Impavid

The urge to drop down on top of Enobaria’s dark head hit me like a rogue wave. Griping the branches for balance, I quietly leaned back into the small pocket of the tree, managing to sit while making no noise. Peering over the edge of the tree, I watched as the two tributes from two bent down the talk, their voices low.

Straining my ears did no good. Nothing they said could reach my hearing, though I caught one or two words such as ‘no’ ‘stay here’ and ‘edge.’ Every bone in my body began hoping that they would keep moving on, that they weren’t going to set up camp below me.

It didn’t matter how much I wanted to kill them. The two of them together was a death sentence. Enobaria I could take on easily, I was sure of it. There was no doubt in my mind that I stood zero chance against Brutus. Not only was he bigger than me, but his strength alone would hinder all of my efforts. Gloss and Cashmere were no where to be found, alluding to at least two of the cannon shots that I had heard before the approach of the two careers.

Outrunning them wasn’t an option. I could jump down from the tree and stab Enobaria before running in a different direction, but the terrain would slow me down too much. Running from the jabberjays and the fog proved that running at top speed couldn’t be done, not with the roots and the ground the way it was.

Looking around, there was nothing I could make a decent net out of. Even if there was, making one would result in noise, which meant I might as well have yelled down at them. Trapping them became crossed out on my rapidly depleting list.

Logically it seemed like the only option was to remain in the tree until they moved on. But there was always the chance of them not moving on, of them setting base camp right at the foot of the tree. That would mean I had to wait in the tree until the time came for the darkness and the creature again. By then I would be starving and dehydrated, neither good conditions to be in while in a tree.

Faced with few options, I knew I had to wait them out. Leaning over the edge again to look at them, my tension released. They were standing from their crouched positions again, moving on, walking quietly. Looking up at the canopy top, I closed my eyes, beaming and trying not to laugh at how lucky I was. I imagined the cameras zooming in on my face and the game makers wondering if they should do something to instigate a confrontation. But they didn’t. If I made it out alive, I wanted to thank Plutarch Heavensbee.

Two hours passed after the careers left my tree. I wanted to be safe, because taking chances was something I learned that you were never supposed to do. My first year I had taken a chance with alliances with district seven, but that had taken a nasty turn.

Back on the ground, I began moving towards the beach. The careers had gone the opposite way, towards the force field that ended the arena. It was the only opening I was going to get to show my face on the beach and hope that somewhere, Finnick and my group or Johanna was at least on the beach somewhere- if any of them are alive.

The fear of one of the cannon shots being Finnick began to work it’s way from my head to my body, making me move faster and making my movements jerky. With a trident on my back and one in my hand, I angled myself to walk down and towards the jabberjay part of the arena, knowing that I needed to move fast through it The sky told me I had been in that tree for a better part of the day and it was creeping lower and lower to signify late afternoon. It could be an hour away for them to go off or it could be five minutes away. Either way, I was sure I was safe from them for the time being.

That was, until I heard Katniss screaming. I paused, listening hard, sure that I had walked right back into the same trap. But when I heard her again, I could distinctly make out that she was screaming her sisters name. “She hears the jabberjays,” I whispered, realizing that I was more than lucky I hadn’t found the boarder for it.

“Lana!” Finnick’s scream pierced through my heart. I clutched my trident, unsure if I could hear the mutts or if it was actually Finnick screaming. My heart began to seize, anxiety welling up inside of me like a storm. “Lana! Where are you? Lana!”

Finnick’s voice was completely different from the voices I heard earlier, springing me into action as I followed the sound of it. Peeta’s muffled yelling guided me too, as I crashed through the forest, needing to get to Finnick. My entire body was shaking with rage and fear. I hardly tripped at all, my determination taking control of my steps and guiding me safely around the trees.

“Lana!”

“Finnick!” I screamed, trying to figure out which way to run. The voices were being thrown around the jungle, echoing back and forth. It was dangerous to scream when I was so closed to Enobaria and Brutus, but I didn’t care. The horror in Finnick’s voice was enough to make me open up the wound in my mouth and throat to keep calling to him. “Finnick don’t listen to it! It isn’t me!”

When his screaming stopped, I let the panic make me clumsy. Running into trees and sliding down slopes, I kept running, not having a source of his voice to follow. “Lana!” Peeta’s voice shouted loudly, closer than I had thought. I altered my course down hill, trying not to lose my balance and fall. “Lana we’re here! Follow my voice!”

Hopefully I was the only one following his voice. Either way it didn’t matter, because I came crashing through the bushes, losing my balance and falling past Johanna right into the barrier blocking a flock of jabberjays from my face. The run in knocked me off of my feet but I crawled back to it, seeing Finnick on the ground with his face down, hands over his ears.

Peeta was screaming for Katniss’ attention, but she too was on the ground, screaming bloody murder. No sound was coming through the barrier save for Katniss’ mute screaming. Regardless of not knowing if he could hear me, I beat my hands on the barrier, screaming Finnick’s name. Johanna hacked at it next to me, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Finnick, look at me!” he didn’t move, but his trembling stopped for a moment as if he thought he heard me. I pressed on, screaming as loudly as I could, “Finnick listen to me! Finnick, I love you.”

Somehow the words got through the barrier. He lifted his head in confusion and shock, a look of pure terror and panic on his face. I spread my palms on the barrier, pressing myself as close as I could, nodding at him. Slowly he crawled to me, pressing his hand against the flat barrier. It seemed like there was nothing between our palms, like we were touching, but I couldn’t feel his hand as he flinched, closing his eyes and hearing whatever voices it was that were on the other side.

