Collide, Ignite

The next two and a half weeks until Niall left for Ireland passed by quickly. The next week was filled with getting ready for her own trip to Boston and catching up with everyone she'd barely seen in that time she'd spent with Niall, and a hard time was given by all. ("So you disappear for two and a half weeks and you're only resurfacing because Niall's gone?") Jokingly, of course. Though every time it had Reilly apologizing profusely.

She hated the reality of having neglected her friends, choosing Niall over everyone else in her life. They all insisted that they understood. "It's a new relationship. You guys are supposed to be all over each other and act like you're the only two people in the world." and "Remember when Liam met Aimee and none of us knew and we hadn't heard from him in weeks until finally you guilt tripped him via text message?" and "Lexie moved here months ago and you hardly see her even now because she's always with Harry." and "We're so happy for you. Really!" Still, she felt guilty. It had never been her intention to make any one person more important than any other. They were all important to her, each in their own unique way.

And she felt guilty for reasons other than neglecting her friends. She had spoken to Maisie every single day and still she and Niall hadn't told the little girl about their relationship. Reilly had assured and reassured Niall she wanted to tell her sister, and she wanted them to do it together. And she did. But there was this nagging in the back of Reilly's head that she hadn't thought this whole thing through carefully enough. Maisie adored Niall, and if Reilly somehow managed to screw things up with him, Maisie would be crushed.

After voicing that concern to Lexie, ("What if I mess this up? What if I'm not ready for this? I thought I was or I think I am and I want to be. I want things with Niall to work out so badly. But what if I'm not ready, Lex? What happens if we tell Maisie and I go and do something really dumb or just can't handle it or... Or... Or...") and being cut off by tears, Lexie had made her call Niall to discuss her feelings.

"He's going to want to know if you're having doubts," she'd insisted. Reilly tried to argue that she wasn't having doubts about her and Niall, only doubts about herself. "You have to talk to him, Rei. He's not going to brush off your feelings. Now go." Lexie left no room for argument, so Reilly easily relented and made the call.

He had been patient and understanding as ever, which only made her feel more guilty for the way she was feeling. "Have you told me everything?" he'd asked her, referring to the past. She had. He was still the only one who knew every gory detail. "Then what could you do to mess things up? Cheatin' on someone is hard if you really love the person you're with," he'd said. "And anyway, with your fierce loyalty to people you care about I don't think you have it in you do it. I already said I knew it wouldn't be easy. I'm not going to just give up on you if that's what you're worried about," he'd assured her. "If you need to take a step back from this for now I understand and I'll give you that space you need. But you gotta tell me now, Darlin'. You gotta tell me if you need to be just you instead of being part of us."

By the end of the phone conversation she was in tears. She did want to be part of "us". There was just that voice in the back of her head she couldn't turn off. And she told him so. He'd suggested she come to Ireland. He wanted to say it all again to her in person. He wanted to hold her hand. He wanted to hug her. But she told him she didn't want to intrude on his time with his family. She felt bad enough just calling to bother him with her stupid problems in the first place. And he'd insisted it wasn't stupid and that she wasn't bothering him, nor would she be an intrusion if she were to join him. "The family would love to see you!" he'd exclaimed, and then told her he could book a flight for her and have a car at her house in thirty minutes.

His enthusiasm had only made her feel worse still, and she declined, saying that she felt it would be better if she stayed. Kept her appointment with her psychologist that week since she would be missing a couple when she was in Boston. And she wanted him to enjoy is time at home with his friends and family. He'd accepted her answer, but not without telling her how much he missed her, and insisting that she join him next time he went home. To that, she agreed. She very much wanted to go to Ireland again, and she wanted it to be with Niall.

When she finally hung up, she went back to Lexie, nerves still a bit on edge. "If I can't do this, that affects Maisie too. She loves Niall so much," she's told her friend.

"And so do you," Lexie had reminded her. "You love him so much. You love him so much you pushed him away from you because you knew you would be toxic to him. Remember that? You tried so hard to stop feeling things for him because you didn't want to hurt him. Remember that? And then you decided that you wanted to fight your demons instead of try to bury them because you knew you couldn't be with him until you did. And you wanted to be with him. Don't forget that, Rei. You want him."

