon isn't that far away—"

"It's a month away, Nina!" He yelled. And I saw true anger towards me. I stepped back, wide-eyed. "Do you know what you're asking me to do? To let Phillip stew in Hell—in a place where everyone wants a piece of him? He might not have a month."

A chill zigzagged from my stomach. I knew what I was asking was selfish, that I was betraying my friendship with Phill by trying to convince his brother to wait a whole month for a chance at rescuing him... But it couldn't be helped. Cameron was on a near-suicidal plan. The coldest of fears shook me whenever I remembered... remembered him dying.

"Alright. You go through with the ritual and it doesn't work. You're dead, the Gate's closed. What will happen to Phillip then? Who's going to get him, Cameron?" I saw frustration hovering his gaze. "And do you honestly want to throw away the sacrifice he did—giving himself up so you could live?"

Cam flinched like I'd cut out a piece of his heart. I licked my lips, tasting how cruel my words had sounded.

"Cameron."

His jaw was locked up, Adam apple bobbing as he swallowed dryly.

"I can't wait a month, Nina, it's too long. This with the spell... It's a risk I'm willing to take, I have to." His eyes dipped for the ground. "I owe my brother. I can't leave him there to rot and the more time it takes the worse it'll be for him." When our gazes met, his was troubled with pain, like he'd been stabbed with a spork. "I can't do that to my brother."

I knew that. Saving Phillip was the right thing to do. The honorable thing. I wanted it too, God knew how my heart twisted each time I heard his name, or remembered the boyish smile and sparkling eyes. But... What if Cameron died?

It would be in vain. Both of them would be doomed. One to eternal torture and the other gone for good.

I... I couldn't explain how the last thought affected me. Deep in my soul, there was a stir. Something that begged me to stop him.

The thing was, I was out of arguments, even if a selfish part of me whispered: Do it for me. Wait a month for me, I can't lose you.

I'd never be so unfair, making him choose between his twin and me. Besides, I felt his inner turmoil. He didn't like the idea, he was just desperate.

"I understand," my voice was thick. Cam's lips parted and I shook my head. "I understand you love Phillip, that you're willing to do whatever it takes, I respect that. But," I sucked a deep breath through my teeth, ignoring how my heart wrenched and tears closed in. "I can't watch you die again. If that spell goes wrong... I can't. I won't stand in a corner watching as you die all over—this time for real. It—"

The tingles of his palms on my cheeks snapped my mouth shut.

"No," he chocked out. "No. I need you there, Nina, please—I need you. If you're there I won't—"

"No!" I cut off the velvet. The effect his voice had on me was sneaky, somehow I always ended up doing what he asked me. "You can't ask me that, Cameron. It's not right, you can't..." my chest heaved a sob. "You can't ask me to be present in something that might take your life. Not again. I can't do it...!" I pushed his hands away wiping at my cheeks. I threw hair to the front, covering most of my face. "I can't..."

It was the last thing I spoke before bolting, not looking back but knowing I'd left him planted there. Alone. That boy I cared about more than I should, more than I wanted to acknowledge half the time.

I slammed the door, barricading myself in the lonely, small bedroom, crying.

For both of us.