Status: contains erotic content. or does it?
Teacher. Lover. Maniac.
Cold.
After a long moment of sitting at the end of your bed, you finally stood up and tried to wipe all the shameful thoughts of your head, the thoughts of you and Michael, even worse, you and Michael right after you returned from Tom's house. You wiped your face and removed the bed sheets and decided to take a shower. Before you stepped in, you glanced at yourself in the mirror tracing over all the curves, ridges and lines on your body and becoming disgusted that you shared your body with two men in the span of two days. You crinkled your nose and felt like a paid whore. Finally after the long hateful stare, you soaked under the warm water, you waited a moment for your hair to become completely soaked then decided to turn the hot water off and stand in the death cold water.
You felt your head ache as the water embraced your head, you felt your shoulders stiffened as your whole body raised goosebumps across your skin. You breathed out with a shakiness and hissed back in. You closed your eyes and forgot about the cold, you forgot that the water which felt like a snake slither over your feet, you forgot that you were standing in the shower and drifted into the depths of your mind. You really tried to find a way to tell Tom, to tell anyone. You thought of Casey at once and when you opened your eyes your knees felt a weakness in them and you collapsed. You hadn't realized that you stood there for a good long half hour in thought as your body slowly died from the sudden exposure to sub-zero temperature. You were shaking all over and couldn't conjure the strength to lean forward and turn it off. You tried to yell out but the breath in your lungs wasn't there, it went out and in faster then the beating heart of a race horse.
'This is it... ' you thought, feeling like you were going to die of a stupid household accident, or of your complete idiocy. You felt remorse as you were going to be found in a shower naked, and died of hypothermia. You smirked a little at the thought but it faded quickly as you now realized your hands were numb. You creased your eyebrows and closed your eyes once more and drifted into nothingness feeling that these were your last moments, and all that passed in your head as of the moment was how cold you were, and how hot Tom's body was against yours. Unfortunately, this made you feel ever so more freezing and then your mind cut blank, into darkness, into a void of black.
---
You felt a heat prickle your fingertips and you gasped back to life, well what felt like it anyhow. You breathed out short bursts of air and sucked in as much as you can and looked around frantically. You calmed slightly as you were in your own bed again, with the sun just rising. You tried to line your thoughts together as to what was going on. You collected that you last took a shower... a very cold shower and thought yourself dead, and you couldn't help but wonder if this was the next plain for your conscious. Then you whipped your head to the door way as Casey entered with a steaming mug and a plate that did the same. You sighed with relief and still weren't sure if you were no longer living.
"Casey bringing me food? I must be dead." You tried to joke but the smile Casey gave was sad and forced. You sighed as you sat up, feeling the warmth of the blankets keeping you under. You looked at the food she set at the end of your bed and she dropped to the floor in front of it and wept. You scurried to grasp her shoulder with reassurance "Hey! hey--hey! What's the matter?" you tried to calm her as she hid her face with her slender long hands. She continued to sob and sniffle before you slid of the end of the bed and sat in front of her, kneeling close to her face and clutching her hands to remove them from her face. She tried not to look in your eyes, you could tell, but you fixated yours on hers. You have never truly seen her cry, not like this anyhow, and you usually never made such intimate eye contact unless it was serious, or it was Mr. Hiddleston.
"I thought you were DEAD!?" She sobbed and yelled, as if you really were. You craned your neck back slightly and furrowed your brows in confusion. 'It was her who saved me?' you thought with shock. You snapped out of your gaped mouth look and wrapped your arms around her uncomfortably, but as of now you didn't care. You burrowed your face into her neck and messy brown hair and breathed heavily "Thank you... Thank you Casey!" You said after an extended minute. "I'm so sorry--I didn't mean to--" You tried to keep the tears from falling but it was useless, it felt like your emotional barrier collapsed and the tears were already rolling as you said these words, but you cut them short as you pulled back to handle her face to look at you in the eye. You relaxed them and felt sincerity as you shared this moment. "Thank you Casey" She pressed her lips together and nodded, apparent that she wanted to hold back another heart crushing sob but to no avail, did she succeed.