It was then that Reilly finally showed Lexie the gift Niall had given her for Christmas. "Slay my dragons, not fight my demons," she'd said, a whisp of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Lexie looked confused until Reilly pulled necklace out from underneath her shirt. Her fingers were trembling as she opened the fairy door and pulled out the scrap of paper inside. Lexie took it from her and carefully unfolded it. The creases were deep and threatened to tear, like they'd been folded and unfolded many times. Her eyes scanned over the single line of handwritten words: You can't have a fairy tale ending without first slaying your dragons. "It's what Niall gave me for Christmas," she'd explained, opening up the floor for an entirely new conversation.

Since that conversation, Niall had made sure to call daily. It was usually at night when he knew she was winding down from her day. She'd mentioned to him once that she was surprised he was home every night instead of out with friends, and he'd admitted that some nights he was out when they spoke, but he'd snuck away for a few minutes because he wanted to say goodnight to her.

Now she'd been in Boston for almost a week. Harry was with her, of course. The others would be arriving within the next few days. Seeing Maisie again brought her a certain kind of joy she'd forgotten she could feel since the beginning of the year, along with a sense of peace. And Maisie seemed just as happy to see her big sister.

This particular day they were at the zoo. Maisie, Reilly, and Harry. Maisie was absolutely loving the time she was getting to spend with Harry's attention focused on her. She had pulled him around, her tiny hand clasped around his giant fingers, from exhibit to exhibit, telling him everything she knew about each of the animals, which was actually quite a bit. It was becoming clear that she'd been there several times recently and had retained a lot of information.

She finally gave him a break, leaving him and Reilly standing by a tree while she made friends with other children on the huge playground. Reilly was keeping a close eye on her, and as Harry watched Reilly watching Maisie, he could tell her mind was all over the place.

"What's going on in there?" he asked after several minutes.

His voice startled Reilly and she jumped before turning slowly to look at him. Her eyes were covered by sunglasses, making it hard for him to know if she was looking at him or just past him. "Just," she paused briefly. Very briefly. "Thinking," she finished.

Harry chuckled and nudged her gently. "Tell me something I don't already know. That brain of yours, amazing as it is, is always working. Too hard, I think, sometimes," he teased. A small smile broke across her face and she breathed out a laugh. "But seriously," he went on, "you've been awfully quiet today."

"Can't get a word in edgewise with the way her mouth's been going," Reilly commented, nodding toward Maisie as she spoke about the little girl. "She loves that she has your attention."

"You have my attention as well," he told her. "It's incredible the way you'll dance around a question, though."

Reilly faked an over enthusiastic smile at him and then let her face drop back to it's normal resting expression. "It's one of my few real talents." Harry's eyes narrowed but she didn't allow him the opportunity to argue. "It's all over the place," she said and then clarified, "My brain." She turned back to watch Maisie, folding her arms across her chest. "Can I ask you something?" she asked. From the corner of her eye she saw Harry nod. "What do you think of me and Niall, honestly?"

Harry blew air out his nose. "That's a strange thing to ask," he commented. "But honestly, Reilly, I want you to be happy. I know that probably sounds like a bit of a cop-out response, and it doesn't really answer the question you asked, but I mean it. I like the idea of you with Niall. I think he's great for you. And I think you're equally great for him. You both smile more when you're around each other. But if I'm wrong about that, if you are not happy, then I don't want you with him," he said. "Simple as that."

"Simple as that?" Reilly repeated, but it came out as a question. Harry nodded and also repeated the sentiment once more. "It's getting to me," she said. Harry turned a questioning look on her. "Being away from him. I know it's dumb. It's only been a couple weeks. And eventually you guys are going to go back on tour and he's going to be gone for more than a couple weeks. You all will. And what am I going to do then?"

Harry's arm slid around her shoulder and he pulled her to his side. "You will figure it out when the time comes," he said. "And it's not dumb, Reilly, that you miss him." His forehead scrunched in concern that she felt that way. "I've been away from Lexie less than a week and I can't stop counting down the hours until she gets here. She means a lot to me, just as Niall means a lot to you. And it's okay to talk about it. You can come to me and say, 'Harry, I miss him,' and I'll give you a cuddle and tell you it's okay. Alright?" Reilly nodded, but barely. "Why don't you phone him?" he asked.

Reilly shook her head at the suggestion. One of her arms wound around his waist. "He texted me this morning and said he wants to Skype tonight. I told him we were busy all day and he said he doesn't care what time it is. He'll stay up until morning if he has to," she told him. She felt his chuckle vibrate through his body. "He's ridiculous."

"No, he's in love with you and wants to see your face," Harry argued.

"He's ridiculous," she repeated, but was smiling despite the words she articulated.

