Collide, Ignite

"Reilly."

Reilly nearly jumped out of her skin at the firmness with which her name was spoken. She had been so focused on the task at hand that likely anything would have startled her once she finally heard it. Drawing in a breath in an attempt to slow her heart, she turned and met her supervisor's gaze.

"May I have a moment?" Dayton inquired. Reilly gave a nod as she stood and followed her to her office.

Reilly had been an intern in this very department for the last year she was in school, before being offered a full time research position upon her graduation. As an intern she had mostly been an assistant to Dayton, and therefore Reilly felt she knew her well enough. She was comfortable around her, but given the tone with which she had gotten her attention, Reilly was slightly nervous about what she might say.

"I have news to share with you," Dayton said, as she moved around her desk to sit. She shifted in the chair and took hold of the mouse, clicking at something on the computer screen, then shifted her gaze to Reilly. "Two pieces of news, as a matter of fact. The first," she went on, "is really incredible. Do you remember when you assisted me with that massive project during second term last year?" Reilly quickly confirmed she did. "Your work is being recognized and you are to receive an award at a ceremony in three weeks time."

Reilly could hardly believe what she was hearing. Her mind raced and excitement bubbled inside of her. She had worked incredibly hard on that project and put in a lot of hours on top of her regular school hours but she never imagined she would be recognized for it.

"That's," she started, unsure of what she should say. "Thank you. I can't believe this," she said. Her fingers itched to reach for her phone to tell everyone about it. It was huge news. It was inappropriate, however, to do so in front of her boss. She knew she had to wait until she could excuse herself for a break.

Dayton only shook her head. "No, thank you," she said, sliding a piece of paper across the desk. Reilly looked at it quickly and found it was the details relating to the award and the ceremony. "I know how much work you put into that, and it's only right that you receive all the praise it's getting. I never would have gotten that done on my own," she admitted. Reilly couldn't help the smile that had stretched across her face. "Now, for the other piece of news," she continued. "The Clinical, Educational, and Health Psychology research department," Reilly's stomach dropped as Dayton spoke, "finds themselves with a temporary opening due to one of their staff members requiring a leave of absence. You have been specifically requested by the team lead to fill that position. It will be a temporary promotion as well, since it is a senior research position," she said.

All the excitement Reilly felt only moments before had drained quickly from her. "I'm sorry?" she said, though she had heard and understood every word that had been spoken.

Dayton laughed, mistaking the rising dread Reilly felt for surprise. "I'm certain you're familiar with Owen Monaghan. He guest lectures for several different courses. You must have sat in at least one of them," she said. Reilly nodded, and she could feel all the color draining from her face. Her chest began to feel tight and she drew in a long breath and then let it out slowly. "I thought so. He asked for you by name. Said he felt you were the most qualified, even given your short tenure. With the work you've done I wasn't inclined to argue," she said.

Reilly couldn't think of a way to answer. Her mind was suddenly and empty and full at the same time. Completely stopped but racing all the same. She let Dayton continue. "Naturally we would find someone to pick up your work around here, since you can't be expected to be working both projects at once. It's going to be difficult to replace you, but I'm sure we'll manage," she said.

"I'm sorry," Reilly interrupted. "Is there any way I can speak with Owen about this before I accept?" she asked.

Dayton raised her eyebrows. "I'm afraid he's left this morning for a week. I've already accepted for you." Reilly's heart pounded hard against her ribcage, her chest tightening with each beat. Dayton's eyebrows dropped and drew together. "I didn't think you would have a problem," she said.

Reilly drew in another breath and cleared her throat. "I do, as a matter of fact, have a problem," she said. "Owen and I were engaged up until about eight weeks ago," she explained. "I think it's highly inappropriate that he asked for me to work under him."

Dayton was silent for a long moment but then shook her head slowly back and forth. "Reilly, I understand your concerns, but this is only for six to twelve weeks. It's temporary," she said.

"Is it also non-negotiable?" Reilly inquired.

"I'm afraid it is," Dayton replied. "I've already guaranteed that you would be available to start when you were needed. Owen said immediately would be preferable, but they could wait until Monday if absolutely necessary. We each understand the demands of the other's situation and agreed on a halfway point, Thursday," she said.