I knocked on the barrier, getting his attention after the first few tries. His eyes were swimming with tears. Whether it was because he was relieved to see me or because of what he was hearing, I wasn’t sure. My own eyes pooled over with tears, a mixture of happiness and grief. I was happy to see that he was alive- I was euphoric, even. But grief was tearing at me to see him in such an alarmed state. He looked like he could snap at any second, his eyes wild.

“I love you,” I said again, saying it slowly so that he can read the words. He nodded then, pressing his forehead against the glass. I imitated him, looking into his eyes. They were dark, darker than I ever remember them being. “You’re alright. I’m here, okay? I’m here.”

“He can’t hear you.”

“Yeah, thank you, Johanna,” I growled back, not turning to look at her. “Lucky for him he can’t hear you either.”

Glancing to the side, Peeta was doing the same thing I was. He was pressing himself against the glass, looking at Katniss like a wounded animal. Katniss was still crying on the ground, though she had moved to a spot right against the barrier. Peeta tried helplessly to get her to look at him but he failed.

In hindsight, it was a bad decision on my part to blurt out that I loved Finnick. Peeta and Katniss were supposed to be the star-crossed lovers from district twelve, married in secret with a child on the way. And yet in a matter of seconds I had Finnick’s attention, I had him calm and in a state of sedation with my words while Peeta failed attempt after attempt to console Katniss.

Part of me wished I had said it to Finnick alone. But the other part of me was glad I finally said, that I finally screamed it at him. I wasn’t sure when it was that I had figured out that I loved him. I was almost sure that somewhere along him mentoring me, I had fallen in love. I didn’t know if it was supposed to happen that fast, or how it worked. But what I did know was that when I came out of that arena, he was the only person besides Cain that I wanted to see.

For the entire hour, I remained pressed against the barrier. I was deftly aware that Johanna and Beetee both were sitting behind me, keeping watching. I didn’t question where Wiress was; I didn’t need to. Three canon shots, two careers missing as well as Wiress from three. It didn’t take a genius like Beetee to figure out who had been lost in a battle in the arena.

When the hour was up, Finnick and I fell forward into one another. He landed on me, knocking me backwards. My trident cut into my shoulder blade, but it didn’t matter when he was hugging me so hard, clinging to me. I pulled him into my chest as he made a sound into my neck that I thought was a sob, but no other sound came as he held me there.

Faintly, Katniss was crying. Peeta was murmuring things to her, rubbing her back and assuring her that no one would touch Prim. “Your fiancés right,” Johanna muttered, looking down at Katniss. “The entire country loves your sister. If they tortured her or did anything to her? Forget the districts, there would be riots in the capitol. Hey how does that sound, Snow? What if we set your backyard on fire? You know, you can’t put everyone in here!”

Our entire group looked at Johanna. She waved her axe with vehemence as she spat the words, looking up to where there are surely cameras panning away from her. If they hadn’t caught the beginning of her screaming, they were surely already editing it out, trying to do damage control.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” I said quietly, even though I was glad that she did. “They’ll-"

“They’ll do what? There isn’t anybody that I love anymore. They can’t hurt me.”

No one said anything to her, but everyone sat up, remaining seated on the ground. Katniss looked like she took the brunt of the torture, her eyes rimmed red and puffy, her lips still trembling. She looked exactly how I felt when I first heard my brothers screams.

“I love you,” Finnick whispered, pulling away from me. He sat up, a look of horror still haunting his face. Somehow I knew that he would never be the same, that he was going to have nightmares about what it was that he had endured. I knew that I would hear Cain’s voice screaming for me until the end of my days. “When the fog came- then when we couldn’t find you. And then the cannon- I thought I may have lost you.”

“Do you remember what you said? The last night before my games, when I asked you why Khai hated me?” Finnick nodded mutely. He still was having a difficult time communicating. “You told me it was because I was a survivor. I will always survive, alright?”

He nodded. It seemed like his attempts at talking were done. Standing up, I pulled him by the hand. Johanna occupied herself by going to get water as we made our way down to the beach that was only a few yards away. Without stopping to sit, I continued to pull Finnick to the water, the ocean lapping against the sand.

We crashed into it, walking heavily until we were knee deep. I sat down then the water sloshing to my chest as I did. The waves were gentle enough that they wouldn’t knock us over by crashing into us and they wouldn’t go over our heads. Finnick sat down next to me, numb.

I pressed our sides together, lopping one arm around his back and hugging him to me. He didn’t respond at first, but a few minutes of sitting in the water brought color back to his face. He leaned into me, putting his head on my own and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. Never in my life had I been the one comforting Finnick like this; it made me nervous.

“Can we go under?”

I raised my brows. Finnick was looking at the deeper parts of the water. I nodded, standing quickly. He followed me as we moved deeper and deeper until we both took deep breaths and dove under.

My feet touched the soft sand, my body erect as I stood there, letting out some of my breath to fight buoyancy. We both raised our hands then, a therapeutic habit as we stuck them out of the water, the waves stopping at our wrists. And we stayed like that, open-eyed, the salt water clear and bright. It was the best I had felt since leaving district four. In the back of my mind, I made a mental note to thank Plutarch for the ocean setting. It seemed I was making a list of things to thank him for.

We stayed under for five minutes before we both kicked up, breaking the surface. I took in a full breath of air, blinking my eyes free of the saltwater. Finnick looked a lot better, the color back in his face and the lighter blue coming back to his eyes. Silent relief swelled in my chest as he swam to me, hugging me in the water again. I let him cradle me into his chest, closing my eyes.

“Is it okay if we’re doing this on camera?” he whispered quietly. It didn’t matter how quiet he was- they could pick up on every noise in the entire arena. Not wanting them to suspect his intentions he added, “I just know you were concerned about your parents knowing.”

“They’ll be okay with it. I’m okay with it.”

Because there was nothing else to say, he kissed me.