Hurt Beneath My Skin
my eyes are fading
"Tomorrow is Visitation," Brian murmured as we walked the back garden's of the hospital.
It had been two days since he kissed me on the bus.
"So?" I shrug, rolling my eyes. My mother wasn't going to show up, neither was my step-dad. I would be lucky if my half brother came by. Visitation Day sucked for me, because as much as I hate my family, I just wish they would come take the time out of their life to come see me, and make sure that I'm okay. I shouldn't have to, because you know ... I tried to kill myself because of them.
"Hell-loww, earth to Rae!" Brian swung his hand in front of my face and I flinched back from it, smacking it from me. "Don't!" I shoved my finger at his chest, and he frowned at me. "What? What the fuck did I do this time?" He asked me, putting his hands on his hips. "... Nothing. Whatever, it's nothing." I sighed, shrugged again and turned away from him, heading into the patient-tended rose garden.
I don't understand why they allowed the patients to plant roses. Thorns that can make you bleed? Yeah. I'm sure there were a few people rubbing their wrists in the thickets there. I could hear Brian following me. "Rae... Rae, I'm sorry if I said anything that pissed you off, okay? I'm sorry!" God, he sounded like a fucking moron when he begged like that. I looked over my shoulder at him and stopped, turning.
"Don't, Brian. You didn't piss me off, okay? I'm just not having a good day."
"You're never having a good day, Rae. When was the last time I actually made you smile?"
I sighed loudly at him. He growled. I turned away from him and headed into the garden again, letting him follow behind me. It was a nice day out; it wasn't too hot but it was humid; I could feel the heat sitting on my skin, and it bothered me. What the hell was wrong with me? Why did everything bother me? Brian came up beside me and held my hand, giving me a small smile.
"I have something to show you,"
I let him lead me further into the garden, letting him hold my hand like it was something he did every day. Since he kissed me, every touch sent a shiver or a jolt of ... something through me. I liked it. I really did. Brian continued to pull me through the garden until we came upon a small gate in the back of the stone fence. The back of the hospital backed onto a big piece of untouched land, but we were never allowed this far back. "Bry," I gasped, pulling my hand from his. I followed the rules when I thought they needed to be followed, but this was something that could hinder me getting out sooner.
"What? It's just a gate, Rae. Come on, we're almost there." Brian wasn't having any of it, and with a look he grabbed my hand again and pulled me towards the gate. We looked around for any patrolling attendants, held our breath and opened the gate. It opened without a squeal and we skipped out, our hearts fluttering hard in our chests as we ran from the hospital.
"Brian! Wait!" I called after my faster friend, laughing. I was smiling, I was out of breath but that didn't seem to matter to the guy running at full speed a few feet a head of me. Where were we going? Did I care? Not really. I was actually having fun; breaking the rules was something I could get used to! "Keep up, slowpoke!" Brian yelled over his shoulder as he turned left and kept running. I eventually had to stop, my chest was burning like it had when I tried to drown myself.
I sat on the grass and looked up at the sky; fat, heavy clouds dotted the sky and the sun was already moving to sink behind the horizon. Catching my breath, I spread my legs and fell back onto the springy grass, closing my eyes as I let the sun's rays fall over my skin, thinking back to how I had felt the same as the water in my mother's bathtub slowly came over my mouth and nose.
It had been two days since he kissed me on the bus.
"So?" I shrug, rolling my eyes. My mother wasn't going to show up, neither was my step-dad. I would be lucky if my half brother came by. Visitation Day sucked for me, because as much as I hate my family, I just wish they would come take the time out of their life to come see me, and make sure that I'm okay. I shouldn't have to, because you know ... I tried to kill myself because of them.
"Hell-loww, earth to Rae!" Brian swung his hand in front of my face and I flinched back from it, smacking it from me. "Don't!" I shoved my finger at his chest, and he frowned at me. "What? What the fuck did I do this time?" He asked me, putting his hands on his hips. "... Nothing. Whatever, it's nothing." I sighed, shrugged again and turned away from him, heading into the patient-tended rose garden.
I don't understand why they allowed the patients to plant roses. Thorns that can make you bleed? Yeah. I'm sure there were a few people rubbing their wrists in the thickets there. I could hear Brian following me. "Rae... Rae, I'm sorry if I said anything that pissed you off, okay? I'm sorry!" God, he sounded like a fucking moron when he begged like that. I looked over my shoulder at him and stopped, turning.
"Don't, Brian. You didn't piss me off, okay? I'm just not having a good day."
"You're never having a good day, Rae. When was the last time I actually made you smile?"
I sighed loudly at him. He growled. I turned away from him and headed into the garden again, letting him follow behind me. It was a nice day out; it wasn't too hot but it was humid; I could feel the heat sitting on my skin, and it bothered me. What the hell was wrong with me? Why did everything bother me? Brian came up beside me and held my hand, giving me a small smile.
"I have something to show you,"
I let him lead me further into the garden, letting him hold my hand like it was something he did every day. Since he kissed me, every touch sent a shiver or a jolt of ... something through me. I liked it. I really did. Brian continued to pull me through the garden until we came upon a small gate in the back of the stone fence. The back of the hospital backed onto a big piece of untouched land, but we were never allowed this far back. "Bry," I gasped, pulling my hand from his. I followed the rules when I thought they needed to be followed, but this was something that could hinder me getting out sooner.
"What? It's just a gate, Rae. Come on, we're almost there." Brian wasn't having any of it, and with a look he grabbed my hand again and pulled me towards the gate. We looked around for any patrolling attendants, held our breath and opened the gate. It opened without a squeal and we skipped out, our hearts fluttering hard in our chests as we ran from the hospital.
"Brian! Wait!" I called after my faster friend, laughing. I was smiling, I was out of breath but that didn't seem to matter to the guy running at full speed a few feet a head of me. Where were we going? Did I care? Not really. I was actually having fun; breaking the rules was something I could get used to! "Keep up, slowpoke!" Brian yelled over his shoulder as he turned left and kept running. I eventually had to stop, my chest was burning like it had when I tried to drown myself.
I sat on the grass and looked up at the sky; fat, heavy clouds dotted the sky and the sun was already moving to sink behind the horizon. Catching my breath, I spread my legs and fell back onto the springy grass, closing my eyes as I let the sun's rays fall over my skin, thinking back to how I had felt the same as the water in my mother's bathtub slowly came over my mouth and nose.