Collide, Ignite

And so Reilly made good memories. She spent extensive amounts of time with Maisie, Niall and Louis by their sides unfailingly. The days were filled with adventures around Boston, and when she wasn't with Maisie, she and Lexie were showing the boys places they spent their teenage years.

Even with her new outlook the nights were still rough. Nightmares plagued her sleep and she remained restless. Niall held her each night, soaked in tears she often didn't know she was crying, and still assured her of his unwavering devotion each morning. He looked tired, but then she herself looked like she was going through Hell.

Louis tried, on more than one occasion, to address the differences he only saw in her when she was in Boston, but as with other times he'd inquired she skillfully maneuvered her way around his questions. He wasn't letting it go as he'd previously done when she'd been able to brush it off as a bad night's sleep so she had to get more creative with her avoidance. Twice Cara had told him to let her be, but it wasn't until the third time that he finally let up.

Maisie had been clinging more closely to Reilly as the days went on, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by anyone. She spoke of wanting her sister to stay, or wishing she could go with them when they left. The hint of desperation in her tone only grew as the days went on, leaving Reilly feeling more helpless than ever, when all she wanted was exactly what Maisie wanted: to be able to take the little girl with her.

And then, suddenly, it was the night before they were due to leave. Reilly was taking Maisie home, to her parents house as they had the past three nights since Zachary was out of town, set to return late, but still in time to see them all off. Niall, of course, was with them, and was having a lively conversation with the very tired little girl in the back seat.

They let themselves in when they arrived, taking Maisie straight upstairs. It was no coincidence that her room was Reilly's old room. They helped the little girl pick out her pajamas and waited outside the room while she changed into them. And then the three of them sat on Maisie's bed, Maisie snuggled into both of them, while Niall read a bedtime story.

She asked for another when the story was finished, and Niall was more than happy to oblige, quickly choosing another out of the large book he had in his hands. Reilly rested her head against Niall's shoulder, fingers playing with Maisie's long hair, and she couldn't help but feel that together was where they all belonged.

To everyone's surprise, Niall declined when Maisie asked for a third story. Instead, he closed the book and lifted Maisie up to his chest and hugged her tightly. He told her how much fun he'd had getting to hang out with her, that he was excited for the morning when they all would have breakfast together, and that she must sleep in order for that to happen. She nodded, but did not make a move to lay down. Instead she climbed over to Reilly and hugged her sister like her life depended on it.

It was all Reilly could do to keep it together. She felt like Maisie was trying so hard to tell her something without words. Something that felt a lot like "please don't leave me here" and being a feeling she knew all too well, it was breaking her heart. Niall moved off the bed to make room for the little girl to lay down and finally Reilly kissed her sister's face and tucked her in and then kissed her face again. Before she stood up, she promised they would be back first thing in the morning.

Niall ushered Reilly out of the room, closing the door quietly behind them. He held Reilly's hand and led her through the house toward the front door, but she pulled on his hand and changed direction before they got there. Together they made their way into her father's office, where he was seated at his desk. He looked up as they entered, eyebrows raised as if giving permission to speak.

"Maisie is in bed," she said, and he gave a slight nod of acknowledgement. "We'll be back in the morning to get her for breakfast. We're flying out tomorrow, so she'll be with Zachary at the airport to say goodbye. I don't know what his plans are after that, but I just wanted to let you know what's going on up until then." He nodded again. "I also noticed that you haven't responded to the itinerary I sent you for Maisie's trip to London," she added.

Kenneth met her gaze, but only for a moment. "It's too long," he commented, his eyes fixed on the paper in front of him. "There's no reason for her to be away two months." Reilly opened her mouth to argue but he held up a hand, knowing without even looking at her that she was about to argue. "I will allow one month. You may choose the dates, but it is not to exceed thirty days. As I said before, she is a child, and quite frankly, so are you. If you wish more time, you may spend it with her here," he said.