Reilly's mind swam with anxious thoughts. Her chest was still tight and pounding. Her hand had begun to shake. There were a lot of things she could probably talk herself into doing, but somehow working that closely with Owen after the way he'd completely dismissed her feelings was not one of them.

"I'm sorry," she said for the third time. "I don't," she paused and swallowed hard. "I can't do that." She sat up a little straighter in her chair, feeling the confidence in what she was about to say growing as she did so. "I feel that I have no choice but to resign, effective immediately," she said. A look of shock covered Dayton's face and she opened her mouth and then closed it again. "I am very grateful for the opportunity you gave me to work with you, and I appreciate the confidence you had in me to take on a higher position, but I have to protect my best interests. You will have my resignation in writing within the hour," she said. "Thank you so much for everything, and I really am sorry."

***

"Reilly?"

It was just barely an hour after Reilly had sat in Dayton's office and told her she was resigning that she let herself into Liam's house. He had come to see who was there and, by the look on his face, was shocked to see her there in the middle of day on a Tuesday.

"What's going on? Are you alright? Has something happened?" He fired off the questions rapidly, not giving her a chance to answer one before going on to the next. His tone was worried, and his face, once he was over the initial shock, mirrored his tone.

Reilly quickly shook her head. "I'm fine. I just, I, just, quit my job," she paused, drawing in a deep breath. "Oh god, Liam. I quit my job," she said. Her tone was suddenly panicked. "I quit my job," she repeated for a third time.

Liam's eyebrows had shot high up his forehead. "You quit? Why in the world would you do that?" he asked, reaching for her and then gently pulling her toward him so he could snake an arm around her shoulders and guide her to the living room. She was shaking as they reached the couch and slowly sunk down onto it. "What happened?" he inquired softly.

"Dayton. And Owen. And me. I just. Liam. I couldn't," she rambled nonsensically.

Liam angled his body toward her and rubbed her arm. "Calm down. Breathe in slowly," he said. His voice was gentle. Soothing. "Close your eyes. Listen to my voice. Don't think about anything else. Just focus on my words. On my voice," he went on. "Breathe out slowly. Now in again. Slowly. It's alright, everything is okay. I'm here." He slid his hand down Reilly's arm and slipped it into her hand. "I've got you, and you've got me," he soothed. "Breathe out slowly."

He continued to speak softly to her, continued to encourage her to listen to his voice, to block out all other things. He repeated that she was okay, that he was right there. He reminded her to breathe, slowly, in and then out. He held her hand and she squeezed his tightly, trying to get her brain to quiet, her heart to slow, her breathing to return to normal. He stayed with her until finally her grip loosened and her eyelids separated and she looked at his with watery eyes.

"Thank you," she barely whispered. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She closed her eyes again and drew in a deep breath and released it as she opened her eyes once more. "One of Owen's team members is on a leave of absence and he requested that I temporarily fill the position. Dayton accepted without consulting me, and, when I objected, informed me it wasn't an option. So," she paused and drew in a breath, expanding her lungs as much as she could in an attempt to release the tension that was growing again, "I quit."

Liam nodded and took Reilly's other hand in his free one. "For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. I know it's probably really scary right now but I'm proud of you standing up for yourself like that," he told her.

***

Even after she had calmed down, Reilly stayed with Liam for most of the day. It hadn't occurred to Reilly just how little time they had spent together recently until she was with him. She hadn't realized how much she missed him. Of course they talked fairly regularly so they had a pretty good idea of what was going on with each other, but there was something to be said for being in someone's presence. Something good for her soul.

It was dark when Reilly was leaving. She had offered to make dinner but Liam politely declined, telling her that he and Aimee had made dinner plans already and that she was welcome to join them. The thought of going out was exhausting in an of itself, and she asked for a raincheck, which Liam agreed to easily. He stood at the door as she walked to her car, and waved as she pulled away from his house.

She didn't know where she was going. Everyone would be eating or getting ready to eat and even though she had not yet eaten, she didn't feel like crashing her friends' homes and intruding on their meals, but going home wasn't a very appealing idea either. For awhile she drove aimlessly, thinking maybe she could find a bookstore somewhere, but even that seemed like it would involve too much energy.

It was while she was driving that she saw the paper sticking out of her purse from the corner of her eye, that it hit her. In her panicked state she had forgotten completely the good news she'd received and had not yet shared it with anyone. The excitement she felt earlier rose inside of her again. She pulled her car into a lot nearby and rummaged through her purse for her phone, scrolling through her contacts when she found it.