You slammed into her again for another tight hug but pulled away in an instance, almost like the point at the end of a signature. She nodded and sat up. She hurried over to the window as she wiped stray tears from her cheeks, back towards you still she leaned one hand against the ceil. "You better get ready for school... starts in an hour or so." Her voice was shaky, which matched her body as it struggled to stay standing. You slid your eyes to the floor and nodded. "Yeah..." you barely made with your now so weak voice.
---
After you fixed your uniform, you looked at Casey who stood in the kitchen with a mug of steaming coffee. Her eyes were blank and features paler than the moon. You sighed and fixed yourself a cup. You only have a dozen minutes before school started but thought you could go a bit late considering you almost died this morning.
For a long moment, you both just leaned against the kitchen counter and sipped the beverages. "You might need a jacket." Her voice was flat and unconcerned, you looked at her with a short side glance and twirled your coffee. "Is it heavy out there?" you sighed with little effort to keep the poor conversation going. "So so... but it is cold." At this you chuckled, then gradually enveloped into a hearty laugh and she just looked at you with disbelief. You couldn't stop, it seemed rather funny in an odd way and your laughed started to cramp your abdomen as you laughed louder and harder and almost fell because of your knees going weak with laughter.
Then suddenly, you fell and held your stomach in comical pain as you continued to gorge yourself in the comical remark and she finally joined it, but joined as gradually as you bean to laugh. In only a few hours, You both were back to regular bestfriends and felt as though your near death experience had never happened.
---
The drive to school was brief as it was only 3 minutes. And the walk to class silent. You missed out on roll call and went straight to photography, you waved Casey a short goodbye and breathed in deeply, trying to forget everything that has happened over the last 24-48 hours and walked in class. It was almost empty, considering it was such a small class, and also that it was nearing the end of the school semester, and this showed just how many people really cared about school.
By the end of the day, you felt exhausted, as if trying to forget or barricade all those eventful things was such a drag on the brain. As you walked, you kept your mind empty and distant as you walked to your last class, which was indeed English. You felt a bit nervous as you still had that shameful secret bearing over your mind, and you were nervous how you'd cope with being in the same room with roughly 12 other students and a teacher you're "seeing". Obviously not to their knowledge, but it still made you uneasy.
When you entered, you kept your eyes down and scurried to your normal desk, near the window second from the front, and you glued your eyes out the window into the distant plane of thought. You heard giggles and nasty remarks as the rest of the class entered and finally you heard the loud laughs of Casey and Nigel. You sighed and quickly looked at them making sure not to glimpse the front for Mr. Hiddleston's glossy eyes. You succeeded and met theirs awkwardly and whipped your head back to the window. They plopped into their chairs and the lesson went on.
You half listened to the discussion and the other half drifted every so often when you didn't doodle on the borders of the pages. You didn't want to listen to long as his voice would make you melt in your seat, feeling the vibrations from his chest once again would be bliss but those serene thoughts were quickly thrown away as you remembered Michael laying in your empty almost naked. You met his eyes a few times, but only when he finished talking to the whole class and whenever he caught your eye, he would lock yours and hold them for a bit longer then you wanted.
You couldn't help but feel obliged to keep eye contact as it was the least you could give him considering what you felt you owe, which was a lot to your thinking.
---
When the bell finally rang, You shot from your seat and bolted for the door, but as usual, you were the last one and didn't really want to make any means of communication with any one right now. Not even Nigel, and not even Casey. Casey especially as you knew you'd both end up in tears sooner or later.
Just as you were about to exit you stopped. You felt his head turn to look at you curiously and you turned on your heels and puckered your lips in thought. You opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. After a long minute, you didn't take your eyes of the fixated position they held on the corner of a desk. Then finally, you decided to drop the news bomb right away and get it over and done with. "I've been arranged to marry a man that I slept with yesterday night after I got home.." You tapped your hand against the side of your thigh and clenched it with nervous anticipation for the worst possible scenario that he'd start screaming. But instead, you felt his eyes hot on your face as he sat at the teacher's desk. You leaned on the desk you fixed your eyes on and finally met his eyes with guilt and shame smitten all over you.
He quickly looked down as he fiddled with his thumbs nut fixed his posture from his long body looking like a board laid on the chair and craned over the desk as he stood up. He walked ever so slowly and silently to you and you left your sight to look out the window. He stopped only inches from you, he took hold of your chin and lifted to his face and up. He placed a delicate kiss, as delicate as a feather falling to the floor, feeling as though anything else could break the tension, which in a strange sense, you didn't want it to go. You closed your eyes as his lips lingered on yours like the pain that tingles your lips from eating spicy food, but the pain had a pleasure to it, it made you feel strong, and that's exactly what he was doing.
