Teacher. Lover. Maniac.

The wedding day. You looked at the circled date and felt nothing. In the past few days, that’s all you could feel, or do. You wanted to talk to someone about it, but Casey was dead, Nigel, whom you haven’t spoken to in a while, was god knows where and wouldn’t answer his phone, and Tom... How could you even try to talk to him about it? All of it seemed to large for you to handle.

Nonetheless, you had called Tom. After a few tries, he didn’t answer. You sat on your bed and looked at the calendar again. Three days, you had three days to talk to Tom. Perhaps you had a chance at graduation tonight? Perhaps not. Now that you were reminded, you decided to get ready for the event.

Alas, when you finished, you looked into the mirror, you saw a hollow figure trapped in it’s frame. You really didn’t know what to feel, it was just all... You wiped a tear that had shaped in the corner of your eye and proceeded out the door.

You sighed when you forgot you had no way of getting to the graduation ceremony, but you didn’t mind, right now you just wanted to be left alone, and that’s exactly what you were. You sat on the couch and broke. You just felt so weak, so helpless, like a child who has no choice in anything. You tried your best to keep the tears from smudging your make up but you weren’t sure if you had succeed; when an unexpected knock had echoed on the door. Quickly you fixed yourself and answered it.

Your features had turned from mundane to suppressed surprise and happiness when you saw Tom standing at the door, hands deep in the pockets of his black jacket. He traced his eyes the length of your body and smiled lightly, “You look lovely my dear”. Again, you felt like it was too much, but smiled as tears traveled on your cheeks. You leapt in his arms and wrapped your own around his neck, he laughed at your excitement and wrapped his strong hands around you.

Once you let go, he motioned to his car and offered to take you and you nodded, the thought that other teachers and students would see you didn’t bother you at this point, you just wanted to cherish these moments with him.

On the way, he explained that he had a friend staying the past days and answering your call may arouse questions from his prying friend. You weren’t sure to believe or trust that but you wanted to sweep it under the carpet as soon as you could.

Once you arrived, you looked to him for courage, he could tell you were nervous and cupped your face, smoothing over your jaw line and planting a small kiss that flourished courage in you again. “You’ll be fine my lovely.” Feeling a little more cheery, you sprung out of the car and joined the rest of the students.

Graduation was a gruelling, long ceremony, but at least it had passed, and most part, you managed to get a few photos, you didn’t want to completely forget about it. You still felt that emptiness though when you looked around to see other students with their parents. When you had crept to the edge of the crowd, you felt a strong grip around your hand and a pull, you spun around to see Tom leading you back to the car quickly, a big smile glowing from his face, you couldn’t help but be infected by it.

After a few moments of driving, you noticed you were travelling back to the lake. When you arrived, you knew that this was going to be the last time you see this place, it would be the last time what this place meant to you, love, your own choices. You turned to look at Tom and failed to see any marks of a smile in his features, his expression had matched that of the atmosphere here. The water was almost still, the clouds grey, the air cold and brisk. You sighed heavily and finally he broke the eerie silence.

“I want to be with you, believe me, nothing would make me happier.” You knew what he was implying, so you couldn’t wait for the rest, “But...” you could feel his sincere gaze on you when he continued from your suggestive word, “But this is for the best.” You let out a desperate, frantic laugh when you heard his words. “for the best you say? How? I’m being married off to the man who killed my best friend, I—“ You stopped there, you didn’t want to end it like this. You shook your head from the thoughts and pursed your lips together.

You could feel Tom’s indecisions, what he could possibly say to reassure you, but you of all people knew there was no way out. You heard him approach, and you didn’t notice you had started to cry again until he wrapped his arms around you for one last time. He pulled you tight and you snuggled into his chest, feeling weak as he kissed your forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish I could do something about it.”

You had stayed like this for a long time until you decided it was time for you to go back. With less than an hour, you were back at your house, with Tom laying beside you as you fell asleep. Just before you had slipped into slumber you grasped for his hand lightly, “promise me you won’t leave.” He tried to smile, but only sadness had formed in his features as he couldn’t bear to lie, “I can’t promise you that, for I have to exit your life for you to be happy. Hopefully, this marriage with Micheal, will make you forget about me in the later run, and you will live happily with a family, a big house, a dog...” you both laughed weakly at this and he went on.

“But I will still be thinking of you, perhaps a little sad, but happy that you chose a life like that. That would bring me much happiness that you would be with someone like you.” You wanted to object to how he will see it, but it would be in vain, you knew it was true, maybe you might feel happy with Micheal (in the later run), but you wouldn’t be happy. Your thoughts were slowed when he placed his lips on your own, and finally a heavy weight had started to close your eyes. “After tonight, you won’t have to see me anymore...”

As the world had darkened, those were the last words you heard. And what felt like a second, you snapped your eyes open and sat up, luckily, being able to catch Tom in the act of leaving, but unfortunately, it was light outside. You turned around to look at the alarm clock. 8 in the morning, the day before the wedding.

You felt an overwhelming sadness creep in again, Tom leaving that night while you slept, you knew for a fact that it was over, you would never see him again. It actually felt like your heart had physically broke, that it wouldn’t function properly again. You pulled the covers over your head and lay back down, trying to blot out the light, the noise, everything. It felt like it was all pointless now.

You were once happy, when Tom was the one who had brought on these feelings, how he made you feel new, alive, colourful, and now it was all over in a moment’s notice. You knew it may have never worked between the two of you, but it would have been worth a try. You heard a knock come from your door but didn’t bother responding, but the door opened anyway. You heard your mother’s sounds but was blocked out from the covers and pillows.

You jumped slightly as your mother unexpectedly ripped the blankets from your head, “You better get yourself together for tomorrow... I know that it’s going to be hard, but looking a little decent won’t hurt anybody.” You cringed and fought her for the blankets and slammed your head back on the bed. Right now was definitely not the time for her shit right now. Nonethelss, she removed the covers from you and dropped them on the floor, savagely opened your blinds as she explained what was happening with the wedding, how she picked out a dress for you, table settings, location.

A portion of you was glad she had done this, since you would just be completely indifferent and would just shrug everything off. You grunted and decided to get up, you looked to her with resentful eyes but she threw you a smile pile of clothing for you to wear and obliged to her commands. “We’re driving out to the location today; I also already packed your suitcase. It’s in the car, and the drive is a couple of hours, you’ll be glad.” There was no expression in her voice, you felt as though she didn’t want this, that she was also regretting it but still, she was going through with it.

You changed quickly, didn’t bother with makeup, since you felt it wouldn’t be necessary, and you really couldn’t care anymore. Everything from here on felt like it was going downhill, and at the bottom it was just all a bottomless pit or nothingness.