Collide, Ignite

After finally sorting everything out and getting Maisie packed up. they ended up staying another night in Boston. Knowing it would be another restless night, Reilly tried to make good use of the time and spent half the night trying to find a flight for all of them. Her attempts were fruitless, though. There was not a single flight in the next three days that would accommodate thirteen of them. Finally she closed her laptop and retired to the bedroom.

Niall was sleeping peacefully for the first time since he'd been in Boston. There was a part of her that felt incredibly guilty for that and wanted to take her pillow and sleep on the couch. But another part of her, the more selfish part, wanted to be next to him. Wanted him to reach for her and pull her close. Wanted to be safe inside his arms. And she quickly gave in to that part of herself and climbed into bed. At first she stayed on her side of the bed, laying on her back, staring up at the ceiling, knowing she didn't want to close her eyes and let the nightmares come. After barely ten minutes she rolled toward him and laid her head against his bare shoulder.

He softly hummed at the contact and immediately wrapped his arms around her. "Was startin' to think ya weren't comin' to bed," he mumbled, his heavy Irish lilt gravelly from sleep.

"Shh," she urged, her fingers dancing across the soft skin on his chest.

A groan escaped him. "Cold hands," he mumbled, removing one of his arms from around her and enveloping her hand in his larger, warmer one.

"Sorry," she murmured, burying her face in his shoulder. He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Please go back to sleep," she begged him softly. "I'll stay awake so I don't disturb you anymore," she promised.

He kissed the side of her head and breathed in deeply. "Happy to stay awake with you," he said. His fingers pinched and twisted her hair lazily. "Love you so much," he reminded her.

"I know. I love you, too," she said. "Please sleep," she pleaded. "Please."

And then, within mere minutes his breathing slowed and deepened again, and he was at rest once more. Reilly closed her eyes but, true to her word, did not allow herself to succumb to sleep so she wouldn't fall prey to the nightmares inside her mind.

At breakfast in the morning, Reilly learned her failed attempts to find a flight for them didn't much matter. Harry, who had also spent half the night researching flights and coming up empty just as she had, had already taken care of the issue by chartering a private flight. And so they enjoyed the breakfast they were supposed to have the day before, prior to Maisie's disappearing act before heading to the airport.

Maisie was ecstatic about the situation. From the time they sat down at breakfast until about two hours into the flight when she finally fell asleep, she did nothing but talk about all the things she would get to do and how great everything was going to be. And once the little girl was silent, Reilly wasn't far behind in finally allowing herself rest, the last thought before finally being pulled into sleep being that there was a lot for her and Maisie to talk about. It would likely be a few days before that happened, but it was something she had to start thinking about.

The next thing she knew Niall was gently rubbing her arm, eyes shining brightly at her as he carefully brought her out of her slumber. She blinked rapidly, trying to get her bearings, and he finally informed her that they had landed. She had managed to sleep most of the flight without being woken by a nightmare, which was a feat in and of itself.

There was some debate, once they were off the plane, about where Maisie would be staying for the night. For Reilly, it was obvious, but since she was still a little groggy from finally sleeping, but not for nearly long enough, she was having a difficult time getting that across.

"I think it would be best for everyone if Maisie came with us for the night," she heard her mother saying. She blinked rapidly as the older woman went on. "It's been a long few days, and you need sleep, Sweetheart," she was saying.

Reilly shook her head. "No. I want her with me," she said.

"I understand, but it's just for tonight," Mrs. Payne said gently.

They went back and forth for a couple minutes until Maisie latched herself onto Reilly. "I want to go with Reilly!" she said stubbornly.

Reilly looked down and put her hand on the top of the little girl's head and gently stroked her hair. "You are, Little One. We're going to go home," she said, and then looked up again. "Mum, please. I appreciate that you want to help, but it's really important that we start getting adjusted right away," she insisted, her tone firm. And finally, Mrs. Payne backed off.

There were cars waiting to take them home. Niall helped Maisie into her car seat and got her all strapped in and then turned to Reilly. He reached for her and gently pulled her toward him, letting his hand slide from her side to the small of her back.

"The two of you are gonna be alright?" he asked her. She nodded at him and he kissed the tip of her nose. "Guess we should say goodnight now," he suggested.

