Radioactive

"How can I sleep at night? There's a war in my head."

---

The diner didn't have any heat, and as they darkness pressed against the concrete walls, the cold settled inside, sending them all into the kitchen to wrap themselves up in thick blankets. Taniss was the only one to stay sitting in his booth, his back pressed against the wall as he scraped away at the block of wood in his hand with Claires pocket knife.

It'd been hours since he heard any noise from the kitchen. Exhaustion had creeped up on him, yet he couldn't find the motivation to get up and move to the kitchen. Instead, he stayed sitting in the booth, fighting to keep his eyes open.

The door to the kitchen opened, but he didn't glance up. There was the sound of shuffling, and then someone was standing in front of him. It took several loud coughs to get his attention, and he finally glanced up to see Amber, her curly red hair sticking up in every direction, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and another folded in her arms. She held it out, offering it to him. "I thought you might be cold."

His gaze shifted to the blanket, back up to her face, and then to the block of wood. He went back to scraping it, trying to form a sharp tip for no reason other than to keep his mind occupied. Amber sighed loudly, sliding into the booth seat across from him. She copied the way he was sitting, pressing her back against the wall, her legs bent in front of her. "Aren't you tired?"

He didn't answer, so she tried again. "Thanks for playing with Bonnie today."

"Sure thing." He replied in a gruff voice. The lowness of his voice surprised her. She'd heard him speak, but not more than once or twice. Something about his voice stirred something inside of her.

She glanced towards him. "What's your story? How'd you end up here?" She wasn't at all surprised when he didn't answer. "Okay, i'll tell you my story. Maybe then you'll trust me enough to speak to me."

He only briefly stopped, twirling the knife in his hand before getting back to work. She pulled the blanket tighter around herself, sighing as she began. "Okay, well, I should start by explaining what happened before all of this--" she motioned around them, as if referring to the entire world at large. "--happened. I was sixteen and in high school. My boyfriend got me pregnant." She glanced at him, but he had no reaction to this. "When we found out it was a girl, he was very upset with me. He--" she let out a breathy laugh. "He hit me because of it."

He glanced up briefly, looking at her with the same blank expression he'd had all day before turning away. She continued, finding it easy to tell a stranger her life story. "I still wanted to do the right thing for Bonnie. We got married. Not legally, of course. But we fixed that when I turned eighteen. He never hit Bonnie, only me. I would've left if he had touched her. But he loved her." Her expression was almost dreamy as she spoke. "His name was Glenn. We lived together, our only concern to take care of Bonnie. More than a year ago I found out I was pregnant again. I was seven months pregnant when the apocalypse drove us out of our home and we were on the run." She laughed. Saying it that way made them sound like fugitives. It was funny to imagine; little Bonnie as a fugitive. "I had Lily in a hotel. I hadn't expected Glenn to help. He didn't want another baby, he only wanted Bonnie. As soon as I went into labor, he jumped into action. As cruel as he could be, it was nice to know that he wasn't going to leave me alone. I'm not sure I would've been able to do it." Her voice softened, and she stared down at her clasped hands. "I guess I would have done what I could. For Bonnie. And for Lily. They're all i've got." She took another breath, as if telling her story was extremely difficult. She wasn't sure Taniss was listening, but she still felt like talking. It felt good to tell someone. "It was difficult, as you can imagine. But he was there to help me. The entire way. It took hours, but eventually Lily was here."

He stole a quick glance, noticing the way her eyes lit up when she talked about her kids. She seemed to notice the movement and glanced at him, a small smile on her face. "It's amazing, isn't it? Everything in the world is madness right now. But just then it was like," she shook her head, as if trying to clear herself of her thoughts. "She was beautiful. It was amazing, really. That something so wonderful could come from something so awful." She tried to read his expression, but it remained emotionless. "We stayed in the hotel for only a week. I wish I would've stayed longer, but we didn't have much of a choice. I was weak still, but Glenn pushed me, all sympathy for me was gone. He refused to touch Lily. He only loved Bonnie." Her voice wavered. "We made it another week before we were attacked, just outside of a walmart while trying to steal a car." She paused for a moment, as if carefully choosing her next words. "I left Glenn. I loaded Bonnie and Lily into a pick up truck, and I left him." She turned her gaze on him, her expression impossible to read. "I left him to die. He must be dead now. Does that make me a bad person?"

His expression never changed. She wondered if he was capable of even feeling anything. He didn't seem like he did. "No." He said finally, monotone. "That doesn't make you a bad person." That was all he was going to say on the matter, it was obvious.

She wasn't expecting that. Surely what she had done was awful. But his proclamation sent a warm feeling through her body, flushing out the cold feeling that had settled in her chest. Without much thought, she slid out of the booth. The knife was forgotten as he fixed her with a blank stare. She dropped the blanket, and pressed her palms flat on his knees. Obediently, he slid one leg off of the booth, settling his foot on the floor, straightening out the other one to make room for her. She climbed onto the booth, stopping only when they were face to face.

Her breath fanned across his face as she tilted his chin upwards to make it easier. She pressed her lips against his, the warmth spreading through out her body. It took him a moment before his lips responded. Something about the girls touch made him open up, but only for a second. The taste was unfamilair, her touch foreign. He stilled beneath her, and she pulled back, fixing him with a look. She sighed, running a hand through her tousled red hair. "It's the blond, isn't it?"