You traced his long fingers of yours as they leaned against the desk and they traveled up your arm to cup your jaw and deepen the kiss so slightly. He pressed his hips into yours as you stood there motionless. You weren't sure what to do as you felt guilty and wrecked. After a moment of bliss, he pulled away and opened his eyes to lock yours as they glossed under the light. His eyes were unreadable and you were a bit fearful for this, and so you stood in silence.
He finally broke his stare and walked away towards the door. You felt your heart shrink as though you felt that was his final kiss. He paced to the door and you heard it shut. You furrowed your brows in suspicion and about to turn around when his hands wormed around your waist and his arms locked you against him. He breathed hot air on your ear and breathed in. "You're on a streak my darling, and begging isn't going to be enough is it?" e bit the top of your ear slightly and lowered his head to your neck to do the same teasing gesture there. You felt like losing yourself in this moment but was brought back by the reality that you had slept with another man.
Just in the midst of that recurring thought, it was as if he could read your mind as he pulled back up to your ear to hiss in them almost spitefully, but not towards you, just in general, as if he was a completely different person "I wanted all of you before..." He paused his body, and nothing moved, until you felt his hand slide down from your stomach to press his hand over you, you breathed in deep at the sudden touch and felt yourself lean in towards him. He chuckled and continued his raspy, and what seemed wild tone "And I'll show him that you're mine." and at the last words, he spun around. making you feel barren without his body near yours and you breathed out unsteadily.
He returned to the front desk and rummaged the papers together. You stood almost dumbfounded but collected your thoughts as you were reminded of reality when his words spun around in your head. You finally found the words to say something meaningful about the situation and felt that these words were not enough "I'm sorry Mr. Hiddleston, but I--" He snapped his hand up to cease your apologies, without taking his eyes of the messy paper work. He finally piled them and slid them into the drawers of the old desk. He looked up at you and smirked hardheartedly, he slipped his hands into his pockets of his dress pants and crossed his legs to lean on one. You couldn't help but feel a smirk form under your lips and finally show teeth as you genuinely smile.
"It's not your fault... I know you wouldn't marry after school. I know you're not that kind of person." His smile looked so real, so understanding, but you knew that he had sadness churning his guts. Your own smile faded and you twiddled with your hands as you looked at them a bit shy now. "Was it family company arrangement?" He said, as if he's encountered this type of problem before. you gave a weak laugh and met his eyes, with tired dazed eyes "Yeah. My mother wants me to marry to help company bonding..." You seemed like you were about to say more but didn't know how to word it. You stood in silence for a long 2 minutes.
Suddenly, a sneeze snuck up on you and you jerked back. You heard a chuckle rupture his chest and you sneezed again, and one last time. you sniffed and winced at the little pain but smiled as he kept a fruitful chuckle and looked sheepishly to the floor and slipped his eyes up again. "The winter getting to you my dear?" You let out a single laugh and shuddered a bit at the thought of the chillls running down your spine after you sneezed "Yeah, something on the lines..." He approached you and you were a bit wary but relaxed as he swung his long arms around you and embraced you into his warm body. You held your ear against his chest and listened to his heart beat calmly. You breathed in and smelt that familiar elegant, smokey smell and shut your eyes to find peace.
For a short moment you found it then you pulled away to meet his eyes, you smiled warmly and said "Thank you." He crooked a grin and placed a short plantation of his lips over yours once more and paced fast to the desk to grab his black coat, swung it over his shoulders and slipped his arms through. He winked at you and you followed after him as he held the door open for you to exit the class.
You tried to slip the disturbing thoughts of Michael away and succeeded on most part but kept falling back into them, all the while you sub-consciously traveled to his car and you looked back to see him smile at you, his eyelids looked heavy as the eyes underneath journeyed over your body, you shook your head and smiled with sweetness. After you got in his car, he switched the radio on and the song Heavy In Your Arms by Florence+The Machine played. You couldn't help but mime the words as he drove silently to what seemed his place as you passed the street you usually take with Casey back to yours.