Reilly drew in a breath, blinking back tears. "Fine," she said. "I'll bring by a revised itinerary tomorrow morning when we pick her up." She gave a gentle tug on Niall's hand and retreated from the office.

They were safe in the car before the tears started slowly leaking from her eyes. "I try really hard not to say this, but it's not fair," she said, her voice breaking. "I just want her to be happy and she's not and it's not fair," she told him.

Niall breathed out. "I know," he agreed. "You're doin' everything you can Darlin', but there's some things you can't fix. It kills me that this is one of them things neither of us can do anything about," he told her.

"Me too," she said, wiping at the moisture on her cheeks. After a long moment she drew in a breath and changed the subject. "I wanted to take you somewhere the first night you were here and you wouldn't let me." Niall breathed out a chuckle of sorts, recalling the night easily. "Can I take you now?" she asked.

"Course, Darlin'," he said with a nod.

She was quiet as she drove, but they didn't go far. After only about five minutes she pulled to the side of the road and put the car in park. Still without a word she pushed open the door and got out. Niall followed suit, taking her hand as she led him down a path. They walked for a little bit before Niall's pace slowed as he looked at his surroundings. And then, finally, he came to a complete stop.

"This is weird," he said. At his side, Reilly gave a slight nod. "This is real weird," he said.

Again, she nodded. "How do you think I felt five and a half years ago? I remember thinking to myself when you were showing me around London, how could this place in London look just the same as one I knew in Boston? Then you told me it was where you went to be alone, to clear your head. And that's what this was for me. Before, after, in between all the messed up things I was doing, this was my spot to think and be alone," she said. "I think that day scared me a little bit, because it felt like we were somehow," she paused. "I don't know. Connected?" She shrugged. "I started to wonder how many times we'd sat in our little spots that were near exact replicas and looked up at the same sky at the same time and thought about our lives." She sighed softly. "Maybe that's stupid."

Niall cut her off with a soft, sweet kiss. "That's not stupid, Darlin'," he said. "This is incredible. You never told me about this place," he commented.

"I know," she said with a shrug. "I didn't really know how without sounding dumb. It was too weird."

She sighed again. Her mind was all over the place, and there were so many things she wanted to say, but wasn't sure how to string them all together.

"I know I put you through Hell, Niall," she went on. "And I know I've apologized, and I know you've accepted my apology, obviously, but I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling terrible. Because I think I knew that day. Well, I probably knew before that day. But I felt it down in my gut that day that it was you. It was going to be you no matter what." Tears started to roll down her cheeks again. "I just wasn't ready, you know? I was so young and so scared and so confused and everything inside of me felt so messed up and I wasn't ready for forever."

She wiped at her eyes. "And I wish now that I was then," she confessed. "I wish we hadn't spent so much time apart from each other. I wish we hadn't wasted those years. Because I know I never said it but I loved you then, Niall. I loved you so much and it scared me and I ran because that's what I do. I get scared and run away. I didn't know how to fight. I'm only just learning that now," she said.

Niall brushed her bangs to the side, eyes shining brightly at her. "I know, Darlin'," he said. "I know." He paused briefly and changed gears. "Come here," he said, giving her hand a little tug and leading her over to a bench. As soon as they were seated she leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder. He let go of her hand and slipped his arm around her. They had been so different the last time they'd sat together at the place in London. Wanting to touch but unable to, each hurting for different reasons. And yet they were the same. So much in love with each other, and both so tired.

Reilly drew in a breath and closed her eyes. "The nightmares," she said, moving as close to Niall as she could get, hiding her face against him. "They're about the past," she confessed. "They're so real. It's like I'm back in it. I always have them when I'm here, but this is the worst they've been," she told him. "I know it's been hard on you, and I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before when you asked."