It rang many times before going to voice mail. Sighing, she hung up before the greeting ended. It wasn't something she wanted to leave in a message. And anyway, it might not be as exciting to anyone else as it was to her.

She had just put her car into gear when her text message tone rang out. Sorry hard to answer at the studio whats up? the message read. Not bothering to respond, she dropped her phone onto the passenger seat. She didn't want to bother him if he was busy, and he obviously was busy.

She started driving again with no specific destination in mind. It was only a few minutes before her stomach was growling. And for whatever reason it made her think back to Sunday, when she and Niall had talked and then had gone to eat and did mundane errands together. She thought about what he'd said in her room after she'd fallen asleep on him. Her shoulders relaxed as she let out a sigh. Maybe he was busy, but that didn't mean he didn't have time for her.

At the corner she made a left and drove on. Nearly a half hour later she was walking into the studio where the boys had been recording for several weeks, bags of food clutched in her hands. She walked through the building until she saw Niall through the window of one of the rooms. He was sitting, barefoot, on a stool, guitar on his lap, pick between his teeth, focused hard on tuning the strings. Reilly tapped gently on the window and he looked up. A grin pulled across his face when he saw her, and he leapt off the stool when she held up the bags of food.

"How'd ya know I was starvin'? he asked as he opened the door for her.

"I figure there's about an eighty five percent chance you're hungry at any given time," she said as she stepped past him.

A loud laugh from deep inside his stomach erupted, and he caught her arm before she got far. She turned back to him and he gently pulled her toward him, placing a soft kiss on her cheek when she was close enough. He was warm, like he always was, and he smelled wonderful, but mostly he felt comfortable, like he was exactly where she was supposed to be after a difficult day.

She looked up at his as he straightened to his full height. "Hang on," she said, looking around quickly. She set the bags on a nearby table and pushed her arms past Niall's, which were dangling at his sides, and hugged his waist tightly. It took a minute for his arms to encircle her, but only a second after they did for her to melt into him. A soft sigh slipped past her lips.

"Alright, Darlin'?" he asked, his hand stroking her long hair. She nodded and mumbled into his shoulder. "What was that?" She mumbled again and he couldn't help the tiny laugh that rumbled through his chest. "I'm sorry, but it sounded like you said you quit your job," he told her. She only nodded, choosing to remain silent instead of elaborating. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked.

This time when she shook her head she let her arms loosen around him and she looked up at him. "No," she said. "I want to talk about my good news," she told him. He met her gaze and gave a little nod, letting his hands fall down to rest at the small of her back as she began to tell him about the project she had worked so hard on as an intern and the recognition and award she was receiving as a result. The further she got in her story the more her excitement grew, bubbling inside of her and threatening to explode.

And it was contagious. The smile on Niall's face only grew as she spoke. His eyes lit up just as hers had. To both of them it felt like her good news was also his good news. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. Reilly's heart nearly exploded in her chest from how fast it was beating. Her skin tingled all over, even where it wasn't touching his. She wanted to pinch herself because everything was suddenly feeling so surreal. As she looked at him and continued to talk, she didn't know what words she was saying. The only thought in her head was I'm so in love with you.

And maybe that should have scared her, because she had told him that she didn't know. That she didn't know how she could know. Because she had never been in love before. And even now she didn't know how she knew. She just knew. She knew that she didn't want to let go of Niall. That she didn't want to stop talking to Niall. That every time she had good news she wanted to tell him first. That every time she had a rough day she wanted to curl into him. That every night she could go to sleep alone but would rather be next to him. That she didn't need him but she wanted him. She wanted him.

She wanted his smile. She wanted his laugh. She wanted his perpetually rumbling stomach and his groans in the morning. She wanted his messy hair and bright eyes. She wanted his cold room, his warm chest, his skin touching hers. She wanted his loud voice and his quiet voice. She wanted his thick Irish accent when he was tired. She wanted his grumpy days and his good days. She wanted his heart beats and quiet sighs. She wanted his complaints. She wanted his optimism, his unwavering support. She wanted his fingers entwined with hers or playing with her hair, his hands at the small of her back or on her hips or cupping her cheeks. She wanted his past, his present, and his future, every inch of his mind and body.