It was a long speechless drive as the world covered in snow passed by, you glanced over to Tom a few times, only to see he looked a little worked up, as he kept clenching his jaw or gritted his teeth under his rosy lips. You felt worried for him but never minded the thought and returned to your own out the window.
You felt your head ache as the water embraced your head, you felt your shoulders stiffened as your whole body raised goosebumps across your skin. You breathed out with a shakiness and hissed back in. You closed your eyes and forgot about the cold, you forgot that the water which felt like a snake slither over your feet, you forgot that you were standing in the shower and drifted into the depths of your mind. You really tried to find a way to tell Tom, to tell anyone. You thought of Casey at once and when you opened your eyes your knees felt a weakness in them and you collapsed. You hadn't realized that you stood there for a good long half hour in thought as your body slowly died from the sudden exposure to sub-zero temperature. You were shaking all over and couldn't conjure the strength to lean forward and turn it off. You tried to yell out but the breath in your lungs wasn't there, it went out and in faster then the beating heart of a race horse.
'This is it... ' you thought, feeling like you were going to die of a stupid household accident, or of your complete idiocy. You felt remorse as you were going to be found in a shower naked, and died of hypothermia. You smirked a little at the thought but it faded quickly as you now realized your hands were numb. You creased your eyebrows and closed your eyes once more and drifted into nothingness feeling that these were your last moments, and all that passed in your head as of the moment was how cold you were, and how hot Tom's body was against yours. Unfortunately, this made you feel ever so more freezing and then your mind cut blank, into darkness, into a void of black.
---
You felt a heat prickle your fingertips and you gasped back to life, well what felt like it anyhow. You breathed out short bursts of air and sucked in as much as you can and looked around frantically. You calmed slightly as you were in your own bed again, with the sun just rising. You tried to line your thoughts together as to what was going on. You collected that you last took a shower... a very cold shower and thought yourself dead, and you couldn't help but wonder if this was the next plain for your conscious. Then you whipped your head to the door way as Casey entered with a steaming mug and a plate that did the same. You sighed with relief and still weren't sure if you were no longer living.
"Casey bringing me food? I must be dead." You tried to joke but the smile Casey gave was sad and forced. You sighed as you sat up, feeling the warmth of the blankets keeping you under. You looked at the food she set at the end of your bed and she dropped to the floor in front of it and wept. You scurried to grasp her shoulder with reassurance "Hey! hey--hey! What's the matter?" you tried to calm her as she hid her face with her slender long hands. She continued to sob and sniffle before you slid of the end of the bed and sat in front of her, kneeling close to her face and clutching her hands to remove them from her face. She tried not to look in your eyes, you could tell, but you fixated yours on hers. You have never truly seen her cry, not like this anyhow, and you usually never made such intimate eye contact unless it was serious, or it was Mr. Hiddleston.
"I thought you were DEAD!?" She sobbed and yelled, as if you really were. You craned your neck back slightly and furrowed your brows in confusion. 'It was her who saved me?' you thought with shock. You snapped out of your gaped mouth look and wrapped your arms around her uncomfortably, but as of now you didn't care. You burrowed your face into her neck and messy brown hair and breathed heavily "Thank you... Thank you Casey!" You said after an extended minute. "I'm so sorry--I didn't mean to--" You tried to keep the tears from falling but it was useless, it felt like your emotional barrier collapsed and the tears were already rolling as you said these words, but you cut them short as you pulled back to handle her face to look at you in the eye. You relaxed them and felt sincerity as you shared this moment. "Thank you Casey" She pressed her lips together and nodded, apparent that she wanted to hold back another heart crushing sob but to no avail, did she succeed.
You slammed into her again for another tight hug but pulled away in an instance, almost like the point at the end of a signature. She nodded and sat up. She hurried over to the window as she wiped stray tears from her cheeks, back towards you still she leaned one hand against the ceil. "You better get ready for school... starts in an hour or so." Her voice was shaky, which matched her body as it struggled to stay standing. You slid your eyes to the floor and nodded. "Yeah..." you barely made with your now so weak voice.
---
After you fixed your uniform, you looked at Casey who stood in the kitchen with a mug of steaming coffee. Her eyes were blank and features paler than the moon. You sighed and fixed yourself a cup. You only have a dozen minutes before school started but thought you could go a bit late considering you almost died this morning.