He kissed her forehead. "You don't need to apologize. Told you, you've done nothin' wrong, Darlin'." He wrapped his other arm around her and held her close. He could feel her shaking slightly and his heart was hurting for her. "Been thinkin'," he went on, "and of course it's your choice, but I thought maybe I could go with you to your doctor sometime. I know that's your time and it's a safe place for you, and I don't want to take that away from you, so it's okay if it's separate from your regular appointment. There's just some things I hoped the three of us could discuss," he said.

Shifting a little, she peeked up at him. "What things?" she asked.

A soft smile played at his lips. "Just ways I can help you, Darlin'," he told her. "I know it's your fight and you're doing great. But if you start to get scared of something I can't see I want to know what I can do for you. Of course I'll give you whatever space you need or want, but if there's anything else I can do I want to know what it is. Don't like feeling so helpless all the time when you're hurting so much," he said.

She stared up at him and for a moment he wasn't sure if she was looking at him or through him. Then, she leaned up and barely kissed his jaw, near his chin. "Okay," she said.

He kept his eyes on her. "Okay?" he asked.

"Okay," she agreed. "Yes. We can have that conversation."

"Yeah?" he asked again, almost as if he didn't believe how easily she had agreed. She nodded at him. He leaned in and caught her lips briefly. "Love you so much," he said just below his breath.

She kissed him again and then put her head back down and hugged him tightly. "Times infinity," she told him. He kissed the top of her head and held her like that for a long time, silently thanking everything in existence that he had her.

Eventually they made it back to the hotel and after fitful hours of little sleep, they were up and back at her father's house. Again, she let herself in and went straight for the office to drop off the revised itinerary she had promised. While she wasn't happy about it, she had chosen the month of July for Maisie to be in London, and Reilly would spend the last week of June and the first week of August in Boston. It wasn't the full two months she wanted, but it was what she could best work out. Kenneth wasn't in the office, so she left it on the desk and headed upstairs to see if Maisie was awake.

She knocked first on Maisie's bedroom door. When there was no answer she pushed the door open and peeked inside. Her eyebrows drew together as she scanned the empty room, and then turned back toward Niall, suggesting that maybe she was already downstairs and waiting for them. Together they made their way back down the stairs and through the house. Reilly's stomach sunk with every empty room, and finally bottomed out when the little girl was nowhere to be found.

Tears filled her eyes and she turned on Niall. "Where is she?" she asked him, her voice shaky with panic. "We made sure she was in bed last night and now there's no sign of her," she said, turning to look through all the rooms again. She felt the tears falling down her face as she opened every door, calling out the little girl's name. Ending up in Maisie's room once again, she turned back to Niall. "Naill, where is she?" she questioned frantically.

But she didn't wait for him to answer and she was too panicked to notice that his face had gone white as a ghost. Instead she walked down the hall and pounded on her father's bedroom door. "Where's Maisie? Where's my sister?" she shouted repeatedly until Kenneth finally pulled open the door, looking tired and disgruntled.

"What are you making a scene about?" he asked. Allison was just behind, looking annoyed at the rude awakening.

"Maisie," Reilly said frantically. "I came to get her for breakfast and she isn't in her room or anywhere else in this house. Where. Is. She?" she said.

Kenneth yawned. "Don't be dramatic. She's probably at Zachary's," he said with disinterest.

"No!" Reilly shouted. "Zachary didn't get in until late last night. I brought her here. I put her in her bed. I told you she was here. Did you check on her before you went to bed last night?" she asked. Kenneth's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "She is your child. Did you make sure she was okay?" she yelled. Niall's hand gently closed around Reilly's arm but she shook him off. "Where is she? Where is Maisie?" she questioned again.

"Did you call Zachary?" Allison suggested.

By now Reilly was furious. "Are you even listening to me? She was here at nine o'clock last night. She isn't with Zachary. Zachary wasn't going to be home until after midnight. Why are neither of you concerned about your child?" she yelled and stormed away. Niall followed, phone pressed to his ear, speaking quickly and quietly to whomever was on the other end.