She wanted to tell him, but she didn't know how. She had finally stopped talking and didn't even realize it until Niall was beaming down at her, telling her how exciting it was, that he was happy for her. Her heart was still racing and she was warm from being so close to him and it still just didn't feel real. She had to wonder, shouldn't this feel real?

And then it was like something shattered around her. Niall's hands left her back and he was reaching for the food and motioning for her to follow him to another room in the studio with guitars lined up against the wall, but also a round table with chairs. He set the food down and pulled out a chair for Reilly before sitting in the one next to it.

"You're going, right?" he asked. She looked at him quizzically but he didn't see it because he was looking in the bags to see what she'd brought. "To the awards ceremony. To accept your award," he clarified when she didn't answer.

"Oh," she said quietly, giving a shrug as she opened the other bag. "I don't know," she said honestly. "It might be weird since I'm not working at UCL anymore," she suggested.

Niall shrugged also. "Might be, but it would be cool for us to see you accept an award, seeing's how you've see us accept one or two." Reilly raised her eyebrows high, and he chuckled. "Was the AMA's a few years back, wasn't it? Yeah, I knew you were there even if we didn't speak. Caught a glimpse of you at one point. Looked really beautiful, if I recall," he said.

Reilly's cheeks turned a deep red and she opened her mouth to say something but no words came out so she shut it again. "Three," she choked out a moment later.

"Pardon?" he asked.

"It was three awards I saw you accept that night," she told him. "And you were underdressed for the occasion," she added.

A grin pulled across Niall's face. "I was comfortable. There's something to be said about comfort at one of them things. They can get real boring real fast. And being bored and uncomfortable is not a good mix," he told her. She laughed quietly and opened the container to show Niall the contents. He shrugged and shook his head, indicating he didn't want it. Reilly also shrugged and dug two forks out of the bag.

"I liked that shirt, though," she said.

***

Reilly didn't leave when they finished eating. She was enjoying the time with Niall too much and he didn't seem to mind that she was there. They remained in the room where they'd eaten, though Niall had gotten up to retrieve his guitar, tuning and then playing, all the while trying to hide his frustration with whatever he was working on.

Reilly had grabbed one of the guitars that was against the wall and sat several feet away from Niall, playing very quietly to herself. She didn't notice when Niall stopped playing, or see him close his eyes and put his head down, listening to what she was playing. She was clueless until he spoke, nearly scaring her out of her skin.

"Wait, play that again," he said, lifting his head in time to see her jump. "Oh, whoa. Sorry Darlin'."

She sucked in a breath. "It's alright," she said.

"Can you play that again for me?" he asked. Without a verbal response, Reilly played again what she'd just played. "Again?" he asked, closing his eyes and leaning toward her. She played it again. He opened his eyes and played. "I'm gonna play that again, and when I do, you play yours at the same time, okay?" he asked and she nodded. "On the count of three. One. Two. Three."

They played at the same time and a grin spread across Niall's face. "Yes!" he exclaimed, jumping up from his seat and rushing back into the main room of the studio. He motioned for Reilly to follow him and though she was confused by his sudden outburst of excitement, she obliged, trailing behind him to where he had a laptop sitting open. He picked up a cord and held it out to her. "Plug this in," he instructed, and then picked up another to plug into his own guitar.

"We're gonna play it again just like we did before," he said, hoisting himself up onto a stool. Reilly did the same and waited while he clicked around on the computer. "Alright, ready? And go," he said. Once again, they played together. Reilly was still slightly confused about what was happening but she went along with it because it seemed important to Niall.

She set down the guitar and watched as he concentrated on the computer. He was clicking and moving things around the screen and she wanted to ask what he was doing but she also did not want to break his focus. After a few minutes, he looked over at her with a smile. Without a word he turned up the volume on the computer so they could both hear what he'd been playing around with.

"That's it!" he said excitedly when the clip finished playing. "It's perfect; I could kiss you!" he exclaimed. Reilly's eyebrows shot up and she opened her mouth to respond, though she had no idea what she might say, but no sound came out. "I, uh," he cleared his throat. "I just mean, I've been trying to figure this out for a week and you come in and you just..." he trailed off, letting the thought hang.