But Reilly shook her head slowly. "Actually," she began. "If you're not totally sick of us," she went on, letting her eyes drop, "do you want to stay with us?" He quirked an eyebrow at her, and even though she wasn't looking at him, she could feel the look he was giving her. "I mean," she lifted her eyes up to meet his again. Being more clear in what she wanted was something she had been working on. "I want you to come stay with us tonight, if you're feeling up to it," she said.

The corners of Niall's mouth curved upward. "Always up to being with my best girls," he said and leaned in to press a kiss to her lips. His hand slid from her back and closed around hers, and he led her around the car and held the door open for her, climbing in after she was settled.

Upon realizing what was happening, Maisie's entire face lit up and she spoke enthusiastically for much of the drive back to Reilly's house. But by the time they finally reached their destination, she had fallen asleep once again. Reilly took the little girl from her car seat straight up to her room and tucked her into bed, leaving her in her clothes for the night.

As she was closing the door to Maisie's room behind her, Niall was just getting up the stairs with three pieces of luggage in tow. He left Maisie's outside her bedroom door and took the other two into Reilly's room. She immediately opened both bags and started to gather some of the clothes.

"I'm just going to go get a load of laundry started," she told him. "Is there anything you want me to throw in there for you?" she inquired, twisting around to look at him.

He shook his head and disappeared in the bathroom. Moments later he had reappeared at her side and was carefully taking the load of clothing she held in her arms and set them back into the bag. Then he gently, without explanation, took hold of her wrists and stood, pulling her up as he did so.

"What are you-" she began

He leaned in and kissed her softly to silence her. "That can wait for tomorrow," he said, barely pulling back from her lips.

"I just want to-"

He kissed her again, for a beat longer this time. "It can wait," he repeated. She looked over her shoulder at the open bags on the floor as he pulled her toward the bed. He motioned for her to sit, and then knelt down to take off her shoes, massaging each foot briefly after removing them.

The butterflies in her stomach began to flutter their wings, and in that moment she was falling in love with him all over again. She reached out and tangled her fingers in his hair, gently scratching at his scalp with her nails. He let out a low groan of appreciation and glanced up at her, placing both hands on the bed on either side of her to lift himself up. She met him halfway, attaching her lips to his without caution. Her fingers continued to move through his hair as he continued to lean forward, a hand offering support until her back made contact with the bed.

Slow, deep kisses turned shorter until finally she was just staring up at him hovering above her, fingers still tangled in his hair. Sex was not the intention of either. They were simply appreciating and loving each other. And then he was pushing himself up, helping her up. He pressed another kiss to her mouth and they both got up to get ready for bed.

In the morning, she woke up before him, though not as early as usual. She was wrapped around him from behind, face buried in his back and arms hugging him tightly. Her hands were enveloped in his, keeping them warmer than they ever were in the morning. She tried hard not to disrupt his sleep, but she must have moved just enough to wake him because moments later he was moving their hands, opening his to expose hers enough to place a kiss to her knuckles before turning to face her.

"No nightmares," he said to her, voice gravelly from sleep.

"No nightmares," she repeated back to him in an equally gruff voice.

He leaned in like he was going to kiss her but then stopped himself and barely let his lips brush the tip of her nose. She frowned and wiggled closer to him until her lips found his. He smiled against her mouth, savoring the sweet sensation that her kiss brought over him.

"Was going to do that," he said when she finally moved her lips from his. "But then I didn't want to assault you with morning breath," he told her.

"I don't care," she said, easily meeting his eyes. "I spent too long not getting to kiss you first thing in the morning." She leaned in and kissed him again. "I just don't care," she repeated.

He smiled again, wider this time. "Let's just stay right here today," he suggested.

"Maisie," Reilly reminded him, though he seemed to realize even before she spoke why that wouldn't be possible. "And besides, there is no food in this house, so I'll need to hit the grocery store later," she added.

"Course," Niall agreed. "The three of us can do that."

She raised an eyebrow at him, but she was smiling. "You want to go grocery shopping with me and Maisie?" she asked.

He nodded, grinning practically ear to ear. "Mmhmm," he hummed. "Love doing them kinds of things with you, if I'm honest," he told her. "Just love being with you no matter what." He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Know things will be different with the little one around now and I want you to know that I'm here. This doesn't change things with us. Still want you, still want us. And of course want the best for Maisie."