They were outside when Niall finally lowered his phone and tried once again gently grab Reilly's arm. "I've just spoken with Harry," he said as she shook him off again. "Reilly, please, I am worried sick also but please can you take a breath. I need you to breathe. Please," he begged. She turned and glared at him.

"My sister is missing and you want me to calm down?" she shouted at him.

He put his hands out quickly. "No, that's not what I said," he insisted. "Said I need you breathe. Harry is speaking with the police right now. Lexie is going to phone everyone else, including Zachary, and they're all going to come help us look for her," he said calmly. "Can you please just take one moment and breathe before we start searching?"

Reilly drew in a shaky, shallow breath and quickly let it out. "Happy?" she demanded.

"Thrilled," he mumbled.

"Great," she said, turning. "You go that way, and I'll go this way. We'll cover more ground faster if we split up."

In less than a second Niall was at her side again. "Absolutely not. You're too frantic, and you're too scared. I'm staying with you. We're going to find her together," he said firmly. "End of discussion."

Surprisingly, Reilly didn't argue. Silently they walked through the neighborhood together, checking down every street and around every corner. They hadn't even made it an entire block before the tears were streaming steadily down Reilly's face, while both hers and Niall's hearts raced as if they'd just run a marathon. This was her worst nightmare coming true.

After twenty minutes her vision had blurred badly from the tears and she crumpled to the sidewalk. Niall immediately sat next to her and hugged her shaking form protectively. He spoke softly into her ear, assuring her over and over that they would find Maisie. But nothing was soothing her. He hadn't expected it to, though. No amount of words could make this better, but he had to try to do something for her.

And so they sat together on the curb until the others began to arrive. Reilly was still crying, still shaking when Lexie got to her, pulling her from Niall and telling her all the people she'd called, all the eyes she had peeled for the little girl. Still, she wasn't calming down.

Niall and Harry took off to continue searching the neighborhood. It wasn't long before Liam, Aimee, Mr. and Mrs. Payne, Zayn, Jasmin, Louis, and Cara had arrived and they had all gone off in different directions. Zachary had called to let Lexie know he was going to be searching his neighborhood, agreeing to meet up with them in one hour.

It was both the longest and shortest hour of Reilly's life. It seemed to drag with each step she took, but all too soon she found herself back at her father's house, surrounded by her friends, but still without her sister.

"I've cancelled all of our flights," Harry said. Reilly looked up at him. "None of us are leaving until we've found Maisie and she's home safe. I don't care if it takes weeks." Reilly's face scrunched at Harry quickly backpedaled. "It's won't, though. I'm just saying we're all going to be with you through this. It's what family does," he told her. Tears started flowing from her eyes all over again. He rubbed her back gently. "Lexie's mum has gone to check the dance studio where she had her birthday. Can you think of anywhere else she might go?" he asked.

Reilly shrugged, racking her brain for places the little girl might be, but she was coming up empty. She wasn't here with Maisie enough to know her favorite places. Except, maybe, "What about the zoo?" she asked. "She knew a lot about all the animals. Maybe she tried to go there."

Harry began typing something onto the screen of his phone. "I'm calling them now," he said. Louis and Cara quickly headed for the door. "They'll drive over there and see if she's anywhere around outside of it."

"Where is Zachary?" Reilly wondered out loud. "Where is Maisie?" she said more quietly. She stood up and walked through the house, up the stairs, and to Maisie's room.

Silently she curled up on the unmade bed and picked up the stuffed elephant she'd given Maisie for her first birthday and hugged it tightly to her chest. She let her tears fall onto the pillow, onto the stuffed toy she was clutching as her mind raced with terrible thoughts. She tried to stop them but it was no use.

She didn't know how long it had been, or how she'd managed to fall asleep, but when she woke up it was to Louis curled around her. They hadn't shared a bed since five and a half years ago in Ireland, but there was something comforting about him being the one holding her in time like this. Of course, she loved Niall with all of her being, but he loved her in the same manner, and he was just as panicked as she was even if he wasn't showing it the same. Louis, though concerned and usually very boisterous, knew how to put all of that aside and bring a sense of calm to her in a way not even Harry could.