"I don't think I would object," she replied after a long moment of silence. Immediately after the words came out she wished she could shove them back inside and swallow them. Niall's eyes snapped to hers, and Reilly's face turned a deep red. Her heart was pounding hard inside her chest. "I mean, when, if the time comes, I won't," she said, but her voice had gotten so quiet that maybe he couldn't hear her.

She broke eye contact with him and glanced at the clock on the wall. "I should probably go. It's getting kind of late," she said. It was almost ten, and while she no longer had to get up to go to work in the morning, it had been a long day. Going home and curling into a ball completely covered by her blankets seemed like a really good idea.

Niall merely nodded. "Let me grab my shoes and I'll walk you out," he said. Reilly watched as he moved across the studio and slipped his feet into a pair of Vans and then bent down and tied the laces. "Ready?" he asked as he stood straight.

She grabbed her purse and headed toward the door. He caught her hand as they were walking down the hallway, and he gave it a tiny squeeze. It could have meant a number of things. 'Don't worry.' 'I know.' 'Maybe not but it's fine.' 'It's alright.' 'Tomorrow will be better.' 'Some day.' 'No.' 'Maybe.' 'Yes.' 'Who knows.' 'Maybe we had our chance.' 'Friends.' It could have been any of those or so many other things.

He kept a hold on her hand as he pushed open the door and then held it as she followed him through. He kept a hold on her hand until they reached her car where he promptly dropped it and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. She closed her eyes and returned the embrace, wishing she could stay enveloped in his warmth forever.

He took a tiny step back, kissing her forehead as she did so. "Drive safe," he said. Reilly took a step toward him and tightened her arms around his middle, nodding against his shoulder. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her again. "Would stay like this forever if I could," he told her. She smiled and gave him a squeeze, then held on for a moment longer and stepped backward.

"Are you...?" she began and he shook his head.

"Nah, I'm going to finish up some stuff. Probably be another hour or so," he told her. She nodded and turned to open her car door. "Text me when you get home, alright?"

"I will," she agreed. "And you too," she said. "Doesn't matter what time." She started to get into her car and then it was like a lightbulb turned on and she stopped, pulling her leg back out of the car. "Hey, off the top of your head, what are you doing next weekend?" she asked him.

Niall's eyes flicked back and forth like he was going through a calendar in his head. Then after a moment he shook his head slightly. "Nothing I can think of at the moment," he said. "Why? You have something in mind?"

"Well, Liam, Aimee, and I are going up to Wolverhampton for Mum's birthday. The plan is to leave that Friday and come back on Monday. Spend the whole weekend," she explained. "I was thinking, maybe, if you're not busy, do you want to come along?" she asked. Then, quickly, she added. "You can say no. It's not a big deal. I won't be upset. I just thought I would ask."

Something flickered in Niall's eyes, and he looked vaguely like he was trying not to laugh. "I'll let you know," he said simply.

***

Knowing herself the way she did, Reilly expected to beat herself up over what she'd said and what Niall said and the way he seemed so quick to explain what he meant, but a weird thing happened. She didn't. At one point she even tried. She tried because it was what she always did. It was how her brain worked. But instead she kept thinking about her hand in his. His scent when she was cuddled into his chest. The excitement he radiated when he finally figured out the song he'd been working on.

When she got home she headed straight upstairs to her room. She had barely finished changing into her pajamas when she fell onto her bed with a content sigh. Her mind kept replaying the night. The rest of the events of the day were far from her mind. All she could think about was Niall. All she wanted to think about was Niall.

Then she remembered. He had asked her to text him when she was home. She blindly reached for her purse and fished around in it until she was able to extract her phone. There was a missed call from Lexie on the screen that she cleared and quickly sent Niall a simple Home safe. text. Then she opened the conversation with Lexie.

Sorry I missed your call. she typed and pressed send. Niall and I just had the best not date ever.

A moment later her phone buzzed. Its fine just seeing if you were home. Then it buzzed again. Really thats great! Should I come home? So we can talk about it?

Reilly smiled. Not necessary. She pressed send. I'll probably be asleep by the time you get here. She pressed send. I'll tell you everything tomorrow. She pressed send. Tell Harry I said hi.

Immediately after she sent the last message, her phone buzzed again. She was expecting Lexie but instead it was Niall. Her phone buzzed again. She opened the conversation. Should put your phone on silent in case I text you late dont want to wake you. And Sleep well darlin sweet dreams.