For a long moment, you both just leaned against the kitchen counter and sipped the beverages. "You might need a jacket." Her voice was flat and unconcerned, you looked at her with a short side glance and twirled your coffee. "Is it heavy out there?" you sighed with little effort to keep the poor conversation going. "So so... but it is cold." At this you chuckled, then gradually enveloped into a hearty laugh and she just looked at you with disbelief. You couldn't stop, it seemed rather funny in an odd way and your laughed started to cramp your abdomen as you laughed louder and harder and almost fell because of your knees going weak with laughter.
Then suddenly, you fell and held your stomach in comical pain as you continued to gorge yourself in the comical remark and she finally joined it, but joined as gradually as you bean to laugh. In only a few hours, You both were back to regular bestfriends and felt as though your near death experience had never happened.
---
The drive to school was brief as it was only 3 minutes. And the walk to class silent. You missed out on roll call and went straight to photography, you waved Casey a short goodbye and breathed in deeply, trying to forget everything that has happened over the last 24-48 hours and walked in class. It was almost empty, considering it was such a small class, and also that it was nearing the end of the school semester, and this showed just how many people really cared about school.
By the end of the day, you felt exhausted, as if trying to forget or barricade all those eventful things was such a drag on the brain. As you walked, you kept your mind empty and distant as you walked to your last class, which was indeed English. You felt a bit nervous as you still had that shameful secret bearing over your mind, and you were nervous how you'd cope with being in the same room with roughly 12 other students and a teacher you're "seeing". Obviously not to their knowledge, but it still made you uneasy.
When you entered, you kept your eyes down and scurried to your normal desk, near the window second from the front, and you glued your eyes out the window into the distant plane of thought. You heard giggles and nasty remarks as the rest of the class entered and finally you heard the loud laughs of Casey and Nigel. You sighed and quickly looked at them making sure not to glimpse the front for Mr. Hiddleston's glossy eyes. You succeeded and met theirs awkwardly and whipped your head back to the window. They plopped into their chairs and the lesson went on.
You half listened to the discussion and the other half drifted every so often when you didn't doodle on the borders of the pages. You didn't want to listen to long as his voice would make you melt in your seat, feeling the vibrations from his chest once again would be bliss but those serene thoughts were quickly thrown away as you remembered Michael laying in your empty almost naked. You met his eyes a few times, but only when he finished talking to the whole class and whenever he caught your eye, he would lock yours and hold them for a bit longer then you wanted.
You couldn't help but feel obliged to keep eye contact as it was the least you could give him considering what you felt you owe, which was a lot to your thinking.
---
When the bell finally rang, You shot from your seat and bolted for the door, but as usual, you were the last one and didn't really want to make any means of communication with any one right now. Not even Nigel, and not even Casey. Casey especially as you knew you'd both end up in tears sooner or later.
Just as you were about to exit you stopped. You felt his head turn to look at you curiously and you turned on your heels and puckered your lips in thought. You opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. After a long minute, you didn't take your eyes of the fixated position they held on the corner of a desk. Then finally, you decided to drop the news bomb right away and get it over and done with. "I've been arranged to marry a man that I slept with yesterday night after I got home.." You tapped your hand against the side of your thigh and clenched it with nervous anticipation for the worst possible scenario that he'd start screaming. But instead, you felt his eyes hot on your face as he sat at the teacher's desk. You leaned on the desk you fixed your eyes on and finally met his eyes with guilt and shame smitten all over you.
He quickly looked down as he fiddled with his thumbs nut fixed his posture from his long body looking like a board laid on the chair and craned over the desk as he stood up. He walked ever so slowly and silently to you and you left your sight to look out the window. He stopped only inches from you, he took hold of your chin and lifted to his face and up. He placed a delicate kiss, as delicate as a feather falling to the floor, feeling as though anything else could break the tension, which in a strange sense, you didn't want it to go. You closed your eyes as his lips lingered on yours like the pain that tingles your lips from eating spicy food, but the pain had a pleasure to it, it made you feel strong, and that's exactly what he was doing.
