Live
four
Two weeks later
and I’m sat in the kitchen
reminiscing with Luke
of all the good times
we shared
with Jamie.
______________ It should have been me
______________ that night,
______________ I should have been the one
______________ to fuck up,
______________ not my little brother.
The pain seared
through his eyes
giving me an awful
ache in the pit of my stomach
as I tried to hold back
the tears.
______________ Don’t say that Luke,
______________ it was an accident,
______________ not something any of us foresaw
______________ and you deserve
______________ more than anyone,
______________ to live.
He didn’t seem to agree,
he pressed his hands
against his weary face
and let out a
loud and sudden sob.
_______________ Don’t pretend you think
_______________ that I deserve to live more
_______________ than Jamie after all the shit
_______________ I put everyone through
_______________ over the years.
His harsh words of truth hit me
hard,
making my head
spin.
I had nothing more to say
but:
_______________ I'm sorry.