For the first time, his expression contorted to an emotion she couldn't quite place, but the stony mask was almost immediantly clouding his features. "I thought so." She gave him a small smile. Instead of moving away from him, she turned around, settling in his arms. He seemed out of it, so she had to move his arms around her waist as she pulled the folded blanket from the table and draped it over them.

She pulled her arms tightly to her, her head rested on his chest so that she could hear his steady heart beat. "I just want someone to hold me." She said softly. As if that was enough for him, his arms tightened around her, and he rested his chin on her head. Her eyes drifted closed on their own accord. "thank you."

-*-*-*-*-

Matt was the first to wake up. He slowly pulled his arm from around Harpers waist. Their legs were tangled together, and he carefully removed himself from her, sighing in relief when she didnt awaken. He pushed opened the kitchen door, running his hands through his tangled hair. Ducking behind the counter, he threw open one of the many coolers, propping up the lid. He straightened up after fishing out a bottle of juice, peering out over the counter. He caught sight of Taniss, just waking up, his arms wrapped around Amber.

Taniss glanced down at the girl in his lap in surprise before the memories of the night before came flooding back. He caught Matts shocked gaze, and he shot him a hard look. "Don't--"

"She comes with a lot of baggage. Two kids, man."

"Shut up." Taniss snapped, careful not to awaken her.

Matt opened his juice, taking a long sip. "I dunno man, you're kind of lucky. They're already there, so you don't have to worry about the morning sickness, or cravings, or random mood swings." He shuddered, causing Taniss to roll his eyes. "Seriously man. Last week she got mad at me because I hadn't brushed my hair. I never brush my hair! It'd be an afro!" His loud voice caused Amber to stir.

She blinked open her eyes, taking in the scene around her. Matt winked at Taniss before ducking back into the kitchen. Amber shifted, glancing up at him. "Oh, hey."

"Hey." He answered gruffly, untangling his arms from her waist. She sat up, scratching her head lazily as she peered around the room. She glanced back at Taniss and seemed to realize that her presence wasn't wanted anymore, so she slid off of the seat and stood up, stretching her arms above her head.

She turned back towards him, trying to find something to say. "Thank you." When he failed to answer, she returned to the kitchen, leaving him to pick up the pocket knife and start again on the block of wood.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Matt pushed open the gas station door, the gun extended in front of him as he took careful steps over the sidewalk and into the parking lot, making sure the coast was clear.

Inside the gas station, Taniss knelt down in front of Bonnie. She held out the plastic black horse he had played with before. "You should take this with you. That way, when I see you again, we can play!"

Taniss took it from her hand, raising his eyebrows at her in surprise. "Are you sure that's a good idea? Won't you miss it?"

Bonnie shrugged, "yes, maybe. But i'll miss you too. I'm used to missing things, so it's okay."

Taniss opened his arms, and she rushed in for a tight hug. He stood up from his crouch, swinging her into the air. She giggled as he set her back on her feet. Before he could straighten up, she stood on her toes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Goodbye, Taniss."

He squeezed her hand, "Goodbye, Bonnie."

Everyone else had already had their goodbyes. Matt returned to tell them the zombies had moved on. He draped an arm protectively over Harpers shoulder, waving at the others as he lead her to the RV. He pulled open the door for her, and she glared at him when he acted like she may need help walking up the few small steps. "I'm pregnant, not cripple."

"Right, sorry." He grumbled, climbing in after her.

Taniss took the pocket knife Claire let him have out of his pocket. He'd gotten a new wood block, which he set down beside the plastic horse before picking it up and getting to work. Amaryllis slid into the seat across from him, wrapping a blanket tightly around herself. "I stayed up with Lily last night. I'm tired."

It seemed like only a few minutes later when she caught his attention by heaving a sleepy sigh. He glanced up to see her wrapped tightly in a light blue blanket, her head rested against the back wall of the booth, her hair falling in front of her face, hiding it from view. He couldn't help but crack a smile at the sight of her.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Harper pulled her own blanket up over her. The heat in the RV hardly seemed to circulate, so it was freezing. She crossed her legs, her hands clasped in front of her bloated stomach. The radio was on, playing softly, but neither of them seemed to be paying attention.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Matt glanced at her, looking a bit nervous.

"Yeah, sure." She answered through a yawn.

He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, taking a minute to ask whatever was on his mind. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before saying in a rushed voice, "Do pregnant girls just not feel like having sex?"

Harper continued staring out the window for a moment before glancing towards him, her eyes narrowed. "Are you serious right now?"

Matt shrugged, "I'm just saying, we've only done it the one time. I mean, we've done other things but--"

"Okay this entire conversation is making me extremely uncomfortable. Are you on drugs?"

Matt shot her a look. "No? I just thought, ya know, you're pregnant, so we don't have to worry about that."

Harper threw her hands into the air in exasperation, "we didn't think about that before!"

"I'm making things worse for myself, aren't I?"

Instead of answering, Harper let out a groan and got to her feet, loudly stomping across the RV. Matt tracked her movement in the rearview mirror as she slammed the bedroom door shut.

"Well," he shrugged, turning up the radio, "that didn't turn out like I was expecting." He flipped on the button to turn on the heat in the back room so she wouldn't freeze to death. "Stupid hormones."