You traced his long fingers of yours as they leaned against the desk and they traveled up your arm to cup your jaw and deepen the kiss so slightly. He pressed his hips into yours as you stood there motionless. You weren't sure what to do as you felt guilty and wrecked. After a moment of bliss, he pulled away and opened his eyes to lock yours as they glossed under the light. His eyes were unreadable and you were a bit fearful for this, and so you stood in silence.
He finally broke his stare and walked away towards the door. You felt your heart shrink as though you felt that was his final kiss. He paced to the door and you heard it shut. You furrowed your brows in suspicion and about to turn around when his hands wormed around your waist and his arms locked you against him. He breathed hot air on your ear and breathed in. "You're on a streak my darling, and begging isn't going to be enough is it?" e bit the top of your ear slightly and lowered his head to your neck to do the same teasing gesture there. You felt like losing yourself in this moment but was brought back by the reality that you had slept with another man.
Just in the midst of that recurring thought, it was as if he could read your mind as he pulled back up to your ear to hiss in them almost spitefully, but not towards you, just in general, as if he was a completely different person "I wanted all of you before..." He paused his body, and nothing moved, until you felt his hand slide down from your stomach to press his hand over you, you breathed in deep at the sudden touch and felt yourself lean in towards him. He chuckled and continued his raspy, and what seemed wild tone "And I'll show him that you're mine." and at the last words, he spun around. making you feel barren without his body near yours and you breathed out unsteadily.
He returned to the front desk and rummaged the papers together. You stood almost dumbfounded but collected your thoughts as you were reminded of reality when his words spun around in your head. You finally found the words to say something meaningful about the situation and felt that these words were not enough "I'm sorry Mr. Hiddleston, but I--" He snapped his hand up to cease your apologies, without taking his eyes of the messy paper work. He finally piled them and slid them into the drawers of the old desk. He looked up at you and smirked hardheartedly, he slipped his hands into his pockets of his dress pants and crossed his legs to lean on one. You couldn't help but feel a smirk form under your lips and finally show teeth as you genuinely smile.
"It's not your fault... I know you wouldn't marry after school. I know you're not that kind of person." His smile looked so real, so understanding, but you knew that he had sadness churning his guts. Your own smile faded and you twiddled with your hands as you looked at them a bit shy now. "Was it family company arrangement?" He said, as if he's encountered this type of problem before. you gave a weak laugh and met his eyes, with tired dazed eyes "Yeah. My mother wants me to marry to help company bonding..." You seemed like you were about to say more but didn't know how to word it. You stood in silence for a long 2 minutes.
Suddenly, a sneeze snuck up on you and you jerked back. You heard a chuckle rupture his chest and you sneezed again, and one last time. you sniffed and winced at the little pain but smiled as he kept a fruitful chuckle and looked sheepishly to the floor and slipped his eyes up again. "The winter getting to you my dear?" You let out a single laugh and shuddered a bit at the thought of the chillls running down your spine after you sneezed "Yeah, something on the lines..." He approached you and you were a bit wary but relaxed as he swung his long arms around you and embraced you into his warm body. You held your ear against his chest and listened to his heart beat calmly. You breathed in and smelt that familiar elegant, smokey smell and shut your eyes to find peace.
For a short moment you found it then you pulled away to meet his eyes, you smiled warmly and said "Thank you." He crooked a grin and placed a short plantation of his lips over yours once more and paced fast to the desk to grab his black coat, swung it over his shoulders and slipped his arms through. He winked at you and you followed after him as he held the door open for you to exit the class.
You tried to slip the disturbing thoughts of Michael away and succeeded on most part but kept falling back into them, all the while you sub-consciously traveled to his car and you looked back to see him smile at you, his eyelids looked heavy as the eyes underneath journeyed over your body, you shook your head and smiled with sweetness. After you got in his car, he switched the radio on and the song Heavy In Your Arms by Florence+The Machine played. You couldn't help but mime the words as he drove silently to what seemed his place as you passed the street you usually take with Casey back to yours.
It was a long speechless drive as the world covered in snow passed by, you glanced over to Tom a few times, only to see he looked a little worked up, as he kept clenching his jaw or gritted his teeth under his rosy lips. You felt worried for him but never minded the thought and returned to your own out the window.
♠ ♠ ♠
okay! Sorry for the long wait me lovelies. I hope you enjoy and yeah! long chapter, and I apologize. but thank you for reading!