For reasons she didn't understand, tears filled Reilly's eyes. All she could do was nod at him. Any words would have come out choked, so instead of trying to speak, she just inched closer to him and buried her face in his soft chest. His arms wrapped around her without question and he kissed the top of her head, holding her close.

They stayed like that for over an hour, until Maisie's soft knock sounded on the bedroom door. Reilly was up and across the room in seconds, pulling open the door. Maisie's long hair was a mess and she was rubbing her eye, but the second she saw Niall standing right behind Reilly, her entire face lit up, like she'd forgotten he was going to be there. She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Reilly's legs, hugging her tightly. Reilly mussed the little girl's hair and then leaned down to pick her up.

"I'm hungry," she announced as she settled against Reilly's side.

Niall poked her nose playfully. "Me too, Little One," he said. "But I heard there's no food to eat downstairs." Maisie's face fell immediately. "Aww, don't get sad," he urged. "Was hoping I could treat my girls to breakfast out this morning. How's that sound?" he asked.

Maisie quickly perked up and he lifted her from Reilly's arms, offering to help get her ready to go while Reilly took a quick shower. But in reality Maisie didn't require a lot of help. So while she picked out her clothes and got herself dressed, Niall gathered the clothes Reilly was going throw in the wash the night before along with a few other things and got the load of laundry started. Then he helped Maisie with her hair, and they put away all the clothes and books and toys Reilly had packed and brought back with them. By the time they finished all that, Reilly was out of the shower and dressed. Niall handed Maisie's shoes and socks to her and dropped a quick kiss on her lips, asking for just ten minutes to get ready.

They took their time at breakfast. As usual, most of the time Maisie wasn't eating was spent drawing. The rest of time she was chattering away about anything and everything. After breakfast the trio took a walk and found themselves at a park. Maisie ran around and made friends, but also didn't hesitate in pulling Reilly and Niall onto the playground with her.

Once they were finally able to tear Maisie away, they headed to the supermarket. They walked up and down the aisles, Reilly carefully selecting the things she put into her basket, while Niall and Maisie randomly pulled things from the shelves and tossed them into Niall's basket. Several times Reilly reached into Niall's basket and put things they didn't need, or didn't think Maisie needed to be eating, back on the shelf.

The next couple weeks were much the same. A few nights Niall stayed with them, a couple nights they stayed at Niall's, and some nights Niall was at his house and Reilly and Maisie were at theirs. They dropped in on Harry or Liam or Zayn or Louis occasionally. But mostly, everyone was trying to get back to a normal routine, which included Reilly going to her appointments with her psychologist.

Maisie had a lot of questions about Reilly's appointments, confused about why her sister had to go to the doctor every week if she wasn't sick. Reilly did her best to answer Maisie's questions honestly, but ultimately it was Niall who was able to put the little girl's mind at ease. She had no idea what he'd said to Maisie, though she'd asked and never got a clear answer.

It was after one of her appointments, after they ate dinner and played games, when Maisie had a minor meltdown over Niall getting ready to leave, that Reilly decided it was time to have a serious talk with Maisie. Niall took his time getting Maisie to calm down, remaining patient and calm with her as he explained that if she wanted him to stay longer all she had to do was ask nicely, and if he could, he would. He then handed Maisie off to Reilly and the two girls went upstairs to Maisie's room.

The girls settled onto Maisie's bed and Reilly kissed the top of the girl's head. "Are you okay, Little One?" she asked. Maisie nodded and folded herself as small as she could get as she snuggled into Reilly. "It's different now," Reilly said carefully. "It's not always going to be fun stuff every day. Niall can't always be here with us, or we can't always be over at his house. Same thing with your aunts and uncles. Sometimes you'll want to see them and you won't be able to. I need you to understand that," she said.

Maisie's little arms wrapped around Reilly's middle and she squeezed. "Okay," she said.

"I'm going to take care of you just like I always do when you're with me, I promise. I'm always going to listen to you when you talk to me. But that means you also have to listen to me when I talk to you. Sometimes I'm going to say no when you ask for things. Niall is going to say no sometimes. It's okay to be upset about it, but that doesn't mean we're going to say yes. And just like Niall told you, if you want something, you have to ask nicely, but also asking nicely doesn't always mean we're going to say yes," she said.