Another chuckle, and Harry kissed the top of her head. "And so are you. Perfect match, the two of you," he said. Reilly said nothing in response, only circled her other arm around his body and gave him a squeeze. Then she dropped both her arms from around him and took a tiny step to the side. His arm fell from her shoulders as she scanned the playground for Maisie once again. "You alright, then?" he asked.

Reilly nodded and her eyes finally fell on Maisie. The little girl was running full speed at them. "Uncle Harry!" she squealed, dragging out the end of his name as she crashed into him. Her arms wrapped around his legs and she hugged him tightly as he stumbled backward. Thankfully, he managed to catch himself and remained upright. "Uncle Harry," she said again, looking up at him with a bright smile. "Come on. You have to come climb on the jungle gym with me!" she said excitedly.

Before he could say a word she had released his legs and was reaching for his hand. She pulled on his arm as hard as she could to get him to follow her. Reilly laughed as she watched Harry pretend to pull in the opposite direction, making Maisie giggle and pull on him harder, giving the illusion that she was dragging a grown man across the playground.

It wasn't long at all before Harry had a near accident and Reilly used to her best judgement to get him off the playground before his battle against gravity cause him to seriously injure himself or a small child. Maisie showed them more animals and continued to impress them both with her knowledge of them. And then, finally, she declared she was tired and hungry.

The trio left the zoo, Maisie's tiny hands holding one of Harry's and one of Reilly's, chattering the entire way to the car. Though she didn't want to even have to consider it, Reilly couldn't help but think about all the insane headlines the magazines would come up with if there was anyone around snapping shots of the three of them. Niall Horan's Former Flame Cozying Up With Mutual Friend Harry Styles! or Harry Styles Coming Between Friends' Rekindled Relationship? or Niall Who? and inevitably the articles would call Maisie her daughter--her's and Niall's--though that couldn't be further from the truth.

Those thoughts nagged in the back of her mind through dinner. Maisie and Harry both noticed her preoccupation and continuously tried to keep her involved. It helped some, but not enough, because she still felt the nagging when they got back to Zachary's, where Maisie had requested to go for the night. Where Maisie had been every night since Reilly and Harry had arrived. There was some comfort in knowing that she was with someone who was giving her the proper attention, but it made Reilly angry that Maisie's father and mother had chosen not to step up and raise the child they'd brought into the world.

Soon all the hundreds of thoughts swimming through Reilly's head got to be too much with everything else going on around her. Maisie, who had claimed to be tired at the zoo seemed to have a renewed source of energy after eating and was bouncing off the walls. The boys were only helping to rile her up even more, and Reilly retreated to Maisie's room for a few minutes to herself. And then after a few minutes when she still felt overwhelmed, she pulled out her phone and sent a text. Skype? was all it said. It took a couple minutes to get a response but her phone finally buzzed and she read the message: Call you in five.

She grabbed the computer that sat on top of Maisie's dresser and opened it, put in the password, and logged into Skype. The next five minutes felt like the longest of her life. But finally the call came through and she answered it as quickly as her reflexes allowed.

"'Lo Darlin'!" Niall exclaimed as soon as they were connected. His face was bright with a smile but if Reilly had been fully aware she would have noticed he seemed faintly tired, which was uncharacteristic of him at home in Ireland. Instead, she forced her own smile and greeted him with much less enthusiasm. His face fell. "What's wrong?" he inquired.

Reilly quickly shook her head. "Nothing," she fibbed. "I'm just tired and I miss you so much," she told him, and then mentally kicked herself for allowing the last part to slip out. She continued quickly. "And I'm sorry for saying that because I know it's going to make you feel bad and you shouldn't be responsible for how I'm feeling. And I told myself I wasn-"

"Reilly, stop," he cut her off, his eyes hinting at a smile. "You can tell me you miss me. Any time. Even if you've just seen me. I don't want you to ever hide the way you feel from me," he said. "And I miss you as well. So much. We'll plan our trips better next time." Reilly nodded. "Where are ya?" he asked.

"Oh, Maisie's room," she told him.

"At your dad's house?"

She shook her head. "No, Zachary's. This is where Maisie's been staying, I guess. I mean, this is where she's been since we got here, so I can only assume," she said with a shrug, a frown creasing her face. "This isn't how it should be. I hate that her parents won't love her and take care of her."

Niall breathed out hard through his nose. "You can't change them, Darlin'. All you can do is offer that little girl every ounce of love you have, and be thankful that your brother can and is doing the same," he said.