He gave her a squeeze when he felt her move and then loosened his arms so she could shift, and she turned to look at him. "What time is it?" she asked.

"It's not been long that you've been asleep if that's what you're asking. Though it's probably the best thing for you. Niall is worried out of his mind and can't stop moving. He's been round the neighborhood five times just looking for her. Think it's safe to say she's not here. Zachary stopped by for just a few to check in and went right back out. Your father's a real prat and hasn't shown much interest other than to ask once if we've heard anything," he told her.

Reilly closed her eyes and breathed in and then opened her eyes as she let the breath out. "Louis, what time is it?" she asked again.

"It's noon," he said.

Noon. She breathed in again. It had been three and a half hours since she and Niall had come to pick Maisie up. And what scared her the most was that she had no idea how long Maisie had been gone. It could have been been four hours or fourteen hours. She sat up slowly and then stood. "Reilly, where are you going?" Louis inquired.

But she didn't answer as she made her way out of the room and down the stairs. Her vision tunneled as she walked into her father's office, where both he and Allison were, and slammed the door behind her.

"What is wrong with you?" she shouted. They were both looking at her as if they were alarmed by her outburst. "How can you not care that she's missing? That sweet child who brings nothing but light to every room she enters, how can you not love her? How can you not want her? How can you not be worried sick about her right now?" Tears of frustration, of panic, of pure hated, and of sadness fell from her eyes and streaked down her cheeks. "How can you not want her, but still put limitations on how long I can spend with her out of spite. How can you say, when you think she can't hear you, that you don't love her but not let her be with people who do? She deserves better than this. Every child does," she yelled. "I deserved better than how you treated me!"

She would have fallen to the floor if a pair of arms hadn't wrapped around her and held her up. In the midst of her tirade she hadn't heard Louis come in behind her. But he had and now she was in his arms and he was speaking softly into her ear, trying to calm her, to convince her to leave the room with him. And then, carefully, he led her into the hallway and slid down the wall so they were both sitting on the floor.

"Oh, my love," he said to her as he rested his head against the side of hers. "Yelling at them won't change them. It won't make you feel better. And it certainly won't bring Maisie home." He rubbed her arm gently. "You must try to focus on anything she might have told you recently about where she would go."

But Reilly was at a loss, her mind more of a jumbled mess than ever. "I don't know, Louis," she sobbed. "I don't know where she would go. She's been with Zachary so long that it's the only place I can think of but she wasn't there," she said. "All I can think is terrible thoughts right now."

He kissed the side of her head. "I know, my love. I know," he said. "Let's give Zachary a ring and have him stop by his apartment again. Maybe she's shown up there since he's been out," he suggested. It took a moment but Reilly gave a slight nod and allowed him to help her to her feet.

They went back to the living room where she fell onto the couch next to Harry and curled against him, sobbing into his shirt. Lexie called Zachary and then sat on the other side of Reilly, curling up against her just as Reilly was against Harry and hugged her tightly.

Another three hours passed. Everyone took turns going out to search for Maisie. Zachary checked in only once more to let them know where he'd been and where he was going. Reilly racked her brain for anything that might help but always came up short. Her mind wandered all over the place no matter how hard she tried to stop it from going to the scary places. She was in and out of sleep, crying off and on.

Another hour and a half went by and she felt a gentle shake. She opened her eyes, not realizing she'd been asleep again, this time on Liam. Niall was standing over her, holding out his phone to her. She rubbed her eye as she took it from him, shifting to a more upright position.

"Rei?" a voice came through the phone.

"Zachary?" she inquired, her voice hoarse from yelling and crying and sleeping. Her heart raced as panic filled her chest once more.