"I like it when Niall stays here, or when we go to his house. I like it when all of us can be together. It's like a family," Maisie told her.

Reilly leaned down and kissed her sister's head again. "I like it when all of us are together, too, Little One. Sometimes it's just going to be me and you, though. Sometimes Niall has other things he has to do, but if you ask him I bet he'll tell you that he'll always come back," she said. "Okay?"

Maisie nodded again and then looked up at her sister and grabbed her face. "I love you, Reilly," she said.

"Love you more, Little One," Reilly said back to her.

"Nuh uh, love you most," Maisie declared.

Reilly leaned down and kissed the tip of her sister's nose before the little girl climbed off her lap and laid her head on the pillow. Her eyelids were already drooping, ready for sleep, due in part to her meltdown and also because it was past her regular bedtime. Reilly got up from the bed and pulled the blankets over Maisie, tucking them underneath her chin and wishing the little girl sweet dreams.

Shutting Maisie's door behind her, Reilly retreated to her room and quickly slipped into a pair of pajama pants and a tank top before heading back downstairs. Niall was still there, having agreed to stay for the night after Maisie's meltdown. She stood at the edge of the room watching him for just a moment. He'd made tea for them, two cups still steaming sitting on coasters on the coffee table. His feet were propped up on the edge of the coffee table also, and the TV was on, and though he was watching it, he didn't seem to be paying much attention to it.

Finally she entered the room and as soon as he saw her from the corner of his eye, he dropped his feet to the floor so she could pass. But instead she stopped in front of him. He immediately reached for her hand and gave a gentle tug. She moved closer until he could reach her waist with his other hand, drawing her toward him until she was straddling his lap. His hand slid down from her back to her outer thigh at the same time his other hand was letting go of hers and finding a new home on her other thigh.

She leaned forward, fingers brushing against the sides of his neck, hands resting against his jaw, and kissed him with everything she had in her. Every bit of happiness. Every bit of fear and uncertainty. Of love and lust and certainty. Even her sadness went into the kiss. Because it was a part of her, and she didn't realize it when he said he loved every part of her that every part of her loved him also.

He had to drawn in a draw in a breath when she pulled back. "What's that for?" he asked.

Reilly moved one of her hands up to push his hair away from his face and kissed him again. "I love you," she said. A smile broke across his face the way it always did when she said those words to him, like he would never tire of hearing them from her. "I know things haven't exactly been ideal for us recently," she paused, "or ever, I guess, but you've been incredible. You've always been incredible." She drew in a breath. "It's like, my whole life I've rarely been certain about anything. Just dancing, really. But also, you. I look at you and I just know. You're so patient with me. And then I watch you with Maisie and you're so great with her all the time, too." She lifted her shoulders and held them for a long moment before letting them drop again. "I don't know. I thought for a long time that I didn't want kids of my own, but I see how you are with her and I think maybe I could want them with you."

Niall leaned forward and cut her off with a kiss, gently running his hands up and down her outer thighs, giving a gently squeeze near her hips. She breathed out when he leaned back and then drew in another breath.

"I still worry sometimes that I don't give you enough. That you'll get tired eventually and you won't have any choice but to take off," she admitted.

Again, Niall cut her off, but this time with words. "Don't think that, Darlin'. You can't see it, but you have this way of lookin' at people you care for. You look at Maisie like she's the sun. I see it when when you're with Louis. Harry and Zayn, also. You look at Liam like he could never do wrong. When you look at me it's like, I dunno, like you've just come home after a long trip. Every time. And I'm here as long as you'll have me," he told her.

She breathed in. "I just, I know sometimes I'm not easy. And now I have Maisie, and I've been thinking about it a lot and think I'm going to tell Harry and Louis that I want the dance studio and so I'll probably get busy with that. And sometimes I just get lost inside my own head, and I'll be right next to you but it's like I'm a thousand miles away. I know all that. So I just need you to tell me if it's gets to be too much, if I'm not giving you enough." She paused and sucked in another breath. "I know what it's like to be lonely in a relationship," she admitted. "It's awful and I don't want you to feel that way, ever. You don't deserve it."