"I know, and I am. Both things. It just sucks. I told you before she was even born that I was afraid of this, remember?" she asked. Niall nodded. He remembered that night well. She sucked in her lip and chewed it for a second and then sighed softly. "Where are you?" she asked. "I just noticed that doesn't look like your room."

He chuckled. "I'm not at my house," he told her. She hummed in response but didn't question him further. "Where's Maisie?" he asked her. "Can you get her? Want to say hi, if that's alright."

Without a word Reilly got up and opened the door to call for Maisie. Within seconds Maisie was in front of her and Reilly ushered her into the room. They went to the bed and she pulled the little girl onto her lap and pointed at the computer screen. Maisie's eyes lit up when she saw Niall.

"Niall!" she said happily. "I haven't seen you for so long! I wish you could be here!" she told him. "Uncle Louis and Uncle Zayn are coming soon. And Uncle Harry is here too!"

Niall's own eyes were twinkling. "I know, Little One, and I wish I was there too" he said. "Tell you what, though. There should be a surprise gettin' there for you in time for your party, alright?" Maisie nodded. "Alright, now, wanted to ask you if you remember something you said to me. It's something you said you really wanted. You told me when you were visiting your sister, and you stayed over at my house for the night," he said. "You really wished..." He let the prompt hang.

Maisie's eyes moved back and forth like she was searching her little mind for the memory. Then, suddenly, she twisted around in Reilly's lap, her entire face bright, and clapped her hands on either side of Reilly's face. "Is Niall your boyfriend?" she practically shouted at her sister.

An involuntary smile pulled at Reilly's mouth and a breath pushed out her nose. "Yes, Niall's my boyfriend," she said. As she spoke, her smile only got bigger. She leaned forward and kissed the tip of Maisie's nose and the little girl's face grew brighter. "Is that okay?"

"Is it okay?" Maisie asked, still shouting. "Yes it's okay! It's better than okay." She dropped her hands from her sister's face and threw her little arms around her neck. "This is perfect," she said quietly into Reilly's ear as she squeezed her tightly. "It's all I wanted."

Reilly held onto the little girl and looked over her shoulder at Niall. He grinned at her and mouthed 'I love you' at her. She smiled and mouthed it back just as Maisie was letting go and turning around again. "I wish I could hug you too!" she shouted at Niall, causing him to laugh heartily.

"I know, Little One. I miss you loads. But Reilly told me you're going to be in London again in the summer, and I'm already making a list of all the things me and you can do. How's that sound?" he said.

"Good, but I have to see Uncle Zayn when I'm there too. And Uncle Louis, and Uncle Liam, and Uncle Harry. Oh! And Nan and Poppy too," she told him. Niall nodded and assured her there would be plenty of time for her to see everyone and still do the things he was planning. "And can Reilly come with me and you sometimes?" she asked.

Niall chuckled heartily and ran his hands over his face, indicating he was getting tired. "Of course, Little One. She can come with us any time you want her to. I'll be the luckiest guy, hangin' out with the two best girls in the world," he said.

Maisie was just about to say something but Reilly interjected before she could. "Hey, Little One, I think Niall is getting tired. Why don't you say goodnight to him and then go tackle Uncle Harry?" she suggested. Maisie started to protest but all it took was a promise that they would call Niall again soon, when they could talk longer, to get the little girl to agree. She bid Niall goodnight and then slid down from Reilly's lap and bounded out of the room.

"That wasn't necessary," he commented.

Reilly shrugged. "You rubbed your face like you do when you're tired and trying to keep yourself awake, and your eyes are starting to do that thing where they glaze over a little. Plus you still have to get home from wherever you are," she replied.

He shook his head. "Stayin' here tonight," he told her. "Wish you were with me, though. Miss puttin' my arms round you," he told her. "Miss kissing you goodnight. Just miss you."

"I know. I miss you too," she said.

"Can't wait to see you again." His eyelids were drooping more and more as he continued to talk to her. But he didn't want to stop.

Reilly bit the inside of her lip. "Just one more week," she said. She's meant it in a positive light but as the words came out of her mouth all she could think was how long that seemed. She sighed softly. "You should get some sleep," she suggested. She herself was starting to feel tired, but it was still early in Boston.

"Don't want sleep," he argued. "Want to stay up and talk with you."

A tiny smile pulled the corners of Reilly's mouth. In spite of all the miles between them, Niall still managed to make her feel special. "I love you," she told him. "Sleep," she insisted. "We'll talk more tomorrow."