"I've got her, Rei," he said. "She's okay."

Reilly breathed out a sigh of relief as more tears stung her eyes. "Oh my god," she breathed. And then a hundred questions flooded her mind. "Where was she? Where are you? I'll come meet you," she said frantically.

"I'm bringing her to you. ETA is fifteen minutes. Just sit tight," he told her.

"Okay," she barely managed as she handed the phone back to Niall. He took it from he and she reached out to him. Without hesitation he grabbed onto her hand and pulled her up. Her arms wrapped around his middle and she hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry," she mumbled into his shirt.

Niall rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. "Shh," he urged. "You don't owe me any apologies."

"I owe you a thousand apologies," she told him. He kissed her forehead again and pulled her down onto the couch, holding her close to him.

They stayed like that until the door opened and then she was on her feet immediately. She met them in the hallway. Maisie reached for her and wrapped herself tightly around Reilly the second she was in her arms. "Baby, where did you go?" Reilly asked quietly, tears once again forming behind her eyes. Even having her sister safe in her arms was not bringing her comfort.

"I found her in the train station, curled up asleep in a corner. Searched the place three times before I saw her," Zachary told her. "She said didn't want to stay here anymore, and she was trying to find you."

Reilly blinked back the tears that were fighting to free themselves and sniffled. "Baby, don't ever do that again. I was so scared," she told the little girl. She kissed the side of Maisie's head. "Please don't ever scare me like that ever again," she begged.

"I'm sorry, Reilly," Maisie said in a tiny voice. "I didn't want to scare you." She hugged Reilly even tighter.

Reilly nodded and kissed her sister's face. "Okay, it's okay, Little One," she cooed. "Come on, let's go get you cleaned up," she said and started for the stairs. Lexie and Jasmin were on her heels, following the girls into the bathroom and starting to run the bath water, getting towels, picking out clean clothes for Maisie, and whatever else they could do to help Reilly before they ultimately shooed her out of the bathroom.

She didn't know what to do with herself while she waited, wanting only to be with Maisie, to talk to her, to find out what made her decide to leave on her own instead of wait for her to come back for her. But then she realized she knew the broad reason, and maybe the exact specific reason didn't matter as much. She went downstairs and into her father's office once more. He looked surprised to see her back.

"Your daughter is home, not that it matters to you since you didn't even care that she was gone," she announced. Kenneth and Allison both just stared at her. For a long moment she only stared back. "I'm taking her with me," she said firmly. "I know I have no legal rights to her, but the fact of the matter here is that I want her and you don't. And I also know you'll want to fight me on this out of spite but if you do I promise you that I will find someone who has the power to remove her from your care because you are not caring for her."

Kenneth raised his eyebrows at her and opened his mouth to speak but she did not let any sound leave his mouth before she continued. "I love Maisie more than life itself. I would do anything for her, and I don't believe either you can say the same thing," she observed. "So please, don't make this about hurting me anymore. Be decent and do this for Maisie, because I will not leave her here with you. I want her and I am willing to fight for her, but I am asking you not to make me. Let me take her now, draw up the papers giving me guardianship of her and have them to me within thirty days. This is the best solution for all of us," she told them. "I am not a child," she insisted, referencing the conversation she'd had with her father the night before. "I can give Maisie a good life and then you won't have to be responsible for her or even see either of us again until you decided you want to. Win/win."

Her father and step mother looked at each other for a long time. She was ready for a fight. But then, finally, her father turned to her. "Fine," was all he said.

"In writing," Reilly amended. "Signed by both of you," she said, and then changed her mind. "By all of us."

Kenneth hesitated for a brief moment and then turned to his computer. Moments later a three pieces of paper were on the printer and he took all of them, signed each one, and passed them to Allison. She signed them and slid them toward Reilly, who also signed them.

She took a copy for herself. "Thank you," she said, turning to leave the room. "I'll be back after I pack a bag for her so I can retrieve her passport."