"Okay," Niall said with a nod. "I promise to tell you before it gets to that point." He leaned forward and kissed her briefly. "But if I'm honest I don't think it's gonna be a problem. Told you before I take the bad with the good."

"I know," she said as she slowly shifted off his lap.

She gave a gentle tug on his arm as she moved to the other end of the sofa and leaned back against the arm. Niall shot her a confused glanced and she motioned for him to join her, and then opened her arms to him. Moments later his head was against her chest and his arms were around her waist. She slid one hand over his shoulder and down his back while the other slipped into his hair. A low groan escaped him as her fingers moved across his scalp and she kissed the top of his head.

They laid in silence, just holding each other and watching TV. Every so often one would let out a soft sigh, and eventually Niall's breathing slowed a little. Reilly might have thought he'd fallen asleep if his fingers weren't constantly moving in shapes on her sides. Her mind started to wander and she didn't try to stop it.

The future looked promising for the first time since she'd quit her job at UCL. She had Maisie, and even though she had been scared a few times in the short time since they'd come home that maybe she was in over her head, she knew that she had the support of the family she'd never intended to build. She had Niall, who was unwavering in his patience and showed her more love than she ever thought she deserved. Even better was that she loved him more than she knew was possible, and she'd stopped being so afraid of it. Her brain and all the parts of her that felt broken would maybe never be fully healed, but she was making progress daily. And she was ready to take the next step, to start another chapter of her life and move forward with the offer Harry and Louis had made her.

Her heart sped up a little bit at the thought of all the things that would go into the dance studio, how huge of a project it would be. From there her mind quickly switched gears and she considered going back to school. Not necessarily to earn another degree, but there was still so much left for her to learn. She wanted to study more languages, more cultures, more human behavior. Then again her brain moved, this time back to Maisie, a reminder that she was now responsible for raising the little girl, and how much attention that required.

And in all that, she hadn't realized just how much she'd managed to work herself up until Niall was bringing her back down. His fingers had stopped moving in shapes and instead his hands were moving up and down her sides. He was breathing in deeply and out slowly against her body, silently encouraging her to do the same. And he hummed softly, soothingly. It took her a moment, but she managed to get her breathing back to normal, and her heart to slow down to something closer to its normal rate.

She scratched the back of his head gently. "I haven't forgotten that you wanted to meet with my doctor. I'm going to make that appointment soon," she promised him.

"Mmm," he hummed. "S'alright, Darlin'. Take your time," he said.

Letting out another slow breath, Reilly closed her eyes, trying to quiet her mind. Trying to bring it back to the present. But behind her eyelids, she had Harry's voice echoing from the morning after her birthday party, urging her to imagine the future. And what she was seeing now was the same thing she saw then. There was Maisie, and there was Niall, and there was herself, and they were together.

She breathed in deeply and opened her eyes. "Hey," she breathed out, getting Niall's attention. He hummed in response, but didn't look up at her. Her fingers gave his head another gentle scratch and again he elicited a low groan. "Will you marry me?" she asked him, placing a kiss on top of his head. It took a moment, but he released his hold on her and pushed himself up so he could look at her. She cleared her throat and met his gaze. "I don't mean, like, I'm proposing; will you marry me? I just mean, some day, down the road, is that in our future?"

A smile had slowly spread across Niall's face as she spoke, his blue eyes brightening with each word she spoke. "Darlin'," he pushed Reilly's bangs out of her eyes, "yes," he affirmed. "Can't think of a thing I'd love better than to be married to you, two of us raising up Maisie, maybe even a little one of our own," he told her, and then leaned down to kiss her. "Don't have to rush to make any decisions about that right this moment, though, do we."

Reilly reached up and put her hands where Niall's neck met the base of his head and slowly moved her head back and forth. "No, not right this moment," she agreed. His eyes shined bright with adoration and the butterflies in her stomach took flight. Her fingers tingled where they touched his neck, and the sensation carried down his spine. She felt warm, comfortable. With Maisie, with Niall, with all the boys close by, with Lexie, and Cara, and Aimee, and Jas, she was home, and she was happy. "I just wanted you to know," she went on. "That's the future I see."